PDA

View Full Version : Ready to drop :(



newbie
18-02-2010, 09:20 AM
I'm sure I'm not the only one but by the time my last mindee is collected at 6pm I am ready to drop. Then's there's the task of getting my own children's homework sorted, bathed and into bed. And yet my hubby walks in from work at 7pm and can't see what all the fuss is about???? I am absolutely hanging by this point and yet he is expecting a meal cooked (we eat separately to the kids so have to do 2 dinners a day) and then also expects a bit of rumpy pumpy :blush: . He doesn't seem to understand why at this point I just want to crawl into my pit and sleep.

Last night I was in bed at 8.45pm cause I was ridiculously exhausted. When the alarm went off at 7am, I groaned and commented that I could stay in bed all day. Hubby said that I should feel refreshed and ready for my day cause I have had so much sleep. Is it just me or are you guys permanently knackered too?????

The Juggler
18-02-2010, 09:26 AM
not you! I stay up until 11 most nights then wish I'd had an earlier night. I do 2 dinners like you but hubby is a bit more understanding I have to say.

You should video a 'typical day' so he can see what you have to do! As for rumpy pumpy let's just say my dh doesn't expect and doesn't get disappointed, then if he does it's a bonus:blush: :laughing: :laughing:

brightstar
18-02-2010, 09:29 AM
My hubby can't grasp the fact that i'm on the go all day either. He moans when I say he doesn't do anything around the house and wonders why I am so tired some nights. I have pointed out the fact that I work a minimum of 10 hour days with very few breaks, if any, and that I start at 7am. But it still goes over his head. I think it goes with the job i'm afraid. Just think, we could be working 9-5 in an office, cowtowing to some useless boss :laughing: :laughing:

AliceK
18-02-2010, 09:30 AM
I'm so glad you posted this. I feel exactly the same. I'm up at 6ish doing the housework ready for first mindee to arrive anytime after 7.30. Then at the end of the day when last mindee goes then I have to start the bath times for my own 2 LO's then give them some time before I put them to bed, read stories etc then about 7.15pm I start cooking dinner for me and OH. I'm ready for bed by 9pm, sometimes fall asleep on the sofa before then. I'm sure my OH doesn't understand how tiring it is and why I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.

xxxxx

sandy64
18-02-2010, 09:38 AM
thanks thought it was just me lol its not case of starting at 8 finishing at 6 is it. but still love it been nice avin this week off tho

solly
18-02-2010, 09:44 AM
I am also ready to drop most nights and hubby never understands why i am so tired as i am at home all day, he is also at home all day as he works from home but he sits at the computer all day as where i am up and down like a yoyo and never really get 5 minutes to sit down. He can survive on about 5-6 hrs sleep a night, where as i need about 8 hrs a night to function properly the next day. It also doesnt stop when i finish at 6 as i then cook tidy up and catch up on all the paperwork we have to do as well

bandlady
18-02-2010, 09:48 AM
Hi I think most of us feel the same. I have been childminding for many years and have gone through times of sheer exhaustion and wondered what is the point but the one thing that kept me going was that i was at home with my kids and i wouldn't have wanted it any other way. My kids are now 15. 17, 23 and 25 and i look back and i am so pleased that i spent the time with them. I would also add that a lot of their long term friends are children that i looked after during their childhood. It is difficult to make our husbands understand that we are on the go all day and we are exhausted at the end of the day and i must admit we have had many words about this over the years but my advice would be try and work through it your memories of the good times will outweigh the bad ones and things do get better.

jaja
18-02-2010, 10:36 AM
My hubby didnt understand and then he spent a week with me and the kids over half term and his changed his tune, i made sure i had the busiest weeks and he now doesnt complain if his tea isnt ready and often comes home and starts tea, he helps to bath the kids and help around the house, but he complains that he doesnt get time off and i explain that neither do i..... lol....

It didnt used to be like this, i went off last year and got a full time job for 6 months and god he hated it, he couldnt phone when he wanted to talk or pop back for dinnner, or the house wasnt tidy, it was quiet and cold when he came home because he was back first and he had to do the cleaning after work and actually do more around the house than before and he hated it, he didnt like it a bit and complained... hes more settled now i am at home and i am more settled that he acutally understands what i do everyday and he appreciates that tea will be done when its done or he has to start it himself ( we eat at 530 in between my older children going home and the baby i have till 630pm....I do more hours than full time and he loves to help out when hes home...

I would suggest to anyone that they get there other halfs off and get them to spend the week with you working with you and they will change there tune....

Lol lol lol lol some men think that they have it hard but its harder to do this job and run a home and look after your own children.....

twiggy
18-02-2010, 10:42 AM
Yes I feel totally exhausted. I start at 6.30am 2 mornings a week and 7.30 3 mornings a week and then work 2 evenings until 10pm for children's services. Saturday mornings I do my husband's grandads cleaning. I'm really lucky as my husband prepares meals when he gets home from work for the next day so I just have to heat it up, he also does the cleaning for me when I work until 10pm.

He has had days off whilst I have been minding and can see why i'm shattered at the end of the day.

Winnie
18-02-2010, 10:46 AM
This is why i stopped doing long hours a few years after starting childminding. I did not want to live my life feeling like that and it had an affect on my children too, they never got any quality time with me. I will never start before 8 (7.30 at a push) and never mind more than 9 hours in one day :) thats the way i overcame this problem. And i insist on quiet time after lunch so i get to sit down too :D

Chatterbox Childcare
18-02-2010, 11:29 AM
I work from 7.15am to 6pm and during that time I cook a meal for everyone and it is reheated in the evening for me and DH (I never would cook twice). Sometimes I cook today and the mindees have it tomorrow.

What about putting everything away at 6pm, having dinner and then tv until the parents arrive? Whilst they are having dinner you can tidy up what is left.

It sounds like everyone is trying to do childminding whilst mindees are in the house and nothing else.

MissTinkerbell
18-02-2010, 11:48 AM
I'm also exhausted at the end of the day but luckily at the moment my own 2 are at preschool every morning and all day on a Thursday and my mindee is a big sleeper having 90 minutes in the morning and 60 minutes in the afternoon.

I try to get my housework and tea prepared (all cooked together and mine and hubby's is reheated once children in bed) whilst LO is alseep in the mornings. Thursday afternoons I try to write up my obs and do other paperwork, its usually quiet time while LO is asleep the other afternoons so I get to sit down and relax with my own 2 before the school run.

I used to work 7.30am until 7pm some days but now my first starts at 7.30am and they are all gone by 5.15 at the latest - no way will I do 7pm finishes again!!!

I refuse to do housework or paperwork in the evenings (12 years as a teacher taught me that if I can't get it done during the day - do I really need to be doing it?) as I need relaxation time and DH and I need our time together. Whilst I love my job I'm not prepared to let it spread into my time - saw too many teachers who did this and they were so miserable because their job was their life.

Mollymop
18-02-2010, 11:53 AM
I start work at 7am until 6 most days but I do odd jobs through the day - make pack ups in the afternoon and put them in the fridge ready - the mindees help me fold clothes ready for ironing, they help me make beds and wipe surfaces. After the school run I call it freeplay time - when they all have a quick snack such as a biscuit, at this time of day I sit with m y own children while they are doing their homework, reading and get that done.

I start preparing the dinner just before they leave at 5.30 so that it is cooked by the time hubs comes in at 6.15. then we all eat.

I have a bath at 7 after washing up and my kids jump in afterwards - they ar ein bed by 8.30 and I go to bed at 10.

I don't feel that knackered as I don't over do it in the evening. Try doing little jobs in the day and get the mindees to help you. see if it works for you

xx

cuffleygirl
18-02-2010, 12:08 PM
Newbie - you have just described my day to a tee! Early starts, own kids stuff, two dinners - sorry I want to have some time with my dh before I fall asleep - its the only bit our day that is just ours!

I'm often fit to drop and he gets cross when I fall asleep on the sofa and I'm tired for anything else!

What makes me laugh is whenever we go on holiday he says he needs to go back to work for a rest - that's with no mindees obviously! He forgets this within a couple of days. If he remind him - I'm nagging/moaning!

Tatjana
18-02-2010, 01:10 PM
I start work at 7am until 6 most days but I do odd jobs through the day - make pack ups in the afternoon and put them in the fridge ready - the mindees help me fold clothes ready for ironing, they help me make beds and wipe surfaces. After the school run I call it freeplay time - when they all have a quick snack such as a biscuit, at this time of day I sit with m y own children while they are doing their homework, reading and get that done.

I start preparing the dinner just before they leave at 5.30 so that it is cooked by the time hubs comes in at 6.15. then we all eat.

I have a bath at 7 after washing up and my kids jump in afterwards - they ar ein bed by 8.30 and I go to bed at 10.

I don't feel that knackered as I don't over do it in the evening. Try doing little jobs in the day and get the mindees to help you. see if it works for you

xx

I think this is appalling, I would be so angry if my child was doing this whilst in someones care! Surely you can't think it's ok have mindees do this??!:eek:

Mollymop
18-02-2010, 01:15 PM
I think this is appalling, I would be so angry if my child was doing this whilst in someones care! Surely you can't think it's ok have mindees do this??!:eek:

No my parents like that the children help me fold clothes and wipe surfaces!! haha:laughing: What is wrong with it?? DO you really think I get them doing all my house work!! What is wrong with teaching kids to fold clothes and to wipe a table every now and again - teh kids enjoy and the parents love that they l;earn life skills here!!!????:mad: Plus mind your own business!!

Tatjana
18-02-2010, 01:21 PM
No my parents like that the children help me fold clothes and wipe surfaces!! haha:laughing: What is wrong with it?? DO you really think I get them doing all my house work!! What is wrong with teaching kids to fold clothes and to wipe a table every now and again - teh kids enjoy and the parents love that they l;earn life skills here!!!????:mad: Plus mind your own business!!

You post on a public forum and then write this??? LOL!

I won't bother reply if you can't work our what's wrong with it and no amount of explaination will make it clear to you.

Enjoy being paid for getting your housework done :eek:

jelly15
18-02-2010, 01:26 PM
I sometimes manage to put clothes out on line during the day and if on the very odd occasion the 3 LOs sleep at same time do a little iorning. The only housework LOs do is tidy up toys and wash their own dishes with me standing next to them helping.

It is a home enviroment and light housework can be educational e.g. counting dishes, matching socks and learning colours of the clothes. However, I am looking foward to the day they can defrost the freezer and clean the oven by themselves;).

Mollymop
18-02-2010, 01:27 PM
No my parents like that the children help me fold clothes and wipe surfaces!! haha:laughing: What is wrong with it?? DO you really think I get them doing all my house work!! What is wrong with teaching kids to fold clothes and to wipe a table every now and again - teh kids enjoy and the parents love that they l;earn life skills here!!!????:mad: Plus mind your own business!!

You post on a public forum and then write this??? LOL!

I won't bother reply if you can't work our what's wrong with it and no amount of explaination will make it clear to you.

Enjoy being paid for getting your housework done :eek:

Getting my housework done??? What are you mad! I am a childminder - we can still do odd jobs round the house. Sorry you feel that what I do is so appalling when really all i do is learn the children life skills, don't worry it's not as if I do my ironing, decorating etc while I am minding - folding clothes - matching clean socks, helping me take their plates out while I am minding is not valuable skills for children to learn??
I think I actually do a good job.
I love it when littlest one tells me who's clothes they are and to watch them fold them with my help is just fab - I love it and so do the parents and children.
i hope you are not mistaken in thinking that I actually let them wash and mop my floors for me??
Like I said before we are childminders we are in a homebased setting so of course they are going to learn all about the home from being with us.
I remember one parent - they have left now unfortuantely was really happy that his dd had helped me make the beds that morning he even wrote it in my reference - that he liked that I encourage children to help and to learn life skills around the house.
I think we must have a difference of opinion that is all - no need to be so harsh lovey!!

sweets
18-02-2010, 01:33 PM
mollymop there is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with mindees helping around the house, as you say it is a life skill. my 4 year olds mindees treat of the week is when i let him get henry the hoover out on a friday aft, he does the lounge and dining room and does a good job too! his mum thinks its great as his dad doesnt do any housework at all and she doesnt want her son to be the same. even my 18mnth old mindee likes to follow me round with a duster.

i get most of my housework done during the week, i dont play with the children ALL the time as they need time to play by themselves and with each other without adult interference.

mammumof4
18-02-2010, 01:35 PM
ofsted like you to teach life skills, when i get a full timer that is old enough to help out this is exatly what i intend to do. kids love to be given little jobs, they love to please, of course you wouldnt make them do it if they didnt want to. dont let people bully you, yourdoing a great job hun xxx

Gizmo
18-02-2010, 01:36 PM
mollymop there is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with mindees helping around the house, as you say it is a life skill. my 4 year olds mindees treat of the week is when i let him get henry the hoover out on a friday aft, he does the lounge and dining room and does a good job too! his mum thinks its great as his dad doesnt do any housework at all and she doesnt want her son to be the same. even my 18mnth old mindee likes to follow me round with a duster.

i get most of my housework done during the week, i dont play with the children ALL the time as they need time to play by themselves and with each other without adult interference.

I must admit I am the same most of housework gets done through the day and I just run round with the hoover when the kids leave, it gives me my evening and weekends for the family :thumbsup:

mammumof4
18-02-2010, 01:36 PM
mollymop there is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with mindees helping around the house, as you say it is a life skill. my 4 year olds mindees treat of the week is when i let him get henry the hoover out on a friday aft, he does the lounge and dining room and does a good job too! his mum thinks its great as his dad doesnt do any housework at all and she doesnt want her son to be the same. even my 18mnth old mindee likes to follow me round with a duster.

i get most of my housework done during the week, i dont play with the children ALL the time as they need time to play by themselves and with each other without adult interference.

well said x

LOOPYLISA
18-02-2010, 01:37 PM
Im gonna re register, they can do all my housework :clapping:

You know im kidding moppy mwah :clapping:

You carry on doing what ya doing gal x

The Juggler
18-02-2010, 01:42 PM
y'know I might stand and chat to the littlies and fold my washing whilst they eat lunch, or wash. Them knowing who's clothes belong to who, or whose cup this might be or matching socks is a PSRN skill;) . They do need life skills but it's about moderation. I'm sure Mollymop would agree, we don't spend the entire day doing housework type things with them, but before we sit down for lunch I often give the little ones a wipe to wipe the table, because they want to do it. They enjoy helping. They get the food out of the fridge for lunch often too. If they don't want to do it, I don't ask or make them but they often want to.

It's a life skill to want to help and look after their own clothes, things and environment, or know why we do the things we do in the house to keep it clean and tidy.

