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emma04
11-03-2010, 03:34 PM
Not wanting to sound odd or anything or a kill joy. But does anyone think that mindees kissing each other is a good thing??

I've never really thought about it until recently when one of my mindees was full of cold and coughing his parent told him kiss one of my other mindees bye bye.
I said 'just a quick one on the cheek then, cos we're all a bit snotty today' Parent then replied 'oh i never thought about the germ spreading'.

Anyway, I thought she was fine with it until today! She went to kiss her lo goodbye and her turned his head for her to kiss his cheek and she said 'excuse me! on the lips please....I won't tolerate this silly not kissing on the lips performance!!!' I took this, that she was having a dig at what i'd said the otherday.
Am i wrong to have concerns about the children kissing each other??:panic:

mamasheshe
11-03-2010, 03:36 PM
i don't make my dds kiss anyone, but if i kiss them i expect a kiss on the lips !:D

emma04
11-03-2010, 03:38 PM
i don't make my girls kiss anyone, but if i kiss them i expect a kiss on the lips though!:D

Yes me too, providing any green candle sticks have been suitably wiped away!:laughing:

caz3007
11-03-2010, 03:38 PM
My children only kiss family. Two of my little mindies want to kiss each other goodbye of their own accord, though they are under 3. One of them always wants to kiss my DS, but at 7 he wont do it, if they want to kiss me goodbye, I allow it on my cheek, but thats it. Seems rather unfriendly for me to refuse

mamasheshe
11-03-2010, 03:42 PM
Yes me too, providing any green candle sticks have been suitably wiped away!:laughing:

yep this is our policy to :laughing: :laughing:

Mollymop
11-03-2010, 03:59 PM
My little ones are often kissing each other goodbye. If they are going to catch germs they probably would have already caught the cold, bug, etc before even having a peck on the lips:)

crazyhazy
11-03-2010, 04:04 PM
Not wanting to sound odd or anything or a kill joy. But does anyone think that mindees kissing each other is a good thing??

I've never really thought about it until recently when one of my mindees was full of cold and coughing his parent told him kiss one of my other mindees bye bye.
I said 'just a quick one on the cheek then, cos we're all a bit snotty today' Parent then replied 'oh i never thought about the germ spreading'.

Anyway, I thought she was fine with it until today! She went to kiss her lo goodbye and her turned his head for her to kiss his cheek and she said 'excuse me! on the lips please....I won't tolerate this silly not kissing on the lips performance!!!' I took this, that she was having a dig at what i'd said the otherday.
Am i wrong to have concerns about the children kissing each other??:panic:

I think you're probably being over sensitive in connecting the two comments, like the parent I prob say give x a kiss goodbye without thinking, so would prob have said it forgetting lo had the cold etc. But also like the parent, my two often try and give me a cheek when I ask for a kiss and I'll say nope a proper kiss!

singingcactus
11-03-2010, 04:15 PM
Seems an odd thing to say, that she won't tolerate not kissing on the lips!! Do people really insist that children have to kiss on the lips. I wouldn't be happy with my boy being made to kiss anyone on the lips, and I absolutely hate it when someone else's child grabs my son around either side of his head and forces their mouth onto his. He cannot stand it either.
Nope, that is yukky. If my son offers his lips to be kissed then that is okay - but no way would I force him to kiss me or anyone on the lips.

Blackhorse
11-03-2010, 04:18 PM
I would have a hard time stopping my dd giving kisses to everyone...:rolleyes:

as long as they are not completely covered in snot etc i dont mind.
i try and discourage it with heavy colds but if they are together all day anyways I hardly think it makes much difference

angeldelight
11-03-2010, 05:29 PM
My little ones are often kissing each other goodbye. If they are going to catch germs they probably would have already caught the cold, bug, etc before even having a peck on the lips:)

Same here

Does them no harm and most of the time it makes and encourages them to be nice to each other ( not that it always works though :laughing: )


Angel xx

TheBTeam
11-03-2010, 05:34 PM
I dont mind the little ones that want to kiss each other, as long as they dont expect me too!

