View Full Version : Babys first day.... what a nightmare.

13-01-2010, 01:18 PM
Had a new mindee start today he is 9 months old. Had suggested to parents visiting with him before the start date to help with settling him in but they didn't get round to it.
Well it is his first day today and he has done nothing but scream. He is fine whilst being held but screamed when I put him down to feed the other children. He is now sat in the highchair with his dinner (Finger foods) screaming.

I have him again tomorrow, I think I will take the headache tablets before he arrives. I hope he soon gets used to me, I feel really bad that he is screaming all the time I'm really not that bad!

13-01-2010, 01:26 PM
It's seperation anxiety - v. common especially at this age - chin up x

13-01-2010, 01:28 PM
o dear its not nice when no matter what you do they cry im sure he will soon get use to you and being away from mum and settle in well that age is hard as its seperation anxiety as well get the instruements out babies like loud noisys he may get distracted or you may need extra headache pills lol hopa all goes well let me no how tommorrow goes

13-01-2010, 01:44 PM
It's very tough without any settling in sessions at all.

That is naughty of the parents... they should prioritise their child!

I hope he settles quickly :D

13-01-2010, 02:28 PM
Poor child having to adjust to a whole new 'family' without any preparation.
I would suggest that wherever possible today and the next few days sit him on your knee and cuddle him whilst playing with other mindees and being soothing in the way you speak to him. At the times you can't hold him, such as mealtimes, keep up the soothing words, talk to him about everything you are doing. If you need to prepare a meal then sit him in the highchair near you with a few toys whilst you do what you need to do. Keep smiling at him and making him feel welcome, and before long you'll get a smile back.

13-01-2010, 06:17 PM
Thanks you for all your advice.

When mum collected him she said he was very clingy at home at the moment. I noticed when he was sat on my lap he liked scratching my jeans and the table with his fingers so I got my treasure basket out. That kept him quiet for a while although he still refused to leave my lap.

I think I will start putting him down for short periods of time tomorrow and just be prepared for a bit of crying as I have 2 other mindees as well tomorrow.

13-01-2010, 06:34 PM
Hope he settles quickly, take some anadin before he arrives tomorrow:laughing:

13-01-2010, 06:41 PM
I had the same problem last week ... new 7 mnth old mindee started with me and she screamed constantly didn't want to be picked up...didn't want to stay on the floor...wouldn't sit in highchair...wouldn't let me leave the room so I was at the end of my tether but by Friday she started to calm down. Now she wants to be picked up all the time and screams if she isn't especially at tea time when I have to make tea for the other children (so I sit her in her highchair with some finger foods...she still screams but I figure the only way to break the habit of her wanting to be picked up is by ignoring her - mum says it's her fault because she picks lo up all the time).

Keep going...it will get better :thumbsup:

13-01-2010, 09:21 PM
I've had a bad couple of days too with a screaming mindee! She's just turned 1 and has been with me for 3 months. She's very happy with me but has always been really demanding and screams whenever she wants attention (which is most of the time!)

This week I've had a new mindee start. She's settling really well but the first mindee has been more demanding than ever!
I don't really know how to deal with her because she's not got seperation anxiety but she screams whenever I so much as look at the new mindee and she wants to be attached to me all day long......HELP! :panic: :panic:

yvonne Sykes
15-01-2010, 04:52 PM
Hi! sorry to hear that, I had same problem, even after visits, but I stayed at home for a few weeks until he felt secure in MY surroundings, and that seemed to do the trick. He's 15 months now and absolutely gorgeous, I'm so glad i persevered, but at the time Iwas ready to throw in the towel after the settling in period!

15-01-2010, 05:24 PM

I can really sympathise with that, even though you know why they are so upset it leaves your head ringing by the end of the day. I had two at 1yr once and everytime I went to the toilet they would look at each other, walk to the stair gate and just scream until I came back:eek: Had to call my mum in for some support!

Now when I have a new baby in I pop them in a baby carrier sling for first couple of days if after the settling in they are feeling distressed. (I know, I know - seems like it will make it worse and a bit extreme! othere CM's at the meeting I used to go to used to think I was mad!) But I'd only need to do it for a day or two and gradualy reduced time in it - no crying, happy content child who soon got bored and wanted to play, mum was happy and that's just what I do now - NOT YET had the prob of them not wanting to be put down and it meant I had my hands free. (ERGO carrier is best as it's comfy) There needs to be a smiley for flexing muscles!!:)

Hang in there it will get better xx