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emmadines
20-05-2010, 05:34 PM
I have him the whole day, I don't mind. I have said to mum that its no point him playing and having fun..... so we have both agreed that he will have some homework from school and spend the day doing that! the only prob is I have made plans to spend time with my little girl with some friends at the local country park. would you say it be fair to just take the work with us and let him get on with it????

what would you do? cancel going out with my DD??

Pipsqueak
20-05-2010, 05:37 PM
take the work with you. i would perhaps allow him a little 10 minute break here and there:)

emmadines
20-05-2010, 05:38 PM
take the work with you. i would perhaps allow him a little 10 minute break here and there:)

yeah thats what I was planning

huggableshelly
20-05-2010, 05:39 PM
I say take it with you too

little_gems
20-05-2010, 07:33 PM
i'd explian to mum. I'm sure she'll understand. i'd just carry on with my plans.

Hebs
20-05-2010, 08:12 PM
did you know it is iegal to take a suspended child out and about during school hours?

just thought you'd might want to know :blush:

i wouldnt take a suspended child for care, the whole point is for it to be an inconvience to parents to get them to deal with the behaviour that led to the suspension

Pipsqueak
20-05-2010, 08:15 PM
oh I didn't know that hebs

Hebs
20-05-2010, 08:20 PM
oh I didn't know that hebs

yeah

it states.......

•your duty during the first five days of any exclusion to ensure that your child is not present in a public place during normal school hours, whether in the company of a parent or not

taken from the direct.gov website :thumbsup:

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/Schoolslearninganddevelopment/YourChildsWelfareAtSchool/DG_4016112

Tired
20-05-2010, 08:22 PM
Why is it illegal? It seems a bit of overkill.
He is suspended from school, not under house arrest!

Surley they can't expect everyone to change thier plans cos 1 child has behaved badly.

Hebs
20-05-2010, 08:25 PM
Why is it illegal? It seems a bit of overkill.
He is suspended from school, not under house arrest!

Surley they can't expect everyone to change thier plans cos 1 child has behaved badly.

because he is suspended for bad behaviour, taking him (or her) out and about is almost like encouraging him to misbehave at school,

you are teaching them.... be naughty, get suspended, stay off have fun.......

why is that overkill???

wendywu
20-05-2010, 08:28 PM
Why was mindee suspended and how old are they, as a matter of interest :)

Pipsqueak
20-05-2010, 08:29 PM
given what you have pointed out Hebs - I see the reasoning behind it.
but in this instance - why should the minder have to suffer - perhaps the OP should tell the parent that they will have to have them at home for that time as they shouldn't be wrecking their own childs day out

Hebs
20-05-2010, 08:32 PM
given what you have pointed out Hebs - I see the reasoning behind it.
but in this instance - why should the minder have to suffer - perhaps the OP should tell the parent that they will have to have them at home for that time as they shouldn't be wrecking their own childs day out

thats why i said as a childminder i wouldn't take a suspended child for childcare, maybe mum needs to stay at home and deal with the issues that caused the suspension :thumbsup:

Ripeberry
20-05-2010, 08:53 PM
Hebs does have a point. Suspension is punishement for the child and the parents it seems.
If parents lose money because of their children's misbehaviour, they may deal more effectively with the child.
I would cancel if I was you or stay in all day, which is a pity with such nice weather.
If mum starts moaning then show her the statement on the website and say that you would be needing double time fees to make up for the inconvenience.

I don't know why suspended kids can't go to some kind of 'special' school for the week?

emmadines
20-05-2010, 09:01 PM
mum is trying her damndest to deal with him, but is hitting a brick wall, mindee has a very firecracker temper and his way of dealing with it is to try to get out of school, its only been this last two weeks hes acted this way, normally is is like your average 8 year old. mums at breaking point and we think hes trying to get more attention off of her, so we are trying it another rout, Im going to have him and next time collect him if it happens again, and sit with him and do school work or attend to my youngest while hes at the table.
mindee is in no way going to be having fun nor mixing with the other children while they are playing.. the school are giving him work to continue in the mean time. .. It not ideal but shes at a loss as to what to do.. any suggestions???

