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View Full Version : don't want an argurment what do i say?



TRACEY1969
22-01-2010, 07:54 AM
i childmind for a 20 month old and his parents have has set holidays but didn't know this until i wanted time off in the school holidays. They aren't allowed to take time off in school holidays (which i think this is wrong) she has just posted a holiday rota through my door for August 2010 to July 2011 with dates i am not allowed to have OMG these are the dates
Not allowed to have the following off these dates are called Closed Periods

22 Aug - 4 Sept 2010
10 Oct - 20 Nov 2010
12 Dec - 23 Jan 2011
17 Apr - 7 May 2011
21 May - 4 June 2011

Total of 20 weeks

These are the weeks which are half term hols. i rung her up and said we have to come to some compromise with the holidays because im not allowed to take my kids out of school. I know there are 3 weeks free in August but i have to wait to see what her manager books first as he has 2 weeks off then the staff choose there holidays dates. I told her this isn't fair on me or my family and can anyone else help her out if i choose a closed period, she said no. I sugested that i would find another childminder for her but she wasn't happy. I have tried now im getting mad and she is the type of person who everyone loves and people who listern to her if she said a bad word against me.

Please help me as i don't want this to get out of hand but i am furious with her and feel like handing me notice in after this year.

Tracey

PS just had another letter through me door and she states

" as long as i do my 4 days in closed periods i doesn't matter what days i do as long as i have child care available"

Doesn't this mean i still have to work in my time i have booked off ????

FizzysFriends
22-01-2010, 08:02 AM
I would provisionally arrange for back up CM to be available and then tell the parents the dates you will be off and the details of back CM.

She should have asked you about this before signing contracts not now!

TRACEY1969
22-01-2010, 08:06 AM
my friends a Cm but she is full at the moment but like she said you can't plan that far in advance with other Cms because when it comes to the time they might not have the space for me.

singingcactus
22-01-2010, 08:12 AM
I'm afraid I would be saying too bad, these are the dates I need for you to arrange back up care because I will be on holiday with my family.
I wouldn't let a parent tell me what time I can spend with only my children. I always take my holidays during school holidays because then my kids are off school and I get to spend quality time with MY kids.
Honestly, don't let her push you around on something this important. You need family time with your kids in order to properly care for her kids - and you need time off over christmas.

sweets
22-01-2010, 08:12 AM
i personally wouldnt put up with that! did she tell about holidays before you took the child on? we are self employed and shoud be able to take our holiday as and when we want, as long as we give plenty of notice.

i would tell her that im sorry but those holidays dont fit in my my family and that you will take your holidays when you can and give her as much notice as possible and try and recommend another childminder that her child knows.

PixiePetal
22-01-2010, 08:18 AM
Your business, your rules!

She will just have to work it out another way, if she is so set in HER RULES, I would give notice.

If you were ill she would have to find someone else, she had better start looking!


Getting off my high horse now, she is not being fair. Maybe she does not realise how we work - being self employed. Is this her first child and not used to the ways of childminding?

You need to have a chat with her and try to come to a suitable arrangement to clear things up. What does your contract say about holidays. Why did she not think to mention it before?

Good luck x

TRACEY1969
22-01-2010, 08:19 AM
i am going to make some enquires about nurseries today if they do holiday periods for her instead of asking CMs because they might not have the space when the time comes.

I didn't know anything about the holidays dates when the contact was signed. I also told her when her son starts school she would have the same problem

Tracey

wendywu
22-01-2010, 08:20 AM
She fits in with your established and already running business. She does not alter it to suit just her.

She does not employ you like a nanny.:angry:

You have what holidays you want, her working practice is her problem. As long as you give the required notice of them as is stated in the contract.:mad:

TRACEY1969
22-01-2010, 08:22 AM
Your business, your rules!

She will just have to work it out another way, if she is so set in HER RULES, I would give notice.

