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View Full Version : Update on my upset mindee and mum being on maternity leave



MissTinkerbell
28-04-2010, 04:51 PM
I'm sure you will all remember me posting a thread a few weeks back as to whether I should have a chat with mum about still contiuing to send her DD when she started maternity leave?

Well since then I had another word with mum and she was still adament on sending her! B has broken down in tears on numerous occasions with worries about the arrival of her new baby sister and whats going to happen - even saying that she wants her daddy to move back in with her mummy because at least daddy wouldn't be busy with baby stuff and he was all hers :(

I spoke to mum about all of this and suggested that she have a good long chat with B as she just needed some reassurance about how things were going to be and what was going to happen when mum went into hospital.

Mum started maternity leave on Friday and B thought mummy was picking her up from school so was in tears but I managed to distract her and she was OK when she got back to mine. She had Monday off school because of doctors appt so was at home with mum all day.

Yesterday mum's boyfriend's mum arrived to stop for a week and she insisted on taking and fetching B from school but I was told that I would have B back today.

B wasn't dropped off this morning and mum came to me on the playground saying that she couldn't persuade B to come to mine this morning but could I still pick her up from school? I asked if this was a good idea after what had obviously happened and she said that she couldn't pick her up cos she had things to do in town (the woman had a whole 6 hours whilst she was at school :mad: :angry: ).

Anyway I went to meet B from school and she was distraught. She didn't want to come home with me and told her teacher 'no, she was going home with mummy'. B's best friend's mum came over and tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong so I expleined. She then asked if B would like to go home and play with J and have tea at his house? She said that she would and she didn't want to go to my house.

I said that I couldn't let her go unless I had mum's permission (which she understood). She tried to ring mum and on about the 6th attempt mum answered her mobile. She spoke to me and TBH was so unfussed by the whole thing that I was gobsmacked. Anyway she gave me permission to hand her over and B went home with J. J's mum has said that she will have a stern word with B's mum and tell her that for B's sake she needs to be at home with mummy and not with me - hopefully she will listen to J's mum now.

I was then speaking to B's teacher and they've been having trouble with her at school - being tearful, upset and wanting mummy. I really feel for B and worry how she's going to cope when the new baby does arrive. It just annoys me that some mum's do nothinhy to prepare their children for the arrival of a new little person who is going to completely change everything they have ever known. She won't be my responsibility once baby arrives but I just feel awful for her.

mamasheshe
28-04-2010, 05:25 PM
:( :( :( :( :( :(

The Juggler
28-04-2010, 05:29 PM
oh that is so sad. poor little thing. :(

funfunfun
28-04-2010, 05:49 PM
poor little thing mum should make more time

angiemog
28-04-2010, 05:50 PM
Poor little munchkin, it's so sad. I hope mum will listen to someone..... x

Curly Quavers
28-04-2010, 06:35 PM
I wonder if it wouldn't be a good idea to speak to her hv so that she is in the loop for when the new baby arrives?

I don't want to be to judgmental but does sound a little like emotional neglect to me :(

mum2two
28-04-2010, 06:52 PM
Bless. The poor little girl needs some reassurance from her mummy. Nothing anyone else says to her is going to matter.

Some parents just dont listen or take any advice. Some even ask for it, then dismiss it!!

Really hope mum sees just how much her little girl needs her & does the right thing.

xx

little_gems
28-04-2010, 07:25 PM
I do wonder why some people have children!!!!

Twinklestars
29-04-2010, 11:52 AM
poor little girl, can understand mum might need to rest if heavily pregnant but she has all the time shes at school. I have a 4 month old and was off sick from 17 weeks and was bored silly while my 5 year old was at school and couldn't wait to pick him up. Hope mum listens to someone.

The Juggler
29-04-2010, 12:41 PM
hopefully the friend talking to her might make her see sense.

sfox2003
29-04-2010, 12:49 PM
Thats just so sad. I cant believe mum is being so ignorant to her daughters needs.

She just wants her mummy and her daddy by the sounds of it but is being ignored.

Oh that poor little girl, she must be so sad inside. I just have images of her being on her own a lot at home, never getting much attention. It breaks my heart.

I really hope her mums friend can talk sense into her.

wendywu
29-04-2010, 01:00 PM
Can you and mindee do something at your house for the new baby, make a mobile. Or make a book of photos for the new baby.

Let her bath a doll in a bowl of water to practice when the baby comes.

Let every one make a list a baby names they like and then play guessing games as to which one it may be.

Guess what day the baby may arrive, print off the Mondays child is full of Grace poem and put it up.

Get every one to bring their baby pictures in or pictures of their siblings as babies.

So that the new baby is involved in your house as well so she does not feel left out. So everyone is baby minded. :thumbsup:

Twinklestars
29-04-2010, 01:12 PM
Can you and mindee do something at your house for the new baby, make a mobile. Or make a book of photos for the new baby.

Let her bath a doll in a bowl of water to practice when the baby comes.

Let every one make a list a baby names they like and then play guessing games as to which one it may be.

Guess what day the baby may arrive, print off the Mondays child is full of Grace poem and put it up.

Get every one to bring their baby pictures in or pictures of their siblings as babies.

So that the new baby is involved in your house as well so she does not feel left out. So everyone is baby minded. :thumbsup:

Great advice, when I had my 4 month old, another boys mum had a baby a few weeks before so school made the theme for the term 'babies' and she had to go in and they were all asking questions and they made a doctors surgery role play area for all the babies (dolls) to go in and see the doctor so they could learn all about babies which I never thought at the time but was probably for their benefit, can't go to school to pick up my 5 year old now without them all asking stuff and wanting to see him which is nice

MissTinkerbell
04-05-2010, 10:32 AM
Well mum listened to her friend and I didn't have B for the rest of the week and she was taken and fetched from school by mummy. She went to daddy's for the weekend and I saw mum this morning - she gave me termination of contract letter and has done lots of stuff with B - finally rrealising just how much B needs her mummy at this time. I do worry about what will happen when new baby arrives - I'm not having her back - but I have spoken to her class teacher about it and they have worries too but have put aside some time for B to have 1:1 time with the class TA to help her through all the changes.

monkey62
04-05-2010, 11:03 AM
Poor little girl......Some parents are terrible.....I want to scream:angry: :angry: :angry: :angry: :angry:

little_gems
04-05-2010, 11:13 AM
i'm glad school have picked up on it as well.. at least they'll be doing something

youarewhatyoueat
04-05-2010, 11:24 AM
Perhaps she came on here and read this thread!!

helenlc
04-05-2010, 11:30 AM
Glad she finally saw sense - or was made to see sense!!!

Also pleased that school are going to help her with the major adjustments - although I still think its Mums job.

I just hope she doesnt get pushed aside when baby arrives - when is it due?

The Juggler
04-05-2010, 01:11 PM
:clapping: :clapping: :clapping: that's really good news. for lo not for your business but you did it for the right reasons. Well done.

MissTinkerbell
06-05-2010, 11:18 AM
Business wise it didn't really matter as I'd already been paid til the end of the month and it was then only going to be if she needed me after due date. And I've already filled her space as I knew mum didn't want it anymore.

Baby was due on Saturday but hadn't arrived yesterday as I saw mum in the playground at pick up time.

I do hope that she is not going to be pushed aside but as you say luckily school have picked up on it too.

Also think she was 'made' to see sense rather than actually saw the sense herself!!