Hebs
20-05-2010, 09:01 PM
remember suspension is always a last resort, if all else has failed to recetify the behaviour :thumbsup:

emmadines
20-05-2010, 09:02 PM
Hebs does have a point. Suspension is punishement for the child and the parents it seems.
If parents lose money because of their children's misbehaviour, they may deal more effectively with the child.
I would cancel if I was you or stay in all day, which is a pity with such nice weather.
If mum starts moaning then show her the statement on the website and say that you would be needing double time fees to make up for the inconvenience.

I don't know why suspended kids can't go to some kind of 'special' school for the week?

its also not fair that my own daughter misses out playing with her friends.

emmadines
20-05-2010, 09:03 PM
remember suspension is always a last resort, if all else has failed to recetify the behaviour :thumbsup:

hes only been suspended for tomorrow as far as Im aware he will be back on Monday as the norm.

Hebs
20-05-2010, 09:04 PM
mum is trying her damndest to deal with him, but is hitting a brick wall, mindee has a very firecracker temper and his way of dealing with it is to try to get out of school, its only been this last two weeks hes acted this way, normally is is like your average 8 year old. mums at breaking point and we think hes trying to get more attention off of her, so we are trying it another rout, Im going to have him and next time collect him if it happens again, and sit with him and do school work or attend to my youngest while hes at the table.
mindee is in no going to be having fun nor mixing with the other children while they are playing.. the school are giving him work to continue in the mean time. .. It not ideal but shes at a loss as to what to do.. any suggestions???

i know it's hard as my friend is going through the same with her 15 year old daughter, but mum really needs to (with help and support) to get this lad back on track, cos if she cant deal with his behaviour now at 8 years old how is she going to cope when you add in hormones and peer pressure from friends when he hits his teens??

get her to ring supernanny? :laughing:

Hebs
20-05-2010, 09:05 PM
its also not fair that my own daughter misses out playing with her friends.

so dont have him, it is not your responsibility to deal with it, your own child is your responsibility

Hebs
20-05-2010, 09:07 PM
hes only been suspended for tomorrow as far as Im aware he will be back on Monday as the norm.

thats great but still is besides the point, there will have been ongoing issues with this child that the school now feel they can no longer deal with, suspension is really a last resort, and what will you do if this continues, if you have him once, you will find it very hard to say no in the future when he's suspended for a week or so at a time :panic:

Ripeberry
20-05-2010, 09:13 PM
Didn't they used to have schools for suspended children? Or was that years ago?

wendywu
20-05-2010, 09:13 PM
so dont have him, it is not your responsibility to deal with it, your own child is your responsibility

I agree with this. I would not have him because in my case i would not be able to take my mindees to toddlers or CM group as we are not allowed to take older children. So why should my mindees suffer and in your case your daughter.:panic:

emmadines
20-05-2010, 09:19 PM
thats great but still is besides the point, there will have been ongoing issues with this child that the school now feel they can no longer deal with, suspension is really a last resort, and what will you do if this continues, if you have him once, you will find it very hard to say no in the future when he's suspended for a week or so at a time :panic:

tomorrow was pretty much a joint choice... Ive had no dealings with this before and she is doing all she possibly can, the parents are divorcing and dads pretty much a "Ill be there if it fits in" so i do wonder if its trailing back from his mum and dad splitting up as back then he didnt take to it very well... I wont be allowing this all the time this is just a one off, but also (no matter how selfish this may seem, if mum cant work due to this and it dont get sorted, then Id need to find another job ad all my minded kiddies are from the same family) the odd occasion really doesn't bother me, i intent to make the day more boring then ha can imagine... we have work sheets from the teacher and the relevant equipment to use. the work will be given in the morning and is expected to be taken back in by 3pm..

