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Mrs Bee
16-04-2010, 11:37 PM
Today my colleague gave notice to the parent of one of our children we mind. The day before the 5yr old child trashed our house so much we cant continue to work until it is gutted out. The parent said it was his fault for not restraining or preventing the child but we were advised not to restrain the children at our 1st inspection. The child was hitting out at us - scratching, kicking and biting with some strength! We couldnt get near from things that were being thrown at us - like a 2 seater couch!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes 2 seater couch!!!!!!!!We had other children in our care that we couldnt leave they were absolutly petrified as they were being subjected to serious threats of abuse from the child, all we could do was stand in the door way to watch the child behaving like this and to stop the child hurting the others. We phoned the parent to come and collect them. After talking over night we discussed the situation and decided he was not to come back as there was no way we would feel safe looking after the child. My colleague took a letter in person and spoke with the parent who then started to scream at him in the street that the child wasnt coming back anyway as they were reporting us for not controlling the situation.
Have we done the right thing or not?

sarah707
17-04-2010, 07:39 AM
It is a fine line between managing a situation and being hurt and you need to make that clear in your paperwork.

The steps I would take are...

write up the background to the incident (if you haven't already)...

Then you need to note the steps you have taken to work with the parents to resolve the issues...

Note the behaviour management training / books you have read / advice you have taken / people you have approached for advice (confidentially) about managing the child / work you have done to support the child with school etc

Then write up exactly what happened last night and both of you sign it.

Keep it very impersonal and not emotional as it might need to be read by other organisations.

I would then say on Monday ring your Local Safeguarding Children Board to report the incident because at the end of the day behaviour like throwing sofas is a safeguarding concern isn't it?

You will also need to report the incident to Ofsted as it is a serious incident which might have traumatised the other children in your care at the time and you might get reports or complaints made to Ofsted by their parents.

Sorry you have joined the forum under such sad circumstances. I hope this resolves quickly for you. xx

The Juggler
17-04-2010, 09:02 AM
great advice from Sarah. I just wanted to show my sympathy.

I think that is a very hard situation. I might be tempted to say restraint in the case of a 5 year old normally but sounds like in the case of this child the restraint needed would have probably hurt the child given thier strength so I probably would have been tempted to do the same as you.

Toothfairy
17-04-2010, 11:00 AM
I would take Sarah's advice.

Was this just out of the blue or did you know the child had behaviour problems?
I don't think you could have restrained the child in this situation, it sounds as though it was safer to let the child burn themselves out, you had the other children to think of.

Make sure you document everything, I hope you get things sorted soon.

AliceK
17-04-2010, 12:00 PM
What an awful situation.

I must say that I don't think I could just watch a child destroy my home like that though, I would of had to restrain him I think. I think that would be my instinctive reaction.

I hope you get this resolved without any further complaints from this childs parents.

xxxxxxxxxx

Ripeberry
17-04-2010, 07:33 PM
I am totally :eek: that a 5yr old child could be so destructive. I would have put the other children in a safe place with the other adult and then 'contained' the child.
If this child had previous behavioral issues then being able to 'hold' the child would have been very important.
Also, the parent is out of order shouting at you in the street, must have the same temperament as the child :(
God help the reception teacher when he starts school.
Also, it means that our pre-school a couple of years ago was in the wrong then as we had a 3yr old who was very destructive and violent and we needed a SN helper just to 'hold' him when he went nuts.

TheBTeam
17-04-2010, 07:51 PM
I know we are not supposed to restrain the child, but my dh would never stand by and let a child trash our home, i would have been outside with the other children and he would have picked up the little mite and taken him outside!

I say that way round cos I am a weakling and wouldnt want to get hurt!

Just want to wish you luck with this.

Jelly Baby
17-04-2010, 08:20 PM
I have had a child of 4 who was rather out of control shall we say due to his size so had a lot of oomph behind him but i could never imagine him being able to do so much damage. It is a nightmare situation and im glad your out of it tbh. I hope it turns out ok and the parents calm down and discuss it reasonably..sounds like they are the main culprit to the mood swings x