As long as it's part of a wider picture and play on offer its fine.

BUT, What happened to voicing our opinions in a rationale way girls! Don't want to be accused of becoming like netmums now do we - lolx

Tatjana
18-02-2010, 01:44 PM
Bully???? Because I wouldn't be happy paying for childcare and then finding out my children are helping to make beds and clean surfaces in the cm's house I am a bully? Purlease:rolleyes:

How happy would you be if your children came home from school and be told they'd been mopping the hall floors to learn life skills??

There are life skills to be learnt, but they way the orginal post was written did not read like this to me at all.

Neither do I play with the children all day i, I teach them to put their own coats, shoes on, pull up trousers, tidy up toys etc but making beds and folding your clothes is imo going to far.

If your parents like it then that's great for you all, but I would not be happy with it, i'd be :censored: off with it.

jaja
18-02-2010, 01:47 PM
I have to say that i used to have two children who loved using my hoover and would often ask to hoover the floor, mum loved it and wanted them to do it at home too, they never did it at home though....I often get the children to count the clothes on the line or tell me which socks match which ones or count how many pegs we use on the line, i dont think that this is wrong, i am using the numbers, shapes, colours and knowledge ofwhat is around them to make it interesting learning surely there is nothing worng with this......

I think all childminders are different and offer different things which is what makes us all special and we can offer parents different things, it would be boring if we all were the same and offered the same things. As long as parents are happy with the service and ofsted are happy with your setting then so be it.....

AliceK
18-02-2010, 01:51 PM
I work from 7.15am to 6pm and during that time I cook a meal for everyone and it is reheated in the evening for me and DH (I never would cook twice). Sometimes I cook today and the mindees have it tomorrow.

What about putting everything away at 6pm, having dinner and then tv until the parents arrive? Whilst they are having dinner you can tidy up what is left.

It sounds like everyone is trying to do childminding whilst mindees are in the house and nothing else.

I'm now beginning to understand where I'm going wrong. I thinks it's because I'm new to all this that I feel guilty if I take time out to do anything house related that isn't essential. So for instance keeping the kitchen clean is acceptable because it HAS to be constantly done but I would feel guilty for instance doing dusting when mindees are here. I DO feel that I have to be playing with them or at least observing them constantly. Maybe if I did a few little jobs throughout the day I wouldn't need to do so much in the evenings.I think it's time I relaxed a bit and became less paranoid :blush:
Thank you xxxxxx

Mollymop
18-02-2010, 01:53 PM
BUT, What happened to voicing our opinions in a rationale way girls! Don't want to be accused of becoming like netmums now do we - lolx

You are right, sorry about this everyone xx

LOOPYLISA
18-02-2010, 01:54 PM
You are right, sorry about this everyone xx

Why you sorry x

sue m
18-02-2010, 01:58 PM
Mine is too young Mollymopsie but I don't see anything wrong with it, even our Development Officer said something to me about it once, if they enjoy doing it why not! She used to let them when she was minding. Tbh, it used to drive me nuts when the mindees wanted to help with emptying the washing machine lol it took so long. I'd be happy for mine tpo help out if they wanted to, a lot of kids love doing it. x

claireLouise
18-02-2010, 02:12 PM
I agree I am shattered at the end of the night, my husband says I a zommby, how flattering!

I must get more organised as I can only fit in going to and from school, groups, meal times, structured play, observing freeplay, daily diaries and fredback to parents - this doen not leave time for anything other than preparing meals/snack, washing the dishes and cleaning the kitch and dining room. Planning etc, accounts, newsletters, correspondance and training - all gets done at nights and the weekend.

Not sure my parents would approve of the children helping, although we do go to the local shops if we run short of milk, bread etc and the kids love it.

Kind regards

claireLouise
18-02-2010, 02:13 PM
I agree I am shattered at the end of the night, my husband says I a zommby, how flattering!

I must get more organised as I can only fit in going to and from school, groups, meal times, structured play, observing freeplay, daily diaries and fredback to parents - this doen not leave time for anything other than preparing meals/snack, washing the dishes and cleaning the kitch and dining room. Planning etc, accounts, newsletters, correspondance, surfing the internet , on sites like this and training - all gets done at nights and the weekend.

Not sure my parents would approve of the children helping, although we do go to the local shops if we run short of milk, bread etc and the kids love it.

Kind regards


Ps on website in the afternoon as not working today and my daughter is playing at my feet!

mammumof4
18-02-2010, 02:21 PM
Bully???? Because I wouldn't be happy paying for childcare and then finding out my children are helping to make beds and clean surfaces in the cm's house I am a bully? Purlease:rolleyes:

How happy would you be if your children came home from school and be told they'd been mopping the hall floors to learn life skills??

There are life skills to be learnt, but they way the orginal post was written did not read like this to me at all.

Neither do I play with the children all day i, I teach them to put their own coats, shoes on, pull up trousers, tidy up toys etc but making beds and folding your clothes is imo going to far.

If your parents like it then that's great for you all, but I would not be happy with it, i'd be :censored: off with it.


i think you should calm down, or join net mums :D i was only standing up for molly, i dont think its "appalling" to teach children llife skills, and like i said before, as long as the child has a choice then i dont see any problem with it at all.
can you honestly say that if you was folding some washing up while a minded child was having lunch,or free play and asked you if they could help you would say no?
everyone is free to have their own opinion but i dont think she deserved the word "appalling"
thats all i have to say on the matter, my mindie is waking up and i have to teach her to use the washing machine and bleach the floor:laughing:

The Juggler
18-02-2010, 02:25 PM
[/B]

I'm now beginning to understand where I'm going wrong. I thinks it's because I'm new to all this that I feel guilty if I take time out to do anything house related that isn't essential. So for instance keeping the kitchen clean is acceptable because it HAS to be constantly done but I would feel guilty for instance doing dusting when mindees are here. I DO feel that I have to be playing with them or at least observing them constantly. Maybe if I did a few little jobs throughout the day I wouldn't need to do so much in the evenings.I think it's time I relaxed a bit and became less paranoid :blush:
Thank you xxxxxx

you will relax as you've been doing it longer hon. at the end of the day the table needs to be cleaned before the kids eat for lunch so if they want to help give 'em a cloth. if they are happily engaged in smallworld or role play sit down, watch them and write up a lovely observation later or have a cuppa!

Tatjana
18-02-2010, 02:27 PM
i think you should calm down, or join net mums :D i was only standing up for molly, i dont think its "appalling" to teach children llife skills, and like i said before, as long as the child has a choice then i dont see any problem with it at all.
can you honestly say that if you was folding some washing up while a minded child was having lunch,or free play and asked you if they could help you would say no?
everyone is free to have their own opinion but i dont think she deserved the word "appalling"
thats all i have to say on the matter, my mindie is waking up and i have to teach her to use the washing machine and bleach the floor:laughing:

Perhaps you should read properly before jumping on the bandwagon and replying with your rudeness and sacarsm.

Clearly i'm not free to have an opinion on here as has been proved.

Supportive, friendly forum? Yeah sure, if you're in with the clique it might be.

The Juggler
18-02-2010, 02:28 PM
Ps on website in the afternoon as not working today and my daughter is playing at my feet!

I am working but I am on here whilst the mindees are doing the springcleaning:laughing: :laughing: - sorry couldn't resist - i am NOT working!

mammumof4
18-02-2010, 02:31 PM
oh and getting back on topic mollymop, i am also shattered at the end of most days,but i am so luck to have a partner who also works very long hours so he understands,and we often both fall in bed equally done it!! :blush: , he was off all last week so he saw for his self how hard my days can be.
my advice would be to get little bits done in the day, i iron small amounts when mindie is asleep so there isnt as much to do at the weekends, my daughter also loves to help out with housework, esspecially if there is a new top or pair of shoes she has her eyes on!!:D
if its to much and you are finding it hard, cut your hours down, if you can affort it! i cant or i would :laughing:

mammumof4
18-02-2010, 02:33 PM
Perhaps you should read properly before jumping on the bandwagon and replying with your rudeness and sacarsm.

Clearly i'm not free to have an opinion on here as has been proved.

Supportive, friendly forum? Yeah sure, if you're in with the clique it might be.


i did read properly, your rude by telling someone the way they work is "appalling" sorry, but it made me mad.

it is a very friendly and supportive forum when everyone is nice to each other!!!

wendywu
18-02-2010, 02:34 PM
My mindees love to pair the socks together.

They help bring the shopping in from the Tescos man.

And yes the after schoolers fight to go over the consertvatory floor with a floor wipe. They take it in turns and yes i do have to go over it again after they have gone.

They ask to wash the plastic cups up even though i have a dish washer.

There is nothing wrong in them helping around the house, i used to help my mum all the time. I have very happy childhood memories of this. :)

jaja
18-02-2010, 02:40 PM
just wanted to say i love this foreum and find it fantastic:clapping: :clapping:

LOOPYLISA
18-02-2010, 02:53 PM
just wanted to say i love this foreum and find it fantastic:clapping: :clapping:

Me too and im no longer a cm, and still welcome :thumbsup: :clapping:

mammumof4
18-02-2010, 02:57 PM
i have to say its my number one bestest eva web site, even comes before ebay:laughing: :clapping: :laughing: :thumbsup:

Mollymop
18-02-2010, 03:17 PM
Me too and im no longer a cm, and still welcome :thumbsup: :clapping:

We would never wanna be with out you Loopy:thumbsup:

angiemog
18-02-2010, 03:27 PM
I too am exhausted in the eves, not every night but quite a few. Only last night it was 7pm I said to my hubbie I just need to close my eyes for a few minutes. I just could not keep my eyes open. I had a quick cat nap so I could stay up til 10pm!!!! I do do some jobs during the day as in the eve I am far too tired. My mindees are too little to help 'properly.' They like to help sweep my floor. I wash up a few bits while they are all having lunch and strapped in high chairs. I am luckily that all my mindees sleep after lunch and I do usually take this time to chill myself.... I treat myself to lunch :) If there is a job that needs to be done then this is the time I use for it. I usually spend an hour or something at the weekend catching up with any paperwork.
I do spend lots of times playing with my mindees but they also spend a lot of time playing alone or with each other. We sing, read books, and I'm right there for messy play to limit the mess. If they are happily playing then I try not to interfere. I do at times feel guilty if I'm not playing with them or doing something with them all the time but they do need to learn to play on their own too. I always have a to do list and if I have 5 minutes then I do a job. I would never leave them unattended while I left the house to hoover my car, but jobs like wiping dust off a shelf, sticky finger marks off the tv, I do. It took me a while to realise that although I get paid for my work, there are some jobs that you can do when working. It's one of the benefits of working from home. My husband is a shift worker he always says he goes to work for a rest. When he's here he is at our beck and call, and we all love him very much. He never complains, he knows how hard days can be and if I don't feel like cooking he will cook or persuade me to agree to a takeaway. I love my job..... but...... it is hard work, but right now I wouldn't have it any other way. I also love this forum, I don't post that often but I lurk at some point everyday. It's Friday tomorrow and I can't wait for last mindee to leave. x

caz3007
18-02-2010, 04:27 PM
When I was doing my ICP, the tutor said there was nothing wrong in letting a child dust, pair up socks, wash up ect. She did say there was one minder who taught all her mindies really neat hospital corners on the beds and perhaps that was taking it too far.

My own DS loves to wash up after all, its only water play, isnt it. Small children like to copy, so if you decided to do a bit of dusting, and they want to, why not let them dust the lower things

Pauline
18-02-2010, 05:33 PM
Perhaps you should read properly before jumping on the bandwagon and replying with your rudeness and sacarsm.

Clearly i'm not free to have an opinion on here as has been proved.

Supportive, friendly forum? Yeah sure, if you're in with the clique it might be.

I think those comments are very unfair Tatjana, you are free to have an opinion as well you know. You might not agree with what Mollymop says, which is your right, but it did come across as very aggressive, whether or not you meant it to, often written word has different ways of being read. In return others have done the same and things have got heated.

Best for everyone to calm down and get back on the topic but with consideration for how replies make people feel.

Pauline
18-02-2010, 05:44 PM
On the subject of children helping with jobs.

I had an inspection, many years ago now, when the inspector said that there was so much to be gained from children helping around the house. i.e. colour matching/sorting as they match socks as they are passed from the basket to be put on the line. She said that dusting was a way to get children to think about decompsition and it could be carried forward into activities about micro worlds and viewing dust under a microscope.

Her words not mine

There must be so many other things that could be linked now days to EYFS

manjay
18-02-2010, 05:51 PM
On the subject of children helping with jobs.

I had an inspection, many years ago now, when the inspector said that there was so much to be gained from children helping around the house. i.e. colour matching/sorting as they match socks as they are passed from the basket to be put on the line. She said that dusting was a way to get children to think about decompsition and it could be carried forward into activities about micro worlds and viewing dust under a microscope.

Her words not mine

There must be so many other things that could be linked now days to EYFS

I like that one Pauline. What a fab description!!! Funnily enough I have been researching lots about holistic child development for my foundation degree and almost all the articles/journals/books you read make some mention of children learning through doing household tasks like the ones that have been mentioned. I for one have absolutely no problem doing some of my jobs while the children are here and everything I do can in some way be used as a learning experience. I wouldn't make beds with them but that is due to the fact you can hardly get in my bedroom due to the large amount of childminding paraphanalia that is stored in there:rolleyes:

patevans
18-02-2010, 05:52 PM
My nephew (aged 5) has never played with toys as such, he likes to help load and unload the washer etc, he hoovered up for me today we had a row as I said no and he kicked off big time :laughing: I let him in the end and he did a better job than me :D him and his Mum argue over the hoover at home :laughing:

Back to the original post I am usually in bed for 7.30 pm :eek: I even visited the doctor because I thought I had something wrong with me as I am always tired and fall to sleep within seconds of my head hitting the pillow!

Tatia
18-02-2010, 06:45 PM
Parents choose childminders because they want a home-from-home environment and that means doing jobs around the house and tidying up after themselves. Gosh, even in my children's cente, we expect the littlies to help tidy up! They fight over who gets to wipe the tables for snack and wow, we have even bought all sorts of crazy socks and a little washing line to mimic the good work a childminder can do at home!

There's not been one single solitary play training course I have attended that has not discussed the merits of allowing mindees to help with simple chores or to allow them to see you doing basic hosuework.

Molly, I've got your mindees booked in to paint the front of the house. I'll make sure they have plenty of builder's brew for their beakers!:laughing:

Pudding Girl
18-02-2010, 07:02 PM
I have to say I think making the families beds is a step too far for me but yes I encourage children to help clean up after themselves and wash up and help me hang the washing out (not the smalls though!!)

