PDA

View Full Version : 3 different carers a week



mrs.h
05-01-2010, 02:14 PM
hi,

my little one (10 months) has 3 different carers a week (nan, mum's friend and me), each for a whole day. the settling in period with him went very well, he settled down to sleep and was happy as anything. but today (mum started work yesterday) he has been very upset and it took him an hour to go off to sleep. i told mum that it is probably the new routine and that having 3 carers is not really the best solution for little people. even though every one tries to stick to his routine, something is always different.
mum is obviously not very happy now but i was just saying what i think. or am i wrong???

thank you,

mrs.h

jelly15
05-01-2010, 02:30 PM
I have a two year old mindee in similar circumstances, 2 days with me 2 days with 1 grandmother and 1 day with the other Grandmother. I know the family well and the grans spoil her terribly and she always gets her own way, but not with me. She demands every toy another child has and therefore I am constantly disapplining her. Haven't said anything to mum as the grans both want her to come to them full time and I would lose £60 a week.

madasahatter
05-01-2010, 02:30 PM
I personally would't have said anything just yet as mum might be feeling guilty enough about going to work as it is. Also today could be a one off, next time he is with you he may be ok....could he be starting with a cold, teething etc etc etc. Children do adapt to having a number of carers, in fact many of my mindees have been cared for by grandparents and me in addition to their parents, and often each with their own routines/rules/expectations.
10 months is a awkward time for babies and settling with new carers as it is smack bang in the age bracket where children first suffer properly from seperation anxiety, so bear with it. I would probably apologise to mum, saying maybe that you didn't mean to be insensitive.

mrs.h
05-01-2010, 02:41 PM
i have already apologised and feel really bad. mum has texted and phoned all day asking how he is and wanted to know why he isn't settling. will speak to her when she picks him up.

mrs.h

venus89
05-01-2010, 04:34 PM
I would have handled things differently - who's to say that's the reason why the LO is finding things hard today? They may have a cold coming,or a tummy ache, or be teething.... I have a LO that goes to preschool, two childminders, has mum and dad at the weekend and goes to mum's friends' one afternoon a week after preschool. Whatever I may think about this what I do is to try to keep him as settled as possible, accommodate his routines and needs into my own daily routine, and keep the pressure off mum.

At the end of the day, this probably isn't what Mum wants for her baby but hopefully with you working in partnershipwith her LO will settle soon enough and you'll all be happy - good luck talkingto Mum this afternoon x

mrs.h
05-01-2010, 04:44 PM
thank you.

i spoke to mum and she was worried that i would terminate the contract because of him being trouble. of course i won't. we all adore the little chap but i will not say to her everything is all right, he is so happy when he is obviously not. i think she should know that he had difficulty going off to sleep and we both have to think about what is best for him -> working in partnership with parents.

mrs.h

caz3007
05-01-2010, 04:45 PM
I have had several children in the past that have had multiple carers and they have settled in soon enough. I think they soon adapt to the different circumstances, but trying to be consistent is good, but really difficult.

Hope it all goes well

miffy
05-01-2010, 04:53 PM
thank you.

i spoke to mum and she was worried that i would terminate the contract because of him being trouble. of course i won't. we all adore the little chap but i will not say to her everything is all right, he is so happy when he is obviously not. i think she should know that he had difficulty going off to sleep and we both have to think about what is best for him -> working in partnership with parents.

mrs.h

It's good you've talked it through and got it sorted - mum's been able to tell you why she was worried too.

I think you were right to speak to her in the first place - if only so she can keep an eye on her lo in case he is sickening for something and so she knows he might be tired/fretful later as he didn't sleep well.

I do think it can be harder to settle a young baby when they only come one day a week - it takes longer for you to get to know them and vice versa but you will get there!

Miffy xx

Mrs.L.C
05-01-2010, 05:08 PM
I can see where you are coming from and im glad mum understood what you meant and all is ok.

I personaly think children should only have one childcare provider/key worker working along side their parents but this rarely happens (eg - if a child goes to a nursery, they will have many different carers looking after them throughout the day but children do settle)

Is there anyway you could meet with the other carers to try and get a similar routine going? If you can all work to the exact samne routine then that should help and im sure the baby will settle soon. like others have said its a difficult age as the child starts getting seperation anxiety so would probably take a while to settle even with you full time. Stick with it and do what you do best

angiemog
05-01-2010, 08:51 PM
I started having a little boy in August who was then 9 months, I had him 2 1/2 days nan another day and other nan the last day. It then became very apparant to mum who was keeping the routine. I do grandparents dont. Whatever happened at their houses affected his night time sleep. I now have him an extra day because of this. Obviously mum has to pay me more but she wants a happy and settled little boy. Mum will soon pick up on where the better care is coming from. x