View Full Version : Is it ok to miss mindees?

19-02-2010, 08:25 AM
I started looking after twin boys (age 7) on Saturdays in 2004. Not having any children of my own at that time, we kept very active, zoos, parks, museums, shows, ice skating etc.

They left me in July, no notice given, Mum just said that she would let me know what other dates she had. I emailed Mum in December asking if they want to come ice skating with me (no charge) as they love going. Mum said they were busy that Saturday, but I didn't mention a date! I have asked for a reference, but Mum hasn't responded. They will be 13 tomorrow and both myself and my dh miss them both. I have sent cards, but wonder if they realise that I would have liked to stay in contact and that it is Mum that has broken contact not me.

My friends and family often ask how they are doing and when I say that I don't know they say it is sad, as we have always said that they will still be coming over when they are 18 and going to the pub with my dh!

Am I being silly? I have had younger children leave in the past, we usually have a party and say goodbye, it's still been sad, but I miss my chats wih the twins.:(

19-02-2010, 08:29 AM
That such a shame and I think it's perfectly natural to miss mindees (well some of them :rolleyes: )

They become such a part of our lives and I view them as extended family sometimes. I suppose you can't do much more than you have done though.

I bet they miss you too

19-02-2010, 08:47 AM
You wouldn't be human if you didn't get attached - that's what makes us good at our job - caring about our mindees but that's what also makes it hard sometimes when they leave!!!

The Juggler
19-02-2010, 09:56 AM
of course. I have an unexpected day off today and me and my two children are off to visit a mum and ex-mindee and the baby she left to have. We've been going to see them regularly since he left nearly a year ago. He was one of the sweetest little things. Kids can't wait to see them and neither can I.

Tina O
19-02-2010, 10:31 AM
It part of the job to get attached and miss them when they leave.

the twins are 13 now, a difficult age for kids and have probably moved on, ....I have a 14yr old son who this week wouldn't go iceskating with me, his dad and his brother when in the past he has loved it, (just wasn't cool!)

be happy that you gave the little boys a loving stable home to come to when mum & dad were busy and take heart that they have grown into teenagers, but i think you may have to let them go, but remember they will always remember you!!!!! and probably with love xx ;) ;)

19-02-2010, 11:52 PM
You are what makes a good childminder and if I was looking for one would want you! its a shame that with busy lives nowadays their mum just saw you as another tick off her list in her busy schedule.

Maybe you should give her a phone call again and ask for a reference and say you calling as a reminder, see what her response is, you may be surprised, maybe she is very busy and just forgot, which I hope she has. If you do phone her I would love to know the outcome, keep us posted!!!

20-02-2010, 12:29 AM
We do miss the majority of Mindees.
I have Mindees I still miss:( one left me, she emigrated:(
I stay in contact thru Email.
Some really do get to you, dont they!

I have one at the moment that i have really connected with, and its lovely:thumbsup:

20-02-2010, 07:52 AM
I think it is perfectly normal to miss them, however, I think in this case it is being made worse by not having answers or any sort of 'closure'.

For the Mum to treat you like that after so long is exceptionally wrong. If it was me, I'd be tempted to ring and ask if everything is ok and to ask if she could tell you why she left so abruptly after so long.

20-02-2010, 01:46 PM
Yes perfectly normal to miss mindees when they go, they become part of your life. I have one who left for secondary school last year and now she 'visits' most mornings for breakfast on her way to school and 3 afternoons on her way home so it can be the same for them also. I hope you manage to get through to them soon.