Your other halves/partners/husbands/Wives

[vickieford85]

I am fairly new to the childminding game less than 6 months in but it is seriously having a bad effect on my marriage.

My husband really isn't coping with having children in the house all day. I don't really have a choice when it comes to the job, my husband works shifts since having our youngest child, we can't afford childcare however I need to bring in a wage to cover our bills.

How is everyone else other halves about it?

[Curly Quavers]

In what way is he not coping? Sleeping through the day?

My OH works shifts and tbh it hasn't changed us very much at all. He knows how much of a difference my money makes to our life so he knows just to get on with it.

[angiemog]

My husband works shifts too. He is very laid back and it doesn't bother him at all. We don't have children of our own so it has been a big change. However due to the long hours I now work and the mess the house gets in.... he does have to help more. We have discussed it a few times and he likes the money I bring in too much to complain. :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:
He calls helping me his part time job. The children all love him. x

[vickieford85]

We argue (when mindees aren't there), because he no longer has the time to watch his programmes on the telly as I feel they are unappropreaiate.
The noise level, the fact that he feels he can't relax once in from work or going out to work.
The amount of toys etc etc the list could go on and on. He doesn't do a night shift thankfully.

I have already resorted to finding mums and tots, childminder groups etc on every morning so that when he is on afternoons he has the house to himself. But I feel every time i do something to try and improve it makes matter worse and it no longer feels like home and he shouldn't have to go into a bedroom to watch the telly.

[Ben10mad]

Ive been childminding for 4 years, after two years me and my partner seperated, relised it was down to work! I was working long shifts till around 9pm, He worked away, sometimes on nights, didnt spend any time together really, but after 2 months apart i relised it was me working long hours so i cut my kids down by half and we got back together!
Im currently full at the moment again but i finish at 6pm so i still have my family time. but that made me always put my family first :)

[huggableshelly]

my hubby found it hard as i gained more children but he works 3 wks nights, 1 wk afternoons 1 wk days, the days are harder for him as he gets home at 3pm to a housefull of mindees. he has taken up running or will go out food shopping or takes our own kiddies swimming.

i looked at cutting back to make it easier for us all but the money is nice allowing us to spend on none essentials such as swimming, violin lessons, family outings and so on.

[Carpet Monkeys]

Mine just goes off to sea for 7 months to escape the bedlam!!!

[Mookins]

sounds like my hubby...hes already told me what he doesnt want,,,ie no toys everywhere, house not taken over etc etc

so i told him he has to understand if i do this job its MY business im the one bringing in the income as he decided to bust his back (:rolleyes: )
ive told him if he wants to watch the telly he can upstairs, whilst im working if he doesnt like the noise go out. Once you have a routine going im sure it will work out fine

i thinki at the end of the day you need to set out rules from the start after all you both have to live their and you have to work, i was told at the very beginning of enquiring about this course that if family members arent happy then its going to be a struggle...

hubby actually admitted to me today that if hes not allowed to go back to his main job then he would actually like to do the course too and become partners:clapping:
would your other half be interested? x x x

[manjay]

I am of the opinion that life is all about making the best of what you have. You say you have no choice in the job you do so I would say that your dh has to learn to deal with it.

I am lucky in that my dh is registered too but he only looks after the children on his own very occasionally. He knows that my work is important to me and more importantly to the family as a whole and he has no problem with anything I do. Whenever he is here he just mucks in with the children.

[Carol M]

When i started 9yrs ago DH did not like coming home to a house full of children.
He made it known and was even rude to a mum. Not to worry , she was already a friend and they are both still rude to each other all the time (love each other really).
Things have changed over the years and now he is very proud of what I do.
I do my best to tidy things away before he gets home but all the stuff on the walls stays put. He even said he liked the butterflys that I have printed, laminated, cut out and stuck all over the wall with blu-tac!
One day, I hope, we will be able to afford to convert our garage into a play room so our lounge will stay a lounge!
At the end of the day this is my job and he accepts that now.
Hope your other half comes round. Why not buy him his very own telly!
Carol x

[mamasheshe]

my Dh accepts it he's not working at the moment so unfortunately for him seems to of become our in house cleaner,baby rocker,food preparer,DIYer, phonecallmaker,shopper,errand runner,toddler tamer,washer upper,clother folder general extra pare of hands ! not what he want's to do for ever and wouldn't want to be registered himself as doesn't want the responsibility solely on him.i have two DDS but there not his so not used to the responsibility of kids:rolleyes: i don't know what we'll do when he finds a job :panic:

we do leave him at home in the mornings and he usually caches up on any chores :blush: :blush: and goes down the gym if he want's to watch telly he watches it in the evening

[Fabby]

We converted our spare room with a big 42" tv in there for if and when he finishes work early.

