Imaginary Friend

[anneriddington]

One of my little one (3 yrs lat Jan) has started to have an imaginary friend. He woke in the night on Monday very upset that 'Bank' was in his bedroom and was scared. Parents playgroup and me have tried to think where 'bank' may come from, but none of use have any clues. I have suggested to him that perhaps he could leave bank with me and I will keep him in my garage (a place the mindee never goes) and he said no because he was his friend. Im getting mixed messages from little one, says bank is at home and in his bedroom and he has started to talk about 'my bank' with me as well. Not upset just says he's at his house. Any advice. Mum is very worried, have said that it can be perfectly normal at his age for this to occur and not to worry too much.
Anyone got any more suggestions

[Pauline]

You might find this useful, it is from a child psychology section of a course I did years ago:

The days when concerned parents refuse to set a dinner place for their child's imaginary friend may be numbered. Researchers are investigating whether having an imaginary friend might help children to develop language skills, boost creativity and retain knowledge.
Research suggests that as many as one in four children may have an invisible friend or one that takes the form of a toy or doll.
Children with these kinds of companions have strong imaginations and are often very creative, which can be really useful to them as they develop.

It was difficult to tell in young children where the realms of fantasy and play ended, where reality began, and how real imaginary friends were to them. Some of them definitely appear to see them, they are not a problem in general although a parent may be worried if someone was 15 still had an imaginary friend.

Imaginary friends come in all shapes and sizes, some live in castles, some in the forest they become consistent characters, and mum will know what their names are.

[anneriddington]

Thanks Pauline, itsa tricky one do we include or ignore particularly as little one is scared of him! He is a very quiet child at the best of times and I am concerned he will withdraw to be "with his friend"

[sarah707]

Someone sold their imaginary friend on Ebay a while ago - the bids went very silly! :laughing:

Both my children had them... and they are perfectly normal well rounded teens now. They do invent lots of stories and change their minds about where their friends are depending on whether they are needing to rely on the game at that moment in their day - IFs don't necessarily travel in the car to get to you in a morning, they can just appear when needed :D

[Pauline]

So, let me just get this straight - he's scared of his own imaginary friend?

That is worrying isn't it, I can't see it being something you can deal with quickly, perhaps some long term observations watching him and how he intereacts with other children, what he does with the 'friend', what he says to it or about it etc. that ought to shed some light eventually but no quick fix I fear.

Will be interested to hear how this goes.

[tulip0803]

As a child I had lots of "boys" that I used to play with. Apparantly they were very noisy and naughty boys.:laughing: I was about 2 1/2 -3.

When I got older I had imaginary horses. I was 7 and even wrote about them in my diary :blush: .

At 2 1/2-3 my son had Peter who went everywhere for a while. He used to live on the ceiling:laughing:

Is he an only child? Both my son and I are eldest children. My brother and sister and my girls never had imaginery friends.

[Annie_T]

i wouldnt worry my girl (6years) has imagnary friends - ponies, fairies, etc. its normal for kids to have imagnary friends and actually helps them stimulate their brain. i would not worry at all.. tho 'bank' is a weird name i will say hmmm

[anneriddington]

Had a txt from mum this morning to say Z woke up in th night again, this time though he wasn't upset said that Bank was asleep and then that he had gone. I had spoken to him on Thurs and said if Bnk made him sad to tell him to stop it and go away like he would his friends at playgroup if they made him sad. Lets hope that tack has worked. He is a happy bright little boy and but he is very shy I wonder if bank is the confident boy coming out??