Hebs
20-05-2010, 09:32 PM
thats your decision at the end of the day, but i wouldn't be going out with him as you would be the one to be fined for doing so :panic:

Cazz
20-05-2010, 11:58 PM
Hebs you're a mine of valuable information!! I never realised that it's illegal to take a suspended child out in public but it does make sense. You could quite easily be approached by a police officer (or I think there's specialist people who are out and about looking for truants?) and asked why he's not at school.

I think I would have been reluctant to mind him as well (even staying at home) as has been said, it's the parents responsibility and the inconvenience should be theirs - not a childminders.

mandy moo
21-05-2010, 07:08 AM
When my son was suspended for the day, His headteacher gave him enough work to do to last the whole day,
Last the whole day it did, belive me! We started at 9am i gave him a 15min break midmorning, 1 hour for lunch and a another 15mins in the afternoon,
It took us all day to complete, and most of the time I was sitting with him helping.
Will you be able to do this? if he has the same amount of work given to him?
what about your daughter, to be honest, if he has the same work load, you wont be spending much time with her or any other mindee you may have.
I know you feel sorry for the mum et etc but in my humble opinion, as parents we need to deal with our children, when their behaviour is challenging, not dump them on someone else to deal with and I personally think one of his parents should be doing it, not you.
As I say this was my experience, no offence intended.

emmadines
21-05-2010, 07:15 AM
i have no other mindees during the day so thats not a problem, so I aready arragned to meet with a group (normal friday activity) he will sit with me while he works. and I will watch my DD while she playes witht he other kids...

rickysmiths
21-05-2010, 07:55 AM
i have no other mindees during the day so thats not a problem, so I aready arragned to meet with a group (normal friday activity) he will sit with me while he works. and I will watch my DD while she playes witht he other kids...

I must say I agree with Hebs on this one. I sympathise with the childs parents but they should be having him at home today. That surely is the whole point of the suspension? Lets face it being a parent isn't convienient at the best of times is it but it is all part of parenting.

The mere fact he is coming to your house is lightening the issue and to be going out as well, although he will be doing work, well he has won hasn't he. No school and a lovely day out in the park and if he pushes how hard is it going to be for you to insist he works all day if he decides he doesn't want to? Do you buy him an ice cream when the others have one? I feel it kinda defeats the point of the suspension.

Sorry to be frank, if Hebs is right about the legalities of taking a suspended child out then I would cancel the arrangements for today and stay at home if you are working with the parents or I would refuse to have him. I wouldn't risk being caught and the consequences. :o

emmadines
21-05-2010, 08:02 AM
I must say I agree with Hebs on this one. I sympathise with the childs parents but they should be having him at home today. That surely is the whole point of the suspension? Lets face it being a parent isn't convienient at the best of times is it but it is all part of parenting.

The mere fact he is coming to your house is lightening the issue and to be going out as well, although he will be doing work, well he has won hasn't he. No school and a lovely day out in the park and if he pushes how hard is it going to be for you to insist he works all day if he decides he doesn't want to? Do you buy him an ice cream when the others have one? I feel it kinda defeats the point of the suspension.

Sorry to be frank, if Hebs is right about the legalities of taking a suspended child out then I would cancel the arrangements for today and stay at home if you are working with the parents or I would refuse to have him. I wouldn't risk being caught and the consequences. :o


although i understand what you are saying, he wont be having a lovely day at the park, nor would he be having ice cream.

Hebs
21-05-2010, 10:41 AM
but if you take him out even if he is doing work you are breaking the law, i wonder how Ofsted would view this?

i really not trying to have a go at you hun, just dont want you to end up in trouble to make life easier for mum and in the long run make it easier to ignore the issues that led to the suspension,

my own children have been through a breakdown in a relationship, and my son has adhd and doesnt deal with change very well at all but he has never ever even come close to being suspended. seems like the child knows how to manipulate those around him, including you now it so seems, as he has a day off school, on a lovely day (even if you do get him to do the work) when the rest of his class are stuck in a stuffy classroom........

sorry but to me this sends out all the wrong signals to him, and certainly is not going to help the situation, :huh:

cuffleygirl
21-05-2010, 11:42 AM
It is entirely up to you whether you have him or not - you are not contracted to have him during exclusion - if you choose not to then his parents will have solve the problem.

