have i taken on 2 much!! help needed PLEASE

[mammumof4]

ok i currently look after a 17 month old baby, full time, just taken on a new full timer who is 3.
i also have 2 after schoolers aged 8 and 4 who have just had hours increased to 3/4 days before & after school! these children are very demanding,mischievious,argumentative but very sweet and belive me they are alot better than when i strarted with them 6 months ago.
thats ok you might all be thinking but throw in my boustrous boys!!! aged 7 and 4 and i am having moments when im thinking "why am i doing this! should i start looking for another job and finding a childminder myself!!!!, ect" :blush:
i also have teenage girls but apart from the odd argument and slamming of bedroom door (no mindies upstairs!) they generally stay out of the way :blush: , but thats another story! look out for another thread! :laughing:

dont get me wrong i love what i do but im just finding hard at the moment to find something they all want to do, they fight alot and make so much noise, they all wanted to play in garden last night so i let them all out so me and daughter could tidy kitchen and get snacks ready,play with baby ect and the noise was so bad! they all had paper aeroplanes, (thanks to who ever that was that posted the link for that,its great!!) and at first all was calm but then they all seemed to be delibletly aiming them at each other! my own 7 yr old being the ring leader to all this, add to this the dog barking in his own enclosed part of garden because he wanted to play aswell!! and im sure the noise was louder than a school playground full of 100 kids!!! i had visions of a complaint coming from next door and i dont need that as some of you will remember i have had issues with them and cm in the past!!! so the kids had to come in, i got out the playdough and that was going well untill i went to the door to see 3 yr old off and have a quick chat with parent, came back to play dough all over the place and poor daughter stood in the middle of it not knowing what to do and also covered in dough as it had been thrown at her :angry: im ashamed to say i blamed her for not stopping them :blush: and then felt so guilty i had to try hard to stop the tears, they had mixed the dough with the water that was intended for hand washing, to make matters worse it had ALOT of red food colouring and glitter in it!!! it was mainly on the table and floor but a few had it in hair and stuck to face! i was only gone for 5 mins!! just about got them cleaned up in time for parents arriving.
sorry i was only going to ask for some activity ideas and i found myself writting an essay, guess it was on my mind more that i thought :blush:

any sugestions for a very warn out and sometimes overwhelmed childminder x

nice and quiet at mo as lo asleep and 3 yr old playing with the cars, my 4 yr old is out with my dad but i have them all back at 3

[mammumof4]

anyone? 27 view but no replys

[Rubybubbles]

Oh hunny hugs

Can't put long reply, I am popping on whilst the older ones are all out in garden lol (in sight and sound I may add!) younger ones in bed:)

But by replying I know I can find it later :laughing:

Smile though, it's Friday

[Blaze]

I'll be back on later to reply - am off out now... chin up it's Friday x

[singlewiththree]

I'm sorry but it sounds very much like my house sometimes :blush: other times it can be fine.

Could you take them to a local patch of green or a park for a while after school.
I find with mine I walk them home SLOWLY and that can take 30-40 mins and then they have a snack then I let them out for 30-40mins then they have to come in for a bit or I have to keep telling them to keep the noise down. They just want to let off steam after school so I'm planning on going to the park and taking a picnic snack but I never seem to get organised enough.

[LOOPYLISA]

Im not sure what advise to offer x x x

[Mrs.L.C]

Time out works well with most ages. I have a couple who can be like this after school. They have learnt now that if they cant play nicely and turn their volume switches down slightly then they dont get to do what they want or have treats at the end of the week. If they get too bad I warn them with time out and actualy follow through with it which they hate as 8 mins is a long time.

Ask them what they would like to do for ideas. Limit things like games consoles and Tv and use these as rewards. You could do a reward system where if they play nice, listen to you, are sensible when parents come to collect etc then they get points which are converted into mins on the pc/game consoles/tv.

I also stay out for a good half hour after collecting the after schoolers which helps as they can run off some energy before we get back to the house. I also ensure we go out in the mornings during the school holidays and have a special trip planned but on the condition they are well behaved.

anything messy or constructive should keep them busy but give them some rules first and prob best do it outside. And 1 last thing - big children also thrive on praise so praise praise praise when ever you can

[sarah707]

It's really hard with after schoolers because they are often tired and stressed from being in school all day and if they are anything like my lot they sometimes just need to run around and shout a lot.

It probably sounds worse to you because you are more aware of the noise with your neighbours being a problem.

See how it goes for a week and if you're not feeling any better by next Friday, think about whether you need to let one go.

