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View Full Version : would you give notice or keep trying?



newandlearning
12-04-2010, 03:24 PM
hi..

I look after one rising 5 after-schooler who gets on great with the other kids but is very boysterous and is always after a fight... now I think its all meant in play but he elbows the other kids in the face, pokes them in the eye, is very rough and means its very difficult for me to prepare dinner whilst he's there as I'm constantly having to say.. 'please play gently' please keep the toys in the garden and not my neighbours' 'please don't hit the dog' .. play at dinner time.. and run off in park (putting me in a difficult position as with other LOs younger .. I can't run off to find him when this happens)...

I'm really not enjoying it.. his last childminder gave notice for his behaviour..

what would you do..
- give notice?
- keep trying (when my heart tells me we are just not connecting)?

I feel like some evil witch as I'm telling more negative -don'ts - than positives...

and if you did give notice how do you do this? or would you just reduce hours?

I just want to have a bit less stress than am currently getting and am dreading seeing him again at the mo. :(

happydays1
12-04-2010, 03:40 PM
Hi, your not a witch i know what you feel like.
I am in the same sort of situation, i have look after a child who sounds very simular but i did keep trying because i thought the child needed a bit of stability(12 mths),the child has got a lot better after having worked with mum but i feel it is still effecting the other children so i dont think i will be renewing the contract after the summer holiday.
Maybe you could talk to the parents about his behaviour and come up with something like a chart etc, concentrating on the good behaviour that he displays.
Hope you get it sorted:)

Mouse
12-04-2010, 03:55 PM
Have you spoken to the parents & explained how difficult his behaviour is making things for you?

I would tell them what you've told us here & explain that if there isn't an improvement in his behaviour you will have to consider terminating the contract as it is proving too disruptive for you & the other children.

Try to work out a plan between you and set a deadline, saying you need to work together to see if things improve by X date. If they don't try to help, or if your joint efforts have no effect, then I would terminate the contract.

Daftbat
12-04-2010, 04:13 PM
Mouse is right - you need to sit down with the parents and explain what is going on - you never know it might be resolvable but if it isn't at least you have been open with them about your situtation.

newandlearning
12-04-2010, 04:16 PM
hi.. I've tried getting more info from the parents .. like more info on likes and dislikes.. etc so I can give activities etc focused on these.. but have had nothing back from them..

he was being very challenging at mealtimes even though parents said he wasn't really a fussy eater .. he has eaten maybe 3 meals of mine in 4 months .. tries putting knees up over table or even feet on table. Have had him sitting tightly against wall with table pushed close to him to try to stop this from happening...

I'm now not cooking for him at all as the other kids including my own would follow suit and I'd get a disruptive nights sleep as my own LOs would then awake in night hungry.. the mindee how goes home and is fed whatever he wants even tho we have spoken about stopping this - it never happened.

I have to safe proof my home so he doesn't destroy things I value... its rather amazing to write.

MAWI
12-04-2010, 04:28 PM
Hi
I would like to back up what MOUSE is saying.
I would speak to parents but try and keep very positive.( I know thats very hard) Dont mention termination of contracts but have an agreed plan, timescale ,i.e give it a few weeks or as long as you thin you can bear and say that you will have to monitor and evaluate his behaviour over this time. Maybe the parents will work with and reinforce things at home too.( you never know until you sit down and discuss it) This way you can prove that you have done everything you can. Stickers, rewards etc for god behaviour usually works.
I understnad how you feel, I had a little boy last year who was exactly the same, luckily Iwas only covering maternity leave for someone and knew he was eventually leaving in a few weeks.
Well done for perservering with it so far. Your obviiusoly doing a good job and your not a witch.

wendywu
12-04-2010, 04:51 PM
Get very very tough with him, set the boundaries and allow him no leeway.:angry: