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terrydoo73
12-02-2010, 12:41 PM
I have a little 2 1/2 year old who is leaving me today. I have been having a lot of problems with him not wanting to play with toys at my house - puts them away all the time and spends lot of the time rolling about on the couch and floor. I have got to the point where both my hubby and his mother question if this is in fact what he does do so am glad he is going.

Anyway today thought I would take some pictures of his play just more or less to convince myself that this is in fact what he does do a lot of the time! Pictures do not lie and I certainly have all the evidence - about 6 with him in different places just lying on the floor, rolling about. He has also had a bit of bother integrating and playing with the others I mind - his cousins a year younger. Again the pictures don't lie - I managed to catch him quite a few times today - pulling a toy off one of the twins, pushing another one onto the floor and a third one where he was scaring one of the twins with a toy - you should see the picture on the twins face!! There are quite a few of him playing on his own well sort of playing!!

Does anyone else have problems with this age group not wanting to play and rolling about a lot? I did think it was sleep was the problem - yesterday it definately was because he nearly feel asleep at the kitchen table eating his lunch! Mum of course did not tell me until pick up time that he had been up and down 5 times during the night!! I of course have strict instructions not to let him sleep unless it is a case of him going over himself because he will not sleep at night then (or that is mums reasoning anyway). Is it alright to let children of this age just get on with it whether that be rolling about on the floor, couch etc? I feel I am not and have not done enough to encourage him to join in play and of course guilty at mum having to take him elsewhere.

Problem is mum has hinted that he might be back again!! She has signed him up for 3 days private nursery hoping he will settle and that might mean he goes the other 2 days too - if not he might come back to me. She has signed him up to the end of June, then he will be at home for 2 months with them for hols but come September he is due to get his statutory 2 1/2 hours a day nursery placement - mum is thinking of what happens after this time each day. I really would prefer him to be gone once and for all as mum has not worked with me in resolving the problems I have had and my own self esteem has suffered quite a knockback as a result.

Tired
12-02-2010, 01:29 PM
You don't have to take him back if you don't want to. If the contract has ended, you are under no obligation to sign a new one.

I think some timed observations to see exactly what he did at 5 minute intervals might have helped mum believe you, and then be willing to work with you on this problem.

However, don't worry about it now, he is leaving so there is nothing you can do.

bexcee
12-02-2010, 01:34 PM
I would just say you are full come September when/if she asks you to take him back ;)

Is that what he does at home too, roll about on the floor etc? Maybe he doesn't know how to play, never been taught etc. How long has he been with you/. Sounds like things will run smoother for you and the other little ones once he isn't around.

As long as you have plenty of things available for him to play with, to stimulate him etc and you are trying to interact with him then you are doing all you can.

mama2three
12-02-2010, 01:34 PM
dont let it worry you - hes going and you can say 'no' if she asks to bring him back - id revel in telling her it was because she didnt trust your judgement the first time so you felt you could no longer work together!
Id be more worried about your husband questioning your judgement- why would he not accept what you told him about the child.
Ive given up even discussing my day with my other half!

terrydoo73
12-02-2010, 02:45 PM
dont let it worry you - hes going and you can say 'no' if she asks to bring him back - id revel in telling her it was because she didnt trust your judgement the first time so you felt you could no longer work together!
Id be more worried about your husband questioning your judgement- why would he not accept what you told him about the child.
Ive given up even discussing my day with my other half!

But how do you get through the day - I think I would bottle it all up and get so depressed although lately I have been wondering if there was another way of releasing all the tensions of my day. Hubby is my assistant for when I have 4 children but he thinks I am way over the top in my view of the child. Both he and mum think the sun rises and sets on this little boy. Hubby is never with me when these things happen - child turns it on and off knowing the people he can please! Also mum's father is friend of hubby and he would prefer me just to cope as best I can, say nothing to no-one and accept this is the way life is!

terrydoo73
12-02-2010, 02:47 PM
I would just say you are full come September when/if she asks you to take him back ;)

Is that what he does at home too, roll about on the floor etc? Maybe he doesn't know how to play, never been taught etc. How long has he been with you/. Sounds like things will run smoother for you and the other little ones once he isn't around.

As long as you have plenty of things available for him to play with, to stimulate him etc and you are trying to interact with him then you are doing all you can.

I have had this child for the past 2 years - since he was 9 months old. Just noticed this trend lately. Hubby thinks it is because he is going through the phase of every toy in the place is his to play with and no-one elses. Only problem is he will not play with the toys until the others pick them up to play with them then he objects by pushing, shoving, kicking, spitting etc. I am told at home he is very happy building lego and going outside to play. But then again I do have him 9 hours a day 5 days a week with mum and dad having him for the hour before dinner each night then after that it is bed!

terrydoo73
12-02-2010, 02:49 PM
Begs the question - how do you stimulate a child to play? I mean I have loads and I mean loads of toys and activities going on at my house but you cannot really force a child to play can you? I have asked him time and time again what would you like to play with or choose something that you would really like to do but he just looks blankly at me. Am I really doing enough for him?

mama2three
12-02-2010, 02:51 PM
i have cm friends i have a moan to , and i come on here!
dhs view of what i do ( and what i am expected by ofsted to do)bears no resemblance to reality anyhow - and of course as his job is so much more stressful than mine it winds him up if i have a moan.!.
i once told him about something that one of the children had done not long after i started. he told me in no uncertain terms that he had absolutely no interest in hearing about other peoples children - and that he had to humour me by listening to stories about ds but not anyone else! ut your hubby should know better if he is your assistant some of the time!

bexcee
12-02-2010, 02:55 PM
Maybe there is too much for him to chose from and he is just overwhelmed?

Tired
12-02-2010, 02:58 PM
Sounds like he was having trouble choosing. Until he saw another child with something he didn't realise how fun it was, then he wanted it.

Perhaps you have too much stuff available that he was bamboozled.

anyway, don't worry, he has gone now.

Ripeberry
12-02-2010, 04:38 PM
Sounds like a child at the pre-school last year. He would wander around not knowing what to do and as soon as any children were playing he would but into their game or destroy it :mad:
The only 'games' he initiated were fighting games and once he got hold of some plastic golf clubs and thought it was funny to hit everyone with it :(
He has now been diagnosed as having ADHD, but with extra help and maturity he is starting to learn how to share and to know what is appropriate.