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View Full Version : When you get anew parent round and they don't take the place..



Jelly Baby
06-03-2010, 05:51 PM
Do you know why?
Reading the other thread about engaging with the child, saying the right things etc do you sit and wonder afterwards why they didn't choose you?
I have had numerous ppl round in the past who didn't, people i thought would, my friend the same. Her main downfalls were her dog but she still got her mindees..mine i always thought was the house as small and now we have moved to a bigger one i think it cant be that! I'm not confident enough i don't think!
Wish we could know what went on in thier heads!!

Ripeberry
06-03-2010, 05:57 PM
I usually take their telephone numbers and e-mail details and then contact them in a few weeks (4) and ask them if they have decided and then I just ask for feedback.
Most have been about, school runs, no other children of their child's age.
Those two things I can't help as I have to drive to school (they wanted their baby NOT to be taken anywhere by car! :eek: ) and the other, well I'm just starting out! :rolleyes:

caz3007
06-03-2010, 05:59 PM
I have been really lucky. Only one parent who visited went to another childminder and even they rang up after a week and said we think we made a mistake, will take on our child and we now have a great relationship.

I have a dog and my house is often a mess, although I do clean and tidy extra for visits. I try to be myself when I have parents visit and chat to the children. I dont do getting on the floor as my back and knees are bad, but do interact with the child and ask the parent lots of questions about the child.

Have had lots of parents sign up over the years, and two more in the pipeline. Perhaps you try too hard

Good luck

Tinglesnark
06-03-2010, 06:08 PM
well i do want to know and then when i find out i wish i hadnt asked haha
1st one didnt give me a reason, just said she preferred nursery
2nd one said her lad (6) didnt like younger children and needed contsant one to one :rolleyes:
3rd one said that she didnt like the ages of my lo's and didnt think i would be able to cope with her son too plus he didnt like other kids full stop :eek:
4th one was on the phone and got stroppy with me cos i had 2 kiddies under 3 and it wasnt convenient as her son would get bored :rolleyes:
then the last one is lovely and is my new starter :D i will ask her why she chose me - i do think i need a bit of a confidence boost for sure. i assume that my age, small house, dog and cat and deffo my boisterous little tots are my failings as far as the afore mentioned parents go but i personally only want to look after children whos parents are on my wave length because i do not have patience with these stroppy, awkward types and i would end up with a rep for being lairy - ive just got to the point where i refuse to be taken for a ride which is another reason for my wanting to be a cm so that i can be my own boss and choose whom i work for. i had a time waster on the phone yesterday who wanted to know the ins and outs of a ducks bum and then got all moany because - shock! horror! i have my own children! another childminder with children at home! whatever next?!
i told her that she would be better off getting her mother to care for her child or stay at home with him herself and that i couldnt help her as "my children come first. thank you very much, goodbye...." :angry: im dreadful with rude people i think its cos i spent a lot of my childhood being bullied and letting others treat me badly that now i refuse to allow it.

oooh rambleathon?! sorry hahaha! im premenstrual and incredibly trappy at the moment hahahah!

AliceK
06-03-2010, 06:10 PM
Hi
I've only so far had 1 who hasn't signed up and she did call me to tell me why (needed someone closer to home) she was a lovely lady and I thanked her for letting me know. BUT I wouldn't bother wondering why, only because having used CM's in the past myself with my DS I know it can be for the silliest most trivial reasons. I once turned down a CM because the hob on her cooker was dirty (not just a bit either) and I couldn't bear the thought that she would cook my DS's food on there :blush: . I think in all honesty you just know when someone is right, I think you know within the first few minutes and if they're not right it doesn't mean there is neccessarily anything wrong.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

mama2three
06-03-2010, 06:18 PM
i asked my first mindees mum why she chose me and she said the other cm she had seen said they didnt give the child a lot of veg as it gave them bad nappies!! so it was less of a case of choosing me than the lesser of 2 evils then!!

