goal posts being changed re pick up and drop offs

[newandlearning]

am feeling a bit fed up... for months the mum of my full-time mindee knew I would not be able to pick up the older sibling as from jan. this is because I need to pick up my own LO from a different school.. initially she said that she'd just take time off and come up to me each day after school and drop the sibling off..

I had also asked her if two mornings aweek (come Jan) she could drop off at our contracted drop off time which is 8.30 so I can get my child to school and my other one to pre-school.. she normally drops off at 9.05 after she has dropped off sibling... initially she said she'd be happy to drop off early for two days...

now this morning she is saying that she can't drop off for 8.30 (which is more of a not wanting to) and she can't pick up her LO from school and bring back to mine at 3pm...

I really can't think of any options.. I don't want to get a childminder to pick up my child so I can go pick up someone elses (as this would be a long term arrangement).. and if I trudle back here everymorning to do a late drop off then my other LO will always be late for preschool.

As I write this it seems to me that what is really happening here is that she just doesnt want her children coming to me anymore??

can anyone help advise me re how to make this work... I can't go pick up mindee as on one day I have another mindee arriving at 8.30 ... the mum was wanting to change the drop off to 9am but that doesn't work for me as I'm at school and then preschool till saying 9.20ish... I'm sorry for making this all sound confusing .. I'm feeling really low ..

any help would be great.. these mindees are my main income .. and can't pay my bills if this money isnt coming in.. I hate being in a limbo and business has been terribly slow around here recently...:(

[beccas]

do you drive and how long will it take to get from one school to the other..... you could ask the school to keep the child for 5 mins while you get from one school to the other and as for the morning i wouldnt rush back i would get back when i could and if the parent was sat waiting just explain that contract hours and times are there for a reason anf you have other children to take to school. hth

[Minstrel]

Can she meet you at the pre-school?

I think if she is contracted to start at 8.30am and she's not there then you are entitled to leave and she will simply have to catch you up.

[newandlearning]

hi.. I can't get to other school that quick its at least 20 mins away .. equally.. I asked her if she could meet me at the school and she just didn't seem to want to ..:)

[Gizmo]

Could she drop the lo at you later nearer 9.30 then you would be back from pre school
Our school has a waiting area for kids getting picked up by cms and after school club maybe you could look into this

[beccas]

if i was you i would ask her if she is happy for you to keep looking after her child or does she want a new cm and i would also ask why,,,,,

[solly]

This may not be of any help but do the schools come out at the same time or different times I have this on a wednesday where i pick up from 2 different schools and although they one comes out at 3 pm the other comes out at 3.15 but i have to walk, if i am a bit late the school just holds onto the child until i get there. Also couldnt the mum drop off her littleone to you at the preschool you are dropping your other LO off, i have also had to do this for a drop off time as you say you cant be in two places at once

Must of been writing as everyone else was sorry i was no help at all

[ChocolateChip]

It sounds as if you have given her all the options and she is not willing to work with you, therefore I don't really know what more you can do.
It may be worth having one more go at explaining to her where you have to be at certain times but if she is not going to work round this you may have to bite the bullet and tell her you can't continue the care.
Mornings- if she chooses to be later than your contracted times then that's her problem, she will have to catch up with you as you go about your routine, either at school or pre-school, don't go doubling back and making an extra journey for her sake, she will soon change her ways once she realises you can still charge her full pay.
Afternoons- if there isn't an arrangement you can come to with the older one's school then you will just have to confirm that you can't collect him, and if she wants him to come to you then she will have to arrange to get him to you or make alternative arrangements.

Sorry if that's not much help, and it may seem silly to lose a customer but if she is being awkward now you may be better off without her.

[carol cameron]

Sorry if it sounds harsh but it looks like mum isn't thinking that you have other children to consider and just wants what suits her best, Whilst that's fair enough you can only offer what suits you and she needs to make her decision based on what you can offer. Sometimes our parents fail to see that we have to think about other children and not just theirs, Good luck in sorting it out.

[terrydoo73]

Can't really offer any advice other than what has already been given - just want to send you hugs - hopefully you get this all sorted out.

I had a mum whose 2 kids came to me from they were 9 months old. The eldest went to part time playgroup last January 2 mornings a week - fine by me as it was only 10 mins drive away and I thought she would be going to the same one come September 5 mornings a week. At Easter mum told me she had got her into a place at a different playgroup - which is 20 mins drive away. The only reason she decided on this - being a teacher herself she wanted one with a Principal!!

I thought long and hard about the situation and I knew it would sound like I wasn't happy as she had chosen this school but long term I knew I didn't want to pander to her wishes - for me to deliver and collect this child every morning. I put my foot down and said I wouldn't do it as it would mean
a my other mindees wouldn't get their normal nap time and would end up sleeping in the car which I did not want
b I would have to take all my mindees with me into the playgroup each day which would cause awful stress (I have 3 others not walking) to me and them
c I would never get to Toddler groups as the timing clashes with the time I need to collect child from playgroup.

Mum was very put out - she initially got a neighbour to do the 2 runs but has reduced that down to delivering only with her mum collecting. Her mum has now got a job afternoons and I do not know if she is planning to work mornings too but I am sticking to my guns in the new year.

The communication between mindees mum and me has broken down further this past few weeks as I discovered child can now have extended playtime with an additional 3/4 hour 2 days a week meaning I could go to toddler group if any on these 2 days but found this out quite by accident from the childs granny!

I know her second child is due to go to nursery next year - his birthday is June and initially mum said to me he will be kept back a year I do not think she can do this legally. That means come September he will be at nursery from 8.45 to 11.15 and his sister at school until 2. I definately will be sticking to my guns of not collecting - I would be just a taxi service and could not take on any other mindees as quite a few mums would make a point of saying "do I collect other children" when I say yes they choose a different childminder.

I know I am being awkward but parents sometimes forget that life just doesn't revolve around their needs alone especially if they choose to work outside of the home. That might sound harsh but sometimes a reality check is what parents need!

[mama2three]

terry , she can hold her child back a year if it is nursery. they only legally need to attend once they turn 5.

newandlearning - is there an afterschool club at your own childs school where she could go for a while after school until you have done your other school run? i know this will be an expense but may financially be better than losing your mindees. hope you manage to sort it all out so youre both happy.

[youarewhatyoueat]

I really think you should put your own children first, tell her the times that suit you and leave it to her to decide.
You may find extra mindees from the school your own children go to.

[singingcactus]

I have just had to give notice today because of this same reason (only parent wasn't being a pain about it). My husbands shifts are changing in January to permanent days and my son goes to nursery 40 minutes walk away. This means if I drop a child at our local school then my boy will always miss out on registration and circle time at nursery because we will always be at least 30 minutes late. I feel that this period of nursery day is one of the most important for the kids for preparing them for school and so am not willing at all to take my boy to nursery late every day.
If possible then I would put my child's nursery first and try to replace the problem kids - I know that is easier said than done but if you don't you will end up resenting these other kids and then your job will stop being fun.