Hugs xx

Oh and don't worry about the page views, a lot of them are Google bots and Yahoo spiders come for a nosey :D

[Mrs.L.C]

Time out works well with most ages. I have a couple who can be like this after school. They have learnt now that if they cant play nicely and turn their volume switches down slightly then they dont get to do what they want or have treats at the end of the week. If they get too bad I warn them with time out and actualy follow through with it which they hate as 8 mins is a long time.

Ask them what they would like to do for ideas. Limit things like games consoles and Tv and use these as rewards. You could do a reward system where if they play nice, listen to you, are sensible when parents come to collect etc then they get points which are converted into mins on the pc/game consoles/tv.

I also stay out for a good half hour after collecting the after schoolers which helps as they can run off some energy before we get back to the house. I also ensure we go out in the mornings during the school holidays and have a special trip planned but on the condition they are well behaved.

anything messy or constructive should keep them busy but give them some rules first and prob best do it outside. And 1 last thing - big children also thrive on praise so praise praise praise when ever you can

[Tatjana]

I have no suggestions but wanted to say I'm with you on the noise levels, it really gets to me at times!

xx

[youarewhatyoueat]

You have the same age children as me, 2 girls 14 and 13 and 2 boys age 7 and just 5.
Do you want my honest answer????
I will not have after school boys with my own 2, been there done it and not worth the hassle. Its not because anyone was particulary badly behaved they were just very lively, noisy children that wouldn't chill out.
I enjoy my own childrens company too much after school and I missed having them to myself, having younger children or girls has always been great as they are so good with them but the same age and sex I won't do again as that is what works for us.
They played brilliantly but my 2 boys were exhausted and they were always too tired to read or do a bit of homework.
The other reason was that my 2 could never have friends back because it was just too much.
I've never done minding fulltime and don't want to as I also nanny in the evenings and weekends as working away from home suits my family better.
You have to consider the effects on your own children first and say no. Its taken me a long time but I am now learning to say no!!

[wellybelly]

This year I have nitoced that I too have taken too much. I havn't been enjoying the job as much as I used to and everything is becoming such a chore. I don't like feeling like this so have dcided to reduce my hours from 5 days to 3 days come September. I won't have anyone to let down as 2 children are starting school. I just won't fill the spaces.

I think what I'm trying to say is stay in control and if it is getting too much, think of how you can reduce the stress before it takes over your life. I want to love my job again and just the thought of their being a date to look forward to is very motivating.

If you don't want to reduce numbers of children / days then think of the good you are doing for the children. It's always hard to begin with but everyday they're with you they get used to the rules and know the routines. You may find it starts to get better rather than worse.

Sending big hugs and lots of love x

[sandy64]

just wanted to send you a big hug sounds like youve had a bad day luckily good ones usually out way the bad,enjoy time with your family this weekend then start a fresh next week i would seperate them with a quiet activity if you feel there getting to noisy/boisterous/not listening it hopefully will make them see you are the boss. i know how you feel i use to do older kids 8,11,12 but finished last summer as i found they were upsetting lo's. but i had been looking after older ones for 18yrs and felt for me time to slow down and just have under 5s and its bliss. im sure things will be much better after the weekend take care:)

[mammumof4]

ahh thanks everyone! x

sorry i took so long to reply, friday just got worse and worse for me!!!
i managed to make it to 5pm without toooo much of a problem, they all played for a while but then when dad arrived the girls aged 4 and 8 ran off from him!!!:blush: i had had a quick chat with dad about last nights problems and asked him and mum to have a word with them and not to worry i wasnt given up on them, just finding it a little hard at the moment. he was fine and i gave him bags, letters, cakes we had made ect. his hands were pretty full so he asked older daughter to open the door for him BIG MISTAKE!!!! she took off on my sons scooter from the front off the house, laughing and shouting you cant catch me :eek: , followed closly by her sister!!!! :eek:

he had to dump the bags and run after them, i said it had to go back in the house to the other children.

am i right in saying that this is not my responsibility as the girls were handed over into his care??

he rang me 20 mins later to say the scooter was back in my garden. he finally caught up with them in the next street:eek:

mum dropped the girls off yesterday morning and nothing was said about it, i didnt bring it up cozi get the feeling he hasnt told her!!!

[Ripeberry]

If they do this with their dad, then the parents must know what they are like :rolleyes: I find that my own kids are worse than any mindee or playdate, especially my soon to be 8yr old.
There must be a switch that goes off in their head at that age where they have to be ultra naughty, but at the same time they can be VERY loving :)
Hope you have a better day.

[mumx3]

Maybe.

I find the after schoolers drive my over the top, my own kids are no problem and the toddlers are all well trained, but other peoples 4 and 5 years olds seem to tip the balance!