[Mookins]

We converted our spare room with a big 42" tv in there for if and when he finishes work early.

what a fab idea, fill with cold beers and food and lock the door everones happy:laughing: :clapping:

[juejue]

[QUOTE=vickieford85;717678]We argue (when mindees aren't there), because he no longer has the time to watch his programmes on the telly as I feel they are unappropreaiate.
The noise level, the fact that he feels he can't relax once in from work or going out to work.
The amount of toys etc etc the list could go on and on.



I ended up putting a 40" Tv in the dinning room for my hubby and stopped putting loads of things on the wall. We were the same, even my daughters hated all the toys all over the house. I would try and tidy up a bit before they all came home from work. I dont now how many times we all fall out over it. But over the years it has got better.. Now I have a large summer house in the garden and a lot of the toys are in there. :)

[The Juggler]

We argue (when mindees aren't there), because he no longer has the time to watch his programmes on the telly as I feel they are unappropreaiate.
The noise level, the fact that he feels he can't relax once in from work or going out to work.
The amount of toys etc etc the list could go on and on. He doesn't do a night shift thankfully.

I have already resorted to finding mums and tots, childminder groups etc on every morning so that when he is on afternoons he has the house to himself. But I feel every time i do something to try and improve it makes matter worse and it no longer feels like home and he shouldn't have to go into a bedroom to watch the telly.

gosh hon, that seems a bit harsh of him. can't he put a spare tv in the bedroom so he can watch what he wants. your home is your workplace after all and you shouldn't feel in the way when you are working - after all it's a full on, ****** hard job - he should be supporting you.:(

[Pipsqueak]

childminding can be harsh on the rest of the family but you both need to find ways to compromise. Hubs has to realise that you are working - albiet from home and contributing to the families' financies - talk to him and explain that if you aren't doing this then whats the alternative.....
can he set up an area in a spare room where you keep the minding parahenalia to a minimum. he has got to understand that of course some programmes are going to be unsuitable viewing for youngsters and there is going to be some kit and caboodle that goes with it.
I supppose it depends on the size of your home, I am lucky enough to designate the sitting room as the 'quiet/tv/sleeping/older childrens room' - no minding bumpf in there and older kids can play on the console or hubs can watch tv etc.

[Roseolivia]

I'm lucky that our house is big and we have a seperate playroom although when i have the babies i use the living room as it's easier (can control what they pick up more) and my partner has a room of his own with a tv , settee and his computer so when he's home and the kids are here he can go in there. He works from home but his office is in the garden luckily as it was a nightmare when it was in the house.
Just tell hubby that you'll give up working but you'll need xxx cash for the shopping, clothes etc..:laughing:
My partner sometimes gets sick of the mess all over the downstairs but most of that is made by my 3yr old daughter so i just ignore him and tell him to keep her occupied.

[mama2three]

My oh 'puts up with' everything that goes with childminding. He works long hours and so isnt here when the children are , and wouldnt be..even when he has a rare opportunity to be home early he checks what time the children are going first..I do my best to turn the house back to home before he gets in.
For us it wouldnt have even been an option if he had been at home some of the time ...he has no patience / tolerance at all!!....but your oh was aware of all this before you started wasnt he?
Sounds like you need a sit down and a talk... what made you decide on minding? what is more important to him , his telly and brief periods of inconvenience etc or you being able to be at home for your own children whilst providing an income?

[pinky33]

Guess were lucky we both childmind together, were both women too so that helps lol :)

[monkey62]

I beleive I'm lucky, as my husband is very suportive... at least he is now after I show to him in on a paper how much I earn myself and I also added how much we save because we are not using childcare......the answer was ''oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh'''.
If he is finish work early he will take our own children for them after school activities( swiming, tennis, etc) or he will get home to cook a dinner when I'm with all the kids in a park/ garden.
Some days he will just cary on with family stuff like shooping, bills, clean garage, repair a bike, wash a cars etc. I'm quiet good with planning my family life, so he is always busy.
Also as I have my own children( which is make the tv problem easier) we won't have tv on in day time (adult programmes) except Cbeebies and child friendly DVD's, after tea.

[vickieford85]

All your parnters appear to be so supportive.

Yes he knew of all this before I started. The reason I currently childmind is because since having our youngest son 15 months ago he is now on rotating shifts of a week of 6-2 a week of 2-10. Where as prior to youngest son he just worked 6-2 so I then went out to work in the evenings.

We are young parents and both sets of parents work so in order for me 2 work a day time job in would mean childcare for both and we just simply can't afford it as we all know being in the business it costs around £300 a month for a meer 2 days a week childcare which defyes the point of going back to work and we wouldn't get the help from tax credits.

I only need to being in £550 a month to help cover the bills, but I so NEED to bring this money in there is no getting round it.

We have downstairs a dining room then connecting living room consevatory then the kitchen. The dining room is not insured so he could have that room but he states that he doesn'e know why he should have to sit on a dining room chair once he comes home from work.

As for the people who's partners help out with your own children and doing the cleaning and cooking I am very envyous. My husband thinks that because I have been at home all day I should have found the time to do the cooking and I should do the cleaning (of entire house), as its the mindees that have made the mess. He also won't take our children to clubs as he states he is only there every other week so whats the point.

Sorry again for the negative posts I'm just feeling so down currently, we are different bedrooms it's gotten so bad I think maybe my childminding was just the tip of the iceburg.
Thanks for reading(also sorry for my bad spelling)

[funfunfun]

My Partner works nights

However my own children on occasion have thrown a wobbler and slamed the occasional door waking him . I can say though he may have a moan when he gets up but usually thats about it :)

He falls strate back to sleep though . in fact some days i i didnt wake him im sure he wud stay there alllllllllllll day (he he )

Im sure when i actually start with the mindees he will be fine and besides

(he doesnt have a choice ) listen to me : )

[Tinglesnark]

:eek:
im amazed that he is making you feel bad about this?? i suppose i must be lucky because my dp works long hours but has never mentioned anything about my minding in a derogatory fashion. the toys are a bit of a bugbear but we had all of those before i started so he went out and found some decent storage for me. he just lets me get on with it but i have to say that if he did have a problem with any of it then it would be tough t***ies for him because that is life - i work from home as a childminder or i dont work - they are my terms boyo, take 'em or leave 'em!
noway would i let a man tell me what i can and cant do in my own home....
honestly! anyone would think that they have rights! pah! men! should come with a lockable cage i say!
:laughing:

[monkey62]

All your parnters appear to be so supportive.

Yes he knew of all this before I started. The reason I currently childmind is because since having our youngest son 15 months ago he is now on rotating shifts of a week of 6-2 a week of 2-10. Where as prior to youngest son he just worked 6-2 so I then went out to work in the evenings.

We are young parents and both sets of parents work so in order for me 2 work a day time job in would mean childcare for both and we just simply can't afford it as we all know being in the business it costs around £300 a month for a meer 2 days a week childcare which defyes the point of going back to work and we wouldn't get the help from tax credits.

I only need to being in £550 a month to help cover the bills, but I so NEED to bring this money in there is no getting round it.

We have downstairs a dining room then connecting living room consevatory then the kitchen. The dining room is not insured so he could have that room but he states that he doesn'e know why he should have to sit on a dining room chair once he comes home from work.

As for the people who's partners help out with your own children and doing the cleaning and cooking I am very envyous. My husband thinks that because I have been at home all day I should have found the time to do the cooking and I should do the cleaning (of entire house), as its the mindees that have made the mess. He also won't take our children to clubs as he states he is only there every other week so whats the point.

Sorry again for the negative posts I'm just feeling so down currently, we are different bedrooms it's gotten so bad I think maybe my childminding was just the tip of the iceburg.
Thanks for reading(also sorry for my bad spelling)


He should be happy, supportive and to apreciate because you are trying the best to helpyour family financial and earn some decent money but if he doesn't need your help that means he is able to manage by him self then send him to get a second job to cover your family financial needs

[Mollymop]

My other half is at work all day - he leaves at 5.30am and gets hime around 5.30, so he doesn't really get to see any of the mindees unless he gets home early.

When he used to work nights he would go to bed and get up around 2 while I was about to do the school run and when I got back he was out doing something in the garage or upstairs having a bath out the way!

But he has never complained as he knows its my job - if he doesn't want to be around the children he will go and do something out the way

[The Juggler]

oh hon. I would have a seriousl heart to heart. Without a supportive dp this job can be so hard. I would like someone else said either he's behind you and helps out around the house or you stop minding and he takes a second job to make up the shortfall leaving you with only your kids and time to do the cooking and the house:(

[caz3007]

My hubby is pretty good. He will often tidy up toys as he gets in around the time the mindies leave and if I work on until 6pm he often sorts out our tea. He is out at work all day, but occassionally if he is off or at home, he sits in the other room. We are lucky cos we have two lounges, one for minding and one for family.

He does moan sometimes but realises without my income we wouldnt eat or have any extras at all, so its a case of needs must. I just wish he would help a little more with the housework, but you cant have everything

[funemnx]

Oh golly I do feel for you! What a stressful situation for you and your family. I can see how hard you're working at this, it's very easy for us to say he should be more understanding but how to make that happen? Maybe he can offer some specific suggestions himself as to how to make this work? As you say, you HAVE to do this job, so how to make it work for all of you? He may be more inclined to change if the ball is put in his court.....

[Pipsqueak]

All your parnters appear to be so supportive.

Yes he knew of all this before I started. The reason I currently childmind is because since having our youngest son 15 months ago he is now on rotating shifts of a week of 6-2 a week of 2-10. Where as prior to youngest son he just worked 6-2 so I then went out to work in the evenings.

We are young parents and both sets of parents work so in order for me 2 work a day time job in would mean childcare for both and we just simply can't afford it as we all know being in the business it costs around £300 a month for a meer 2 days a week childcare which defyes the point of going back to work and we wouldn't get the help from tax credits.

I only need to being in £550 a month to help cover the bills, but I so NEED to bring this money in there is no getting round it.

We have downstairs a dining room then connecting living room consevatory then the kitchen. The dining room is not insured so he could have that room but he states that he doesn'e know why he should have to sit on a dining room chair once he comes home from work.

As for the people who's partners help out with your own children and doing the cleaning and cooking I am very envyous. My husband thinks that because I have been at home all day I should have found the time to do the cooking and I should do the cleaning (of entire house), as its the mindees that have made the mess. He also won't take our children to clubs as he states he is only there every other week so whats the point.

Sorry again for the negative posts I'm just feeling so down currently, we are different bedrooms it's gotten so bad I think maybe my childminding was just the tip of the iceburg.
Thanks for reading(also sorry for my bad spelling)


can you not show him this thread? make him see how much its upsetting you that you are busting a gut to help keep your family afloat and getting no support.

Of course we all appreciate that our other halves need some space and time but at the end of the day us minders ARE WORKING TOO. Just because we are home all day doesn't mean we are being ladies (or gents) of leisure.

sounds like your hubs needs a kick up the rear end tbh - would you like us to descend on your home and come round and educate him.... Miffy is really handy with a bat, Sarah is good with words the rest of us are pretty darned intimidating:D :laughing:

Honestly, my hubs does get a bit fed up occasionally of kids, posters, mess, playdoh etc at times but he has finally come round to the idea that i am working to the point he does help out and comes up with fab ideas (although I might have planted them there first lol).

don't apologise for the manner of your posting - you need some support and help and you aren't getting it from your fella therefore you are getting it from us.

if all else fails hun - do what you would do with a whinging, uncooperative child - IGNORE!

[FussyElmo]

I am fairly new to the childminding game less than 6 months in but it is seriously having a bad effect on my marriage.

