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janice
21-03-2010, 10:22 AM
I have just had little boy 12 days ago, & asked another Childminder to look after my one Childminded child while i took 2 weeks off, I worked right to the end of my pregnancy which was a struggle & informed the parent i would return after 2 weeks with all being well.

The other Childminder who is a close friend made a Contract with mum to cover my maternity leave.. Now mum has decided not to come back to me & my friend is taking the child... My question is should my Friend say no, & if mum wants another childminder to find somebody else?? Or was she right to say Yes and take the child? Mum was happy with me right up to my last day and was happy to come back to me so i am kind of shocked...of course I dont know what was said between my friend and the mum whilst I was off.


I am gratefull of any input as right now I fell completely betrayed, or am I over reacting?

moogster1a
21-03-2010, 01:14 PM
That's awful. Personally, I don't think I'd have taken on the child as I wouldn't be able to look my friend in the eye again. I'm expecting a baby in July and have also arranged temp. cover for a few weeks. I'd be devastated if a so-called friend did that to me.
As for the mum, can you ask her why she's not returning?> Also, will she still owe you notice period fees?
Seems very ungrateful when you worked right up to your due date and were planning on only taking 2 weeks off.
On the positive side, if that was your only mindee, you won't be much worse off financially by claiming standard maternity pay at something like £120 a week. Then you can take up to nine months off!!

The Juggler
21-03-2010, 01:16 PM
I would feel the same hon. To be honest you've nothing to lose by asking mum why she has changed her mind. I'd be wondering if my 'friend' had undercut me offering a cheaper rate, or perhaps she offers a cheaper rate normally hence mum sees the saving.

If that's all it is, could you match it for the sake of keeping the child? Mind you I'd be pretty annoyed to have pushed myself so hard to the end of my pregnancy to have that happen. Might be tempted to find out then keep it as future information, enjoy a longer maternity leave with my gorgeous baby and advertise ready to start in a few months (if you can afford it).

Congratulations by the way.

Let us know if you find out what happened.x

Spangles
21-03-2010, 01:26 PM
Congratulations!

I agree with the above. You've got nothing to lose at all by asking the mum for her reasons. That's such a shame especially when you worked right to the end and it was such a struggle.

Did you find out from the mum or your friend? Couldn't your friend tell you the reasons for this change?

Mookins
21-03-2010, 04:30 PM
i would say that if she was any friend she wouldnt the child on but these are times where we take all we can...but she should be thinking of you too...personally i wouldnt worry too much and just enjoy the time with your new member

congratulations :clapping:

babs
21-03-2010, 04:38 PM
i would be so miffed about this . 1) id asked parents why the sudden change of plans, when it had all been arranged you would only take 2 weeks off .. 2) id be having words with my so called friend asking what had been said and why she had arranged this behide your back..

on the bright side enjoy your little boy this is the best time of his life and if u miss anything u cant get it back....

Chatterbox Childcare
21-03-2010, 04:43 PM
I would be furious with my "so called" friend and would have a word to see what has happened before tackling the mum. It may be that your friend works differently to you and the child prefers it and if that is so then I would expect the friend to tell mum to speak to you and explain before agreeing to take the child on.

As others have said as this is your only one claim maternity leave and get more time with you new addition and advertise.

On top of that hope the friend is not an "ex friend". This has happened to me and my friend and I worked through it and are friends now. She admits that it was wrong but it was the mums decision.

Blaze
21-03-2010, 04:53 PM
Firstly ( & most importantly):clapping: CONGRATULATIONS!:clapping:

Ok to play devil's advocate - if it is a case of for whatever reason the parent has decided to use your friend - then your friend should take the LO on...that is presuming your friend hasn't purposefully undercut you or put doubts into this parent's mind about you for the purposes of poaching...& if the have then they are no friend at all & if the parent has gone with the other CM because of this then you are better off without them anyway!...unfortunately it's a risk we take when cover is arranged that the parent may decide to stay & if the other CM is not at fault in anyway then, especially in the current financial climate I don't blame them for taking the LO on...it's not fair on you, but it's the nature of the job & personally I would look on it as a blessing in disguise & enjoy the extra time off with your bundle...life is too short & time passes too quickly to waste these precious first moments worrying about things that you have no control over...give your bundle a kiss from me. x

little_gems
21-03-2010, 04:53 PM
this actualy happened to me i was coving maternity for another CM and the parents have asked if they can stay here instead of going back, it took me a while and i asked why and they said it was bacuse im closer and if they didnt stay here then she would find someone else. SO i decied to keep them, i feel so bad to my friend but as these are my main earners i couldnt really turn down the money!!