I clean up as I go and if a load of washing needs doing I will put it in even if mindees there. I won't do any heavy cleaning though or ironing, and they aren't allowed anything other than fairy and a sponge for any cleaning they do do.

I only make tea for one mindee now and I make enough in our previous nights tea and save it for her and reheat it (or from batches on the freezer done on weekends).

OP give your hubby a slap!!

The Juggler
18-02-2010, 07:08 PM
OP give your hubby a slap!!

yes, or have him be your assistant for the day:laughing:

TheBTeam
18-02-2010, 07:11 PM
I used to be exhausted working on my own childminding and doing all paperwork and housework etc without mindees here, dh would come home at different times and i would have tidied the toys away before going on school runs etc, made sure all washing up was done immediately etc, cos he went mad if he came home and it was not done!

Well I relaxed!!!! And now i dont mind if the toys are left tidily on the floor when i go out and if the odd cup or bowl isn't washed within 30 seconds, i will dust if the children are playing happily and i will clean over the bathroom etc, what has changed! My dh now works with me so i have the luxury of leaving him downstairs and i will often give the bathroom a quick once over when i nip up to use it, so he is left to get on with it downstairs! We do sometimes hoover if the mess is primarily that made by the children and is too much to wait till the end of the day.

I dont usually let them help with folding washing but this is cos i don't let anyone, i am a control freak when it comes to folding washing, but i would let them hand me pegs in the summer and match socks if they wanted.

I dont really agree with making beds, i dont really want them in my bedrooms fiddling around with my sheets and stuff and so wouldn't want this, i also am not sure i would want my children doing it for anybody either, but each to their own.

I do paperwork whilst watching the tv and am lucky that this isn't too much hassle, and the pogo means i can sometimes print out stuff when lunch is being eaten, and i do think dh has a little more understanding now of how tiring and busy it can be and how noise in itself is tiring.

He has been working with me 3 1/2 years and previously i did 3 1/2 years on my own, not sure which i preferred!:rolleyes:

Monkey1
18-02-2010, 07:28 PM
I agree with Mollymop. Learning life skills is a valuable experience and i wouldn't hesitate in getting the children to help pair socks etc as it is a fantastic activity which gives them a great sense of acumplishment!
Tatjana as Pauline said it did come over as agressive and i think it was uncalled for and i do think that Mollymop deserves an apology as it is implied as a personal attack.

If there is a 'clique' am i in it?????:rolleyes:

ajs
18-02-2010, 07:34 PM
Parents choose childminders because they want a home-from-home environment and that means doing jobs around the house and tidying up after themselves. Gosh, even in my children's cente, we expect the littlies to help tidy up! They fight over who gets to wipe the tables for snack and wow, we have even bought all sorts of crazy socks and a little washing line to mimic the good work a childminder can do at home!

There's not been one single solitary play training course I have attended that has not discussed the merits of allowing mindees to help with simple chores or to allow them to see you doing basic hosuework.

Molly, I've got your mindees booked in to paint the front of the house. I'll make sure they have plenty of builder's brew for their beakers!:laughing:


this is what i was going to say Tatjana i think you've been a bit harsh, i am sure there are some parents who would disapprove but i think the majority are happy for the little ones to learn a few skills that they may not otherwise see.

as for the op i am permanately knackered and also thought there was something wrong with me.
if i sit on the sofa in the evening that is it i fall asleep. so i stay upright and either play on the pc( here and fb ) or do jobs around the house.

i also don't work such long hours anymore and couldnot go back to 50+ hours a week

Pipsqueak
18-02-2010, 08:11 PM
Perhaps you should read properly before jumping on the bandwagon and replying with your rudeness and sacarsm.

Clearly i'm not free to have an opinion on here as has been proved.

Supportive, friendly forum? Yeah sure, if you're in with the clique it might be.

I beg your pardon hun? I take huge issue with what you have said.
I assure you there is no 'clique' and yes this forum and its members are very supportive and extremely friendly and I most certainly will not have anyone saying they/the forum is not:mad: :mad: You have no idea just how supportive people of this forum can be and that mud-slinging accusation really peeps me off, to the point I will defend the very people who have been there for me when I really needed them. There are differences of opinion happening all the time and its all very accepting, I appreciate things can come across a wrong when typing it and things get said in the heat of the moment.

I have read this thread through and I actually took Mop's comments quite lightheartedly but in essence I agree with her, my mindees help me sort socks, they wipe down the table, heck they even help me cook their own tea, they enjoy pushing the hoover around and the love doing some 'dusting', summer time they will help me peg out or take in washing, they help me walk or groom the dogs. All life skills as well as learning responsibility and Ofsted or parents have not had a problem with it. If I have had to mop a spillage up, then yes if they want they can mop the floor too, do a bit of washing up or help load/unload the dishwasher. So am I am appalling minder for teaching them to cook, clean and care for equipment, fold and sort things, care for living things etc. I know it probably sounds like they (mindees) do my housework but these are all daily chores that have to be done around mindees and that help them learn. It all fits so nicely into EYFS too plus I hope its balancing out the new generation that are coming through that appear to have no idea how to care for themselves.

Tina O
18-02-2010, 08:28 PM
I'm sure I'm not the only one but by the time my last mindee is collected at 6pm I am ready to drop. Then's there's the task of getting my own children's homework sorted, bathed and into bed. And yet my hubby walks in from work at 7pm and can't see what all the fuss is about???? I am absolutely hanging by this point and yet he is expecting a meal cooked (we eat separately to the kids so have to do 2 dinners a day) and then also expects a bit of rumpy pumpy :blush: . He doesn't seem to understand why at this point I just want to crawl into my pit and sleep.

Last night I was in bed at 8.45pm cause I was ridiculously exhausted. When the alarm went off at 7am, I groaned and commented that I could stay in bed all day. Hubby said that I should feel refreshed and ready for my day cause I have had so much sleep. Is it just me or are you guys permanently knackered too?????

I know I am lucky lucky lucky !!!:jump for joy: I have a hubby who if he comes home (normally 5.30pm) and chaos is everywhere (ie normal day), heads for the kitchen and cracks on with dinner!!! (starting with sending a coffee my way!) I have 2 boys of my oldest 14 thinks nothing of getting stuck in and helping with 'pick up & put away' my 10 yrs old is going the same way........ by 8pm (normally) house is quiet and sorted and I'm with himself watching 'crap' tv..... as I said LUCKY LUCKY LUCKY :thumbsup:

Merry-Minder
18-02-2010, 08:56 PM
Sometimes I find I get into a vicious circle where sleep is concerned, if ive had an overly busy day and then have an early night I find that then leaves me more tired than before - too much sleep for me and im a zombie the next day!

Where mindees and domestic activities are concerned, before I got back to work and I was at home with my children I would encourage them to help me with some of my housework as I wanted them to learn life skills and independance, so when I went back to work I decided to choose a childminder as I could have the best of both worlds - an academic education and also a 'life education' and for my childcare to take over where I had left off. I see no problem with any child of any age taking part in some housework as long as it is lighthearted and enjoyed by the children, and this is exactly how I understood everyone else to have meant it too.
I dont think this forum is clicky (sp) friendships will undoubtible form, but I have always found every member to help with any queries that I have ever asked.

