won't settle - constant crying

[carolyn01]

Hi, I've been a reg childminder for over 11 years now, never had any problems until now!

I have a one year old boy, been coming to me for a couple of days now (only comes once a week 7 am - 5 pm) but I literally have to hold him or sit next to him all day. I can't go to the toilet without taking him with me and then have to hold him, can't go to the kitchen etc as he cries constantly (even if he can see me, wants to be picked up). I have come across this in the past but never to this extent and don't know what I can do, I can't keep picking him up.

Have tried to engage him in duplo bricks, puzzles, etc but will only play if sitting on my lap. Am is being impatient, is it just early days? Last week he cried on and off from 7 am - 5 pm and I was so drained of energy. I only have him that day so thankfully i can spend all day with just him but I need some time to make a coffee etc.

:panic:

[Mollymop]

I haven't got much experience with crying clingy children but it does remind me of the time mindee L was 13 months, when I first started minding her. I used to dread her coming (3 days a week) as all she used to do was cry and want me to hold her. After a few weeks Iof this it really got to me, so I decided that I would try and ignore it. Instead of picking her up all the time I would say "No" and then we woulfd play, etc. If I went into the kitchen she would cry for me, I would say "no I am only here" she would still cry but I never gave in. Within a few weeks to a month she was totally different. No more clingy.
I also found that a lot of the time she was tired so I would put her down in the mid morning for a nap and she would often cry for about 15 mins and then sleep for a good 2 hours and be fine when she woke up.

LIke I said not much experience, so hope you get some more advice soon x

[HELEN10]

Hi i def know how you feel have had one or two constantly crying babies and toddlers in the past, it is very draining. Some have carried on for weeks and weeks!

The problem with yours is the one day a week, how is he ever supposed to get used to you, after spending 6 days with his mum he has to go through it each week as if it is his first day! Have you spoken to mum about it? Lucky you can devote the time, what if you had other children as well?

HELEN10

[carolyn01]

Hi, thank you both for your replies.

I know one day a week is not enough really but his grandparents have him the other day due to childcare costs etc.

Will try to persevere but am emotionally drained every Tuesday and dread it!

[tashaleee]

Hi, thank you both for your replies.

I know one day a week is not enough really but his grandparents have him the other day due to childcare costs etc.

Will try to persevere but am emotionally drained every Tuesday and dread it!

Dont know if this is an option but could you not split the care over the two days with the grandparents (so parent has same costs still) - this might help him settle easier and then maybe go back to just the one day later on?

[loocyloo]

does LO cry with grandparents? how do they deal with it? what about with parents, do they pick LO up all the time, is LO never left to play on their own?

i have a new LO coming ... mum tells me she doesn't cry ... nanny tells me otherwise! ( nanny and i get on really well ... she is hoping i'll get LO in a routine and she will follow it on the days she has LO ! (3 days me, 1 day nanny) big brother also gives the game away, as he is totally un-interested in LO when she cries, (in fact, isn't interested full stop!) but i noticed in the times that i had LO for settling in sessions that she was either very tired or hungry, so i am going to put LO in a routine that encourages lots of sleep and regular eating! (mum has been allowing her to have 1/2 a bottle, then an hour later have the other 1/2, and as far as i can see, then meals spread out over a few hours!:eek: not going to happen here!)

i think tashalees idea of possibly splitting the day might be a good one, and maybe having some other children around might engage the LO, so he isn't so focused on you and what you are doing! goodluck

[haribo]

ive a nine month old just the same . i thik when she is at home she is given constant attention and is carried round everywhere . i cant do this as have two 2 yr olds too -one is her sister who tells me she cries at home too lol. i only have her two days so its hard to get her in a routine . ive just let her cry herself to sleep in the big pram in the garden so hopefully will get a bit of peace . good luck its really difficult im going to ask mum tonight how she goes asleep at home ive tried asking before but the issue was skirted round a little bit :rolleyes:

[green puppy]

To be honest if this is only his second day with you it's very early to expect him to settle, especially as he has been away from you for a week. It is hard when they constantly want to be with you, but he will be forming an attachment to you and may be worried when you look like you are leaving him.There is nothing wrong with giving lots of cuddles if he is your only mindee, you can devote alot of time to him and then he will gradually become secure and hopefully be happy to explore. If I needed to go into the kitchen or something I would say where I was going and then keep talking or singing so lo knew I was still near. Let him sit on your lap to play but put toys a little further away so that he has to reach, then try and sit him on the floor next to you. A treasure basket if you have one often works well as a distraction. Maybe he could bring a couple of favourite toys from home? Can you go to a group with him? I would give it a few more sessions and see how things develop, good luck.