But on the other hand when i had my little boy i was only going to take a few weeks off then go back but when parents told me they were going to stay where they were i ended up taking nearly a year off.


PLEASE don't all hate me!! I still feel bad and my friend did say that she didnt mind as she was thinking about not coming back after 9 months and this just made her discion easier.

Mookins
21-03-2010, 05:00 PM
this actualy happened to me i was coving maternity for another CM and the parents have asked if they can stay here instead of going back, it took me a while and i asked why and they said it was bacuse im closer and if they didnt stay here then she would find someone else. SO i decied to keep them, i feel so bad to my friend but as these are my main earners i couldnt really turn down the money!!

But on the other hand when i had my little boy i was only going to take a few weeks off then go back but when parents told me they were going to stay where they were i ended up taking nearly a year off.


PLEASE don't all hate me!! I still feel bad and my friend did say that she didnt mind as she was thinking about not coming back after 9 months and this just made her discion easier.

silly billy...no hating here hun:)

x x x

devoncm
21-03-2010, 05:07 PM
First of congratulations!

I know how you feel, ive been on mat leave for a week planned to work right to the end but she as decided she is going to be a late baby instead of on time, parent found another cm to cover me, i know her but not that well, another cm mentioned that the mum ad rang her asking but care but mum didnt say was just covering and may not to the other cm either, i asked parent if her children were def coming back to me and she said they were as they love it here, i said she may want to say to other cm its just to cover, since leaving mum has said that if her children like it with the other one she may keep them there as she thinks 2 weeks off isnt enough and wouldnt be fair on all the children, i have since heard she didnt say anything to other cm as she didnt know they even had another cm! so im on leave getting pittance maternity pay and have no idea if they are coming back to me, in the meantime i am getting enquiries and dont know what to say.

Anyway back to your problem, sorry:blush: , if it were me doing the cover i would probably say no but would probably talk it over with you first but prob say sorry couldnt do it.

suzyblue
22-03-2010, 08:04 AM
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
I cover for my childminder friend in the hols as she works term time only. I charge less than she does and the kids love coming here but I woudnt take her children from her and her parents wouldnt ask me too!

haribo
22-03-2010, 09:36 AM
i would be upset if i lost a child to a childminder i had arranged to cover for me. i once looked after twins for a cm friend of mine for 2 weeks when she went on holiday . mum decided they liked it here more than my friends and begged me to keep them . the money was fantastic but to me a friend was worth much more and i had to say no . :panic:

youarewhatyoueat
22-03-2010, 12:55 PM
I personally wouldn't want someone who had just had a baby looking after my children especially before the 6 week check up. Do you think this may be the reason. I was very tired after having children and wouldn't have wanted other peoples children around, she may be thinking that after sleepless nights etc your mind may not be on the job or you may not want to get out if the weather is cold etc.
I'm only speculating and trying to think what she may be thinking, and you don't know what she has said to the other childminder, if she has said to her that she no longer wants you to care for the child its not really her fault and may be embarrassed. She may think the mum has already given you notice.
Hope it all works out, enjoy a bit of time off. xx

cuffleygirl
22-03-2010, 01:21 PM
I work very closely with a very good friend who is also a childminder, I cover her school hols - she is term time only.

Last summer I covered a lo, and ending up keeping her - sounds bad but my friend didn't want to do hols or a Friday, which parents needed and in the end the parents wanted continuity of care - we are both good friends with parents too - I spoke to my friend and asked how she felt - I'd had a couple of enquiries I passed her way (term time) and lo stayed with me - my friend had always felt bad about parents struggling with the Friday and the hols so relieved in a way - she ended up with a child whose hours suited her and her setting much better.

But we talked about it - it wasn't underhand in anyway, and if she had wanted to keep lo that would have been fine too!

Tatjana
22-03-2010, 06:47 PM
I'm sorry you're in this position, I must agree with others that this 'friend' clearly isn't one if she's doing this, she must know how much it means to you to have this mindee as it's your only one, that you worked upto due date and are returning after such a short time off.

I would confront her about it.

Congratulations on your baby!:thumbsup: :jump for joy:

xx