I would stick with the full timers and you own kids of course, but if things becomes too much consider giving notice on one of the after schoolers (assuming they are not sibilings).

I love the toddlers, even though they are hard hard work, I have 3x 1year olds 3 days a week and 2 x 1 year olds and a 9 month old the other day. It is full on! I recently cut one of my after schoolers ( the rowdy one!) to 2 afternoons instead of 3 (now dont have rowdy on fridays) It has made a huge difference to my sanity and my own children too.

I think it totally depends on the dynamic,

I took a 9 month old, 17 month old (not walking) and 22 month old to toddlers today and it was an absolute pleasure! (Yes I did just say that out loud didnt I)!

Good luck with it all!

[heidi p]

I have the same problem the after school children come to mine and all they want to do is play fight which ends up being a real fight. They dont want to take part in any activities that I set out. It has been mayhem and it has been driving me mad for a few weeks now BUT i had a lovely week of over Easter and now have restarted my house rules and come down strong with their behaviour and started a lovely routine with the older ones taking turns in doing snack time and giving them more responsiblity and show example behaviour. Seems to be working WELL until parents start arriving then i take my eyes off them for 2 mins. Keep strong and make sure they know who is boss:thumbsup:

[Jelly Baby]

This will no doubt be me in a few weeks time!
I don't know what to suggest really other than getting them out of the house more poss? now the weather is improving taking them to a park etc and having a picnic if food is a factor may be easier.
As for blaming your dd don't beat yourself up about it. My mindee and my dd went outside on Monday and had a water fight..i said they could get damp! not soaked..guess who got her soaked..i told my dd off due to me having no spare clothes but shouldn't have really it was just a hassle with her sat eating dinner in wet clothes but not the end of the world!

I currently work 6-8am in an employed job, i rush home get changed and do the school run with 4 children (2 i have posted about so a hard morning at the mo!)..i used to get home and pick mindee up then do various hours through usually till 6pm but some days only 4pm. I work sats too so only get one day off.
At the mo i am only doing the school runs, all day on a thur and my sat job but am exhausted so how i will cope with twins 8.30am-5.30pm is beyond me and something has to give! I like trying to do everything and not let anyone down but know i will hate this job if i make it unbearable.

Sit down and see who/what is making it hard and evaluate from there.

Good luck hope tomorrow is better x

[Goatgirl]

ahh thanks everyone! x

sorry i took so long to reply, friday just got worse and worse for me!!!
i managed to make it to 5pm without toooo much of a problem, they all played for a while but then when dad arrived the girls aged 4 and 8 ran off from him!!!:blush: i had had a quick chat with dad about last nights problems and asked him and mum to have a word with them and not to worry i wasnt given up on them, just finding it a little hard at the moment. he was fine and i gave him bags, letters, cakes we had made ect. his hands were pretty full so he asked older daughter to open the door for him BIG MISTAKE!!!! she took off on my sons scooter from the front off the house, laughing and shouting you cant catch me :eek: , followed closly by her sister!!!! :eek:

he had to dump the bags and run after them, i said it had to go back in the house to the other children.

am i right in saying that this is not my responsibility as the girls were handed over into his care??

he rang me 20 mins later to say the scooter was back in my garden. he finally caught up with them in the next street:eek:

mum dropped the girls off yesterday morning and nothing was said about it, i didnt bring it up cozi get the feeling he hasnt told her!!!

Hi Mammum :),
Just wanted to say about the girls running off. I learned the hard way too when a mindee ran out of the open door as her mum was coming up the path (I assumed she was just going to her mum, they'd walk back up to the house together) and I'd just let another parent in, so was talking to her, helping her get her son rounded up etc. Anyway the runner had just kept running, turned out she saw the icecream van further down the street and saw her chance for a treat :rolleyes: . Mum didn't even come into the house when she caught up with her (embarrassed, I think), but really it made me think hard about door opening rules.
Only a grown up is allowed to open the door. If a parent ever asks their child to do it I remind them they're being excellently behaved, waiting for a grown up to do it. :thumbsup: I'm sure the parents think I'm a control freak sometimes, but this way, when they leave the house its a clear hand over of responsibility.

I hope you find ways to calm everyone down and start to enjoy things again. Personally I'd get tough with discipline and time out for the older ones, but with lashings of praise and encouragement for every smidgen of positive behaviour. Stick on an enthusiastic smile and give it ...a week?! If its still dreadful, then think about giving notice to the mindee whose absence is most likely to calm things down I guess..

good luck :)

very best wishes,
wendy