Hebs
18-02-2010, 09:35 PM
How happy would you be if your children came home from school and be told they'd been mopping the hall floors to learn life skills??



my son would regularly hoover the classroom for his teacher last year, he is obsessed with hoovering :clapping: (will make a FAB hubby :laughing: )

yet this year he won't even do his work :blush: :laughing:

:D

bandlady
18-02-2010, 09:52 PM
Will just add that I have always carried out light household chores whilst minding and this has never caused any concern to ofsted or to the parents of the children i have minded. I always make it quite clear that this is how i work before i take on new children and have never lost any business because of this. As has already been said children can get a lot of enjoyment out of this and learn life skills. I always prepare our evening meal with the mindees and they enjoy helping with preparing vegetables, getting saucepans from the cupboard, weighing out and mixing ingredients. This is all done in a controlled and relaxed environment and many times parents will come to collect their children and find us all happily ''making dinner". I will also add that i take the children grocery shopping most weeks with parents permission. As childminders we all work differently and it is the parents choice as to who they use and that is what makes us so unique.

polly0
18-02-2010, 09:55 PM
I'm with you mollymop, the children learn life skills from helping around the house, they learn colours from matching socks, they learn mathematical skills and they also learn how to be independent and can take these skills into their own home enviroment (which i am sure most parents try to encourage them to do anyway) .

My two DS who are 12 and 8 have just been given a list of chores to do for pocket money, there is no way they are having pocket money for doing nothing lol:laughing:

My mindees parents know that I go to the shops with the children, they help with little things in the house and are more than happy for me to do this with them:clapping:

sfox2003
18-02-2010, 09:57 PM
Im glad you posted this too. Im only in my second week of childminding & Ive never been so exhausted. I work a long day 7.30am - 6.30pm. Full time. I have my own children also & a house & hubby to look after. Im lucky in that my DH is very understanding & I know he works very hard too.

Doesnt make it any easier though. Im really struggling with paperwork & stuff. After my kids are in bed at 8pm I just want to chill. We have our tea at 7.30-8pm & then I clean kitchen (again!) and clear away toys & sort some washing out/other housework then I just want to sit.

Its hard work this job isnt it?

wendywu
18-02-2010, 11:27 PM
Here just a thought , perhaps we could sub our mindees out. A sort of Mini Maids cleaning company or Tiny Tornadoes, or Diddy Dusters, or Cutie Cleaners, or Weeny Wipers, or Shortie Sweepers.:laughing:

We could make a fortune :thumbsup:

Pipsqueak
18-02-2010, 11:30 PM
Here just a thought , perhaps we could sub our mindees out. A sort of Mini Maids cleaning company or Tiny Tornadoes, or Diddy Dusters, or Cutie Cleaners, or Weeny Wipers, or Shortie Sweepers.:laughing:

We could make a fortune :thumbsup:

I'd be up for that:laughing: :laughing: one of my mindees is a tidy-upper and the other loves dusting.
I so love the name Weeny Wipers!!:D

mammumof4
19-02-2010, 07:58 AM
mini maids!! i love it!!
just thought, you can get those little dustpans and brushes, hovers,play washing machines,irons and ironing boards ect ect soif its so bad for us to teach life skills why do the shops sell all this role play stuff?
my daughter (who may i add is now 12 and is sooo different!) used to love to clean!

Roseolivia
19-02-2010, 08:15 AM
I am always tired even though Mon, Tues and Wed i only have before/after schoolies. These days though is usually filled with swimming, shopping, visiting friends etc things which is difficult to do when you have mindees all day. I'm usually in bed by 9pm each night. I only make 1 tea though and partner has to eat what i make the mindees or he has to make his own. I refuse to cook 2 meals each night. We now have a cleaner but only because our house is rather big and i was finding it hard to clean everywhere. I put washing in when mindees are here and also clean the kitchen otherwise it ends up a right state.
With regards to mindees helping do things round the house, my mindee loves dusting and her favourite job is cleaning and washing the car (which we always do in the summer), they like helping in the greenhouse and veggie patch, sorting the washing and sometimes even tidying up their mess. I try not to hoover when they're here but if their mess means it needs hoovering i will.

Tatjana
19-02-2010, 08:21 AM
Morning!

I would like to apologise for saying this is not a friendly and supportive forum, as i have had very good and helpful advice on here.:)

I do find it disturbing how it changes though for having a differing opinion. I have had some odd responses, eg being a bully and I should join netmums?! I am a member of netmums, I advertise on there and got my full timer through there:thumbsup:

What I find really bizarre is someone saying I owe Mollymop an apology, what on earth would I be apologising for...my opinion? I do find it appalling that mindees are making beds and wiping up sufaces. Whilst i'm all for life skills and teaching children responsibilites, this imo is going too far. They are children and should be doing fun things, they can do housework the rest of their lives. Children always want to copy things we do, it's upto us to decide what's acceptable and what isn't.

How funny that many of you have quoted Ofsted when it backs up your point, yet the majority of posts on Ofsted on this forum say how mad they are with their ideas!

Here I was feeling guilty for putting washing in the machine whilst mindees are here, at least this thread has shown me I have nothing to feel guilty about!

Tatjana
19-02-2010, 08:23 AM
mini maids!! i love it!!
just thought, you can get those little dustpans and brushes, hovers,play washing machines,irons and ironing boards ect ect soif its so bad for us to teach life skills why do the shops sell all this role play stuff?
my daughter (who may i add is now 12 and is sooo different!) used to love to clean!

To make money of course.

Pipsqueak
19-02-2010, 08:45 AM
Morning!

I would like to apologise for saying this is not a friendly and supportive forum, as i have had very good and helpful advice on here.:)

I do find it disturbing how it changes though for having a differing opinion. I have had some odd responses, eg being a bully and I should join netmums?! I am a member of netmums, I advertise on there and got my full timer through there:thumbsup:

What I find really bizarre is someone saying I owe Mollymop an apology, what on earth would I be apologising for...my opinion? I do find it appalling that mindees are making beds and wiping up sufaces. Whilst i'm all for life skills and teaching children responsibilites, this imo is going too far. They are children and should be doing fun things, they can do housework the rest of their lives. Children always want to copy things we do, it's upto us to decide what's acceptable and what isn't.

How funny that many of you have quoted Ofsted when it backs up your point, yet the majority of posts on Ofsted on this forum say how mad they are with their ideas!

Here I was feeling guilty for putting washing in the machine whilst mindees are here, at least this thread has shown me I have nothing to feel guilty about!

Whilst I have no problem with your opinion and I am more than accepting of others views, I am going to respond to your post.

I do not believe its 'funny' that we have quoted Ofsetd 'when its backs up our point' (re the rest of your paragraph) - I am extremely unhappy with Ofsted at the moment for a couple of things and in general they are very in-efficient and elbows and ar*e spring to mind when trying to get a straight answer BUT as childminders and NOT nurseries Ofsted in my experience have been quite happy with my explanations and style of childcare - ie very much home from home. I am not quoting reasons or trying to justify what I do - its purely the truth. I can fully back up what I say by showing how it does help the child learn, develop, enjoy and - to you, to Ofsted, to the parent.

