A Newbie needed advice with eating problems!!!

[vickieford85]

Hi all,

I am new to this site and fairly new to childminding. I have been reg since jan of this year.

Basically I have a little girl who is in my care and has never been the best of eaters, however the past month is has gotten awful. Forcing herself to be sick, full on temper tantrums.

I feel I have tried every trick in the book, putting her to bed, putting her on the step, hot food, cold food, her helping make lunch, making the lunch look colourful, parents bringing in packed lunch, ignoring her for 45 minutes, No snacks or milk in the mornings.

It is really starting to effect the other 2 children within my care, as well as myself. I am starting to dread the days this child comes because it is really getting me down.

She is a lovely child in everything else but turns into a devil at this time.

I have spoken to parents regarding this matter, they responce was that she has never been a lunch eater even as a baby. So am I suppose to not feed her then???

Please before I have to let this child go, is there any advice you could give me?

Thanks all in advance

Vickie

[green puppy]

I have a mindee who can be difficult at mealtimes, he actually eats better with me now than at home. Some children eat very little but there is no point trying to force them or punishing them if they don't want it. Turning it into an issue just makes things worse. If the parents have told you she is not a lunch eater then don't stress yourself trying. Offer a small portion of lunch and if she doesn't eat it just take it away. Make a note in her diary so parents are aware, perhaps offer a snack after her sleep if she has one. It can be tough but stick with it. Good luck. How old is she by the way?

[vickieford85]

She is 2.5 years old, can you tell haha.
My issue is the fact that it is effected the other 2 mindees now though, they are getting very upset by her actions, I have chosen to blank her during meal times and take it away once we have all finished but she just has a temper tantrum for ignoring her.
I feel as if I am in a lose/ lose situation, and I then end up with 3 children all sobbing.

[sfox2003]

Ive not been minding very long & have had a couple of little ones with this kind of eating problem. I think the key is to not make a big deal of it.

Theres one rule in this house - no lunch/tea then no pudding. If a child wont eat, i persist for a little while, offering my focus to the other children. I try a few times to encourage. But if they still wont eat. I let them leave the table once everyone has finished & I give the other their pudding.

No point forcing it. I have a lo at the moment whos not a big eater. So I just pop it in his book. I will offer snack in the afternoon still to a child who didnt eat lunch, but I WILL NOT give pudding after theyve refused a meal.

I wouldnt worry about it.

[vickieford85]

She is 2 and half.
The problem is the tantrums having such effect on the 2 other children. I ignore and she screams and screams and screams and then I am left with 3 children upset.

[youarewhatyoueat]

Relax and don't stress about it. Get the parents to do a healthy lunch box, offer it and leave them to it. If they don't want it pack it away.
Offer a healthy snack mid morning and afternoon to everyone. You really can't do anymore, and you really don't want to create an issue where food is involved.

[caz3007]

I have always taken a relaxed stance with food with my own children and my mindies. If they are hungry they will eat, if they arent they wont. If then dont eat the 'good for you' stuff then they dont get pudding. If they will eat fruit, then they have that.

I actually find my difficult ones eat better if I just put the plate infront of them and then make myself busy and not take any notice of what they are eating. If she eats brekkie and tea, then I always think 2 meals a day is good.

[mushpea]

This sounds exactly like the little boy i look after,, hes 3.5yrs old and used to make himself sick too,, it turns out after a lot of discusion and probing with the parent that he eats loads (far too much really) for breakfast so at lunch time is just not hungry enough,,, each lunch time i ask him if he would like lunch, if he says then i give him a small amount if he says no then i sit him at the table with his juice and he just sits and waits for everyone else to eat theirs. I see no point in giving him lunch if he's going to throw it back up or if hes just not hungry, its not cruel because he has the choice and is happy to sit and watch the others, never complains or says he wants what they've got so i know hes really not hungry. I also spoke to the parents about the amount of breakfast he has and how much he should be havin which does seem to have helped.

[funemnx]

I've only just got 1 of mine to start eating again (he's 18m). We had full on tantrums as soon as he saw the food. Me and his mum tried all sorts, getting ourselves in a tizzy trying get him to eat! He stopped eating sandwiches for lunch and barely touched his cooked dinner but still ate the yogurt and fruit afterwards.

I googled 'my toddler won't eat' and most of the advice was to offer the food but not to try to make him eat. If he screamed when it was offered, to take the food away and take him from the table. Act unconcerned and stay calm. Also that children's growing slows down at certain ages and they need less food. Is the child a healthy weight?

Easier said than done! After a few weeks, he did start to eat a bit more and even if he hadn't, what helped me most was that I wasn't stressed now that I'd given up trying to make him eat. He's back to eating a sandwich at lunch now (sometimes I cheat and give him one in his hand to eat in the car on the way back from toddlers :eek:)

[Fabby]

This thread is very interesting to read! I am new to childminding and my 23 month mindee is also not eating much at all at lucnh times. I am, well was, really concerned until i read this thread. She will eat breakfast - toast or wheatabix at the mo, fruit, breadsticks, raisins in the morning and then have either crumpets, sandwich, crackers etc for afternoon snack. Maybe i should cut out the mid-morning snack or offer it earlier in the morning instead of the later part of the morning.

[green puppy]

Mine don't have a mid morning snack as breakfast is usually about 8.30am once they have all arrived and lunch is around 11.45-12.00. Toddlers have small stomachs and usually a portion size is about a quarter of ours. As long as the parents know what is happening then there is nothing more to do. Make sure you give lots of praise constantly to the other mindees when they eat nicely/well. This often encourages the fussy ones to eat. The tantrums are a tricky one if it upsets the others. Telling mine that the sooner they stop crying and eat a little the quicker they can go and play seems to work! Mine also love stickers, so this also works.

[vickieford85]

Thank you all for your advice, I shall enqiure from mum how much breakfast she is eating also keep going with the no morning snack and even try her with the no lunch see how it works.

Thanks again
Vickie