Advice re mindee situation

[terrydoo73]

I am in a bit of an awkward situation at present. Up until February I had 4 mindees under 5 years of age. Two siblings and their 2 cousins - twin boys! One of the siblings left me to go to private nursery and his sister will leave me in June as she goes to school and after school in September. This will leave me with the twins - 3 days a week 10 hours each day. I have been thinking of keeping it like this for a year as they will go to nursery for 2 1/2 hours in September 2011. Twins are really hard work and the long days are getting longer as they get older. I am not making a lot from this contract but am happy with that - originally my income was made up of the 2 siblings as they were childcare vouchers with both parents being teachers and the twins were regarded as my third child if you understand what I mean!

My problem is this - mum of the twins has breast cancer and is presently going through chemo. She is hoping to have all the treatment completed by June and will not be returning work until September - I am basically looking after the twins to give her time to herself to recover so am suiting my days to her needs.

In effect this means for instance this week I have only worked today and then will not have the twins until next Wednesday then it will be 3 days straight on followed by another 3 at the beginning of the following week.

It is a bit through other with this working and I am happy to see it through - will work out OK in the summer when I will return to 3 definate set days meaning I have long weekends for my daughter but ....

I don't feel that I am really childminding if you know what I mean. I think my problem really is I crave the desire to feel wanted, needed etc

Anyone got any advice about how I could improve my situation if at least emotionally??

[little_gems]

sorry no advise but didnt want to read and run!!!! hope someone will come along with some advise

[sarah707]

I think you need to look for other work, maybe a slightly older part timer or before and after schooler?

It's important that your days are more structured, especially if you are feeling a bit low.

Also I think you need to find someone totally impartial to share your concerns with.

It is emotionally draining seeing someone go through chemo and supporting children whose lives are going to be affected by it.

Hugs xx

[The Juggler]

I agree with Sarah. The first thing I do when I have a 'low' day is meet up with a minder friend or even just get to a group where there are other adults.

Another child would be good as then you are focusing on building a relationship with them and the parents. Poor you and the poor mum. Hope you feel better soon.x

[Carol M]

I agree yhat you should look into having another mindee.
You are wanted and needed, look at how you are supporting mum who is going through treatment.
Get stuck into planning your business and looking forward to the future, whatever comes along.
Sending you positive vibes
Carol x

[auntym]

I agree with what the majority have advised hon. This job can be emotionally and physically testing. From worrying about pleasing parents, ofsted? Dealing with tax and paperwork oh yes and the darling babes :) . Maybe another little one may help income wise. I do appreciate how your feeling hon and send out massive hugs to you x x x

[TheBTeam]

No more advice to add, just want to wish you all the best during this difficult time.

[terrydoo73]

Thanks everyone. Fortunately I have my local Support Group meeting on Monday morning and they are all coming to me! I arranged this visit last month as wanted the children to have the experience of seeing a "farm" with all the baby lambs and calves in the fields which my hubby has. I have a lovely 1/2 mile long concrete lane which has means the children can see loads of animals on either side and give them a bit of physical activity. 2 childminders have said they are coming so far and might ring the other 4 to ensure they come too. Might not be able to do much chatting but just knowing that I have these friends might help to lift my spirits at present. As you can imagine living in the country it is difficult to get children - most parents are looking for town childminders for the convenience of their home/work and schools. I personally do not want to go out of childminding as it suits my lifestyle with having hubby farming and a little girl aged 9. Ideally I would love a little one mornings only but it might be difficult!

[helenlc]

How about approaching the local pre-schools and see if you can advertise there for maybe parents who want their child looked after for a few hours after the pre-school session?

This could break your day up a bit and provide an additional child and income.

I have a good set of local childminders who I meet up with regularly. I think I would struggle without them when I am having down days.

I hope Monday is a success. I would also suggest asking those that attend to plan something that day for another meet up - that way its all planned and you dont have to worry about making phone calls to chase them up.

Hope you feel brighter soon.:)

[breezy]

good advice already given and remember we're always here if you need a chat x