I also do not believe that this forum/members change when there is a difference of opinion -this forum is very mellow, very accepting and very adult in discussion. Your apology re the forum comments are appreciated - this forum and its members hold a very special place in my heart. all other people have done is what you have done - expressed an opinion - of which you and others are entitled to. If you (and by you I mean anyone) is going to say something that is potentially volatile then you have to expect feedback. Sometimes other people miss the humour in whats being said, we sometimes forget that we all work just that tiny bit differently to each other and that is the wonderful uniqueness about what we do. I know some people on here take the mindees grocery shopping but for me that is a no-no but each to their own and I would not call someones way of working appalling, there are other childcare workers (minders included) that do way more genuinely appalling things/practice than the children going shopping or helping to make beds.

Why can't housework be fun? I stick on some music and dance and sing my way round the house. I have taught my kids that the 'chores' don't have to be chores. And as far as I am concerned, the jobs that the mindees are involved in are only bits and bobs that they have contributed to the mess of and if they want to help and have that bit of responsibility thats fine by me and also if I happen to be making the beds for what ever reason while mindees are here and again, they want to help, then they can. I am a childminder not a skivvy, I am a mother not a servant.

Mollymop
19-02-2010, 08:46 AM
The thing is Tatijana, it IS all about the children having FUN.

You might have taken my post the wrong way, I am quite bad at explaining myself I always have been - I mean't it to mean that I still do odd jobs around the house in the day whilst I am minding and the children often help because they ask too! They are only 2 and 3 years of age so they don't do much.


I don't expect an apology from you - we all have our own opinion

I didn't like being called "appalling" and I shouldn't have told you to mind your own business in the heat of the moment - i like to get on with everyone and of course be being a laid back soul was quite shocked with your response to my post - it was upsetting to me. But like I said I don't expect an apology from you.

That's all I am going to say on the subject now. :)

ajs
19-02-2010, 08:50 AM
Morning!

I would like to apologise for saying this is not a friendly and supportive forum, as i have had very good and helpful advice on here.:)

I do find it disturbing how it changes though for having a differing opinion. I have had some odd responses, eg being a bully and I should join netmums?! I am a member of netmums, I advertise on there and got my full timer through there:thumbsup:

What I find really bizarre is someone saying I owe Mollymop an apology, what on earth would I be apologising for...my opinion? I do find it appalling that mindees are making beds and wiping up sufaces. Whilst i'm all for life skills and teaching children responsibilites, this imo is going too far. They are children and should be doing fun things, they can do housework the rest of their lives. Children always want to copy things we do, it's upto us to decide what's acceptable and what isn't.

How funny that many of you have quoted Ofsted when it backs up your point, yet the majority of posts on Ofsted on this forum say how mad they are with their ideas!

Here I was feeling guilty for putting washing in the machine whilst mindees are here, at least this thread has shown me I have nothing to feel guilty about!

good morning, i don't think you ned to apologise for having a differing opinion but prhaps for the way you put your opinion across and your use of language towards molly,

i was thinking about what you said about the forum being cliquey, and i suppose last night it did seem that way as many of us agreed with what molly said,if it had been on the other foot and we had agreed with you not molly would you still have thought us cliquey.

i sort of agree with what you are saying in principle but my little ones are just starting to learn to load their stuff in to the dishwasher, they don't put last nights pots in but they do their own plates and cutlery.
we don't make beds but then upstairs isn't registered so i can't go up there anyway.

Pauline
19-02-2010, 09:13 AM
What I find really bizarre is someone saying I owe Mollymop an apology, what on earth would I be apologising for...my opinion?

Certainly not for your opinion but perhaps for the way you put that opinion across.

I think it is lovely that you have come back to discuss the situation and have apologised, it takes a strong person to do that, some might have just gone never to be seen again. My aim with the Forum is to value all opinions and differences, all I ask is that it is done with consideration for others feelings, sometimes that gets lost in the heat of discussion or with strong beliefs - but thankfully not very often. :)

sarak31
19-02-2010, 09:15 AM
When I first started minding I thought I should be playing with the children all the time as that 'what I was paid for'. Since then I've relaxed much more, after learning from other childminders and conversations with ofsted when they've inspected me - who incidently have always said to me that jobs around the house are part and parcel of providing a home environment. I think it's important to remember that we aren't nurseries, that parents choose to place their children in a home environment. It's easy to forget that these days and feel that we have to compete on a nursery level. Part of providing a home environment is providing a home that is safe, welcoming and clean. It's impossible to do this outside of working hours if you are working 7am - 7pm every day. I agree if you are part time, then perhaps save mopping the kitchen floor etc for your day off, but if you are full time then there is nothing wrong with doing some housework if you are still with the children and they are playing happily (equally when I work part time I still do some small jobs around the house otherwise it's chaos by the end of my working week!).

Likewise I agree that it is good for the children to learn some responsibility in keeping their environment tidy etc as it makes them proud of where they spend their time and teaches them to look after toys etc - my parents have always loved that I make them tidy up and they clear up after tea etc.

Since I've relaxed my view I'm not as tired as I've a much better balance to things and all my mindees love it here and parents are very happy so I don't think I'm getting it wrong. :)

Pauline
19-02-2010, 09:23 AM
I think this thread has turned into a very interesting debate.

It is perhaps something to consider adding to parent questionnaires?

Does your child help with jobs around the home? If they are too young now, is it something you plan to do in the future?

Are you happy for them to help me with general household tasks as part of my Life Skills development? This would include .......

Minstrel
19-02-2010, 10:10 AM
my sons school has a lovely new aproach to the lunch time routine.

each class takes it in turns to lay the tables in the dining hall. They have tablecloths, cutlery, jugs of water, bowls of salad, cups etc to lay out and then the children are served at the tables. (they make their choice in the morning so no queueing to choose).

They are trying to get a 100% uptake on hot dinners but i and many others just cannot afford it everyday (2 children). Until recently the packed lunch children were left out of this but after a petition this has been changed.

I also remember at high school on the last day of term being given a scrapper and a pot to scrap the old chewing gum from under each desk. We also had sandpaper to sand the wooden desks down so they were free of graffitti!

We also took turns at litter picking at school.

I think each education environment has its own way of encouraging children to be aware of how to take care of their surroundings and our home from home placement puts us in prime place to teach lifelong skills around the home.

Tatjana
19-02-2010, 10:58 AM
Mollymop, I did not refer to you as an appalling person, I was of the opinion that mindees doing that stuff was appalling. I can see why you took offence in that case.

It's nice to read and write much calmer, constructive posts on this thread.

I will now start doing some stuff around the house, which I was finding a nightmare trying to sort outside my minding hours!:D

xx

caz3007
19-02-2010, 11:10 AM
I will now start doing some stuff around the house, which I was finding a nightmare trying to sort outside my minding hours!:D

xx

Glad you are now joining us on doing bits and bobs whilst the children are happy playing.

sarak31
19-02-2010, 11:22 AM
I think part of the problem of the time pressure that we, as childminders, and women (or men!) feel about our job and home is this culture of modern parenting of being 'super mum / dad / childminder'! I have friends, who aren't childminders, who are mums and feel guilty themselves about doing housework whilst their children / preschoolers are around - they feel to be a good mum they should be playing with them, forever stimulating and educating them. I'm always saying to them when they complain of exhaustion that they don't have to do this - that part of providing a loving caring environment is providing a nice home too. My parents certainly didn't play with me all the time and I remember my dad cleaning all weekend(!) and my mum cooking all the time.

I think we feel the pressure too much to be super woman / man!

nokidshere
19-02-2010, 12:40 PM
My mindees do all sorts of stuff round the house :D The 4 year old I look after is always walking around with a babywipe cleaning up - she is rather obsessed with everything being tidy :laughing: She says we have to sort out the washing "for Geoff" (my husband who does all the laundry) so he can put it away.

