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yummymummy
12-03-2008, 12:06 PM
Although I have been doing this a long time I still find that when some parents collect the children run riot!
They run around showing off and if I try to take control I look like a fishwife! the parents just stand there and do nothing! One in particular will not cooperate with her parents so I have taken to having her coat and shoes on, but they don't just pick her up and go so she runs away and takes them all off again.
It drives me crazy as it seems as if they are a lot of little hooligans! But without their parent's being present they aren't like it.
I am sure it is because their parents are there so I am "not in charge" but it is still my house so it is not the parent's rules.
Has anyone else cracked it? to be honest it is just one in particular but she whips the others all up into a frenzy!!!! :angry:

Tily Bud
12-03-2008, 12:08 PM
this happens in my house so i try to talk to the parents when the child starts and agree who is going to be in charge , then stick to it - the child usually gets the message :D

avril
12-03-2008, 12:12 PM
I had this problem last wk with the twins I collect from school luckily only once a wk at home time they threw stones at the living window.:angry: Their Dad said come boys behave in a very lame manner, I chipped in if the window is damaged your Dad will have a very large bill to pay the twins and Dad just looked at me and the went off home.
I was so annoyed I sat and fumed maybe I should have come on here and vented my anger earlier!!

Avril x:)

Heaven Scent
12-03-2008, 12:36 PM
Put it in your policies that you are in charge until they leave your property and parents should respect that. Put it in bold.

Celine

Twinkles
12-03-2008, 12:47 PM
I agree with putting it in your policiy. I have had this problem in the past and said to the child in front of the parent
' Now you know you're not allowed to do that. Just because mummy/daddy is here doesn't mean the rules change.'
Why do parents just stand there and let the kids run riot?

miffy
12-03-2008, 12:51 PM
I agree with Twinkles I think you have to be quite clear to both the parents and the child that you are still in charge and your rules count

If the child acts up for the parents either have that child ready for when parent arrives or ask parent to wait outside while you sort out the child.

Good luck

Miffy xx

manjay
12-03-2008, 12:55 PM
I agree with putting it in your policiy. I have had this problem in the past and said to the child in front of the parent
' Now you know you're not allowed to do that. Just because mummy/daddy is here doesn't mean the rules change.'
Why do parents just stand there and let the kids run riot?

I agree totally. I make this quite clear with parents when we a talking about behaviour that my rules are gospel in my house no matter who is there. Mine don't have much chance to play up at home time because as soon as the doorbell goes they are ushered into the porch to get shoes and coats on. Parents are aware I need a very quick handover as I usually have plenty of other children left to deal with.

amanda xx

disney
12-03-2008, 01:31 PM
i do have this problem as well with some of them , i have one boy who says whens my mum coming then when she does come he runs off also he starts running around the house and goes in the electric unit . and i say why are you going in their you know your not allowed . but he never does this with me :angry: only when mum comes but now i have started to get um ready and try to get them all out asap x

Tatia
12-03-2008, 01:38 PM
I have a 5 year old who is dreadful when his father comes to collect him. Absolutely dreadful. I just finally starting handing out punishment in front of the dad, like fine, no playstation tomorrow. I feel like all I do is tell him off in front of his father and that's not the image I want him to take away with him because we actually get along really well. I make sure to tell dad how good he has been and how nice the rest of our time has been together.

sarah707
12-03-2008, 02:18 PM
I tell the parents that it's my house and my rules - I have a little girl who hides and jumps on the sofa and dad just stands there sort of ineffectually grinning...

Sorry though yummy... I think the answer to your question is NO... we don't have any answers... but at least you know now you're not alone! :p

angeldelight
12-03-2008, 04:23 PM
Yep get it all the time at the door running around the garden touching flowers hanging on the gate - all stuff that they would not do if parent was not there

Paents just stand there

It is annoying so you are def not alone in this

I do tell the kids to stop it now very firm in front of parents and I stop chatting and look at the child - so then the parent does the same most of the time it does work

Hope you get it sorted

Angel xx

Splish Splosh
12-03-2008, 04:39 PM
yes. I have one as soon as mum rings the bell she demands food and tries to run off and raid the cupboard, that really winds me up!!!!! WHY OH WHY doesnt she turn up with something for her knowing she does that? Glad to see its not just me that deals with it!!!

sarah32
12-03-2008, 04:48 PM
I have the same problem with a 2 year old, shes already when mum comes but runs in the other direction and throws herself on the floor, mum said last time do you want to stay with sarah which i replied no, thats not a option. She does let her get away with it. :mad:

I had to tell her off today as mum asked her to put toy down as going and she said no, told her to do as mummy said and she said no to me, gave her a look which seemed to work, mum didnt say a word.

I think both my parents know im in charge until they leave my house.

My 11 month screams when mummy collects him, so much mummy gives him back to me to stop him, dont agree with it but he doesnt understand.

I dont think theres any answer, hopefully they will grow out of it or bribe them when they get older and understand.:) :laughing:

cherry
12-03-2008, 05:14 PM
I always thought that I had a magic doorbell, the children are well behaved until their parents rings the doorbell and then they turn into little monsters:angry:

Schnakes
12-03-2008, 05:47 PM
I used to have one who was particularly bad at this (although I still have similar problems with the kids I have now, nothing beat this child!!!).

