PDA

View Full Version : behavour



juejue
10-05-2010, 10:02 PM
Any advice would be grateful.

I have a 3 year old who really plays up when my mums come to drop off or collect, He is the first one here every day with his sibling and sometimes the last to go. My mums must think he is like that all day, they all say the same......"Good luck today "

All the other children know my rule.....When parents are here, All children must sit quiet and they do. except DC.

Has anyone else has the same problem, if so how did you deal with it

x x :panic:

Pipsqueak
11-05-2010, 06:31 AM
he is attention seeking.
first of all how are you dealing with it?

Middle son used to act up when people came round - made me look like an incompetent wally!

I dealt with it two ways - he would come to the door with me and hold my hand at all time, if he started acting it a swift and firm - no we don't behave like that and then totally ignore - no eye contact etc

or

I would take him to the other room by himself (could still hear/see him) and give him some toys. if he followed etc I would take him straight back and tell him when he can behave he can come to the door.

miffy
11-05-2010, 06:45 AM
Totally agree with Pip - sounds like he's attention seeking.

Miffy xx

Minstrel
11-05-2010, 06:47 PM
Is this your child or a mindee???

juejue
11-05-2010, 08:29 PM
Hi, Thanks for the replys, He is a mindee and yes he is 100% seeking attention. I have said that for a while now, But It's how to deal with it. I am pulling my hair out with him . All my other mindee's have always respected my rules.
I have tried all kinds from.........Having him sitting down to breakfast at the table. Having the TV on, Having new toys out. Putting him on the sofa when mums knock and telling him its a game......who can sit and be the best boy or girl. Giving them books to read at home time.....even played in the garden.
He knows what he is doing because he will say to me " I AM GOING TO START WHEN ##### MUM COMES "
I have talked to him and his mum n dad and I am getting now where :(

Pipsqueak
11-05-2010, 09:49 PM
Sounds like its time for firm consistency from you and introducing consquences.
What is it excatly that he is doing?

Explain to him that his behaviour is unacceptable and the consquences will be.....


Make sure he is holding your hand at all times when someone arrives/departs. until he can learn to stop acting it then he will have to stay glued to you.
try ignoring what you can and only do the eye contact giving him attention if he is going over the top.

MEGA praise up the children who are behaving - give them a sticker and making it very clear that they are getting it for being good when someone came to the door, that was really good behavour type of stuff

Trouble
11-05-2010, 09:59 PM
Sounds like its time for firm consistency from you and introducing consquences.
What is it excatly that he is doing?

Explain to him that his behaviour is unacceptable and the consquences will be.....


Make sure he is holding your hand at all times when someone arrives/departs. until he can learn to stop acting it then he will have to stay glued to you.
try ignoring what you can and only do the eye contact giving him attention if he is going over the top.

MEGA praise up the children who are behaving - give them a sticker and making it very clear that they are getting it for being good when someone came to the door, that was really good behavour type of stuff

excellent advice:D :thumbsup: :clapping:

beckyteddy
11-05-2010, 10:00 PM
Could you just completely ignore him when he "STARTS"? He obviously knows that what he is doing gets him lots of attention, so I would be tempted to not mention Mum's coming to the door, or mention incentives or deterants at all, and just absolutely ignore him while you are dealing with people at the door. Maybe put a stair gate at the hall doorway (if that would work in your home) and leave him on the otherside when you go to the door, then you can ignore any noise he makes (I'm presuming he will make lots!) but he won't be able to physically grab your attention.

I had to sort my DS's behaviour out at bedtime and through the night and I used this kind of approach. It was really tough but it worked like a treat! He performed the most almighty screaming session for nearly an hour, but the next night he smiled, hopped into bed and said "I'm not going to make a fuss tonight"....thank God!

Will be harder with it being a mindee, but it might just work?

My other suggestion is at the other end of the scale.....maybe do a very, very immediate reward system. Have a box of pocket money toys (themed to his interests ie. fave telly characters, bouncy balls, pens, badges, but avoiding sweets) and explain to him he can choose a toy from the box every time a Mum comes to the door as long as he makes no fuss at all. It must be all or nothing so if he makes even the slightest fuss, there should be no toy just a brief "sorry, that wasn't quite good enough, can you try again next time?". I've had to use this one with my DS as well and although I hate to resort to bribary it worked really well. My son has now moved onto a reward chart rather than an immediate prize, and is earning a new leapster game for 7 nights worth of sleeping all night long, but it was the little prizes for each success that cracked it for him.

Maybe try the reward system first, but do the ignoring if he chooses to make a fuss anyway?

Sorry for long post, but I have just had so much recent success with my own awkward 3 year old that I felt the need to share!