Feeding fussy children

[Roseolivia]

2 Questions
My 8yr mindee is very fussy when it comes to food. He won't eat most things i cook so i make him sandwiches, ravioli, macaroni cheese. He is now refusing to eat any veg at all and wasting what i make. The last 2 times he's done this i've not gave him any pudding (which he's not bothered about, says he'll get some when he gets home), do you think this is okay?
This same mindee is consantly silly at the dinner table, saying silly words (poo etc..), flicking food on the floor, to name a few bad table manners he displays. I've told him and his mum that until he starts to behave properly he's going to have to sit at the table on his own either before or after we've had our tea. Do you think this is okay?
Mum's okay about this but not sure what Ofsted would say?
Thanks for any advice.

[Alibali]

I'd personally stop doing tea for him and wait till he was gone for your own tea. He's big enough to wait till his parents get home for tea, give him some toast or something after school.

[nannymcflea]

I agree, I'd say I'm sorry but his behaviour is causing issues with other children so he will be getting a snack after school and you will be letting his parents feed him tea. At 8 he knows how to behave but is choosing not too so he is old enough to be made aware of the consequences.

[mama2three]

i agree with nanny and if the parents really want you to feed him they are likely to read him the riot act! Maybe say if behaviour has not improved by whenever you will need to stop doing his tea.

[Trouble]

great advice ladies

good luck:thumbsup:

[sarah707]

The behaviour of over 8s must not be allowed to impact on the little ones - it says that in both the Eyfs and the Childcare register.

Therefore you are fine as far as Ofsted are concerned to manage this in the best way you can.

If that means not giving the child food then so be it.

The only thing I would say is that it is not considered good practice to withhold puddings...

Experts say that it gives children an unhealthy attitude towards eating.

instead of them enjoying their food they become anxious and view pudding as a 'treat' rather than part of the meal.

By withholding we are giving the message that it is special... which may apparently lead to over eating sweet 'treats' in later life.

Hth :D

[Lady Haha]

I'm glad this came up as I am just about to put Plan B into action!!

Plan A was giving really small portions to fussy eaters and they had to eat it all or no pud (oops, sorry Sarah!), but I just started feeling really mean about that and slowly started giving in bit by bit until I was back at square one which is a half eaten dinner (if that), but loads of room for pud!

Plan B!!! Have already spoken to the mum of one of my fussy eaters and she is happy with my plan. I am now going to scrap all the hassle I go through planning weekly menus that ALL the kids will like (mainly chicken dippers or fish fingers etc!) and from now on, we are all having healthy meals every day whether they like it or not! The puds are now a piece of fruit or yog, so gone are the cakes and sweet stuff I was getting. That way, even if they don't eat the meal cos they don't like it, at least the pud is healthy! The mum I spoke to earlier was fine about it and said her daughter could eat at home if she really didn't like what we were having here, no problems.

But I think I will take on board the toast idea! Any one can choose to have toast instead of the meal if they wish and eat a meal at home. All my mindees are school age and can manage to wait til then.

Do you think the other parents would be fine about that? Meals are included in my fees, so they don't get any money back if their kids doesn't have a meal!

[mushpea]

I used to have a child that wouldnt eat here but would raid the cupboards and eat rubbish when he was back home, after speaking several times to the parents about his not eating and not getting anywhere I told the parents that if he hadnt started eating his meals here by the end of the week then I would stop doing them, they then realised finaly that he wasnt eating here because he new when he got home he could eat c**p so they stopped letting him have food when he got home. he then started eating dinner again.
I now have the same probelm with another child, she has sibblings here so a bit different but i will probably leave her sitting at the table till she has eaten her dinner or till parent arrives so they can see she isnt eating and will give her time to eat
as for your chap I would expalin the situation to the parent and say you wont be providing meals here for him anymore.

[Roseolivia]

The behaviour of over 8s must not be allowed to impact on the little ones - it says that in both the Eyfs and the Childcare register.

Therefore you are fine as far as Ofsted are concerned to manage this in the best way you can.

If that means not giving the child food then so be it.

The only thing I would say is that it is not considered good practice to withhold puddings...

Experts say that it gives children an unhealthy attitude towards eating.

instead of them enjoying their food they become anxious and view pudding as a 'treat' rather than part of the meal.

By withholding we are giving the message that it is special... which may apparently lead to over eating sweet 'treats' in later life.

Hth :D

This is what i was worried about. When we eat things he doesn't like he gets sandwiches etc which is what his mum said to do but it's just the last week or two that he's refusing veg. I've tried giving fruit or yoghurt instead of things like ice-cream or angel deligh but he's not bothered and says he'll get it at home.:angry: Mum said he's like this at home now and will go all day without food if he's not given what he wants. I don't mind giving sandwiches, spaghetti etc instead, it's when he starts being silly at the table that annoys me the most as it's making Rose start to be silly at the dinner table. She's starting to say things like yak and poo at the food and mess around, that's why i've said he can have tea on his own.

[nokidshere]

I have always cooked meals on the basis that everyone has the same healthy meal and if they don't eat it then they go home hungry. I always make sure that the parent knows I will not provide alternative food when we do the contract.