As soon as her mum was there she turned into the most horrible child in the world!! Having kicking screaming tantrums, being rude, trying to run away, not doing as she was told...I put up with it for a while (I used to think - your kid, your problem, you deal with it, but the mum DIDNT deal with it!!).

In the end she got treated exactly thr way she would have if her mum wasnt there - The mum always looked absolutely horrified that someone dare disipline her child...but FFS, someone had to do it!!!

Sx

Banana
12-03-2008, 05:52 PM
Ive got one who as soon as mum or dad arrives pushes all my dvds off the shelf and starts pressing all the buttons on the dvd and vhs players. It drives me barmy. The mum does tell him off though, but ots been going on for about 5 months this scenario - Im at the point that I just have to accept it cos nothing I do gets him to stop it!

x

Trouble
12-03-2008, 06:21 PM
i hate this part of childminding and it drives me nuts tomorrow is my worst day and i just take them down when they bounce on the sofa as im sick of asking now but ill only have him for 2 more weeks and 1 week hes not here (ahh what a shame) see youve got me started again now :laughing:

Rubybubbles
12-03-2008, 07:01 PM
must be the day for it today!!

Mum come into the hall, and left the door open, her lo ran off, to which mum pracy danced to get him back saying nothing, so when he got back, I said 'you don;t do that for Me * you shouldn't do it for mummy, to which he started crying and mum giving him a huge hug:angry: ffs it took 20 mins today to get him home as he was having a complete meltdown, I could off shook mum ':censored: grab him and get him out'

Phew sorry

Rubybubbles
12-03-2008, 07:02 PM
I always thought that I had a magic doorbell, the children are well behaved until their parents rings the doorbell and then they turn into little monsters:angry:



:idea: hit the nail on the head there:thumbsup:

emler
13-03-2008, 09:51 AM
I've got a 5 year old mindee who seems to grow devil horns as soon as his mum arrives to collect him.
Last week he was leaping about on the sofa and mum said nothing! I certainly told him though.

Emler x

yummymummy
13-03-2008, 10:16 AM
:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:
Sorry girls, but that is what is so fantastic about this website, you find out that you are not alone!!!!

Clever Clogs
14-03-2008, 11:29 PM
Gosh I'm reading this and thinking - what is it with parents (me included!) I've not really started yet but by going by experience watching friends kids etc - one of my daughters friends (they've both grown up together since 6 months, now 6 years) he has been great with me but the minute mum or dad's around - he is a total nightmare!! Even my daughter - when she's with me she will test me to the limits, when I worked my mum would look after her and she was a s good as gold all day - the minute I arrived she was a nightmare! How does that work? why are they like that - is it cause they know they will get away with more with their parents? I have said in the last couple of weeks - give me someone else's child - they always behave better than mine and it's been confirmed by another childminder in my daughter's dance class, other peoples kids she is great with - her own just causes problems!

Why????
Tracey

Schnakes
15-03-2008, 08:29 AM
I think there could b two reasons. First is that it is very stressful for them, subconsciously, to be away from their parents all day etc, and their emotions overcome them when they see their parents.

Second is that the parents let them get away with it!!!

When my daughter used to go to a childminder, when I picked her up she would clam up and go all shy! The childminder always used to say "shes not like this when you arent here"...funny, isnt it!!

Sx

Pipsqueak
15-03-2008, 09:11 AM
Phew, its not just me then.... I am convinced that the parents think their child is like this all day. Thankfully Dad has turned up early a couple of times and witnessed that young lady is fine and having fun.

The minute Mum/Dad arrive and says get your coat or makes mention of going home mindee turns into the child from hell, running around the house, play fighting the other children, provoking the dogs and my youngest son and then screams blue murder if my son retaliates (this is the nightmare child who has recently started making up tales that just could not have happened).

Dad is such a drip and stands there grinning and shrugging his shoulders so I have now taken the bull by the horns and started clamping down on the behaviour and saying you don't behave like this all day blah blah.

Yesterday Dad collected, opened the door and let lo run outside who ran straight into the road between two parked cars - I shouted at ther to stop and Dad just stood there saying quitely stop stop.... he didn't even run after her! LO stopped in the middle of the road and I was calling for her to get out of the road (I had my own son in my arms at the time and was about to drop him to go after her) as I could hear a car coming.
Dad just laughed and strolled across to her and said that she must stop before crossing the road (she is 3) and then turned back to me (in the middle of the road) and grinned!!!:eek: :eek:

The sibling to this LO always seems to need the loo as soon as parents turn up and he is in there ages..... and then he always needs to tell them a blow by blow account of his day at school.... and then the parent needs to listen.....


This job would be great without the parents to deal with....:D

deeb66
15-03-2008, 10:34 AM
I find that all parents are the same!

I can understand they like to chat and know about their child's day and they like to have a good chatty relationship....I really don't mind this as long as they do it in their own time!

I tell parents that if they want to talk to me then they should arrive 10-15 mins before the end of contract time.

A couple of mins before they are due to arrive I put coats and shoes on the kids and open the door with the children ready to leave. I block the doorway so that they can't come in!

I have one little girl at the moment who turns tail and starts bouncing all over my sofa and put her feet up so now I hold her hand when I open the door and although she tries to get away she ges steered towards the doormat!

I don't encourage long chats on the doorstep s the kids are usually running wld around the front garden!