Have you ever had to teach your mindees what to do at your house?

[terrydoo73]

I feel I am going to have to - why - to stop the behaviour they have at present. Not because they are bad but really it is to stop them lying about on the couch, mucking about with little brother, pulling them onto the floor, laughing and screaming at the top of their voices, running up and down the hall after one another etc. Today has been the worst - maybe it is just with being away for 2 weeks but they have not physically touched a toy in my place. I am wondering if I should make up a book with pictures showing them how to - play with my toys, enjoy themselves by making up stories, explore how things stick together. Am I mad?

When I mention things like this to mum she just laughs and I think she really does not care - it has not just happened since January but has been going on for months now. I believe she thinks I stick on the tv and let them be couch potatoes. Is the opinion of a childminder that bad do you think in parents eyes? I suppose I should be asking myself what I want out of childminding for myself - I want them to engage with me in play, in enjoying their time with me, being stimulated and really looking forward to coming to my house.

Don't get me wrong it is just these eldest 2 - their cousins twin boys are fine when they come to me, getting down and enjoying exploring all the toys, examining how each thing works, taking it apart and pulling toys around the room!

Are any of the rest of you experiencing this? What have you done about it?

[Trouble]

We have rules and boundries and they have to abide by them or there gone:thumbsup:

like taking muddy shoes off whilest sat on my sofa:angry: :angry: whats wrong with sitting on the floor:angry: parents dont care though just walk through the house:angry: :panic:

[nannymcflea]

Get them to help with the house rules, if they are old enough.

Start a collection of boxes so they can junk model and build without actually having to play with "toys". I guess it will be trial and error to find out what they like.

[terrydoo73]

Never had to do house rules before. How do you devise them, what are they and how are they displayed/demonstrated to your mindees? Perhaps this might be a way - pictures of a child sleeping and the words BE QUIET beside it?? They are only aged 2 1/2 and 4. To every negative I would need to add a positive so I guess I could put up a picture of a child playing with a toy and say something like NOW WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO PLAY TOO??

[Daisy1956]

I would ask them to help you make some rules, BCMA have a list i think for a stating point,then with the help of the children adapt it to your own circumstances. Hope this helps.:)

[Mouse]

I have a 2.5yr old new starter & she doesn't play with anything.

She spends the whole day racing round & getting stuff out, but doesn't actually pplay with any of it.

She likes me to read stories to her & she likes colouring & painting, so we've been spending a lot of time doing that.

Virtually all the children I have minded have started with me as babies, so grow up knowing our rules & routines etc. I think having an older child start has been a bit of a shock to me as I'm used to the children behaving in a certain way while they're here & obviously she doesn't. Eg. children don't climb on the furniture here, don't go upstairs, don't go in the kitchen without me etc. I never have to tell them as they grow up knowing it. This new mindee doesn't though & I feel I'm forever telling her to stop doing things :(
It's been a bit of a learning curve for me!

[jaja]

i have a little one that is basically allowed to do as it pleases at home, eat wahtever and dicate to mum and hit her, well i have rules and she hates me apparently (she told mum!) well, she NOW says please and thankyou and flushes the loo, and doesnt leave the toys all over, doesnt throw them at others or the animals, doesnt hit my dd or ds, doesnt hit me, doesnt shout at me and my family, doesnt say i want and i will have, however she still does ----flouncing when spoken to, rolls the eyes, refuses to walk to school yet knows the routine, flips at mum when mum here ut fine whenever mum isnt here, etc etc etc etc

I have house rules which the children do when they first come and are reminded, i have the "i will phone your parent and talk to them" which seems to work at the moment and i have carried this on, i have the "you will sit with me until you have calmed down and said sorry and know why you have to say sorry(age appriate)

You need to make things clear when they first start and mainly stick to everything you want to see and everything you dont want to see....

good luck....

oh and point out to mum that in your behaviour policy it should state that behaviour which isnt acceptable will end in immediate termination. (i got a parent with this, she told her son to do what he wants while here but behave at home!!! well after a word about the behaviour policy i got a wonderfully well behaved boy......

sending hugs and hope this helps xxxxxxxx

[miffy]

There is a nice house rules poster here

http://www.freechildmindingresources.com/

Might not be exactly what you're wanting but will give you some ideas

Miffy xx

[TheBTeam]

Yes every child i have looked after, for things like dont run in the house, dont climb on the sofas, dont jump or bounce on the sofas, dont walk around with food, dont go through the house with shoes on, dont wear a hood indoors, dont blaspheme, dont pick up the little ones, dont wrestle, dont touch and turn on the tv!