I am not a kissy person and only kiss my two children and this is on lips/face whatever they want, it is also a joke of aunty chasing nephews to catch a kiss, but I dont really kiss the mindees, will cuddle them etc but dont do kissing!:blush:

youarewhatyoueat
11-03-2010, 05:53 PM
No kissing here, I certainly wouldn't encourage it, but i'm not a huggy/kissy type of girl when meeting friends either, so we are all different.
I've always been put off by coldsores!!!!!!

jelly15
11-03-2010, 05:57 PM
I don't make any child kiss anyone they don't want to. My family (DH not included) have always kissed cheeks as my sister had meningitis as a child and the doc said kissing on the lips was the worst thing for spreading the disease. My LOs parents always say kiss goodbye, but as I said if they don't want to that is fine. Los often kiss each other goodbye here.

Carol M
11-03-2010, 06:06 PM
Blowing kisses-thats what I do , unless child requests or offers!
I don't agree with a child being made to kiss anyone!!
Carol:)

Lady Haha
11-03-2010, 06:33 PM
I wouldn't feel comfortable if a mindees mum told her child to kiss another mindee goodbye! Maybe I'm a grump! They cuddle each other goodbye and thats friendly enough for me!

carol cameron
11-03-2010, 07:45 PM
I used to be a social worker so am probably over sensitive but while I have no problem with children kissing each other, I do say to my mindees to kiss on cheeks only, kisses on lips are for mammies and daddies.I still consider that it is protecting myself and the other children and we do share lots of hugs and kisses otherwise.:)

Winnie
11-03-2010, 08:26 PM
We hug here or blow kisses. There are a number reasons, affectionate children would be doing it all day, some children hate being kissed, coldsores, colds, HIV, snot, pandemic flu, and finally i do not kiss because i'm not a relative or close friend and so i do not think it is acceptable for me to kiss children ( i might bury my face in a baby's hair & snuffle :o but nothing more)

PRINCESSDAISYFLOWER
11-03-2010, 08:46 PM
HIV,

You def cant catch HIV from kissing!

Winnie
11-03-2010, 08:56 PM
You def cant catch HIV from kissing!

Maybe not, but you can if they bite.

PRINCESSDAISYFLOWER
11-03-2010, 09:01 PM
Maybe not, but you can if they bite.

Only if you bite the mindee too, it must be blood to blood contract. I volunteered in Uganda with many children with HIV and could kiss and cuddle them with 100% confidence that i would not catch HIV.
There are so many mis-conceptions about it, its quite sad

Winnie
11-03-2010, 09:06 PM
Only if you bite the mindee too, it must be blood to blood contract. I volunteered in Uganda with many children with HIV and could kiss and cuddle them with 100% confidence that i would not catch HIV.
There are so many mis-conceptions about it, its quite sad

not a miss conception just a comment made in haste while I bounce from one thing to another, I could easily have said hepatitis

little chickee
12-03-2010, 09:24 AM
i wouldn't even suggest that any child has to kiss someone to say goodbye.

I just say "say goodbye to x" and let them decide if its a verbal goodbye or a kiss or a cuddle. If children want to kiss lips or cheeks thats their choice.

I pesonally think that to kiss on the lips is an intimate kiss and would only ever kiss my my hubby or kids on the lips and i woulnt want my hubby or kids kissing anyone else on the lips( although my eldest is 13 so its going to happen sometime!).

I was always told that you should never force or even encourage kids to kiss, hug or anything else unless they wanted to as a child protection issue. They need to know that if someone insists on a kiss cuddle or other intimate act they have the right to refuse and don't have to do it "just to be polite".

I was told this as a child and have always stuck to it. My oldest boys have always been affectionate to me and hubby but not keen on hugging or kissing anyone else and that was fine with me - its their personal choice.

My sister hugs me and we kiss on the cheek, same to my youngest who is tactile and my other 2 boys she shakes their hand!!

