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saintsue
11-01-2010, 10:25 AM
MORNING EVERYONE

I have a new baby stated last week 3 days 8-6 she is 5 months old and she crys all the time unless you pick her up, as soon as i pick her up she stops, but i cant pick her up all day i have 3 other children to look after
last friday after holding her most of the day my back was killing me. do you think i should start today by letting her cry, even if i sit with her on my knee she crys she want me to stand up with her all the time

WHAT WOULD YOU ALL DO
LUV SUE XXXXX

sue m
11-01-2010, 10:27 AM
Oh that's grim, I would let her cry for a while, hopefully she will realise that she doesn't get picked up and carried about all day, it will take time but it should work. :thumbsup:

madredann
11-01-2010, 10:31 AM
In my opinion Sometimes you just have to hold them. She is not used to you or her surroundings or anybody else in your setting. Yes it is difficult but she has to feel safe and secure before she will be happy to explore and be distracted by other things e.g toys. You could sit with her and play/ use a sling to carry her. She might just need to see you or that might be the next step. I had the same with one of the little girls I look after but it does get better- of course sometimes you have to put her down but stay where she can see you she will have to cry at times, but I think if you give her lots of security it will pass quicker.

jo f
11-01-2010, 10:39 AM
buy some ear plugs! Oh poor u. That little lamb has has her world turned upside down, but u can't pick her up all the time as you say. I would let her cry for a while atleast, I personally wouldn't try the sling but it will let u get stuff done i suppose.
Sending u a big hug and hoping it will get easier soon x

Gizmo
11-01-2010, 10:40 AM
I look after a lo who is almost a year and I have had him from 7mths he is a lovely kid, but since coming back from Xmas hols is very clingy if I leave the room he starts screaming, when I said to mum she told me that her hubbys family were staying with them over the holidays and granny who doesnt see the lo often kept picking him up and carrying him everywhere, now they have gone home and lo is still expecting it :panic:

angiemog
11-01-2010, 10:44 AM
I'm having the same problem at the moment my mindee is 11 months. She cries constantly even between mouthfulls of food as she is in the high chair and not being held. I started having her in November for 1 day a week. It has just increased to 2 days. I too have 3 other little ones. I have a rising 5 and the other 3 are 18 months and under. I'm in the process of coming up with ways to make things work. I put her nap for a nap, during this time I do a craft with the other 2. When she wakes up we do singing time as I can have her on my lap and she is fine. I have now put her in the baby walker and just left her to cry. We are all in the same room and she is surrounded by toys. Later we will read some books together. She sits up but isn't crawling yetHave you got a bumbo? Or somewhere where she can be left but will be safe? This lo will cry in the car seat and buggy. You have to see what works with your situation. If she's ok in buggy then go out for walks. Good Luck. As people have said it does get better. (I am hoping anyway)

Chatterbox Childcare
11-01-2010, 10:45 AM
You need to talk to the parents and come up with a new plan which you can both work too. I am assuming that the parents pick mindee up most of the time and the habit needs to be broken before mindee is 8 months or your live will be HELL.

I let mine cry for a while, obviously not to the stage that they are distressed, let them be in the same room as you so they can see you. I find that they stop after a few days but with it not being a complete 5 days with you may take a few weeks to stop.

Good luck

saintsue
11-01-2010, 10:47 AM
sHE IS USE TO ME AND MY HOUSE, THE FAMILY ARE FRIENDS
i dont think i will use a sling cos then she will get use to me picking her up all the time, think i will just try leaving her to cry and few mins at a time them pick her up and she might just get use to it then
Do you think thats ok

THANKS FOR ALL YOU REPLYS
LUV SUE XXXX

sue m
11-01-2010, 10:56 AM
I agree with Debbie. I've looked after children for nearly 40 years and you can't just walk about with them all the time, you have to put them down and let them get used to it - bit by bit. xx

madredann
11-01-2010, 11:17 AM
Are you shouting at me? You didnt say in your post that she new you well. Sorry

sue m
11-01-2010, 11:23 AM
I'm sure saintsue isn't shouting at you love, looks like she left her caps on and then realised. I do it all the time! :D

saintsue
11-01-2010, 12:40 PM
no no madredann i am not shouting at you, i should of said i know the family, i had there other daughter before she started school
mum is really good she said she will go along with whatever i want to do, she is asleep at mo

Thanks for all the advice
luv sue xxxx

madredann
11-01-2010, 01:05 PM
Sometimes it is the threat of the other children that makes little ones so upset. When babies see you as their main carer they sometimes get possessive. Does the baby have young brothers/sisters to share mummy with at home? Is she crawling sometimes when they get to that stage they become more focused on what they can do and not on what else is happening? Thank you for not shouting at me lol

Zoomie
11-01-2010, 02:01 PM
I had a mindee for a few weeks last year who cried all the time he was with me. When I met family they told me he was carried around all the time, and although I didn't like this, I thought it wouldn't be the end of the world if I carried him around for bit in the beginning.

However, because I wasn't 'mum' who carried him around all the time, the fact that I carried him around constantly just wasn't enough. I was just the wrong person. Contact was also for just 1 afternoon a week, so hardly time to have any 'impact'.

To be frank I was glad when mum agreed that he wasn't ready to leave her yet:rolleyes: , and will think really hard if a similar arrangment presented itself in the future..

Trouble
11-01-2010, 02:05 PM
big hugs xxxxx

Blaze
11-01-2010, 02:37 PM
At such a young age & as LO's only just started with you I would invest in a sling (I recommend the hugabub:thumbsup: )...You can then wean her off this - but also meet her emotional needs now & whilst doing so....the sling will also save your back & allow you to care for the other mindees, as well as save your sanity!!!!:thumbsup:

madredann
11-01-2010, 02:43 PM
I also agree with Zoomie if it doesnt settle down you have to consider if all childrens needs are been met. I, also like zoomie would think again before having a really young baby if caring for other children. I think ideally a childminder without any young children is perhaps better in these situations....some would disagree though

Pipsqueak
11-01-2010, 02:44 PM
I think a bit of balance - controlled crying techniques and the like. Obviously once babies needs are met (food, drink, nappy, had play and cuddles, sleep etc) and the rest of it she needs to learn to settle herself - IMO.
A sling is great and it frees up your hands, gives baby lots of contact etc but it isn't a permanant solution.

I would discuss with parents, see whats happening at home and how parents do things - perhaps she is used to being held all the time at home and its causing you problems and see if, between you you can start resolving the issue.

Unless you have no other children then its not a practical solution for you to be snuggling baby all the time.

Pipsqueak
11-01-2010, 02:46 PM
I also agree with Zoomie if it doesnt settle down you have to consider if all childrens needs are been met. I, also like zoomie would think again before having a really young baby if caring for other children. I think ideally a childminder without any young children is perhaps better in these situations....some would disagree though

Yep totally disagree with you Madredann - sorry!:) Parental and minding experience tells me that a young baby along with other young children in the home is perfectly workable.:)

madredann
11-01-2010, 04:03 PM
But not if it isnt working all children are different and have different needs.