AliceK
06-03-2010, 06:20 PM
i asked my first mindees mum why she chose me and she said the other cm she had seen said they didnt give the child a lot of veg as it gave them bad nappies!! so it was less of a case of choosing me than the lesser of 2 evils then!!

:eek: thats actually hilarious :laughing: :laughing: . I can't believe some people.

xxxxx

caz3007
06-03-2010, 06:21 PM
i asked my first mindees mum why she chose me and she said the other cm she had seen said they didnt give the child a lot of veg as it gave them bad nappies!! so it was less of a case of choosing me than the lesser of 2 evils then!!

How weird that someone would do that though, not give a child a lot of veg and wonder how it even came up into conversation :)

button68
06-03-2010, 06:25 PM
I've only had one parent who visited and didn't sign. I'd been reccommended by a local CM who was full. She came with her son who was lovely got involved with the other kids straight away and cried because he didn't want to leave. Mum shushed him by saying "you'll come back to Mandy's soon"

2 days later got a 'Thanks, but no thanks' message on answer machine. I was a bit miffed that she'd broken my 100% success rate ;) but hey-ho.

Found out later, via the original CM that the reason she didn't chose me was that although she thought I was fantastic with the children and she liked my home etc.. she thought I was "too professional" with regard to fees ect... :rolleyes:

Looks like I lost it due wanting to be paid in advance, on time, and would impose penalties for late payment, late collection etc.... :laughing:

Guess she knew she wouldn't be able to manipulate me to suit herself ;) Lucky wasn't I :thumbsup:

caz3007
06-03-2010, 06:42 PM
With hindsight, bet you are glad she didnt sign up...looks like you may have had trouble :panic:

Ripeberry
06-03-2010, 06:47 PM
I've only had one parent who visited and didn't sign. I'd been reccommended by a local CM who was full. She came with her son who was lovely got involved with the other kids straight away and cried because he didn't want to leave. Mum shushed him by saying "you'll come back to Mandy's soon"

2 days later got a 'Thanks, but no thanks' message on answer machine. I was a bit miffed that she'd broken my 100% success rate ;) but hey-ho.

Found out later, via the original CM that the reason she didn't chose me was that although she thought I was fantastic with the children and she liked my home etc.. she thought I was "too professional" with regard to fees ect... :rolleyes:

Looks like I lost it due wanting to be paid in advance, on time, and would impose penalties for late payment, late collection etc.... :laughing:

Guess she knew she wouldn't be able to manipulate me to suit herself ;) Lucky wasn't I :thumbsup:

That's what I try and do. Just to weed out the ones who think they can wind you round their little finger ;)

~Chelle~
06-03-2010, 07:05 PM
I have been really lucky and have always been the chosen one lol:D

The little one who I look after who is nearly 3, was 6 months old when I took him on. Mum said that she saw 7 other childminders :eek: I remember the day they come to see me, the two 3 year olds that I looked after were running round like loonies, showing off etc.

The baby had just woken up and I asked to have a hold and I took him in the playroom (conservatory) as his mum said that he loved to look as the trees moving in the wind. I asked the boys to come and say hello and the baby loved it.

I convinced myself that they wouldnt use me as the little ones were very hyper but got the call a couple of days later to say that they would love for me to look after him. Asked why as I was shocked and she said that out of 7 childminders, I was the ONLY one to hold him:eek: Everyone else were all about terms and conditions and contracts etc and not one offered to hold him or interact with him.

She said that she loved the noise and bustle and that it would do him good to have other children around to fuss over him as he is the youngest of 4 children and his older brother was 18 and they were not having any more kids.

Sorry about the waffle on.