If you were ill she would have to find someone else, she had better start looking!


Getting off my high horse now, she is not being fair. Maybe she does not realise how we work - being self employed. Is this her first child and not used to the ways of childminding?

You need to have a chat with her and try to come to a suitable arrangement to clear things up. What does your contract say about holidays. Why did she not think to mention it before?

Good luck x

My contact states you must give 4 weeks notice prior to any holiday and i will be taking 4 weeks off for my holidays.

This is her first child but they are older parents so it was a shock.

solly
22-01-2010, 08:24 AM
I would not let her dictate when you have to take your holiday:angry:

I take my holiday when i want to and either the parents take the same time off as me but if that doesnt suit they either find family to do it or i have a small group of cm friends and we all help each other out with holiday cover.

I would certainly now give her your holiday dates and say you will find alternative cover with another minder if she requires it

wendywu
22-01-2010, 08:27 AM
Whats her address....Cloud Cuckoo Land :laughing: :laughing:

ajs
22-01-2010, 08:37 AM
i am afraid i agree with everyone else

YOUR BUSINESS YOUR RULES.
i wouldn't look for alternative care for her child that's her business, but what i would do now is book 4 weeks holiday for you and yours and hand her the dates
regardless of what she says, you run your business your way, she does not tell you how to.

have you got any other mindees

Pudding Girl
22-01-2010, 08:45 AM
It simply doesn't work that way, I think she has misunderstood that you are a self employed person not their nanny who they can dictate to in this respect.

I assume you have just this one mindee then as when you have more than one you cannot possibly all co-ordinate holidays so someone always has to sort out aternative care.

I have had 8 families all at once and not one of them co-incided! They get told when I am taking holidays and sort any care out themselves.

TRACEY1969
22-01-2010, 08:49 AM
It simply doesn't work that way, I think she has misunderstood that you are a self employed person not their nanny who they can dictate to in this respect.

I assume you have just this one mindee then as when you have more than one you cannot possibly all co-ordinate holidays so someone always has to sort out aternative care.

I have had 8 families all at once and not one of them co-incided! They get told when I am taking holidays and sort any care out themselves.

i have this one 3 days a week, my grandson 1 day and a new mindee starting April for 2 days

TRACEY1969
22-01-2010, 08:56 AM
she has just rung me about the rota. I told her if i choose a holiday when its a closed period i will give her some telephone numbers so she can make arrangments, she said what if they haven't got spaces and i said i have given her plenty of notice to sort child care out ( 12 months notice do you think thats enough lol)

Tracey

Mouse
22-01-2010, 09:02 AM
Like you said, you don't want an argument over this, so I wouldn't be confrontational and say you won't do it.

I would phone her or write a letter & take a softer approach. Say you have considered the dates she has given you, but you're sorry to say you cannot arrange your holidays around them. Talk a bit about being self employed and explain about not being able to please everyone all the time when it comes to holiday times (give the example of if you had several families, you couldn't suit them all). Then give her some alternatives - other cms, holiday schemes etc.
Be firm, but fair. At the end of the day, if she's not happy she can go somewhere else, but she's very unlikely to get a cm who would agree to her dates.

It could be that she doesn't fully understand how a childminder works and isn't being funny with you, telling you how to run your business. When I discuss holidays with new parents I do ask if they know what their own arrangements are about taking time off (how much notice do they need to give, are there any times they can't take off, would they want alternative care if I was on holiday or would they take time off etc).

miffy
22-01-2010, 09:28 AM
Like you said, you don't want an argument over this, so I wouldn't be confrontational and say you won't do it.

I would phone her or write a letter & take a softer approach. Say you have considered the dates she has given you, but you're sorry to say you cannot arrange your holidays around them. Talk a bit about being self employed and explain about not being able to please everyone all the time when it comes to holiday times (give the example of if you had several families, you couldn't suit them all). Then give her some alternatives - other cms, holiday schemes etc.
Be firm, but fair. At the end of the day, if she's not happy she can go somewhere else, but she's very unlikely to get a cm who would agree to her dates.

