View Full Version : how do you deal with.....
a child who will not do anything?
i have a 3 year old mindee and he will not do any activity, hates being dirty/wet/muddy/sticky, wont paint or draw incase he gets pen/paint on himself :panic:
even planting sunflower seeds he refused to do anything with the soil, and it took a few go's at getting him to push the seed into the soil and cos it hit his finger he freaked, making easter cards, all he had to do was crumple up tissue paper and pop it onto the sticky part of the card and he struggled with that too (and he didnt need to touch the sticky part!!!)
i'm competely stumped :blush:
he is happy coming here, and is very socialble, loves to mix with the other kids and will happily free play all day
i feel bad when the other kids go home with artwork and this lil boy doesnt.
i have him and his little sister today, i said we could go to the park but he wont incase he gets muddy :panic:
francinejayne
22-05-2010, 02:07 PM
I would just carry on doing the activities with the other children, making sure that there is a space for him at the table, that he has his own plant pot ready for if he wants it, etc. If he chooses to join in then great, if not I would still involve him by talking to him, asking him questions, making comments about the other children ("isn't Henry's picture nice? would you like to do one now or would you like to carry on watching?").
In time he may become curious enough to try it, if not then if he's happy enough watching and playing with other toys then I would just carry on as you are.
Another thought, maybe having a cloth to wipe his hands on straight away, or him wearing gloves may help him to pluck up the courage to try?
Also, will he eat with his hands? Maybe you could provide food to do just that so he has to use his hands for something, and may be this may give him confidence to branch out?
oooh no he wont touch his food with his hands unless he has to, he'd much rather use a knife and fork.
i asked him this morning if he'd like to draw a picture for his mum and he says no she wont like it :panic:
Cammie Doodle
22-05-2010, 04:03 PM
oooh no he wont touch his food with his hands unless he has to, he'd much rather use a knife and fork.
i asked him this morning if he'd like to draw a picture for his mum and he says no she wont like it :panic:
Mmm this tells me it could be Mum that does not like the mess:rolleyes: and has passed this onto her boy, maybe he is worried Mummy will be upset if there is a mess . Just a thought
Mmm this tells me it could be Mum that does not like the mess:rolleyes: and has passed this onto her boy, maybe he is worried Mummy will be upset if there is a mess . Just a thought
yes most definatly
i have been told by people who know the family about his life at home, and yes very odd but not worrying if you know what i mean?
this lil boy told me totally out of blue that he doesnt like having his face painted, i have never done that here so have no idea where it came from :( :blush:
oh and i had a word with his nursery teacher and he is the same there too :( :(
jellybean cc
22-05-2010, 04:59 PM
How is he dressed when he comes to you?
i used to work in a nursery and we had a mum who hated mess and her daughter was much like this little boy. She was always dressed perfect. In the end we had a chat with mum and she agreed to buy some causal cloths that stayed at nursery. We would change her each morning into her nursery cloths and back into her home cloths at night. We washed them so mummy never saw them. This did start to improve things as she saw these as messy cloths and liked the fact her mummy would never see them if they got messy. She was 4. It still took time but it was one worry removed for the child
he is dressed casual, and always has a change of clothes as he goes to nursery in the afternoon and changes into his uniform,
mum sends him in casual clothes so he gat play without worrying about his uniform :)
KarenM
22-05-2010, 06:00 PM
How about sticky back plastic? In the past when I've had a child that doesn't like mess, they have enjoyed this as there is no glue involved and nothing to get messy from. Just peel the backing off and fix it to either a table or a paper frame, then let him stick the collage materials on. Also shaving foam under cling film is good fun. No mess but still the squidgy texture.
How about sticky back plastic? In the past when I've had a child that doesn't like mess, they have enjoyed this as there is no glue involved and nothing to get messy from. Just peel the backing off and fix it to either a table or a paper frame, then let him stick the collage materials on. Also shaving foam under cling film is good fun. No mess but still the squidgy texture.
thats what the easter card crafts were like, and he couldnt get down from the table quick enough :panic:
sweets
22-05-2010, 06:09 PM
what about giving him his own pack of wipes to keep with him, it may just reassure him that he can clean his hands when doing anything messy.
may work!
KarenM
22-05-2010, 06:12 PM
Is there anything he really really enjoys? I was able to encourage a child to take part in painting by putting the cars in the paint, then likewise with gelli baff and sand. Can be a long haul but eventually he'll get there. What about chalks outdoors? Making treasure maps on the floor etc.?
no,
when he first started i asked his parents if he had a fave toy........ they said no :panic:
rachelle
22-05-2010, 09:28 PM
one of my own is like this (a lot better now so long as he knows when he can get clean/dry) He was diagnosed with sensory integration disorder which explained the not liking things on him etc etc
All you can do really is go with it, will he join in with gloves on? Sometimes a change of clothes before the activity helps, so he knows there is something clean and his to put on afterwards, sometimes having a packet of 'help yourself' wipes next to him helps, a napkin to hold food in is a help here, a shaving brush to paint with and a cloth to hold it with....
It can be very draining though - hope he accepts some mess soon..
Rx