I would always like to know why or why not I had been chosen, so that in the future you know what to do to make people feel at ease.:thumbsup:

mushpea
07-03-2010, 09:38 AM
I would and then wouldnt, i would cause i am curious and want to know what i can improve on for the next time but then i wouldnt incase they say somthing awful:eek:
I posted the other bit because , although i only have 2 days left to fill and so wasnt acutaly looking for work, i have had 2 parents visit recently and not come back so want to get it right this time , i am also getting paranoid that i am doing somthing wrong on the visits and if i loose all my mindees i need to know that i can get more.
I did have 2 schoolies come before christmas to see me and they seemed happy and parent was happy and got a text newyears day asking when they could come sign contracts then at the arranged time i recived a nother text saying they didnt need me now. turns out that they found another childminder who i know to have the children because i could only offer 3 out of the 5 days they needed and she could offer all 5,, well, i see this cm up the school each day and what an aboulute hyper handful the children were, she has now given notice as they are too much! so glad i didnt take them on

helenlc
07-03-2010, 10:03 AM
If parents notify me by email, I email them back and say Thanks for letting me know. I also ask if they dont mind letting me know why.

Nothing has been too horrific and mostly about misundertsandings tbh (one lady said it was cos I had only been a CM for a yr - then I pointed out that in my Portfolio it says I have 15 yrs childcare experience in other child care fields!!).

I often think its to do with my area as its not the best in the town. When parents make arrangements to come and then not turn up, I often wonder if they have pulled up then pulled straight away again!!:laughing: I just wish they would give me the benefit of coming into my home and seeing what I have to offer and then make a decision.

I do think its worth knowing as you can put it right if you can. Another one of mine was that I didnt have a little brochure/leaflet with brief details about me on for parents to take away. So I did one of those.

Some things you cant change - I do 2 school runs a day in the car. This wont change as its for my own children and so is part of my day.

But i do think its worth getting feedback. As you say, when you then have future prospective parents, at least you could have put right something that might be putting them off.

Hebs
07-03-2010, 10:10 AM
my most recent mum had spoke to quite a few other minders, i got the kids both girls cos mum didnt want them being looked after by a minder who had a husband

:huh: not complaining tho :laughing:


and the other 2 (girl aged 7 months and boy aged 3) mum wasnt keen on the dogs, fair enough, she came with hubby who told her to stop going on about the dogs cos the kids will at some point come across them (he wants a dog she doesn't :laughing: ) so they signed :clapping:

mushpea
07-03-2010, 01:42 PM
my most recent mum had spoke to quite a few other minders, i got the kids both girls cos mum didnt want them being looked after by a minder who had a husband

:huh: not complaining tho :laughing:


and the other 2 (girl aged 7 months and boy aged 3) mum wasnt keen on the dogs, fair enough, she came with hubby who told her to stop going on about the dogs cos the kids will at some point come across them (he wants a dog she doesn't :laughing: ) so they signed :clapping:

I find with my dog its either a case of they love him or hate the idea of a dog being here, most of the parents i signed either had a child or they themesleves were frightend of dogs and didnt want their child to be scared and having met my dopy mut who cant be even be bothered to get out of bed when people visit they were quite happy to send their kids here.

Tina O
07-03-2010, 01:59 PM
;) you never know with some parents, the two I look after now (brothers) come to me because I attend Church regularly but the couple I spoke to last week didn't choose me because I go to Church regularly....... win some lose some!

loocyloo
07-03-2010, 04:51 PM
;) you never know with some parents, the two I look after now (brothers) come to me because I attend Church regularly but the couple I spoke to last week didn't choose me because I go to Church regularly....... win some lose some!

i once got a nanny job as DS and I ( and DH and now DD ) have biblical names !!!! she kept pointing out to me all the bible story books etc they had!

jumpinjen
07-03-2010, 05:50 PM
my most recent mum had spoke to quite a few other minders, i got the kids both girls cos mum didnt want them being looked after by a minder who had a husband

:huh: not complaining tho :laughing:


and the other 2 (girl aged 7 months and boy aged 3) mum wasnt keen on the dogs, fair enough, she came with hubby who told her to stop going on about the dogs cos the kids will at some point come across them (he wants a dog she doesn't :laughing: ) so they signed :clapping:

Aren't you gettin married though??

Jen x