View Full Version : Giving notice to friends child??

11-01-2010, 09:19 AM
I really don't know what to do. :panic: I've been minding my friends little one since October for 2 days a week but she hasn't settled, cries all the time, screams at toddler groups or if anyone goes near her, doesn't like to play with anything but books.

I am trying to work through these issues but the parents of my full-time mindee are aware of the problems and say their child is very unsettled when she gets home on the days that I have my friends little one. I really can't afford to lose my full timer but am placed in a very awkward situation. I would never recommend minding for friends but they asked me before I was even registered and I said yes in case nothing else came along. The thing that makes it even more difficult is that she's my God Daughter.

This situation is getting me down and I really dread Mondays and Tuesdays.

Any advise gratefully received!

11-01-2010, 09:27 AM
big hug to you!

i know what it is like to dread a child coming.

have you told the parents, your friends, that she hasn't settled? i looked after a child who didn't settle with me, but was fine with another minder, and likewise a friends mindee didn't settle with her, but settled with another. sometimes, i think they associate the first minder with being away from mummy (and get into the routine of not settling) and the second minder doesn't have that association, as actually, they are already used to being away from mum! does that make sense ... its something to say to the parents anyway !!

one way to say it, is that as she is your god daughter, you want her to associate you with fun and happy things, and at the moment she doesn't, so for her benefit, you think it would be best if she used another minder for those days, and maybe you could see her for the odd afternoon ( maybe with the parents? )


11-01-2010, 06:43 PM
how old is she? i have 1, 1 day a wk and he crys on and off in morn when im at toddlers but loves being in my home id stop going but others love it. does she settle any time during the 2 days? i no its hard as its your god child but if others are complaining it makes it worse for you.whats she like at home?or out with mum.good luck im sure she will be understanding.

11-01-2010, 09:13 PM
Thanks Loocyloo :thumbsup:

She's 15 months old sandy64. She does settle when it's all quiet but doesn't enjoy being around other children. She has a very quiet home life and spends 3 days a week at home with dad who is very shy and spent the first 6 months since mum went back to work just staying in or going for walks. Basically she hasn't mixed and isn't used to hustle & bustle and is also an only child. I've been working with them and have suggested that they do more activities/groups with her and they have taken my advise on this which is great.

I absolutely hate giving up on things and am going to continue to try and make it work but I will need to observe her closely and really encourage her to try other activities out of her comfort zone. If things really don't improve after a couple of months I'll have to think very seriously about giving notice.:(

11-01-2010, 09:34 PM
I know how u feel I have been thru this with my friends son, he didnt settle he came 2 mornings a week. I didnt give notice as such we just came 2 a mutual agreement.

He was fine at toddler groups an when out an about but didnt like bein enclosed at home now hes at nursery an hes fine.

11-01-2010, 11:16 PM
Both the little ones that I have took many months to settle at toddler groups but for my own sanity I continued to go as I was finding it so hard being at home with them for nine hours a day. I was so glad that I persisted as now they are very comfortable going to the stay and play at the children's centre and I have made friends and contacts there. I have now started a childminding group to support others who are having difficulties or need advice and colleagues, and it is great. You never know what is round the corner, keep going out and this little girl will get used to socialising eventually, especially if her parents are supportive and take her also. I do find that the little ones are a bit more unsettled on a monday though, when I havent had them since wednesday, so the fact that you only have her two days a week could be a factor. Also the emotional ties because you are her godmother affect the way you view the situation.... if it was an unconnected mindee you may be able to be more objective!!! Have lots of cuddles and try to be very organised (hard I know!!!) so you can just sit and be with them!!)

Good luck!

Jenni x