Self feeding

[ma7ie]

I look after a 17 month old boy who is absolutely lovely but I have a problem in that he doesn't seem to know how to feed himself (could be just laziness!). Now I'm not talking about a three course meal with soup!!! He doesn't seem to know what to do with even finger foods like sandwiches, fruit etc.

If I put a dish down in front of him, he just looks at me until I put something in his mouth. He's not a fussy eater and he eats loads, it's just that he expects me to feed him.

I've tried leaving the food and seeing if he will eat it, but he doesn't and I've sat there for over 20 minutes before now coersing him, but nothing.

He is an only child and was an IVF baby, so I can understand his parents spoiling him and wanting to do things for him, but this is getting really silly.

I have joked about it with his mum in the past, but I don't really want to say anything and upset her.

Help!!!!:(

[crazybones]

I have a 25 month old who is like this. I cant get him to eat much at all by himself. He just breaks everything all over the plate if it finger food and as for a spoon :rolleyes: If you pop it in his mouth he eats it fine. He even does it with biscuits and choc buttons. I am interested in any advice too.

[angeldelight]

I know what you mean

The now 16mth old that I mind is the same and half the time he even misses his mouth with just finger food

The 14mth old is different she will feed herself with a spoon, gets it here ,there and everywhere but shes got the idea and most of it lands in her mouth and not the floor ha

Not a lot you can do but just encourage him lots to do it
Put things in front of him and dont help him make him do it himself

You need mom to work with you though othewise it is going to make your job more difficult
You need to work out what you are BOTH going to do so you do the same

He could be going home and they are feeding him - undoing all your hard work during the day

Angel xx

[berkschick]

M is exactly the same! She is 19 months and will not feed herself anything.

Its really tricky because Ella is 5 days younger and has been feeding herself ( dinner meals like chilli, spag bol, etc) since she was 13 months.

Its really hard not to say anything to Mum about it.

I dont think it helps that they still send her with jars of baby food either.

[crazybones]

Scary, I just reread your last paragraph and this baby is an IVF baby too. He does have an 18 year old sister but they all baby him a lot. I do think she is getting better though because he is 2 weeks younger than my William and she can see how much more independant he is compared to A. Will has got 2 older brothers though of 8 and 10 and he thinks he is the same age as them, which can get him into bother.:laughing:

[ma7ie]

Poppy, my DD is 26 months now but has been using a spoon and fork since she was 1yr. I'm not saying she was any good at it then, but at least she tried. She has always been fiercely independent and likes to try and do everything by herself.

She has been feeding herself finger foods ever since she could pick up food.

My husband reckons it's a boy thing, (apparently when he was little he would let his mother do everything for him) but never having had a boy, I don't know.

Another thing with my mindee is that he will play with the same toys for hours if I let him and I struggle to get him involved in other activities as he just goes back to the same toys (usually anything with wheels) so doing observations is difficult because he doesn't do anything new.:(

[sarah707]

I think a lot of it is that boys get more mothered at home... I've seen it many times over the years...

I give little bits of food - not a plate, just a piece - when they are hungry and hope they get the hang of it, but it can be hard work with some children... I remember my ds was very lazy and would just sit there waiting for it to happen!:rolleyes:

[Rubybubbles]

oh hard!! strange about the finger foods!! everychild eats their own rice cakes at 7-8 months no?

[ma7ie]

oh hard!! strange about the finger foods!! everychild eats their own rice cakes at 7-8 months no?

Not this one :rolleyes:

[jackie__1981]

Is there anyone you could invite over who has children the same age who do feed themselves?

My son wasn't very good at it until he went to nursery and saw all the other kids doing it. Because he is an only child he didn't have anyone to copy even tho I tried to show him.

Now he is brill at 20 months, its amazing how much kids try to copy each other.

[ma7ie]

Is there anyone you could invite over who has children the same age who do feed themselves?

My son wasn't very good at it until he went to nursery and saw all the other kids doing it. Because he is an only child he didn't have anyone to copy even tho I tried to show him.

Now he is brill at 20 months, its amazing how much kids try to copy each other.

Not really.

My dd who is 26 month has even started feeding him now because it makes her feel grown up!:laughing:

[jackie__1981]

Oh dear! I know it might be difficult but I would try and talk to the mum. I reckon that self feeding is an important part of development.

Maybe say somethink like you just wanted to check because he won't feed himself with you and were wondering if he will do it at home?

[Sarsar3NCH]

I have a 3.5 yr old who won't use a spoon by himself, he says 'dad does it for me at home because I might get mucky!' . He is fine with dry finger food but hates to get mucky.

I won't feed him though, he just sits there with it.

Sarah

[Angela234]

I have a 17 month old who doesn't feed herself very well might try a couple spoons then gives up i have offered a spoon since shes 12 months she often turns the spoon over before it goes in her mouth so she gives up she'll get there in the end

My 18 month old (iv'e only had him 1 month) spoon feeds faily well but so fussy with finger foods will eat sandwich, crackers biscuits raisins that about it i always put other things on his plate he picks it up feels it and chucks it on the floor including all fruit. He will sit and watch the others eat fruit look at his then on the floor it goes won't even try it.

Angela

[manjay]

I don't think my 15 mth mindee gets chance to have a go at home as he "makes a mess"!! Unfortunately he has had to learn the hard way that if you sit next to my ds (22 mths) you have to eat up quickly or the food is likely to get stolen off your plate :D

amanda xx

[ma7ie]

I don't think my 15 mth mindee gets chance to have a go at home as he "makes a mess"!! Unfortunately he has had to learn the hard way that if you sit next to my ds (22 mths) you have to eat up quickly or the food is likely to get stolen off your plate :D

amanda xx

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

[jo hawkins]

i have a 21 month old who is the same. she will eat finger foods but her dinner she wont eat unless i put it on the spoon for her. but then again her dad sends her with blend food. ive tried talking to dad about giving her sandwiches etc but he wont have any of it. he thinks she should have puree food
Jo