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helenlc
05-05-2010, 01:23 PM
My mindee J was 2 in Feb of this year. He has a much older brother, so is almost like an only child.

He has been quite defiant lately and pushing the boundaries - which is usual for his age and we can work through this.

But last week, and more so today, he has been incredibly boisterous at soft play. They are all in the under 3s bit. He has taken to pushing the children (my other mindees aged 21 mths and 11 mths but also some other children today too), running into them on purpose and barging them over, grabbing my 21 mth old round the neck and dragging her down and also today he jumped up and landed straight on the 11 mth old!!:eek:

He is doing it on purpose and almost hunts out my other mindees - he generally goes straight past any other children. I gave him 2 min time out each time and in the end, sat him in the pushchair. Maybe for longer than I should have done but he was literally being rough the minute he got back into the soft play area.

I tell him each time he does it thats its not nice and he is hurting the other children. At the end of time out, I then tell him why he had it (again) and that he is to be nice and gentle to the other children.

I dont want to stop going as the other mindees enjoy it. I just need some ideas on how to deal with it while we are there.

He has also started to be a little rough at home but nothing like what he is like at soft play. I wonder if its him getting over excited there? But I also know that that is not acceptable. He pushed a little baby a couple of times today. I apologized to Mum but I dont want to turn into one of those poeple who walks into soft play and people go "Oh thats her with the really rough child":blush:

Any advice would be welcome.:D

The Juggler
05-05-2010, 01:27 PM
I would keep going with the time-outs and remind him each time before he goes back that he must be gentle with other children or he'll hurt them. Sounds like you're doing all this already so not much help really - sorry!

mama2three
05-05-2010, 01:30 PM
can he go into the older childrens part? Ds and his little friends were all 'past' the under 3s bit by the time they were 2 - he may calm down with it being more challenging? Difficult though as they then will be in different places do you go with others who could watch the little ones for a couple of mins ?

helenlc
05-05-2010, 01:32 PM
Thats ok - lol. I think we sometimes just need a little encouragement to keep going!!:o

I just hope the time outs go in - as they certainly werent this morning.:(

caz3007
05-05-2010, 01:36 PM
Just a different tack how about a reward type of chart, I know they are sometimes frowned upon, but they worked with my DS and some of mindies parents have used the too and they have worked. Then you are praising the good behaviour

AnnieM
05-05-2010, 04:16 PM
I occasionally look after a 2 year old who is an only child. He is terrible when we go to soft play, I don't allow him in the under 3's bit anymore as he is too rough, he goes into the older kids bit as it is more challenging so he spends most of his time and energy negotiating his way round and doesn't have time to be rough. I don't have any younger ones though so easy to keep an eye on him.

teacake2
05-05-2010, 05:10 PM
Are you sure you haven't got my mindee?, it sounds exactly the same as here, it is very hard to try and be consistent all the time and still let them have total freedom to be able to express themselves when they are actually hurting some of the others. I am just hoping that we get through this stage quite quickly as it is getting to the stage that he doesn't have the timeouts I do for a bit of sanity for a few seconds:blush: :blush: :blush:
Teacake2

helenlc
05-05-2010, 09:18 PM
Thanks for the suggestions.

I have 2 other under 2s with me when I go. I do go with other childminders so would get help with keeping an eye on everyone, as it were.

I know Mum and Dad take him there occassionally - I might ask if they let him go on the bigger part. If so, then I might ask them to sign something to say they are fine for him to go on there when we go - strictly speaking the bigger area is for over 3s.

Thanks again:thumbsup:

helenlc
06-05-2010, 08:09 AM
I spoke to Mum this morning. Turns out they dont go there - must have misunderstood Dad, thought he said they did.

Anyway, I said to her that there is a bigger bit but I was concerned that he wouldnt be able to get himself around it (he is quite short for his age and also struggles with hip movement, so dont think he would manage the large stage like step bits that are all over the big bit). I said about the time outs I was doing and explaining to him about having to be gentle. She said that was fine.

She also asked if he was like it when we got home and I said not generally although I did have to tell him a couple of times yesterday to be gentle with the others. As we were chatting, he was trying to kick my daughter and also try to wrestle her to the floor. Mum told him off and said to be nice. I said This is the sort of thing he was/has been doing.

She said he rough and tumbles at home with older brother, 13 and maybe they should stop. I said that they could maybe calm it down a bit but they dont have to necessarily stop. They just need to make J aware that he can only do that with big brother or at home but not at my house.

I will just have to see how it goes.:o