All said repeatedly in a calm manner and a positive, non negative, child friendly way, of course:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

[Cazz]

There is a nice house rules poster here

http://www.freechildmindingresources.com/

Might not be exactly what you're wanting but will give you some ideas

Miffy xx

I've printed this one and will be laminating it and putting it up this weekend. I'm hoping the parents will take note of the no outdoor shoes - even though they're the ones that have little ones crawling around the floors :rolleyes:

[Tatjana]

Oh yes, i'm always saying "no running, no turning on or smashing the tv :angry: no jumping on the sofa, no standing on the sofa, no walking about with food/drinks, no standing or stamping on toys". I really do wonder what it is like at their homes.

My mindees don't know how to play on their own, they follow my boys around like shadows, join in with their games, but when they are at school I have to play with them as they simply don't know what to do. Obviously i am happy to play with them and know it's part of my role, but I can't help feeling it's sad when a child doesn't know how to play.

xx

[little chickee]

I've printed this one and will be laminating it and putting it up this weekend. I'm hoping the parents will take note of the no outdoor shoes - even though they're the ones that have little ones crawling around the floors :rolleyes:

Just TELL them to please take off their shoes and stand and wait for them to do it!! thats what i do!

[Desi-101]

I bet they don't do it at home, they get a telling off!!! you have to set house rules, I been there and worry they won't like me but its not the case its setting ground rules! they are testing you as all kids do.

My mindee started standing on my new sofa and throwing cushions on the ground and dive bombing off the sofa so I stopped her shes 6, and I asked her if she does it at home, she said yes mums sofa is old and lets me... I stopped her anyway and later asked mum in front of her at collection time and her mum was horrified she had done it!!! her mum told her off. She hasn't done it again, bless her :)

[Merry-Minder]

I expect my minded children to act the same in my house as my own two boys. The rules might be different in their own house - but this is the way we operate in mine - if I dont want my own children getting muddy footprints through my house why would I want someboby elses?!?!?!?!
These rules are made clear right from day one regardless of their age (within reason)

xxx

[terrydoo73]

Thanks for all your replies. Both these particular children have been with me since both 9 months old - so the eldest is going on for 3 years with me. Seems to be since the summer that she just comes in and messes about even though at nursery in mornings and knows what should be doing but seems to be a difference in my home. I wonder is it something I am not doing with them?

As far as doing the same as at home - well at home they basically get up and put the tv on from early morning to bedtime and then they wander about so I bet they think they should do the same here. The youngest in particular has come in every day this week and repeatedly says "turn the tv on". I have tried to say "no tv in my house only at yours" but it doesn't seem to work.

I am at my wits end with these 2 and really frustrated as mum either takes me up wrong in my objective notes to her through their daily records or she doesn't seem to care - just so long as she gets to work every day and someone is looking after the children including collecting from nursery etc.

A lot of childminders local to me have said to me just ignore these 2 and focus on the other 2 and they will soon get the message but it doesn't work - the little girl I have has spent the last 2 days on my sofa doing absolutely nothing. When her little brother goes to her she starts messing about wriggling, jumping off the sofa etc. Yesterday she got a sleeping bag and went and lay down in the hall promptly falling asleep. Hubby didn't like it as he was scared she would smother in the bag so got her up. I know she is waking in the middle of the night so not getting adequate sleep but surely that is something mum needs to address not me?

I honestly think and don't get me wrong I am not complaining - they have spent the Christmas holidays just doing their own thing, turning tv on sitting in front of it for hours on end and when they have got new toys played for short periods with them and then come back to me and realised it is the same old things here so why bother!

You can tell it is annoying me so much and it is burning me up inside!