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terrydoo73
18-03-2010, 01:13 PM
I know this has been discussed before and my apologies but am looking for a solution to a problem I have with my 4 year old mindee at home time.

Her mum has no definate set time to come for her - anything from 4.30 to 5.15 really so I cannot be prepared and have her coat on etc etc.

When mum comes the little girl hangs back either in my living room or the playroom with almost like a smirk on her face as though she wants a game of running and hiding from mum which is exactly what happens when mum says come on - she runs away through the house squealing at the top of her voice no no no. She is 4 years of age. If mum reaches for her before this she starts this crying with tears running down her face and shouts dont touch me or leave me alone.

The other evening my daughter tapped her on her back to motion her to go to her mum - the child ran to mum shouting "L pushed me" and crying. Mum looked at both me and my daughter without saying anything but I could tell she was really annoyed and upset at my way/my daughter's way of dealing with this situation. She is not someone you could sit down and discuss a possible solution to this whole episode at night. She normally would turn around and shout at me or my daughter just leave her along she is my daughter and I will deal with her.

I normally take the policy that once the child is outside my door I close it so she cannot come back in and let mum run around and around the yard or car until she has got her and straps her in - by which time the child is distraught, in tears and really angry.

Please help me - bar sending the child outside for the hour before mum comes I don't know what to do. At present my calming method before mum comes is a dvd which she loves to sit on the sofa and watch but it is like world war 3 as soon as mum taps on the door at home time.

Alibali
18-03-2010, 01:15 PM
Can you explain to Mum that it would be easier if child was prepared for home time in advance and ask her to give you a phone call when leaving to collect her? 2 of mine do this as they understand it is easier if child is ready to be handed over at door.

avril
18-03-2010, 01:18 PM
Try not opening the front door until the child has their coat and shoes on so parent does not come into your home.

I know this sounds a little harsh, I did this with an ex mindee that always ran and hid at home time it drove both me and parents to distraction as she could refuse to go home up to 15mins :( But I must admit this was done with the parents permission and soon solved the problem (mindee was 3yrs old).:thumbsup:

terrydoo73
18-03-2010, 01:22 PM
Can you explain to Mum that it would be easier if child was prepared for home time in advance and ask her to give you a phone call when leaving to collect her? 2 of mine do this as they understand it is easier if child is ready to be handed over at door.

Good solution but I know mums immediate reaction - have enough to do in the evenings without having to make a phonecall to you!

terrydoo73
18-03-2010, 01:22 PM
Try not opening the front door until the child has their coat and shoes on so parent does not come into your home.

I know this sounds a little harsh, I did this with an ex mindee that always ran and hid at home time it drove both me and parents to distraction as she could refuse to go home up to 15mins :( But I must admit this was done with the parents permission and soon solved the problem (mindee was 3yrs old).:thumbsup:

Will try this but I am not sure how mum will react. Child never puts on coat in the evening and usually mum carries her out without the shoes on.

sandy64
18-03-2010, 01:25 PM
in that case put shoes on at 4.30 and coat nr door then when she knocks put coat on hold lo hand and say goodbye:) i no its hard been there i had to do this as mum wouldnt ring and it did work i also told lo why i was doing it good luck:)

terrydoo73
18-03-2010, 05:04 PM
Well dad just collected little girl. When I saw his car pulling up, I switched off the TV took her by the hand, gave her her little bag and coat and she ran out to meet him without any fuss at all - it worked! So relieved and my daughter was too! Hopefully can continue this tomorrow and next week.

miffy
18-03-2010, 05:10 PM
Well dad just collected little girl. When I saw his car pulling up, I switched off the TV took her by the hand, gave her her little bag and coat and she ran out to meet him without any fuss at all - it worked! So relieved and my daughter was too! Hopefully can continue this tomorrow and next week.

Well done!

Hope that will solve the problem for you :thumbsup:

Miffy xx

little_gems
18-03-2010, 08:12 PM
well done i hope it carryies on for you