AnnieM
12-03-2010, 11:09 AM
I am a very kissy cuddly person, especially babies, I can't resist, :D but usually only cheeks, forehead or, of course, the obligatory tummy raspberry at changing time. :blush: However, I would never ask/force a child to kiss me or any one else, once they get past babyhood, it is only when they are asked for and usually on the cheek, but I did look after a little girl who was VERY kissy and always on the lips, only a problem when she had a cold, so I always had a tissue to hand. :p

Spangles
12-03-2010, 01:40 PM
I'm not a very touchy/kissy person and don't encourage my son to be either. Don't get me wrong, I kiss my hubby and children but not anyone else and I don't kiss them if they, or I, have stinking colds but then I have got a thing about germs! Ha!

No, couldn't bear to see my son or baby kissed by someone with a cold it would make my head explode! Ha ha! If I walk pass someone in the street who coughs or sneezes I hold my breath until I'm a good distance away! (Does that make me a bit mad?) :laughing:

Curly Quavers
12-03-2010, 06:44 PM
I have a mindee who sometimes wants to kiss me goodbye at the end of the day.

I always feel really awkward especially in front of LOs mum or dad just always turn my head so she kisses me on the cheek.

Would love to know what they thought at the time :rolleyes:

Tatjana
12-03-2010, 06:57 PM
The only people i've ever kissed on lips are men! I associate kissing on the lips as a sexual thing so wouldn't kiss anyone else on the lips, my own children included and neither would i want my children to kiss anyone on the lips.

xx

JJAY
13-03-2010, 02:16 PM
it's fine to kiss so long as both parties are happy with it. Everyone is different.

sillysausage
13-03-2010, 08:09 PM
The only people i've ever kissed on lips are men! I associate kissing on the lips as a sexual thing so wouldn't kiss anyone else on the lips, my own children included and neither would i want my children to kiss anyone on the lips.

I'm feel more or less like you on this one. I have always kissed my own children on the cheek, forehead, end of nose etc but rarely on the lips. If a mindee wants to give me a kiss then I offer my cheek and if a mindee wants a kiss then I will kiss their cheek. At the end of the day you have to go with what you are comfortable with.
I've no problems with mindees kissing each other but it is their choice. If they have hurt another child then I expect them to either say sorry or to show some other form of regret eg a hug, stroke, shake hands etc but they shouldn't force a hug/kiss etc onto a child who is not willing to receive the hug/kiss.
I have never felt uncomfortable giving a mindee a hug or kiss in front of parents, nursery teachers etc as it is always the child who instigates the hug/kiss......it would be cruel to turn them down. At the end of the day we are often as close to our mindees as their grandparents, aunts, uncles and other close relatives because they spend so much time with us. It's only natural that a child would want to show or be shown affection.

caz3007
13-03-2010, 09:53 PM
I had a little mindie a long time ago from the age of 5 months, when he got to a toddler he insisted in kissing my hubby goodbye when hubby went back from lunch, after all hubby kissed me and our ds bye. Hubby didnt mind as long as it was instigated by LO

Gizmo
13-03-2010, 10:03 PM
My own kids are always kissing the mindees the only time I have had a problem with it was dd1 6 and mindee 7 decided to get married and they got dressed up but then they had to kiss after they got "married" I put a stop to that one :laughing:

mamasheshe
14-03-2010, 10:49 AM
My own kids are always kissing the mindees the only time I have had a problem with it was dd1 6 and mindee 7 decided to get married and they got dressed up but then they had to kiss after they got "married" I put a stop to that one :laughing:

at least it was after they got married!!:laughing: :laughing:

emma04
15-03-2010, 04:37 PM
Thank you all for the interesting discussion on 'kissing'!

I think i shall stick to no kissing unless the children instigate it and only if they're clear of snot! :laughing:

Pipsqueak
15-03-2010, 05:14 PM
so at the next forum meet up do we all need stickers saying

no kissing
kiss me on the cheek
no hugging but high five me instead

:laughing: :laughing:

emma04
16-03-2010, 10:29 AM
so at the next forum meet up do we all need stickers saying

no kissing
kiss me on the cheek
no hugging but high five me instead

:laughing: :laughing:


Depends if anyones covered in SNOT!! :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: