View Full Version : Soooo annoyed - why dont I listen to good advice??

09-03-2008, 10:54 AM
Im really REALLY annoyed!

Im really struggling financially at the moment, so when my friend asked me to have her two boys for the next couple of weeks while she does some work on her hous, I was really pleased. The boys are good kids, and easy to look after. She asked me to email her my fees and we would go from there.

At Christmas I put my fees up to £3.90 from £3.75, but I know she doesnt work so thought I would be nice and charge the £3.75. I also do 20% family discount which is a pretty decent discount, imo.

Anyway - had an email from her this morning saying "well, its more than I was expecting, but I suppose if thats what you're charging I'll have to pay it".

I feel like emailing back and saying dont bother. Ive already given her a discount and feel really angry that she has made me feel bad about this. Do you think Im being oversensitive?


09-03-2008, 11:03 AM
I don't think you are being oversensitive.

I would explain to you friend that this is your business and you have given her a discount and that you can't do anything more. If she wants to look elsewhere she can but she would probably be charged more and her children wouldn't know the carer.

I think she's got a cheek to be like that with you and would be very annoyed too if it were me.

09-03-2008, 11:07 AM
I have to agree with Lorri

If she doesn't want to pay the fees then she should look elsewhere.....what more does she want :rolleyes: She is being given the reduced rate plus she has been given a discount......sounds like she expected you to do it for peanuts!

I do think that you need to be tough from the start otherwise you really could have problems down the line!

09-03-2008, 11:22 AM
Have to agree with both comments. It is not your fault that she was expecting to pay less, she should have done her homework on local childcare fees or come straight outright and asked you the charges before she approached you definitely. She has made you feel awkward when there was no need. As the other girls say it is your business and your living and a lot of childminders would not agree to just a two week placing so you really are doing her a favour even if she doesn't think so! Hope it all goes well. ;)

09-03-2008, 12:09 PM
I would be feeling as you do too, but she can't know you've applied a discount unless you tell her. Email back with the full details of the cost. Instead of just giving the cost at £3.75 x number of hours, you need to list it something like this, so she can see the discount you've already given and this is as low as it will get.

Child 1 (youngest child)
£3.90 x number of hours
less 0.15p discount x number of hours
= Total due for Child 1 £

Child 2 (oldest child)
£3.90 x number of hours
less 0.15p discount x number of hours
less sibling discount
= Total due for Child 2 £

Child 1 + Child 2 = £total due

Also you could tell her you're not charging a registration fee like some childminders do to enrole a child on your ad-hoc/occasional bookings system.(that would be me, lol, - £20 for the first year to cover the admin & one settling in session, renewably annually at a cheaper rate)

Has she checked if she qualifies for childcare element of tax credits? I had thought it was only for regular care, but had someone book their children in for just one day and they got help, apparently.

09-03-2008, 12:18 PM
i dont think you are hun

its your business and got to earn way one or another.

you have given her a discount what moe does she want?
explain to her that you have given a discount already.

can she not claim it on family tax credits?

09-03-2008, 12:31 PM
Friends and childminding dont tend to mix well........

in all honesty, I would look at this as an early warning and wouldnt look after the children, it will only get worse and to save your friendship I would recommend that you tell her you cant do it - depends how much you value the friendship, if it goes pear shaped then it might get a bit ugly :(


09-03-2008, 12:34 PM
I think Susi has a good point here... think of all the set-up costs which you will have to pay out just to put them on your books... then you are also giving a discount... and there's the food that 2 boys will eat!

I would say she's got a bargain tbh... but it's how you put it to a friend, I suppose, isn't it...?

Who said 'friends' and 'bargepoles' in the same sentence...? :D

09-03-2008, 01:19 PM
I agree with everyone. Don't feel bad about it, if she doesn't want to pay it that is her problem!

09-03-2008, 02:55 PM
i think that if shes not happy about the money now then she may well cause you some problems later on , i have a parent shes not a freind but she moaned about the money 6 months ago and shes still doing it now . :angry:

sometimes you have to listen to the warning signs , i know it can be hard when its a mate or when you need the money , but just rember its not your fault its hers you have right be annoyed i would be . hope you come to the right choice in the end x

09-03-2008, 03:00 PM
You just can't help some people

I would let her know how you've worked out your prices as Susi says your friend doesn't know you have given her a discount but I don't think I'd want to work with her after this
Maybe she thought you'd do it for nothing

Stick out for some real work

Miffy xx

09-03-2008, 05:33 PM
ive told my friends that im not looking after their kids (as a childminder) i still dont mind keeping an eye on them the odd couple of hours etc but i just dont want the stress. if that makes sence!?

but to the point of your post! you need to look after your business, yourself and family........

Heaven Scent
09-03-2008, 06:08 PM
I agree with everyone else been there got the t-shirt there was a theread on this very subject last week with loads of other advice.

Celine:angry: :angry:

09-03-2008, 07:19 PM
Tell her you are not a charity!:angry: If she cannot afford childcare then she will have to do the work on her house around them. But it is not your problem. Then dont discuss it any more. Sorry if i sound hard but this type of thing really makes me mad.:angry:

09-03-2008, 09:31 PM
Hi guys,

Fisrstly - on the original email I sent her I totally broke it down how it would work pricewise per child, including the two discounts. Thats why I was so annoyed that she got huffy!!!

Usually I wouldnt work for friends but as its only for two weeks...!! And I DO need the money, but not the stress!!!

Anyway, I gave her the numbers of a couple of other minders but she says she wants to go with me so....:littleangel: What can I say. I'll grin and bear it and remeber for next time!!! :D :thumbsup:


09-03-2008, 09:38 PM
No wonder you're fed up if she knew all along about the discount

Maybe she did think you would do it for nothing as it's only for a short time

Grin and bear it - it will be over soon

Miffy xx

09-03-2008, 09:43 PM
Funny thing is, when Ive looked after her kids before (as a one off when her usual minder is ill) I always say "oh, dont worry its free to you" and she pushes money on me!!

I dunno. Looking forward to this month being over, tbh!!


09-03-2008, 09:46 PM
Seems with this one you just can't win

Good luck anyway

We're always here when you want a moan

Miffy xx

09-03-2008, 10:07 PM
I've minded for friends in the past and I have never had a problem, I know you can

I also have never offered a discount to them

So your friend should be grateful for what you are doing for her

Good luck if you have them

Carol xx

09-03-2008, 10:50 PM
If she has a minder already she must know the going rates, and why isnt her minder having them?

10-03-2008, 08:50 AM
Her usual minder charges £3.50 an hour. Shes off work atm cos shes just been diagnosed w/ breast cancer. :(