Most children between the ages of 2 and 5 go through a phase of loving to help with housework - shame it doesn't last though eh ;)

The older ones even help in the kitchen with cooking if they want to and load/unload the dishwasher along with my own two boys. I also have no problem with them doing their own tidying up (they are all after schoolers apart from the 4 year old) I help them if its really bad but generally 2 or 3 will tidy up and another couple will lay the table.

I do paperwork during the day only when the little one is sleeping or on the two days I don't have her - I rarely do paperwork or planning outside of 9-5.

Chatterbox Childcare
19-02-2010, 01:32 PM
I think this is appalling, I would be so angry if my child was doing this whilst in someones care! Surely you can't think it's ok have mindees do this??!:eek:

My mindees have a duster and will happily follow me around if need be. They automatically do it with the role play if they are a waitress cleaning up.

As to the washing - my mindees pair up socks, learn colours, things are the same etc.. There are so many learning opportunities. The only thing mine don't do is the washing! They love unloading the dishwasher too once I take out the sharp knives.

TheBTeam
19-02-2010, 01:48 PM
Pauline, I like the idea of adding the bit to the parent questionnaire, i changed mine around a bit yesterday to ask more open questions to try and avoid the 'yes' and 'no' answers, quite like the idea of asking.

I dont want them making beds with me, we dont go upstairs really and dont want them fiddling with my bedding! I dont take them shopping to buy the full weekly shop, (will sometimes buy odd bits from local shop), I get it delivered and if it has to be when littleones are here if they show an interest i give them something safe to carry to the kitchen.

I often let them help with wiping over toys if when they see me doing it they want to join in, so if i hoovered and they wanted to help i would let them and again with dusting.

I do think it is an interesting point, how we all see it differently has made me realise how different the parents will see it too, maybe the questionnaire answers will be thought provoking!

Pauline
19-02-2010, 02:26 PM
One thing for people to remember and someone did mention it about themselves earlier.

If your rooms are not registered with Ofsted then don't take children in them for any reason. It might be easy to forget if you were thinking of getting them to help.

Insurance is invalidated if you take a child into a room that is not registered. I checked that with Morton Michel some time ago. Not sure on NCMA's insurance view.

Chatterbox Childcare
19-02-2010, 04:52 PM
My children help me to fold back down the beds that they sleep on and we remake it so that I can sleep in it when I go to bed.

caz3007
19-02-2010, 05:13 PM
A bit off subject, my 7 year old DS made my bed the other day. The next morning he went in there just after I had got up and said he wasnt going to do it again, cos I had made it messy. Now will remember that one next time he wants help to tidy his room :)

cher25
19-02-2010, 06:17 PM
My 8 year old mindee was getting a bit bored this afternoon. She asked to do the dishes, i tried to put her off, but she moaned so i let her. She then went on to wipe the the benches and then decided that SHE WAS sweeping and mopping the kitchen floor.
I never ask them to do anything apart from tidy the toys. But the way i see it is if the kids themselves are wanting to do these thing's, then who are we to stop them.
Once they get home and their parent's ask them to do it, im pretty sure they will moan then not want to do it at my house either. Which again is fine!

Graham
19-02-2010, 06:40 PM
In reply to the original post, as many of you know Pauline has been Childminding for 25 years now but I have only been her assistant for a couple of years.

I like to think when I was going out to work and coming home exhausted after a hard days work that I was supportive and understood that she too was tired after a long day looking after children, not sure whether I was or not but what I do know is that now I am working with her I certainly know how exhausting it can be caring for children.

I agree with what someone else said if your husband/partner isn't supportive get him/her to spend a day as your assistant, they will soon change their mind.

manjay
19-02-2010, 07:10 PM
I agree with what someone else said if your husband/partner isn't supportive get him/her to spend a day as your assistant, they will soon change their mind.

When my dh gets a bit unhelpful I book a days training and leave him in charge. Of course I do like to chose a day when I have 8 or 9 children. That usually does the trick:thumbsup:

ChocolateChip
19-02-2010, 09:16 PM
Wow, what a thread! :D

I am also knackered these days, I know it's my own fault for taking on long hours, I generally have a 5.50 start 2 or 3 times a week, the other days it is 7.40, and the earliest finish I get is 5pm, but that only happens once in a while, it's normally 6.15 or 6.30. Parents jobs change, what are you supposed to do? I would feel bad showing them the door.
Also none of my 3 yr olds have a nap now, the 2 yr olds come on different days so I don't get that break while they all sleep as the older one is around, plus I have 3 recently out of nappies so I am running up and down to the toilet every few minutes, or it feels like it!
I do try to get the odd job done, obviously the kitchen and hoovering it if really needs it, in the summer I can get washing done and out on the line but not this time of year as my drier is in the shed and I can't leave them to go out there.
So by the time I have cleared up the kitchen after tea, (my dd and ds take it in turns to sweep the kitchen and hoover the lounge), done homework, reading and everything else for my lot, got them to bed, given the bathroom a quick going over, sat down and done paperwork for the day (if I'm not too tired) I am absolutely shattered. Then I often get phases where I can't sleep, tried all sorts but nothing seems to work, oh snores away happily and I end up tossing and turning all night :angry:
And I have a cleaner, but I still feel like I am spending all weekend doing washing, ironing, tidying and all the other little jobs that didn't get done any other time!

Sorry for rambling, I just can't wait to get some sunshine.
And after Easter I will have 2 afternoons with just my own dd, as both mindees will be in nursery, yay! :clapping:

Pauline
19-02-2010, 09:52 PM
In reply to the original post, as many of you know Pauline has been Childminding for 25 years now but I have only been her assistant for a couple of years.

I like to think when I was going out to work and coming home exhausted after a hard days work that I was supportive and understood that she too was tired after a long day looking after children, not sure whether I was or not but what I do know is that now I am working with her I certainly know how exhausting it can be caring for children.

I agree with what someone else said if your husband/partner isn't supportive get him/her to spend a day as your assistant, they will soon change their mind.

I remember you coming home and helping prepare dinner, getting the kids to bed and reading their beditme story. The most important part of the day for us, making sure they had that story. No matter what had happened earlier in the day, sulks, tantrums (and that was just us :laughing:) they still got their bedtime story. :)

LOOPYLISA
19-02-2010, 09:54 PM
Most def need a suportive patner, im no longer a cm and am not working yet, hubs still comes in and help, its a patnership :thumbsup:

Well done Graham :D

SandCastles
19-02-2010, 10:03 PM
I'm the same - knackered all the time, I work 5 days a week 7am till 6pm and have 2 lo of my own to get fed, bathed and put to bed.
My OH has recently started to come home from work and make a start on the tea. He spent a day at home with me last month, all the noise and rushing about left a lasting impression on what this job is all about.

Reading this has left me wondering how I can make my working day easier for me and my family.

Graham
19-02-2010, 10:28 PM
I remember you coming home and helping prepare dinner, getting the kids to bed and reading their beditme story. The most important part of the day for us, making sure they had that story. No matter what had happened earlier in the day, sulks, tantrums (and that was just us :laughing:) they still got their bedtime story. :)

Aw, yeah, I remember reading those stories, I used to enjoy them myself, still got the Mr. Men books and read them to the mindees now just before going home time.