View Full Version : new mindee really missing mum

20-01-2010, 10:29 PM
hi everyone..
this is the first time I've had a mindee really upset about leaving mum.. he's 2years5mths .. and spent a few settling in days and then on his 2nd day he's intermittantly cried for mum .. I'd saying twice in a half hour period for 8 hours...

I've tried taking him out .. which works but when we come back to my setting it all seems to start off again unless the telly is on..:o ...

I've made up a visual timetable for him but I think having 7-8 activities before mum comes is all a bit too much.. I've got photos but he cries when he sees his mum.. and everytime he sees anything else (even my sofa) it all reminds him of home and he cries again. I remember feeling the exact same about my mum so my heart goes out to the lil chap ...

please can someone offer advice on what you would do.. he's really lovely when he is with his mum and obviously loves her ooddles but are there any really good techniques to help sooth him?

thanks a lotxx:)

20-01-2010, 10:34 PM
I had a little chap just a little younger, that would come up sobbing and say 'mum' regularly, what i use to say in a really cheerful and upbeat voice is 'yes later, mummy is going to get pennies to buy nice things for you, and she'll come and see you after x (the last likely thing he would do here, have snack, go to school etc).

He would be told this quite a few times and he would say 'oh' and gradually he asked less and less and i would then just say 'yes later' and now he doesn't ask at all.

I find the more upbeat and reassuring it sounds the more effect i have than when i try the soothing, soppy approach like 'don't worry, aw come and have a cuddle' I used to use this and i found it made it worse generally and the upbeat very happy approach seems to work better!

The Juggler
21-01-2010, 09:55 AM
i had a little girl 2 1/2 who did this. she sobbed quite a lot for first few weeks not all day but quite a lot. she had never been away from mum and mum was quite anxious and protective. I gave her lots of cuddles. But she would sit with her head in my lap. I gently started to sit her up to read to her or play with something with her practically in my lap and gradually she ventured further and then stopped crying.

Rather than the 7 or eight activities maybe just say we'll play, have lunch, have another play and then it'll be nearly time for mum to come (what time does she collect?).

if you have other children after school make a big thing out of that, then we'll go and fetch xxx - I'm sure soon he will start looking forward to seeing the other/older children.