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View Full Version : Intresting Dilemma - Mum obviously pregnant but hasnt told me!



dobby
17-05-2010, 07:40 PM
I have a little girl 14 mths who comes 3 and a half days. Over the last 2 months it has become more noticable that mums tum is getting bigger and rounder - she is a slim built lady so not hard to notice tbh. My own DD has even asked me when is Fs mum having her baby :rolleyes:

A couple of times recently she has arrived late and appearing very tired and dishevelled - you know, just like when you are pregnant and everything is an effort - this is a woman who was originally very impeccably dressed and always punctual.

She has arrived on 2 or 3 occaisiions recently with a noticably rounded bump - the warmer weather making it more obvious as no cardis or jackets.

BUT SHE HASNT SAID A WORD !:huh:

I have never been one to ask someone outright if they are pregnant as I would be scared stiff to get it wrong but this is soo obvious even I cannot keep telling DD how its possible she just has put on a bit of weight like my big tum :blush:

I have given her plenty of opportunities. She is often the only one here due to dropping off differant times and even sits down for up to 20 mins so its not like she hasnt had chances to mention it?!

She mentioned today how DD is getting clingy so i even said "oh they often sense when there are changes happening at home" no response. We even talked about future brothers and sisters last month in relation to something else and another of my parents had a baby who we went to see and nothing?

Thing is I have a vacancy coming up soo as one of my other charges is starting school. I am getting enquiries from parents of babies but at presnet would not take them on as I already have 2 under 2's

But if her LO is leaving in say Autumn due to maternity leave then I WOULD persure these enquiries as I would be able to manage them.

So starting to get a bit fed up with the secrecy now.

Unless she thinks she has told me in pregnancy forgetfulness :D

any advice folks?:D

Hebs
17-05-2010, 07:42 PM
get your daughter to ask her when the baby will be born :D :thumbsup:

sonia ann
17-05-2010, 07:43 PM
I'm wondering if she thinks she has told you already................I think you are going to have to ask her outright:)

vix84
17-05-2010, 07:49 PM
Are you sure she hasnt quite reached the 12/13 week mark yet? Im 15 weeks and only announced at 14 weeks but had a tum much earlier but had to announce when the weather warmed up, but sure people guessed from 10 weeks!


I also miscarried previously at 12 weeks, and fell pregnant the month after, so all in all could have looked that 'tired pregnant look' for 25 weeks before announcing ifuswim.

Its a tricky one, maybe ask if she knows of her future plans ........ towards end of the year as you are having enquiries and wondered if she is happy with the childcare and will be keeping child here? If she is pregnant and thought shed mentioned it, then surely shell mention her plans, or if she is but hasnt announced yet, then shell figure youve cottoned on.
And if she isnt, then shell think your mad lol

PRINCESSDAISYFLOWER
17-05-2010, 07:51 PM
tell her someone in your setting has had chicken pox's and its dangerous for pregnant women and if there is any chance she could be preg she should talk to the docs. Say your giving the warning to all the mums

FizzysFriends
17-05-2010, 08:29 PM
get your daughter to ask her when the baby will be born :D :thumbsup:

Thats what I do when I want to ask someone a question I can't bring myself to ask directly :blush:

dobby
17-05-2010, 08:51 PM
Lol hebs my daughter is more likely to say "My Mum wants to know" or "My mum asked me to ask you if ya pregnant" :eek: :laughing:

Its terrble now as I find myself drawn to staring at her tummy to decide one way or the other! :D I know it would be awful if it turned out she wasnt but honestly she looks between 4 to 6 months gone!

I think I will say about the enquiries I have been getting and see if she says anything. I would just hate to be wrong though!:blush:

I was hoping she would come tonight as other childs mum has no shame and would have asked outright but dad collected instead damm:laughing:

The Juggler
18-05-2010, 06:28 AM
i think I'd be honest and say, look I can't help but notice you're looking a tad pregnant - is there something you'd like to tell me:laughing: :laughing:

huggableshelly
18-05-2010, 06:39 AM
I would ask my daughter to to ask too but she would also say, Mom wants to know when your baby will be born!

I know its frustrating but as others have said she probably thinks she has already told you, you say she is usually well dressed and organised but now she is untimely, its amazing what hormones do to a person.

miffy
18-05-2010, 06:50 AM
I think you need to pluck up courage and ask her yourself - you'll be very fed up if you have turned away work only to find you are losing this lo because mum is pregnant.

Good luck

Miffy xx

AnnieM
18-05-2010, 06:54 AM
Maybe she is thinking of not returning to work after having the baby and daren't tell you in case it spoils the rest of the time you have left with the other lo? I only say this as that exact thing happened with me once, many years ago. I asked in the end as it became glaringly obvious and she then burst into tears and said she had been frightened to tell me as she was scared she would lose her place for the lo I was already looking after, :eek: I had honestly thought she knew me better than that and as it turned out after her maternity leave she decided to go back to work part time as she was going 'stir crazy' stuck in the house with 2 kids. :thumbsup: Don't want to worry you, but it could be a similar thing. I would just ask her as you need to know for future enquiries. :)

breezy
18-05-2010, 07:55 PM
Could be wind :D

sonia ann
18-05-2010, 07:59 PM
Could be wind :D

you would know.........so I've heard;)

Mookins
18-05-2010, 08:18 PM
id have to ask?!
either that or say gosh are you poorly you dont look so sharp

x x x

Daftbat
18-05-2010, 08:43 PM
All you can do is be straight with her and ask what she plans to do. What's the worst that could happen - and to be honest she probably DOES think you already know. I am sure she would appreciate knowing the situation re places in the future and you are afterall running a business and you need to know!

Ripeberry
18-05-2010, 09:47 PM
I had something similar a few months ago myself. My mindee was about 15 months at the time and I had a feeling that the mum was pregnant but wanted to get past the 12 week stage to be safe.
The Dad blurted it out to me one pick up time and I said to him "I had a feeling, but would give her time to tell me"
Baby is due in about 7 weeks time :)

mandy moo
19-05-2010, 10:17 AM
Lol, at Breezy, could it be water retention, gall stones or something more, and for want of a better word, sinister..?

sfox2003
19-05-2010, 11:28 AM
She may not be as far on as you are assuming. I had a similar dilema. But mindee was 5 years old & knew his mum was pregnant. But mum didnt tell me, eventually I told her t**** had told me she had a baby in her tummy. And her reply was 'oh yeah, well Im only 11 weeks, not had my first scan yet'.

I showed by 7 weeks with all my children. Some people show early. The mum in my situation was going to tell me after her first scan once she knew everything was ok. Shes very shy though & not one to chat about herself.

Ive just realised Im not really giving you any advise here am I? Sorry. Not sure what I would do, probably just ask! But only if you're 110% sure shes got a pregnant bump.

Good Luck

Ticktoria
19-05-2010, 11:37 AM
I suffer from recurrent miscarriage and virtually as soon as I concieve I get a tummy :eek: and obviously because I have had problems carrying I wouldn't tell anyone for weeks and weeks. But I don't think I'd have a problem with a Childminder asking afterall your income is affected.

dobby
09-06-2010, 08:51 AM
Morning folks - Just thought you might like an update - she came in this morning with HUGE very obviously pregnant bump - actually had trouble squeezing past her lo's pushchair:D

Still never said a thing -so I said "erm, HOW are you?" she then looked a bit sheepish and replied "oh fine, I'm pregnant by the way".

Noooo really :laughing:

Got out that she is due beginning of Nov but nothing about future plans so will need to tackle this next. Have had alot of enquiries recently for September starts which is prob too early but would consider 3 under 2s if only for a few weeks :rolleyes:

Millenium
09-06-2010, 09:08 AM
Don't assume that she will no longer want her older child minded. One of my mindees had a fortnight off whilst the baby brother was born and then he was straight back in my care. His brother then started when he was about 6 months.

moljak
09-06-2010, 09:44 AM
Just a thought but mum might not want to tell you so that she doesn't have to book your space pay a deposit or retainer.
She may think it's a safe bet that you can take on the new baby later on.It's risky on her part but if you start mentioning new mindees now this might shake her a bit.

Minstrel
09-06-2010, 07:17 PM
From the other side of it.....

She's only about 20 weeks and I waited until this time before telling my mindees families even though i had a bump.

This was because my husband and I wanted to wait until the anomaly scan to make sure everything was well before telling our sons and we definatly wanted our sons to be the first to know even if others around us guessed before then.