I'm upset :-(

[Fabby]

Mine and my husbands CRB's came back within 15 days, great! Now, My husband has a caution on his record (which we informed ofsted about on the declartion form) but obviously it's come up on the CRB and ofsted want to investigate further. They sent out a covering letter with a waiver form because as it stands at the moment i can not be registered. :-(
The letter that was sent was a standard 'disqualification' form and a standard waiver form. The letter and the waiver form reads as though I and my husband are both really bad criminals !! it made me so upset to read and it really got to me. My husband had this caution back nearly 6 years ago and it was for an act of frustration with a bloke who was trying it on with his girlfriend at the time (all this was before we met). The bloke was harrasing his girlfriend in a bar up in the town centre. My husband left because he didnt want any trouble and the bloke followed and carried on harrassing them, so in frustration he pushed this bloke who fell to the fall (very blind drunk) and my husband stupidly kicked him once whilst on the floor. Husband walked away and was queuing to go into another bar before the police asked him to go to the station for questioning. My husband obvioulsy co-operated and was released with a caution because the other bloke didn't want to press charges (my husband feels he didn't want press charges because the bloke knows he was in the wrong in the first place) My husband wasn't fined or anything else. This is the only time he has ever been in trouble of any kind. My CRB is totally clear.
I can understand why ofsted needed my husband to put all this in writing so they can make a decision as to weather grant me registration. I can't belive that this is happening. My husband is one of the most timidest person you will ever meet and is a well respected person. This was totally out of charactor for this to happen. I just hope ofsted see through this and grant me registration. We both love children so much and are unfortunate to yet to have children of our own. My husband is so proud of all the hard work i have put into this application so far, he tells everyone he can! I started all my hard work 12 months ago (had to wait for the 12 week course to start in september) and we have got this far, adpated the house, ive done all the paperwork, got four families ready and waiting to start with me and now this as come in the way of it all.
I am really sorry for the long post but i feel as though you are all my friends on here and you guys are the ones who would understand the most.
Has anyone else heard of anything like this and registration not be given or given?
Ofsted says it is standard procedure but still can't help but worry that i wont be granted my certificate because at the moment my application is 'disqualified'. This job means the world to me.

[funfunfun]

Oh now sorry to here this is happening

I think it is just standard they have to invsetigate everything as far as im aware !!

Mrs O said to me that if anything came up on the crb forms at all when they did checks that she would be back out to interview either me or my partner !!

I hope you get sorted soon xxxxx

[LittleAcorns]

As hard as it is I'm sure its just them being super duper careful, as said anything at all will be checked.

Best of luck and I hope your process isnt delayed too much x

[Fabby]

I understand they need to investigate but all along i have mentioned about this caution and they kept saying it shouldnt be a problem because of the nature of the incident, but today when i spoke to someone at Ofsted, it didnt seem promising at all. It as kind of made me feel it is going be 50 50 as to weather i get registered. I feel like crying again, like i have done all day. Didn't have anything eat until 3pm! I offered to look after a lo free of charge so i didn't lose the business whilst waiting for my certificate but not even allowed to do that now ofsted said because my application is going through this process. So i had to call the parent and let her down which i really didn't want to. It's just made me feel so down about myself. I was on such a high and really couldn't wait to get stuck into this new job that i want so much.
Going get a pint of water down me because my head is banging!

[sarah707]

It's hard when CRBs drag things up from the past but as a parent myself I would want everyone in a childminder's house to be checked... it's just too risky otherwise.

I don't know what they will say, there is no rule book on things like this but there is an appeals process.

So if your registration is not granted you should be able to appeal and have it looked at again.

good luck with it all xx

[jules j]

So sorry to hear you're going through this,hope everything soon gets sorted for you and you can start minding.:) :)

[Fabby]

It just upsets me and frustrates me because it was something so petty and so out of charactor for my husband. He wouldn't hurt a fly as the saying goes! He wont even kill a spider if one goes running across the floor! Children love my hubby and he loves children too. We are god parents to our friends daughter and i am sure the lo loves my hubby more than she loves me...grrr!!
I hope i am worrying too much, i am a little worrier!!! Bet you can tell!? We personally went and hand delivered the waiver form and letters back to the Ofsted offices in Manchester which was a 2 hour round trip today i am that desperate to get this sorted.

[Carol M]

Please don't be disheartened, Ofsted send out these forms and letters which are not personal.
I am sure after investigation it will all be fine. You are not bad people and Ofsted will see that but they have to do this.I just wish they could word their forms and letters a bit nicer, iykwim!
I know a minder whose hubby had a similar thing and it didn't stop her registration. It was a "one off " just like your hubby .
Carol x

[Fabby]

Please don't be disheartened, Ofsted send out these forms and letters which are not personal.
I am sure after investigation it will all be fine. You are not bad people and Ofsted will see that but they have to do this.I just wish they could word their forms and letters a bit nicer, iykwim!
I know a minder whose hubby had a similar thing and it didn't stop her registration. It was a "one off " just like your hubby .
Carol x

Thanks Carol. I know, they certainly are standard forms! i dont know why they can't be more personal, because some circumstances are worse than others and this standard form and wording certainly made me feel like cr*p!

[margimum]

I'm sorry you are going through this.
My husband had a conviction for a fight he had before he met me... he was defending his sister from a violent ex..
We declared it all for his police checks and everything was fine.
However, it had happened over 10 years before I got registered, so was 'spent'.
This was 18 years ago and things have changed a lot since then, but hopefully Ofsted can see sense and let you register.
For the record, my dh is also a sweet, loving man.:blush: :blush:

[francinejayne]

Aw I'm sorry to hear about this, what a horrid situation for you to be in. I'm sure it will all be fine in the end. My friend (who comes on here too, so I'll PM her a link to this and maybe she'd like to respond) was in a similar situation only a couple of weeks ago. Her certificate came through last week :clapping: so I'm sure yours will be sorted soon.
Fingers crossed and chin up! Stay positive!
Big hugs
xoxoxoxox

[samkeddy]

Sorry to hear what your going through, id be really upset too, but im sure it will be ok, on my pre reg course the lady running it told us all more than once not to worry too much about what husbands or teenage childrens CRBs come up with as as long as it wasnt too bad or child related it shouldnt cause much of an issue.
Hope its all sorted for you soon x

[Fabby]

Thanks alot everyone, knew i would get support from you guys. That would be great Francine if you could do that. It would be nice to speak to someone who has been in a similar situation.
My head is still banging! I am not working at the mo because i gave my temp job up to start looking after this lo because i stupidly thought i would have my cert by now and would only loose out on a week or so money with not being able to be paid for the lo until cert arrives, so i think iam going get myself down the gym, put my earphones in and watch the morning t.v whilst having a workout then go in the jaccuzi and sauna in the morning! May relieve a little stress. x

[babs]

aww hun sorry u are going though this, im sure it will work out in the end.. hugs good luck..

[miffy]

Sorry you've had this set back, it must be so frustrating when everything else is in place and you're ready to start.

Hopefully it won't take too long for Ofsted to finish their checks. Keep your chin up and don't give up yet!

Hugs
Miffy xx

[The Juggler]

hope things get sorted out soon hon.x

[WibbleWobble]

i am so sorry you are both going through this. I dont think the powers that be realise the trauma they cause!

My ohs crb was ages to come back and i rang the crb folk to be told "they had found something":eek:

i know my OH was involved in a dispute with his brother over property and this brother used the police to intimidate my OH (they would come and arrest him on the say so of this brother and then find out later there was nothing to charge him with) the reasons for arrest got more and more nasty...IYKWIM!

eventually it all went to court regarding the property and my OH won....the judge made it clear that the bro was to stop the vendetta...and it did ...for a while!

We found out at xmas this bro has had his children taken off him due to neglect and abuse....we were devastated and considered taking these damaged little boys on..never met them...felt right!

we were advised by Soc Serv to keep away as the parents were "toxic".

the cRB came back for Oh...clean as a whistle...i was angry they had put us through this (OH was planning to move out as he was so ashamed) as they almost cost me my marriage.

stay strong

i know what its like...pm me if it helps

lots and lots lof love

mandy x

[Blue Boy]

Sorry to hear your news:( Hope you can get it sortd out soon.

[AliceK]

I'm sure things will be fine. I had similar problems with my OH's CRB. It was from years ago and nothing child related obviously but Ofsted made him jump thro so many hoops in order to get him cleared. It took a long time and a lot of patience on our part but it all came good in the end. My OH is a real gentleman he has respect for everyone and wouldn't hurt a fly. As I told the inspector on the phone "if I thought he was a risk to children do you really think I would have him in my house with our own 2 small children, believe me he would be out on his ear". (My exact words to her, I remember clearly the phone conversation with her)
Stay strong and positive, I know how hard it is. You WILL get there.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Fabby]

Thanks everyone, i do feel a bit better today now i have calmed down and been able to reflect on things and of course, after all of you posting supportive replies. I am sure it will be ok, they said they would come out and interview us both if they needed to, so if that was the case i know we wouldn't have a problem if they met us. They would see what kind of people we are. Im dying to ring them today but the lady said leave until Monday but think i will have to call before the weekend!! Well, got a relaxing day ahead of me.... ironing pile is shouting at me and got no excuse today! Even though i wish i was minding, had loads of plans but suppose i could save them and use them for the May hols!!! xx

[mojo0403]

Good luck with everything, fingers crossed for you x

[FussyElmo]

While I am really sorry for you for going through this and all the others who have had to go through it. But surely a couple of weeks inconvenience is better than someone slipping through the net (and I am not for one moment suggesting anyone oh's on the forum) and being a REAL danger to children.

Crb's have been proven before not to be infallible so if something does flag up (how insignficant it may be) it really does have to be checked.

I know its hard but when it all done with remember the reason why, its not blaming you and your oh's, but protection of the children.

I hope it is dealt with quickly and you are childminding very soon :thumbsup:

[mama2three]

Good Luck ,have they given you any indication how long it will take to reach a decision? The waiting is the worst isnt it , after that you can deal with whichever decision they come to ...

[Fabby]

While I am really sorry for you for going through this and all the others who have had to go through it. But surely a couple of weeks inconvenience is better than someone slipping through the net (and I am not for one moment suggesting anyone oh's on the forum) and being a REAL danger to children.

Crb's have been proven before not to be infallible so if something does flag up (how insignficant it may be) it really does have to be checked.

I know its hard but when it all done with remember the reason why, its not blaming you and your oh's, but protection of the children.

I hope it is dealt with quickly and you are childminding very soon :thumbsup:

Completely agree with you!

[Fabby]

Good Luck ,have they given you any indication how long it will take to reach a decision? The waiting is the worst isnt it , after that you can deal with whichever decision they come to ...


They couldn't give me an exact time scale as every case in an indivdual. What did tell me is that they have 30 days to make a decision but i am hoping it will be done well within that timescale.They obviously have to give a time scale like that so they can make sure it is done.

[king]

Aw I'm sorry to hear about this, what a horrid situation for you to be in. I'm sure it will all be fine in the end. My friend (who comes on here too, so I'll PM her a link to this and maybe she'd like to respond) was in a similar situation only a couple of weeks ago. Her certificate came through last week :clapping: so I'm sure yours will be sorted soon.
Fingers crossed and chin up! Stay positive!
Big hugs
xoxoxoxox

Hi im A friend of Francine. I had trouble getting my registration but I got it in the end, it is just so frustrating.
My crb is clear but when my husband opened his and said, "oh no", I thought he was joking. He was clear himself but it had a note on the bottom about his brother, who had been in trouble for being violent and denied access to his children. This was a shock because we have no connections with his brother at all. (He is 17yrs older than my husband). I rang Ofsted everyday and they finally said it has been passed to a desission making team, who are the inspecters and they are very busy. A week passed and still my case had not been delt with. I rang Ofsted so much I think they got fed up of me and got the job passed to someone else who rang me immediatly and came out the following day to interview us. We confirmed that we have no contact at all with his brother and I was asked questions about safeguarding. I then got my certificate the following week.
I am sure you will be fine and you will get your registration eventually. (Keep pestering). Its just the waiting and not knowing that is so frustrating.
Good Luck x.

[Fabby]

Hi im A friend of Francine. I had trouble getting my registration but I got it in the end, it is just so frustrating.
My crb is clear but when my husband opened his and said, "oh no", I thought he was joking. He was clear himself but it had a note on the bottom about his brother, who had been in trouble for being violent and denied access to his children. This was a shock because we have no connections with his brother at all. (He is 17yrs older than my husband). I rang Ofsted everyday and they finally said it has been passed to a desission making team, who are the inspecters and they are very busy. A week passed and still my case had not been delt with. I rang Ofsted so much I think they got fed up of me and got the job passed to someone else who rang me immediatly and came out the following day to interview us. We confirmed that we have no contact at all with his brother and I was asked questions about safeguarding. I then got my certificate the following week.
I am sure you will be fine and you will get your registration eventually. (Keep pestering). Its just the waiting and not knowing that is so frustrating.
Good Luck x.


Hi, thanks for the advise. I am perstering!! They told me Tuesday leave until next week to call but i phoned yesterday!! ;) It is with the decsion maker now but she was in London yesterday so i am hoping she is going look at it sooner rather than later. It is just sooooooo frustrating but theres not much more i can do apart from to stay positive.

[miffy]

Hi, thanks for the advise. I am perstering!! They told me Tuesday leave until next week to call but i phoned yesterday!! ;) It is with the decsion maker now but she was in London yesterday so i am hoping she is going look at it sooner rather than later. It is just sooooooo frustrating but theres not much more i can do apart from to stay positive.

At least you know it's with the right person now.

I would ring tomorrow morning and see if you can find out what's happening.

Fingers crossed

Miffy xx

[Fabby]

*******UPDATE******

Had a call today of the inspector who is dealing with my application. She is coming out next week, think Thurs. My hubby just needs to confirm with work etc. Wish it was sooner than that though :( Anyway, at least now we can show her exactly what the kind of people we are and to prove that children would be very much safe in my care. I can't believe that this is even being questioned, well i can because this is procedure and the law, but at the same time it is very frustrating. I have never wanted anything more than to do this award filling job and everyone who knows me, knows exactly how much this means to me. I so hope i am worrying about this too much and i get my well deserved certificate. All the hard work i have already put into it makes me cry at the htought it could all of been a waste of time. Anyway..... stay positive, thats what i have got to keep thinking xxx

[caz3007]

Be positive and I hope it all goes well next week :) Its probably just a case of another hoop to jump through

[WibbleWobble]

i am sending all my love to you both...xxxxx

[mamasheshe]

Hi im A friend of Francine. I had trouble getting my registration but I got it in the end, it is just so frustrating.
My crb is clear but when my husband opened his and said, "oh no", I thought he was joking. He was clear himself but it had a note on the bottom about his brother, who had been in trouble for being violent and denied access to his children. This was a shock because we have no connections with his brother at all. (He is 17yrs older than my husband). I rang Ofsted everyday and they finally said it has been passed to a desission making team, who are the inspecters and they are very busy. A week passed and still my case had not been delt with. I rang Ofsted so much I think they got fed up of me and got the job passed to someone else who rang me immediatly and came out the following day to interview us. We confirmed that we have no contact at all with his brother and I was asked questions about safeguarding. I then got my certificate the following week.
I am sure you will be fine and you will get your registration eventually. (Keep pestering). Its just the waiting and not knowing that is so frustrating.
Good Luck x.

why would it affect your capability of looking after children safely, that your partners brother had been involved with social services have i got this right crazy

[angeldelight]

*******UPDATE******

Had a call today of the inspector who is dealing with my application. She is coming out next week, think Thurs. My hubby just needs to confirm with work etc. Wish it was sooner than that though :( Anyway, at least now we can show her exactly what the kind of people we are and to prove that children would be very much safe in my care. I can't believe that this is even being questioned, well i can because this is procedure and the law, but at the same time it is very frustrating. I have never wanted anything more than to do this award filling job and everyone who knows me, knows exactly how much this means to me. I so hope i am worrying about this too much and i get my well deserved certificate. All the hard work i have already put into it makes me cry at the htought it could all of been a waste of time. Anyway..... stay positive, thats what i have got to keep thinking xxx

Glad to hear you are staying positive

Good luck for next week

keep us posted

Angel xx

[mayberry]

I hope things get sorted out soon

Dawn xx

[Mookins]

*******UPDATE******

Had a call today of the inspector who is dealing with my application. She is coming out next week, think Thurs. My hubby just needs to confirm with work etc. Wish it was sooner than that though :( Anyway, at least now we can show her exactly what the kind of people we are and to prove that children would be very much safe in my care. I can't believe that this is even being questioned, well i can because this is procedure and the law, but at the same time it is very frustrating. I have never wanted anything more than to do this award filling job and everyone who knows me, knows exactly how much this means to me. I so hope i am worrying about this too much and i get my well deserved certificate. All the hard work i have already put into it makes me cry at the htought it could all of been a waste of time. Anyway..... stay positive, thats what i have got to keep thinking xxx

will be thinking of you both

x x x

[Fabby]

why would it affect your capability of looking after children safely, that your partners brother had been involved with social services have i got this right crazy

It all boils down to safeguarding. My husband's incident was with a grown man... not a child, but they want to visit so they can be seen to of investigated it all, just if i ever i was that kind of person they can say that they did everything to check that i wasn't or my hubby wasn't iyswim. This is why it is so frustrating for us, but it's got be seen to be checked. Suppose they don't know us from adam. She also said, the reason they visit is just to confirm what my hubby put in his covering letter to go with the waiver form because she said anyone can write this!! Well i am prepared for the questions about safeguarding she will throw at me and i am also going get my husband clued up on it before thursday aswell !! Lots of bedtime reading for him!! (even though he isn't the childminder :rolleyes: )



Just want to say, thankyou to you all who have left me kind words of support. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[HomefromHome]

have pm'd you :D

[Cazz]

I'm really sorry to hear you're going through all this.

Good luck for Thursday - sending positive vibes your way and keeping everything crossed for you.

From reading this you sound like a lovely caring person who would make a wonderful childminder - I sincerely hope that Ofsted see this as well.