I have a mindee who is quite regularly excluded for one, three or five days at a time, he moved to his current school from a pupil referral unit. He has had some serious family emotional issues in his life. He is usually excluded for swearing at members of staff, or fighting. School have asked me on a couple of ocassions (with Dads permission) if I would collect him early to avoid exclusion as he appears to 'cool down' when he is with me - I have a conventional family home - something he craves. He can control his behaviour as in 18months he has NEVER sworn or behaved badly in my setting (I think he enjoys being with me and doesn't want to risk being given notice :blush: )

Initially when he was first excluded I had him, we did work together whilst little ones napped, we did go to activities for the little ones (not places of much interest to him) and he would sit with me - Dad would pay me.

We had a run of exclusions at the anniversary of a difficult time and frankly it was going to cost Dad a fortune, he spoke the school about it and the school asked me to invoice them directly :eek: They paid. I have to say I am pleased as it has focused the school as to dealing with his behaviour they are not more lenient but are better at spotting triggers and have now introduced a punishment which is my view alot better at detering his behaviour - an internal exclusion - he is in school but not allowed to mix with class mates. He has 1:1 full time funding anyway so he is not costing the system anymore and also he is not enjoying the sunshine! (another long weekend was one of his little sayings!)

I work with the school to manage his behaviour, and attend some of the meetings as his childcare provider (I attend more than Dad!) which in my view is the real problem! Not one I can solve!

I have to say also he is the most rewarding one that I can for as I know I am needed (by him) and I am achieving something - the exclusions are much less. And for the future, if I want to work within the school, I am building relationships with the staff and the headteacher too.

I

gigglinggoblin
21-05-2010, 11:43 AM
I didnt know it was illegal to take them out, my son has been suspended lots and I have always taken him to playdates etc with the work. I dont think I would take a minded child for a suspension day however because its not a lot of fun and if it does happen again I will probably rethink now.

I dont agree with sitting with them to help with the work. My son loves one to one and has a fab time if you do that, so much nicer than school! When he has pushed it and said he cant do the work I just tell him to do what he can and if he runs out he can copy out the dictionary.

Be very careful how this affects your dd aswell, she will be watching to see if this boy is getting lots of attention and (depending on her age of course) might view being suspended as a good thing. The problem is if he starts shouting and making a nuisance of himself can you ignore him? If he has a temper that bad can you ignore that? Will it be safe to do so? Or will you be sitting with him all day so he gets your attention and your dd doesnt? I am not ranting (I hope you havent taken it that way) I just think it might help if you have thought through the worst possible scenario and how you will deal with it. When my son has been suspended it has been a lot of work.

emmadines
21-05-2010, 03:11 PM
well alls done, I showed him what he needed to do work wise and he did it, I dealt with him when he was stuck and unsure what to do. other then that he sat there and did his work. didn't have any treatment specific to one to one other then the above times. He attended to his schoolwork continuously through out the day and had one break for lunch... the teachers are happy with the work he did.

This is only a one off to help the parents, I wont be able to have him a whole week, Im really not worried what ofsted say about the excluded mindee, I have done what I thought was right for both my family and the mindee and his mum... I understand what you are saying and in no way does he think he it was a reward. the other children were playing nicely and enjoying sweets and a cake (along with a healthy lunch beforehand)

bekki0405
21-05-2010, 04:46 PM
so dont have him, it is not your responsibility to deal with it, your own child is your responsibility

I agree with you I'm afraid. I wouldn't take a suspended child, and ask the parent to arrange the care themselves. Of course the charge for his usual time would stand.
I also agree with the earlier comment abou this lad needing support. There maybe more going on with this lad than we realise? I still think his Mum is the correct person to spend the day with him though

gigglinggoblin
21-05-2010, 06:06 PM
well done emma, glad it went well.