My New Mindee

[Michelle M]

I have taken on my nephew who is almost 8 months, I am not close to him, anyway he started last week, mum dropped him off with one bottle, didn’t tell me when his next feed was due or anything. He is breast fed at home, but expects me to formula feed him whilst he is here. As you can imagine he cried almost the whole day bless him.

I tried to feed him lunch but it turns out after talking to mum that he isn’t weaned either, so I am starting from scratch, she says she jams the spoon in and has to force his mouth open!!

Today has been a nightmare day again, he screamed at toddler group which then started my daughter off who was 1 on Monday, he didn’t want his milk, so I went out and brought him an Avent bottle as the tall bottle mum left me with doesn’t fit in my steriliser very well, he seemed better on that bottle and I changed his milk too and mentioned to mum about it but I am using my daughters formula milk, which doesn’t seem fair when its £7.48 a box.

Then the 2 year old I mind, decided he wanted to throw the toys around the room, and just say hiya all afternoon.

On a Monday to Wed I have taken on a friends boys who was one 3 weeks ago and he just screams the place down every time I leave the room, I struggle to go to the loo, or even get out of the car to get the pushchair out of the boot. Generally how long does it take for a child to settle as I have never had this problem before as they were older children.

Am glad to have a sit down, I think I need a drink. Sorry to rant, I feel much better now to get that off my chest.

[avril]

What a day you've had, I think you definately deserve a drink hopefully tomorrow is better.

Surely your nephews Mum should have given you a daily routine, feeding information before leaving him.

Avril x:)

[Michelle M]

Yes you would think so wouldnt you, this is her third child, but to be honest, I really dont think there is a routine at home, it was worse last week when her ex partner followed her to my house, and she has put a harassment charge against him so the Police were here and then came back at 9pm to get a statement from me! Selfish that I am why couldnt she have sorted it all out at home instead of on my doorstep.

[avril]

OMG:eek:

Sounds like there's never a dull minute there, hopefully he settles in soon.

Avril x:)

[sarah707]

Sorry to hear about your day Michelle! :(

It can be really hard working with family and I know a lot of minders who won't do it... but what you must do is sit the mum down and ask her all the questions you would ask any new mum - and she has a duty to her son to give you the answers as fully as possible...

You need to know his routine, what he eats, when he sleeps, what her nappy routine is, where he sleeps, how much he usually drinks, whether he has a snuggly, what activities he likes, how he is when he wakes up, what she says to calm him, how he likes to be carried etc...

I know he's family but you should not be giving him a different milk in case of allergies - you might not be covered by your insurance if you are doing this. The same with food - it is recommended that parents start the weaning process and give the first of any new foods in case of a problem, so please put yourself first here, protect yourself and talk to mum before making a rod for your back.

As for the crying 3 year old... it passes with time! It's not going to help if you feel crap, so have a bath and a relax tonight and hopefully tomorrow will be brighter for you.

Sending hugs xx

[miffy]

Phew Michelle I feel tired just reading about your day

All your charges are quite small atm so no wonder you feel tired and it's hard work

Think you need to know a few more details about your nephew's routines - could you ask mum to leave you some of his formula milk so that you can make a bottle as and when he needs one?

Miffy xx

[Annie_T]

oh dear you got your work cut out hun

at 8months you thought he be weaned to be honest. and people tell you when bottle roughly due etc.

think 2 year ol needs more involvment insomething ..pass what tho lol sorry

sit down relax hun it wll all settle in time im sure - sooner than later i hope for u tho

[angeldelight]

Sorry you had a horrible day Michelle sounds a bit like the day that I had - hope today is better

Hope you have wrote down everything too about the ex partner turning up at your house?
Is he dangerous ? You also have to think of the safety of the other children

Good luck hope it all works out

Angel xx

[charleyfarley]

What an awful day you had

Hope today is much better for you

Carol xx

[LittleMissSparkles]

hope today is a better day for you honey xxx

[LeeAnn]

I really feel for you. Around 5 years ago I was a registered childminder (am re registering now as I gave up) and had a LO who sounds exactly like your nephew. Although he was on solid food he was only 6 months and not weaned from the breast. He only knew naps where he was fed to sleep and then lay on mum for the entire nap.Mum said that if he wont settle then I could put him in his car seat and swing it!!! This is what she did at home. Did I mention that he was a huge baby!!
I gave it 4 weeks and he didnt stop the crying and basically didnt settle, it wasnt fair to him , me or the other LO I minded for so I gave his mum 4 weeks notice, by the end of another 4 weeks he was still miserable and it was at this point that I gave up minding. I was mentally and physically exhausted. He literally screamed all day every day, in the car, in the pram while he was sitting on my knee. Nothing settled him at all.

sorry to be negative but I just wanted to let you know that you should keep an eye, I would give it the 4 weeks and if he isnt settled then I would ask his mum to find alternative care, not every LO is a perfect fit and you need to stay sane for yourself and your own family!!

x x x x

[deeb66]

Sorry...only just catching up with this one.

You really did have a difficult day didn't you!

I agree with the others ....you need to sit down with mum and get this all sorted.....just because she is family it doesn't mean that she can drop her off to you and expect you to deal with everything.

I wish you luck with this....let us know how you get on