My husband really isn't coping with having children in the house all day. I don't really have a choice when it comes to the job, my husband works shifts since having our youngest child, we can't afford childcare however I need to bring in a wage to cover our bills.

How is everyone else other halves about it?

I can understand how both of you are feeling. It is a hard job to be doing in the house and if your dh is like mine then he wont understand that we cant do the housework when the children are there.

It has taken me nearly 4 years to get it througvh to my dh that I will not iron tidy the upstairs etc when I have mindees here.

We have finally come to a compromise I try and keep on top of everything and he pitches in to help when I ask but not to moan when I havent done something.

Couldnt you use the dining room instead of your dh so he gets to relax when he gets in from work. Not sure what time you work till but if he relaxed in the living room for say an hour while you did an activity would that make things easier.

Hope things improve and you can find a compromise.

[mamasheshe]

oh dear hope he understands xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Mookins]

please tell me if im overstepping the mark here, i should mind my own business....
but it soundsto me like whatever you do you cant win....beginning to think that thiswill be make or break time for you.i dont know but maybe there was problems before you were minding that were bubbling under the surface

i really really hope im wrong, maybe hes just being an "idiot" and cant see the benefits but personally from your posts id say the bloke is a pig and you deserve a bit of bloomin respect!

im sending you loads of hugs and loads more...and a poke in the eye for him:)

[Monkey26]

My partner gives the odd comment of:
"God, more toys" when I have had a lil spending spree!
"How am I supposed to sweep the floor when there are toys everywhere?!" when I have piled them all up because I know we will be using them the next day
“This house looks like a nursery” this one only comes out when we have friends over for dinner or the parents down!
Or the classic last night "f***!!!" followed by a wee sofa punch- stood on a piece of Lego I had missed... oopsie!!!

But all in all she is very helpful, appreciates how much work I put into minding-especially all the paperwork in the evenings-, tackles the washing up that has piled up throughout the day and best of all the kids adore her!!! So much so I hardly get a look in when she comes home from work (finishes at 3.30pm three days a week!)-just enough time for me to catch up on communication books, in the same room of course! :laughing:

We have been together 2.5years and I have been minding 3.5years so she didn't really have much choice in my career path haha :)
I really hope you and your OH sort it all out, childminding can be very lonely sometimes and hard work (but so worth it!) so a good home life is always important. Be honest with your OH about how this is making you feel-good luck xx

[Carol M]

I say that most nights about the lego!:laughing: :laughing:
No children present, honest!!
Carol xx

[Bushpig]

I am sorry to hear this... :( I really think you need to have a heart to heart and reach a compromise... him accepting that your home is now also a place of work... and perhaps you could make use of the dining room more for the kids and leave the lounge for him a bit? Not the easiest I know!

My hubby works long hours - leaves at 6:45am, comes in, shattered, by 6:15pm if traffic is good ... and if there are kids here, he puts his stuff down and immediately (bless him!) sits and reads to them, they love him! :clapping: He has had frustrations in the past re the toys etc (we don't have kids of our own), but has come to really appreciate my hard work (and the £££!!!)... and rarely comments in a negative manner.

He also knows I am sooooooo happy doing this job, having had a career change 3 years ago (am a senior graphic designer)... and understands his little sacrifices are very little compared to the joy I have looking after the kids. (His own words).

I do make every effort to ensure my home is tidy by home time... the kids tidy up before they get dressed for home time. I am also nowhere near as enthusiastic :blush: as I was once re putting posters everywhere... our home looked like a nursery school! Now, I don't have posters downstairs, only upstairs in the playroom... and I use window clings downstairs to decorate - they're fab :thumbsup:

It's the little considerations that make all the difference... this does have to go both ways though. And if hubby cannot get his head round sharing his home with other children... then he has to make a plan to cover the shortfall in funds you have every month. :rolleyes:

[BlondeMoment]

My husband works shifts too. He is very laid back and it doesn't bother him at all. We don't have children of our own so it has been a big change. However due to the long hours I now work and the mess the house gets in.... he does have to help more. We have discussed it a few times and he likes the money I bring in too much to complain. :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:
He calls helping me his part time job. The children all love him. x

We don't have children of our own either. It's really upended our very small house. But we've got a big spare room and at the weekend everything child related gets shut in there so we can reclaim our newlywed "childfree" house.
My husband leaves the house at 7.30am and doesn't get home till almost 7pm so he doesn't see most of them. But on the few times he has been around he's been really good. Escapes to X box in our room if al a bit much and he wants to chill LOL

[angiemog]

I really feel for. I echo what has already been said, sit down and talk maybe away from the house. Childminding does need alot of giving and taking.
Ask him what he expects or wants from you. The shifts he does I can't see why this is a huge problem. 2 til 10, get out and about some mornings (which you say you do) there shouldn't be too much time that he 'has' to spend with mindees. 6-2 ok theres a few hours in the afternoon, I think he is being a little unreasonable. If my house needs a good clean I say to my hubbie I need 2 hours of your time then you can have the rest of the day to do what you want (this is only at the weekend or maybe an hour in the evening)
My husband is really supportive and only has the occasional winge.
I would state the alternatives, give him some options. Then if he agrees that childminding is the better option then ask him to help/support you in it.
People are all so different, the talking/discussing may not work for you but it will for some. I do try and do little jobs as and when. Yesterday while the lo were eating I cleaned the bottom of my fridge:clapping:clapping: (Just the bottom though) Something I've meaning to do for ages. I do make quick phonecalls/send a quick email when they are settled. If you have mindees that all sleep at the same time, use this time to do a bigger job. I know there are times when all I want to do is sit down and chill but I feel better knowing I have done something productive.
I am a list maker. I list everything I need to do and look at it when I have a spare few mins, the same with cleaning. I list all the little jobs, I also hand this to my husband and he gets to pick which one he wants to do. It may sound like I treat him like a child but he doesnt think about what needs to be done I do have to tell him.
Good luck. I hope it all gets easier for you. I'm sure it will it will just take time.
A big hug xxxx

[merry]

[QUOTE=Mookins;718547]
but it soundsto me like whatever you do you cant win....
personally from your posts id say the bloke is a pig and you deserve a bit of bloomin respect!
QUOTE]

Im glad to see someone else thinking the same as me, he sounds like a spoilt child wanting everything all his own way and no compromise or thought for anyone but himself. I'd agree with putting the ball in his court and asking him what he thinks a better solution would be. Or else smile, make sympathetic noises and get on with things the way you see fit anyway.

:)

[Bitsy Beans]

We argue (when mindees aren't there), because he no longer has the time to watch his programmes on the telly as I feel they are unappropreaiate.
The noise level, the fact that he feels he can't relax once in from work or going out to work.
The amount of toys etc etc the list could go on and on. He doesn't do a night shift thankfully.

I have already resorted to finding mums and tots, childminder groups etc on every morning so that when he is on afternoons he has the house to himself. But I feel every time i do something to try and improve it makes matter worse and it no longer feels like home and he shouldn't have to go into a bedroom to watch the telly.

I would be asking since you've tried to accomodate him and compromise why can't he? At the end of the day what else is he suggesting? Not point whinging about the situation if you haven't got a helpful solution for the issues that bother you.

I am suprised with children of his own he's not used to more toys and general mess. As for complaining about not being able to watch stuff on his TV - well he wasn't in a position to before you had your son so not sure why this is such a big issue all of a sudden.
TBH it smacks of being a spoilt brat because he can't have everything his own way and perhaps punishing you for not being available for wait on him hand and foot?

Honestly would he rather he had NO house to come home to as that's the alternative if you don't work to pay the bills :rolleyes:

[miss mopple]

Its so hard trying to find a way to compromise sometimes. My DH used to work shifts (still does occasionally) and I really felt we had to tiptoe around him at times, although he was never affected by the noise the kids made once asleep luckily ( we had our loft converted and so we sleep 2 floors up which really helped).

The hardest time for him was when he woke in the afternoon and wanted to come down and chill/ eat etc. I tried to ensure that the children were out of his space as much as possible, either by us being at groups or just being out playing in the garden. He knows that we need the money I bring in so he has had to find a way to work with me on it too over the years.

We've jiggled the house round so my dining room is now my playroom and that has helped too as the kids use that mainly so the lounge isnt full of toys.

If he wanted to watch tv he had to do it upstairs but that didnt really worry him

I would sit your OH down and really talk to him to try to find a way you can work together so everyone is happy as its such a hard job of you dont have a supportive partner

good luck
xx

[vickieford85]

Thank you all for your kind words and support.
Sorry I have had not been able to reply sooner but it has been a weekend of solid fighting.
As I stated last time and someone else has pointed out it was just the tip if the iceburg oh a rather larger problem.

We have as of last night separated, which is a huge relief off my shoulders and now I have one less child to run round after.

Thank you all once again for taking the time to read my post.

xxx

[Pipsqueak]

I am sorry to hear that you and your partner have split, however if it makes you happy (happier in the long run) then it was the right thing to do.


Sending you a huge hug - we are all here to support you if you need us - for minding and personal - we are pretty darned good at that!!!

[rharrison43140]

Sorry to hear you've separated. Sending *big hugs* your way. :group hug: Really wish you all the best and hope that things get better for you. Remember we're all here if you need to chat or vent. :) xxx

[Mookins]

hunny i am so sorry to hear this, but just from your post it sounds like you are fairly happy about the situation..im sorry for my abrupt post but he was making me savage and ive never met him

sending you big hugs hun

x x x

[The Juggler]

sorry to hear that hon:( hope you are ok.

[kindredspirits]

sorry to hear that you have split up - sometimes its just something that is the straw that breaks the camels back -- there's always the chance that he could grow up and realise what he's missing in a few weeks. :rolleyes: Men! :angry:

[miss mopple]

Im sorry its come to this. Hope you can move on and be happy now xx

[Blue Boy]

So sorry to hear the sad news.:( I know it is no help but things will get better honest! You have loads of friends on this forum who will help you through it. Take care

[MarpleJollytots]

Oh no, where are you from ?:(

[angiemog]

Oh I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you start to feel happier soon and that you get all you deserve out of life. xxx

[WibbleWobble]

i am sorry to read about what happened. It does worry me this might happen to us but...i cant really afford to not do it. We are so in debt it makes my hair stand on end.

My OH so far has been great but you never know with men. he has no kids of his own and even though mine are grown up i still know what having kids is all about. So far so good though.




mandy xxxxxx

[estrelas]

Thank you all for your kind words and support.
Sorry I have had not been able to reply sooner but it has been a weekend of solid fighting.
As I stated last time and someone else has pointed out it was just the tip if the iceburg oh a rather larger problem.

We have as of last night separated, which is a huge relief off my shoulders and now I have one less child to run round after.

Thank you all once again for taking the time to read my post.

xxx

Just sending hugs
Hope you are ok xx

I know your new on here but its the best place to come for support, everyones lovely.

[Carol M]

So sorry to hear you have split.
Hope you are ok.
Hugs
Carol x

[Jelly Baby]

My husband is very supportive despite not really liking children as such..(has none of his own but took on my dd when she was a few weeks old and she is now 11 so?!).
Anyway he works shifts and comes home to children most of the time and tbh retreats up to our room and watches the tv or goes on the laptop, he has to help more as house is manic but he is fine about it.
Like others have said he loves the money i bring in so doubt he will ever say no to it!

Edit so sorry didnt see the last post..hope you are ok x

[Jayse74]

Im 100% supportive of my other half with regards to being a childminder. I wasnt always like this mind, years ago I was dead against her running this kind of thing from home but over time I softened to the idea and one day just decided I was being pigheaded about it so backed down. I am also her assistant aswell so I help out as much as possible.

[Rubybubbles]

Thank you all for your kind words and support.
Sorry I have had not been able to reply sooner but it has been a weekend of solid fighting.
As I stated last time and someone else has pointed out it was just the tip if the iceburg oh a rather larger problem.

We have as of last night separated, which is a huge relief off my shoulders and now I have one less child to run round after.

Thank you all once again for taking the time to read my post.

xxx


:( hope your okay hun sending big hugs and at least you don't need to worry about what he has to say now;)