It could be that she doesn't fully understand how a childminder works and isn't being funny with you, telling you how to run your business. When I discuss holidays with new parents I do ask if they know what their own arrangements are about taking time off (how much notice do they need to give, are there any times they can't take off, would they want alternative care if I was on holiday or would they take time off etc).

I agree with this - it doesn't sound as though she has any idea how a childminder works. Explaining that you would not be able to fit in with all your parents holiday dates might help. At the end of the day though it's her problem not yours.

Good luck, hope you can sort it out amicably.

Miffy xx

nikim
22-01-2010, 09:47 AM
i agree with what everyone else has said , is she expecting you to work christmas day also???, and what happens if you are ill , i think that if she wont agree to your holidays and makes things difficult then maybe you should consider giving notice, personally i think she would do better to use a nursery if she is needing childcare year round ,

funfunfun
22-01-2010, 09:48 AM
I would be saying ............YOU choose when YOU have holidays !!!

The mindee's parents dont choose as long as you give them some sort of notice thats fine

Its your bussiness ad you have the right to a holiday as much as the next person

Cheek of it :) chin up :)

Im sure you will work somthing out

The Juggler
22-01-2010, 02:10 PM
how dare she. she cannot tell you you can't have hols. she can ask nicely! I would smile politely and say this was not discussed at contract signing or a compromise would have been reached. You will accommodate her as best you can but you will book your holidays and help her find alternative care if necessary.

surely they can't BOTH be in this position??? do they work in the same office.

BeckenhamCM
22-01-2010, 02:24 PM
Hi Tracey,

I can't really add anymore to what anyone else has said here as they have all given good advice already.

But I had to post as I just can't beleive this woman thinks that she has the right to tell you when you can and can't have holidays ! Who does she thinks she is ?! You have just as much as a right to time off with your family as she does with hers, and she has to understand that. If she can't then I think I would be giving her notice.

The fact is she should have mentioned this before contracts were signed, and if she hasn't then there is nothing she can do to make you do what she has asked, you are under no obligation to her other than what is stated in your signed contracts.

I hope you work something out, and don't be afraid to stand up to this woman, it sounds like she is trying to bulldoze you into something you aren't happy with.

Ash xx

babydayz
22-01-2010, 02:56 PM
They are being totally unreasonable, it is your home, your business and your rules, stick to your guns if they think they can push you around this time they will do it agian with something else. :)

georgie456
22-01-2010, 05:54 PM
I'm sorry but you are self employed!!!! I would not put up with a parent informing me when I can and cannot take holiday.

I would be have a serious chat explaining that while you sympathise with her situation, your family comes first and you will take holiday when it suits you and not the other way around.
It is amazing that she chose not to advise of this arrangement when signing the contract - it is a fairly major issue!!!!

If she does not want to use your alternative arranged care, then let her find a childminder who will put up with having forced holidays. I imagine they are a bit thin on the ground to be honest.

Good luck x

Winnie
22-01-2010, 06:01 PM
i childmind for a 20 month old and his parents have has set holidays but didn't know this until i wanted time off in the school holidays. They aren't allowed to take time off in school holidays (which i think this is wrong) she has just posted a holiday rota through my door for August 2010 to July 2011 with dates i am not allowed to have OMG these are the dates
Not allowed to have the following off these dates are called Closed Periods

22 Aug - 4 Sept 2010
10 Oct - 20 Nov 2010
12 Dec - 23 Jan 2011
17 Apr - 7 May 2011
21 May - 4 June 2011

Total of 20 weeks

These are the weeks which are half term hols. i rung her up and said we have to come to some compromise with the holidays because im not allowed to take my kids out of school. I know there are 3 weeks free in August but i have to wait to see what her manager books first as he has 2 weeks off then the staff choose there holidays dates. I told her this isn't fair on me or my family and can anyone else help her out if i choose a closed period, she said no. I sugested that i would find another childminder for her but she wasn't happy. I have tried now im getting mad and she is the type of person who everyone loves and people who listern to her if she said a bad word against me.

Please help me as i don't want this to get out of hand but i am furious with her and feel like handing me notice in after this year.

Tracey

PS just had another letter through me door and she states

" as long as i do my 4 days in closed periods i doesn't matter what days i do as long as i have child care available"

Doesn't this mean i still have to work in my time i have booked off ????

You take your holiday when you want to as long as you give enough notice ie 4 weeks. I take 25 days plus bank hols- and when i want to. Parents pay when they are on holiday but not when i'm on holiday (if its the same time as mine they do not pay). Under the EYFS we must help parents find alternitive care- just give them the phone number of the CIS (or .gov) if you can not recommend another minder. I'm finding it hard to understand how they come to think they can tell you what to do :eek:

jelly15
22-01-2010, 06:08 PM
I think there was a good reason she didn't mention this when you were signing contracts:rolleyes: . Like everyone else has said she can not tell you when you can or can't take time off. For heavens sake if she gave it a little thought she would realise that if you worked around all the parents holidays you would be working 52 weeks a year. Crazy woman:angry: . I think you have done enough trying to help her find alternative care, if she doesn't like it tell her to b....r off to a nursery or employ a nanny.

Trouble
22-01-2010, 06:13 PM
some excellent advise here

big hugs xxxxx

jumpinjen
22-01-2010, 06:14 PM
Whats her address....Cloud Cuckoo Land :laughing: :laughing:

Some people genuinely believe that the world revolves around them!!

Good on you for standing up for yourself politely!!!! Enjouy holiday hunting.... go some place hot and make sure you send her a postcard!!!!

Jenni:D

Zoomie
22-01-2010, 06:18 PM
Not sure what field of work your parent is in, but whatever it is, there are those new laws (can't remember what they are called, but been around a few years now) where parents with children under the age of 5 are allowed to ask for flexible working hours. Employers have to consider it and can only say no if there is a 'business viability case'. Goggle it and give the parent the info, or tell them to go to Citizen's Advice, they will know more.

Also parent should check that they don't have a 'emergency / parental leave' cluase in their contracts (most have, in case of family death or crisis), they can then take off work, though it is most likely unpaid (not your prob).

Finally, why can't dad take off when you are on hols, and then mum doesn't have to worry about her precious job (sorry).

HTHs

nannymcflea
22-01-2010, 08:35 PM
Does her contract say " 4 weeks notice" of cm hols? If so then 4 weeks it is and she has to find cover.

she does not employ you or pay your wages so has no hold of how you run your business.

Take YOUR holidays when YOU want and she can sort her job out.

little_gems
22-01-2010, 09:06 PM
i think a lot of parents think we work for THEM!! it really annoys me:angry:

Lincsminder
22-01-2010, 09:18 PM
Not sure what field of work your parent is in, but whatever it is, there are those new laws (can't remember what they are called, but been around a few years now) where parents with children under the age of 5 are allowed to ask for flexible working hours. Employers have to consider it and can only say no if there is a 'business viability case'. Goggle it and give the parent the info, or tell them to go to Citizen's Advice, they will know more.


HTHs

ha ha what a joke, my husband works for a goverment department and even they dont follow these rules. He has had to fight to get a week off in may during the school holidays and even thenj they are insisting he goes in for one of the days. His frien requestd term time only and she got turned down also, so there might be laws but alot of employers can get around them.

polly0
22-01-2010, 09:33 PM
How dare she:angry:

My contracts state 4 weeks notice for holidays and my parents fit around me, if i had to fit around all my parents it would never work. I have to also fit my holidays when my hubby is off so it does get complicated:laughing:

But its my business and my rules :clapping: