URGENT ADVICE PLEASE - Re biting mindee

[Tippy Toes]

Hello again

I have posted about this before and this is the latest;

Mindee has bit ANOTHER of my little ones on the face, this will be the 4th time in about three months!

Last time mindee bit (a little one really badly - about 3 wks ago.) I told the mother that if his behaviour did not improve I would have to terminate the contract.

Well like I said mindee has bit again this afternoon - What do I do?

I dont want this child being a risk to others in my care, I literally cannot take my eye off mindee for a second. Also I dont want this to damage my business. :mad:

I hate to say it but I dont know what Im going to do without the income either :blush:

Thanks for your help

[Blaze]

Follow your biting policy & if you have said that you will terminate if no improvement & there has been no improvment dispite your best efforts - then terminate (with / without immediate effect - depending on what was agreed regarding this issue). Juat make sure everything is fully documented, as you have to show you know how to deal with a range of behaviours, but you also have a duty of care to safeguard all the LO's in your care.

[Mookins]

as much as you need the money better to lose one than to possible lose all

x x x

[marzi]

I would terminate, yes you might struggle financially without this one mindee but what if the parent of the child being bitten decided to terminate then you'd still have the biter and still be worse off then he'll start biting the others and you may lose them too. If the parent has had warning this may happen then don't feel bad about it, at the end of the day the poor little one being bitten has to come first. HTH its what i'd do x

[Pipsqueak]

the thing is if this one mindee keeps taking chunks out of other minded children then you run the risk of losing the others. If the biter keeps biting other children outside of your setting - ie when you go to group/soft play etc - then people may start steering clear of you just to avoid the inevitable paperwork. Sorry that sounds harsh and I don't mean it to be.

You need to do what right for safey for the other children and whats right for you long term.

[Andrea08]

hi, But a lot of under 3's go through this ,, biting or hair pulling and its a communication thing... i have one now that bites and i make sure i dont leave him on his own with the LO's .. try stop it b4 it happens i say NO a lot when i notice he wants something others are playing with and give alternate toys .. the share time etc..

this child is not a bad child he just can't makle himself understood.. he see's what he wants and goes for it PSED.. dont give up on him/her build on his confidence and understanding of social development.. if he has to start at a new setting he will not get better

sorry i know its difficult there is information on this subject on the net just give it a bit more time and lots of effort hun and it could pay off

all the best with it but at the end of the day it is your choice xxxxx

[SYLVIA]

I have a LO who has bitten the same child 3 times. He was on his last chance but I have managed to change their days so they are not here together. First time was totally unprovoked and the next two times I don't think he even knew he had done it. He was so shocked. Its a horrible thing to deal with because it happens so quickly But I would of had to let him go if the situation hadnt changed. Its not fair on the others. Good luck

[barmouth]

My friend and I are both childminders and we help each other out, one of her mindees is a biter!! Touch wood she hasn't done it this week, but the previous 4 weeks she has bitten another little one at todd groups etc.... at least twice a week!! We have made her sit out of rest of group activity and no going on the trampoline. Hopefully she is now growing out of the habit!! All I say is don't give up it will pass. Good Luck

[catswhiskers]

I've looked after two biters (they were both around 2/2 and a half and it is just a phase. They will grow out of it and I don't think it is something to give notice for.

[suzyblue]

hi, But a lot of under 3's go through this ,, biting or hair pulling and its a communication thing... i have one now that bites and i make sure i dont leave him on his own with the LO's .. try stop it b4 it happens i say NO a lot when i notice he wants something others are playing with and give alternate toys .. the share time etc..

this child is not a bad child he just can't makle himself understood.. he see's what he wants and goes for it PSED.. dont give up on him/her build on his confidence and understanding of social development.. if he has to start at a new setting he will not get better

sorry i know its difficult there is information on this subject on the net just give it a bit more time and lots of effort hun and it could pay off

all the best with it but at the end of the day it is your choice xxxxx


I agree with this. Its a phase that they go through and when I have children going through this I make sure I keep an eye on them as much as possible. It does happen though (usually when your in the loo!) but I have never given notice because of this.

[Blaze]

Yes it is a phase the majority of children go through - but some are a lot worse than others...it can cost you your business & your reputation & cause a lot of stress (i have watched it happen to another minder & have had a fair amount of experience mysef) - so IMHO - you give it so long implementing your biting procedure - but if after a period of time you are still having biting issues & your other parents are getting humpy - then sometimes you have to give notice. It's not all about money either - you have a duty to safeguard all of the children in your care & if you have a LO that contantly bites despite your best efforts - then you are failing in your duty if you continue to care for that LO.

[Gherkin]

I cannot give you advice as to what to do. You have to do what is best for you and your business. Sorry cannot see how old the child is but biting can be an indication of something else going on with the child.

My dd has been biting recently (generally me and her brother) so I sought advice from the local early years team. Apparantly incidents of biting go up in the summer months - more skin on display. My dd is 4 and heading off to big school in Sept and we have narrowed the biting down to her anxiety about the transistion. We are doing very little talking about big school only bringing it up if she mentions it and if she mucks around in a way which indicates that she may bite we just ignore it (unless she actually makes to bite). She seems a lot calmer and isn't biting nearly as much.

[Curly Quavers]

I've looked after two biters (they were both around 2/2 and a half and it is just a phase. They will grow out of it and I don't think it is something to give notice for.

If it were my dd being bitten in the settling it would be a good enough reason for me to find an other childminder though :(

[The Juggler]

If it were my dd being bitten in the settling it would be a good enough reason for me to find an other childminder though :(

especially if they were being bitten on the face:(

[Tippy Toes]

Follow your biting policy & if you have said that you will terminate if no improvement & there has been no improvment dispite your best efforts - then terminate (with / without immediate effect - depending on what was agreed regarding this issue). Juat make sure everything is fully documented, as you have to show you know how to deal with a range of behaviours, but you also have a duty of care to safeguard all the LO's in your care.

These are exactly my thoughts and why I chose to terminate the contract, not only for the safeguard of the other children in my care but also the reputation of my business.