help needed please (letter to parent)

[TRACEY1969]

i have been childminding for this parent for 12 months now and we have had our issues regarding holidays ( i have posted a few threads before about her). I feel she needs to know the boundaries of my business in a letter form as talking to her doesn't seem to work and i am close to terminating the contract.

Things that has happened recently

I have a week off due to my daughter turning 18 and had a house party last Sunday, the parent knew this and gave my daughter a birthday present and she said thank you. This parent then texts me 3 times on my daughers birthday wishing her a happy birthday, sending me pics of her son and then asking if the party was going well. I did not reply to any of the texts as i never had time, she then rings my home and asks to speak to my daughter to wish her a happy birthday again.
During my week off she then texts me again saying she hasn't confirmed my 2 weeks off this April and i can't have 2 weeks together. Cutting a long story short i told her i am as i have this in writting from her agreeing this. This parent seems to like attention and she seems to start arguements when there is no need to. I am at my wits end with her and i have in the past told her she needs a nursery not a childminder. Please could anyone give me advise. My contracts do state very clearly about holidays, but my time with my family i feel she likes to invade and she always brings up holidays which are booked and confirmed in writting by her (she has copies) then she argues about them near the time. Help please anyone.

[Zoomie]

Parent sounds annoying.

Can you not get yourself a minding only mobile and then switch it off when not minding, and maybe do a newsletter stipulating times that you available for consultation ....

Not sure about the holiday. Is she arguing about her own holidays or yours ????

Remember it is your business, so your rules. Tell her your holidays are not negotiable (provided you have given notice as per your contract) and that hers are not negotiable either, if it is less than the notice period required. Ie she has booked easter, she could probably change cos it is more than 4 weeks, but if it is less than that time, tough !!!!

[TRACEY1969]

Parent sounds annoying.

Can you not get yourself a minding only mobile and then switch it off when not minding, and maybe do a newsletter stipulating times that you available for consultation ....

Not sure about the holiday. Is she arguing about her own holidays or yours ????

Remember it is your business, so your rules. Tell her your holidays are not negotiable (provided you have given notice as per your contract) and that hers are not negotiable either, if it is less than the notice period required. Ie she has booked easter, she could probably change cos it is more than 4 weeks, but if it is less than that time, tough !!!!

if i don't answer my mobile when i an not minding for her she will ring my house phone and she has done this before and rung as late as 9.30pm and i have told her not to at this time. As for the holidays she didn't tell me that i wasn't allowed holidays when the children are on half term and i always spend time with my children even though the youngest is now 11 but i have holidays in school holidays and i have told her its against the law to take children out of school for holidays. Her firm doesnt allow holidays in term times and i have told her to speak to acast about this but its in her contract at work and i told her she should had been up front with me about hols and i don't think i would of provide child care for her.

[The Juggler]

hon, I had a parent like this once. it was only one day but she told me she couldn't let me have it! I nicely pointed out it wasn't really for her to tell me when I could take my holiday as long as I gave plenty of notice. Then she told me the following year it would not be on for me to take more than my 10 days paid holiday. I pointed out that she had 25 and statutory entitlement for everyone was 20 (at the time). I told her I needed to take a holiday as much as she did.

You have given plenty of notice for April. Maybe she has an issue with your total holiday in the year but she signed up knowing the full facts. Can you help her find cover for those weeks - that might pacify her a bit, but be strong and don't cave in.

I would say:

Due to recent discussions, I wanted just to remind you of the terms of our contract. I will take xxx days annual leave per year. I am required by the terms of the contract to give you xxx weeks notice, which I have always done to minimise any incovenience.

Should any of my holiday dates pose you a problem, please highlight these to me as soon as I inform you of my holiday as this will allow me to investigate the possibility of altering my dates (although I will not commit to doing so) or in assisting you to find alternative care for that period.

