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PRINCESSDAISYFLOWER
27-01-2010, 12:29 PM
This is going to be a long post!!!

So i have been minding a boy X since he was 9 months old, he is now 3. he has recently come back after spending 6 months with his mum whilst on maternity leave. I dont like labbeling children naughty but he has always been a naughty boystrous lad. Well he has come back to me a terror. Take today for example he was spiting so i told him to stop as its not nice, I then got a load of abuse "i hate u, ur stupid" etc, was kicked, punched scratched and bitten. At this point i had had enough and called his dad who came and picked him up leaving is little sister who we also minds with us.

His dad told him he wasnt going to nursery this afternoon which he loves and has to stay in his room for the rest of the day. His parents do dicipline him and are also disgusted by his behaviour so they dont let him get away with things.

But i have tried everything, loads of positive praise, reward charts, stickers etc but nothing works. One of my other mindees told me today she is scared of X.

Giving notice is not really an option, any ideas guys?

suzyblue
27-01-2010, 12:38 PM
I had a child this this years ago and I managed to turn his behaviour around. All kids are different though but I played with him on the floor and as soon as he started hitting me I told him that wasnt a nice way to play and turned away for a few minutes. After a minute or so I would turn around and start having fun playing with him again until he did it again. After about 1-2 weeks he stopped doing it and played nicely. It was really rewarding to see. I would use a lot of praise when he behaved and take my attention away from him when he didnt. I worked at a nursery however so I could concentrate on this little boy while other staff looked after the other children.
Good luck!

madredann
27-01-2010, 12:41 PM
This is a tricky one. In no way accepting what he has done etc and in no way judging you but kids are very clever and if he thinks that by treating you this way he is going to get sent home maybe he is doing it for this reason/or will in future. Is mom still at home with baby

suzyblue
27-01-2010, 12:45 PM
Me again...
I think taking things away from him (dad not letting go to nursery) will make him angry and frustrated and make the situation worse. Bring in some positivity by saying 'you are going to nursery today because you were very good before lunch or whenever (even if it was only for a minute that he wasnt badly behaved, maybe while on the loo or engrossed in a toy)

PRINCESSDAISYFLOWER
27-01-2010, 12:49 PM
No mums at work and i have the baby. I initially thought this too. but mum told me as soon as he starts hitting me to call dad to get him. As he will be made to sit in his room and not play for the rest of the day. He really enjoys coming to us and to nursery as he loves playing with others and running about so to him going home is a punishment. He is very clever and very articulate, but just has such a temper on him, he gets so angry, its like a red mist come over him and nothing u do or say will stop him, Even when i walk away from him he will run over to get his final kick in!

sandy64
27-01-2010, 01:01 PM
hi hard one but i think you ringing dad everytime he may do it more as he knows daddy will come (i no its mums choice) but hes just got a new baby so not centre of attention unless hes doing wrong things i completely agree with you his behavior is unexeptable and needs to stop he sounds a very frustrated little boy could he choice activitys to make him feel in charge? does he sit for 3mins timeout or would he get worse, sorry not helping am i.

PRINCESSDAISYFLOWER
27-01-2010, 01:48 PM
Time out doesnt seem to bother him in the slightest. I praise him loads and give him lots of "big boy" jobs. He loves the younger children and is very loving towards them. He can be the most caring, wonderful little boy but when he gets angry he is just uncontrollable. Im gonna tell the parents later that i dont think its a good idea for him to be taken home. They are equally as frustrated as i am about it all and are willing to work with me to help him.

mamasheshe
27-01-2010, 01:57 PM
maybe come up with a plan that you all can stick to (do they have any problems with him at nursery?? ) because putting him up in his room at home may work for them but probably not something you can do in your setting having parents on your side and willing to support you is great maybe work on the behavior together good luck xx

wendywu
27-01-2010, 02:00 PM
I would get very visibly cross with him and very firmly place him away from you and other mindees.

When he has calmed down and said sorry then do a personality change, become bright and happy and very visibly pleased with him.:)

breezy
27-01-2010, 02:23 PM
I would get very visibly cross with him and very firmly place him away from you and other mindees.

When he has calmed down and said sorry then do a personality change, become bright and happy and very visibly pleased with him.:)

and lots of praise when he's doing the right thing

The Juggler
27-01-2010, 02:30 PM
I would get very visibly cross with him and very firmly place him away from you and other mindees.

When he has calmed down and said sorry then do a personality change, become bright and happy and very visibly pleased with him.:)

definiately and tell him I am cross, you hitting me hurts/makes me very sad. If he's three you might start saying, no-one hits you do they. You would feel sad if xx hit you?

Start to get him to think more about his actions on others maybe.

PRINCESSDAISYFLOWER
27-01-2010, 03:07 PM
Thanks for all the advice ladies.


definiately and tell him I am cross, you hitting me hurts/makes me very sad. If he's three you might start saying, no-one hits you do they. You would feel sad if xx hit you?

Start to get him to think more about his actions on others maybe.

I have done this, the main problem is that he wants to hurt me, he lashes out at me to hurt me, hence the lovely bite mark on my hand. Once he calms down he is apologetic. Im gonna carefully be watching him to see if i can get to him before he erupts x

suzyblue
27-01-2010, 05:17 PM
Is he tired? I had a child that turned into a monster when he got tired.....

sandy64
27-01-2010, 06:12 PM
Time out doesnt seem to bother him in the slightest. I praise him loads and give him lots of "big boy" jobs. He loves the younger children and is very loving towards them. He can be the most caring, wonderful little boy but when he gets angry he is just uncontrollable. Im gonna tell the parents later that i dont think its a good idea for him to be taken home. They are equally as frustrated as i am about it all and are willing to work with me to help him.

hi it must be so frustrating for you and his family has he always been like this or is it since mum has had baby? you are doing everythink you can to help him must be very hard when hes biting and kicking you at least parents are working with you i really hope he gets easier for you soon.