I do not ask the children what they want or like. I cook, they eat - thats it.

I encourage them to try things even if they say they don't like it. The majority of the time they end up eating it, but I don't force the issue if they don't.

Pudding is always fruit, yoghurt or ice lolly.

As it happens, I have 12 children (plus my two) on my books at the moment and only one of them is fussy - and thats my own 11 year old :blush:

[Sarah Louise]

Surely it's not healthy though for a child to learn that it's ok to refuse their food then fill up on sweet things like yogurts. They're not treats but if they're hungry enough to want pudding then surely they should eat some of their meal.

[The Juggler]

Surely it's not healthy though for a child to learn that it's ok to refuse their food then fill up on sweet things like yogurts. They're not treats but if they're hungry enough to want pudding then surely they should eat some of their meal.

I don't use puddings to persuade them to finish their tea i.e. one more mouthful and you can have chocolate/ice-cream. I can see that is bad. I just say eat as much as you want until you are full.

If they are too full for veggies and most of their meal, they are too full for pudding!

Surely, if you encourage them only to eat until they have had enough that can only encourage good habits and for them to know which is the more important food?

[Lady Haha]

Surely it's not healthy though for a child to learn that it's ok to refuse their food then fill up on sweet things like yogurts. They're not treats but if they're hungry enough to want pudding then surely they should eat some of their meal.

Yes, in theory, they should eat their meal...but I wouldn't force a child to eat something they really really didnt like. I still have nightmares about the liver I was forced to eat as a child!!! But at least a yogurt or piece of fresh fruit is healthy food, even if it is sweet! I wouldn't let them 'fill up' on it though, they still get just the one yog or piece of fruit!

[Tatjana]

I cook the same meal for everyone and encourage them to eat it, if they don't there is no afters, which 95% of the time is fruit or yoghurt.

It really saddens me that one mindee who starts at lunchtime often turns up with a chocolate or lolly...what are the parents thinking????! They asked me to proved lunch and then do that :rolleyes: :eek:

xx

[Sarah Louise]

I would never force a child to finish their meal or else they don't get pudding. If they've tried it and don't like it or eaten and they're full then thats fine but a fussy eater whose not eating any food you prepare but then still wants pudding is different. I don't think i'd allow them to havethe pudding/yogurt and I'd make that clear to the parents that I don't expect them to like everything but they should at least have a go at eating.

[Playmate]

I must admit I only feed one of mine in the evening and thats because he stays till 6.30 and he's only 4, however I must be really mean because we don't have pudding on a regular basis. My Kids know they can snack on fruit and yogart later but its never served as part of the meal. It does solve the problem, because if they do not eat their dinner threre is anything else! I feel so mean now, but I was bought up that puddings were a treat at weekends and that is how I have bought mine up.

[newandlearning]

I cook the same meal for everyone and everyone gets a dessert which tends to be yoghurt, fruit or sometimes cake... I used to have real issues with my own child where I'd feed him a cooked meal - he wouldn't eat it - then I'd give him toast (with a view to him not waking up hungry).. this went on for ages and got worse...

Finally one day I stopped.. now he eats nearly all his meals .. we have really small snacks so everyone is hungry by dinner time and if he doesn't like it then he gets his yoghurt and nought else.

xx hope that helps.xx

[Chatterbox Childcare]

My children have fruit and yoghurt during the day so for evening meal they have puddings, jelly & ice cream, strawberries, Jam roly poly, rice pudding etc.. but they all know that if they have to finish their plate or the pudding doesn't come out and then the parent arrives. I am not refusing pudding, just saying that dinner needs to be eaten first.

[mushpea]

My children have fruit and yoghurt during the day so for evening meal they have puddings, jelly & ice cream, strawberries, Jam roly poly, rice pudding etc.. but they all know that if they have to finish their plate or the pudding doesn't come out and then the parent arrives. I am not refusing pudding, just saying that dinner needs to be eaten first.

I am the same, had 7children for tea last night, only one didnt eat anything from her plate, she'd had the same meal before and ate it so i know she liked it, she had the hump when the others had their icecream but couldnt have that hungry as she still refused to eat her meal.
If i gave 1 child dessert when they hadnt eaten their meal they would all stop eating their meals then i would be throwing lots of food away. I dont refuse desserts but they know they have to eat somthing first. what does anoy me is when they dont eat anything then go home and to chocolate cake which i know for a fact one child does as he happily tells me!

[The Juggler]

I am the same, had 7children for tea last night, only one didnt eat anything from her plate, she'd had the same meal before and ate it so i know she liked it, she had the hump when the others had their icecream but couldnt have that hungry as she still refused to eat her meal.
If i gave 1 child dessert when they hadnt eaten their meal they would all stop eating their meals then i would be throwing lots of food away. I dont refuse desserts but they know they have to eat somthing first. what does anoy me is when they dont eat anything then go home and to chocolate cake which i know for a fact one child does as he happily tells me!

:angry: :angry: :angry: I know or when you tell a parent child didn't eat dinner today (which you know they've eaten before) and I say they might be hungry later and they say Oh, I'll have to make you a sandwich..... or they get leftover treats out of their lunchbox and eat them in front of me! We try our best to encourage healthy eating but....