I know you find it difficult to cover my annual leave dates with your own holiday (not sure if that's true???) and if my annual leave continues to cause you a problem then perhaps, as we have previously discussed, nursery care might offer a better solution for you. Whilst I don't wish to lose your little one or your business, it seems like this would offer you more security in terms of year round care.

If you would like to, I would be happy to sit down and discuss this with you so we can iron out the issues.

Regards

[The Juggler]

if i don't answer my mobile when i an not minding for her she will ring my house phone and she has done this before and rung as late as 9.30pm and i have told her not to at this time. As for the holidays she didn't tell me that i wasn't allowed holidays when the children are on half term and i always spend time with my children even though the youngest is now 11 but i have holidays in school holidays and i have told her its against the law to take children out of school for holidays. Her firm doesnt allow holidays in term times and i have told her to speak to acast about this but its in her contract at work and i told her she should had been up front with me about hols and i don't think i would of provide child care for her.

it's nothing to do with her to 'allow you ' holiday in school holidays hon. Anyhow, it seems to make more sense for her to have her holidays in school holidays if her firm don't allow her term-time leave - she's contradicting herself!

[TRACEY1969]

hon, I had a parent like this once. it was only one day but she told me she couldn't let me have it! I nicely pointed out it wasn't really for her to tell me when I could take my holiday as long as I gave plenty of notice. Then she told me the following year it would not be on for me to take more than my 10 days paid holiday. I pointed out that she had 25 and statutory entitlement for everyone was 20 (at the time). I told her I needed to take a holiday as much as she did.

You have given plenty of notice for April. Maybe she has an issue with your total holiday in the year but she signed up knowing the full facts. Can you help her find cover for those weeks - that might pacify her a bit, but be strong and don't cave in.

I would say:

Due to recent discussions, I wanted just to remind you of the terms of our contract. I will take xxx days annual leave per year. I am required by the terms of the contract to give you xxx weeks notice, which I have always done to minimise any incovenience.

Should any of my holiday dates pose you a problem, please highlight these to me as soon as I inform you of my holiday as this will allow me to investigate the possibility of altering my dates (although I will not commit to doing so) or in assisting you to find alternative care for that period.

I know you find it difficult to cover my annual leave dates with your own holiday (not sure if that's true???) and if my annual leave continues to cause you a problem then perhaps, as we have previously discussed, nursery care might offer a better solution for you. Whilst I don't wish to lose your little one or your business, it seems like this would offer you more security in terms of year round care.

If you would like to, I would be happy to sit down and discuss this with you so we can iron out the issues.

Regards

phone numbers have been pasted on to her with my holdiay dates, but this other issue is she likes to cause arguments over anything and i think she could off not contacted me so many times on the daughters birthday. She even text my sister about her hair and she knew my sister was at mine that day.

[chels55]

sounds like she felt she was missing out on the party, maybe she thought you would invite her over when you saw her text

[The Juggler]

phone numbers have been pasted on to her with my holdiay dates, but this other issue is she likes to cause arguments over anything and i think she could off not contacted me so many times on the daughters birthday. She even text my sister about her hair and she knew my sister was at mine that day.

hate to say it hon, but she sounds a bit lonely. it's a bit child-like, the arguments are upset when she can't reach you? Also, may explain why she doesn't like you taking hols.

Anyway, I would just reiterate the facts in the letter and warn her it's got to stop. Maybe add a para:

"It is not acceptable to me, that I offer you help to find alternative care, and then later on you tell me my leave is not convenient because you don't have cover.

In addition, whilst I value our working relationship, on my days off or holidays, I do not wish to answer my phone to any work-related calls. Please do not be offended by this, it is nothing personal, it is just that I want to spend quality time with my family."

It's likely she's going to get the hump about this, but I think seeing it in writing will make her realise how she is interrupting your family time. You may risk losing her business hon, how prepared are you for that? You mentioned already that you'd said nursery was a better option, so if you're prepared, I would just go for it. People surprise you though. She may be really sorry and change.

Fingers crossed.