Do I need to write an incident report?

[francinejayne]

Hello, I need some help from more experienced minders. This morning I was looking after mindee, A aged 3 and a half, and my DS aged 23 months.

Sometimes both children get on well, other times they bicker like mad, and they are both as bad as each other! I sometimes try to ignore the bickering to see if they can resolve it themselves, and I only try to intervene when it's getting too heated or one of them is upset.

We were playing out in the back garden when A got the doll and put it on the swing. My son walked over as she was strapping the doll in. A shouted at him to move and shoved him in the chest - he didn't fall over and didn't get upset, and neither did he move. So A grabbed the swing, pulled it back as far as she could and the pushed it really hard directly at my son. I tried to get there in time, but the swing hit him hard in the face, knocking him over. He was very upset. (There are no marks or bruises now.)

I will be completely honest, I was LIVID! I shouted at A and sent her inside. After 5 minutes I spoke to her again - I could not speak to her before then as I was so angry - and explained why what she did was so wrong, she then apologised to my son and I let her come back outside to carry on playing.

This is the first time I have ever shouted at a mindee, but I just couldn't help myself. Was I wrong to do so? I feel terrible :(

Do i need to write an incident report for this or will writing it in her diary be enough?

thanks!

[Minstrel]

I would definitely write up something for your own records as once the diary has gone home to parents you might not see it again and therefore have nothing written as evidence should the worst happen and they complain or something (not saying they will but cover your a**e in all instances!)

[Ripeberry]

Don't feel bad about shouting. You acted instinctively as your child was being hurt. At least she will hopefuly not do it again :) But as above, write it in your incident book just in case.

[Hebs]

i'd also inform parents that she has lashed out at your son cos that can not and should not be allowed to happen again, she is alot older than your son

[helenlc]

I would write it in the diary. But, as others have said, I would write it in your incident book and get the parents to sign it.

Although older, my 9 yr mindee (no longer with me) and my 9 yr old DD would either get on famously or bicker and wind each other up. On one occassion, mindee hit my DD in the face!!:eek: They were playing in the playhouse at the time - so out of sight but I could hear them.

I admit I spoke rather sternly (possibly even shouted!) at mindee and sent him indoors. Like you, it was a few minutes before I felt able to speak with him about it.

I wrote it in my personal diary which is CM related but for my eyes only ie not parents. I also wrote it in my incident book and got mum to sign at the end of the day.

I hope your son is ok now and not badly bruised. I hope you are feeling better too.:)

[francinejayne]

Thanks for your quick replies! My son is fine, as is the mindee. I just feel absolutely terrible - I'm not a shouty person at all, normally a stern look and a change in the tone of my voice works, but I guess my instincts took over and I did shout. The mindee was very shocked, so maybe it will hopefully mean that it won't happen again?

I have written up an incident report (my first one, but guess I'll have more to come!) and will get mum to sign it when she collects A.

Roll on wine time tonight!!!

[AliceK]

i'd also inform parents that she has lashed out at your son cos that can not and should not be allowed to happen again, she is alot older than your son

I was just thinking this. At the end of the day she is 3 and half and your DS is not quite 2. All my older children know what they have to be gentle and patient with the younger ones and yes they will wind each other up and I try to see it from both sides but I would not tolerate an older child deliberately hurting another one especially a younger one.

BTW don't beat yourself up about shouting I think I would have done the same.

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[francinejayne]

BTW don't beat yourself up about shouting I think I would have done the same.

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Thanks! I'm feeling better about it now!