Is she asking me to let her off paying?!

[snufflepuff]

Mindees mum called at 7.50am to ask if it would be ok to come a bit early today as she wants to get in to work early and shes been up since 5am. I agreed and she got here at 8 (contracted for 8.30) She usually just passes LO over at the door but today she came in and chatted until 8.30 so she would have got to work at the normal time still!
Anyway, she was telling me how she needs to ask her boss for an advance on her wages because they have no money left, they are overdrawn and have bills to pay. Her words were 'we have nothing left- i cant buy food, cant get any petrol, cant pay you.....' and i just said 'what a nightmare'....but i think she was expecting me to say she could pay me late.
Im worried that if her boss wont let her have an advance she will ask me if she can pay late (or even worse, TELL me she cant pay!) Now, theres no way im letting this happen, but i just dont know how ill say no to her! shes a good friend and i dont want to see her struggle, but i need the money and if i let her off once she will do it again.
None of my business of course but i dont understand how they are so skint- they earn more than us, their outgoings are much lower than ours, but they always struggle whereas we have never been overdrawn or owed money. (Not saying things aren't tight sometimes of course, for example the £700 to get the car fixed wasn't nice!)

[Ripeberry]

Bit strange, do you have a late payment fee. Just tell her that if she pays late then the fee will apply. Sounds like they need some money management skills :mad:
Lets hope the boss is understanding.

[Goatgirl]

Hi :),
Well hopefully she'll manage to get the advance and all will be well. If so, it might be a good idea, when she tells you she can pay on time, to say 'what a relief, it would've been even harder if you'd had to pay 'late' charges on top of your bill', ... or something along those lines. After all if you don't get paid your bills don't get paid, you get charged for bounced cheques, unpaid dd's, your bank will not be happy etc.

If not, and she says she cannot pay, then at least you are forewarned. What would you do if it was another parent (i.e. not a good friend) and they said they couldn't afford to pay? Do you have a fees and charges policy? Or maybe, if she really is a good friend, you could accept payment in parts for this payment only, but with charges on top for it being late, which would put her off trying it again next time.

At the end of the day, a good friend doesn't get into this situation without very good reason - did she give you any?! Her financial management problems are hers, not yours and its not fair for her to pass her difficulties on to you. Stand firm. I know its hard, but a friend who would expect you to put up with this is not a friend worth having.

Hope it all works out :).

bws, Wendy

[suzyblue]

Its not your problem - does sound like she was 'preparing' you though!
Stick to your policies, you have bills too.

[Spangles]

Doesn't she realise that you are 'one of her bills' - I bet she has no intention of not paying the others so why would it be different with you?

I agree that she does seem to be paving the way to tell you she can't pay on time. That's not fair on you at all so I hope that doesn't happen but, if it does, you need to make sure she knows that you need to be paid just the same as everyone else.

I would also mention the late fees charge too if you have these.

If she's a friend she really shouldn't do this to you.

x

[jelly15]

Yes she is hinting, I would ingore her comments unless she asks/tells you outright. Then I would remind her you are running a business and this is your income and you have bills too. Then if you have a late payment policy tell her you will be implimenting that soon.

[Pipsqueak]

Sounds like she was trying to forewarn you.
At the end of the day you are a business and I would say in the majority of circumstances you have bills to pay to - you have provided a service to which she has signed a contract for.
Perhaps and this is only a suggestion - if she does broach you about it further - you could suggest that you take a part payment and the rest can be made up next week. Ie a payment plan
But make it clear that you are under no obligation to do this and it is a one-off.

I have, offered a parent once before a weeks grace and they were very grateful and I did recognise they weren't trying it on.

I know what its like to be in that position and its hateful and horrid - wondering whether to feed the kids or pay the bills.

the decision is entirely yours and I would only do it for people who I trust - ie those who have never messed me around before, been honest and upfront etc and providing I am not wondering whether to feed my kids or pay a bill and it would not be a regular occurance

[snufflepuff]

Thank you ladies. Im glad you agree that she was trying to hint to me!
I can't let her pay late, its not something i want to start doing. Plus if the situation is that bad who is to say she might not be able to pay me next week either?!
It will be hard and id feel terrible doing it but id just have to say i cant afford to help her out. And if she literally does not have the money to pay me then ill have to put the late payment charge on top. Its all in my policies so i need to stick to it.

[Pipsqueak]

Thank you ladies. Im glad you agree that she was trying to hint to me!
I can't let her pay late, its not something i want to start doing. Plus if the situation is that bad who is to say she might not be able to pay me next week either?!
It will be hard and id feel terrible doing it but id just have to say i cant afford to help her out. And if she literally does not have the money to pay me then ill have to put the late payment charge on top. Its all in my policies so i need to stick to it.

you do what is right for you:thumbsup:

[snufflepuff]

Well, when she picked up LO she said 'my boss was fine about the advance, so its ok, i can pay you.'
So she really was trying to tell me that she might not be able to pay me! How flippin rude! Why is it that paying for your childcare comes at the bottom of the list if bills?!

[jelly15]

Glad it is sorted for you. I have parent who used to forget to pay me, had to be firm and seems ok now.

[carol cameron]

What a horrible position to be in. Glad it is sorted and I quite agree , why the parents think it would be fine to use our service and then not pay is beyond belief sometimes. I had one mum turn up on Friday and say "Oh I forgot to go to the bank".I finally had to text her yesterday and remind her that fees were overdue but even though she paid me yesterday I didn't get an apology.:angry:

[babs]

glad its sorted for you but if shes had advance this week what about next, surely if things are tight shes not going to be able to pay next week as shes had money this week .. if u get what im trying to say.

[snufflepuff]

Thats exactly what i was thinking Babs! I wont be surprised if it happens again to be honest.

[Desi-101]

A very hard one to ponder! if all fails for them you are sadly not a "priority debt" if she doesn't pay or can't you may have to say you can't childmind until payment or it may drag on and you are left out of pocket permanently. Don't be fooled by thinking they earn/have more they are probably in debt so don't end up being their scape goat and mind for nothing you have bills and responsibilities as well. Good luck, I know it can be hard as you may be close friends but friends don't pay bills!

[angeldelight]

Thats exactly what i was thinking Babs! I wont be surprised if it happens again to be honest.

It more than likely will

Glad you sorted it this time though

Angel xx

[terrydoo73]

I had this experience of someone "hinting" and then actually not paying me. I rang up my local NICMA office and their advice was "withdraw services immediately" - easier said that done when it is a "friend"! I eventually had to take her to small claims and managed to get my money plus interest plus costs but it took over 2 years!