child hitting out

[terrydoo73]

I have a little mindee, one of a twin who is aged 19 months old. He hasn't started to talk yet but the tone of his voice clearly shows he is getting there. He has developed a habit now of slapping everything and everyone in sight when he doesn't get his own way and then starts to cry very loudly if you tell him off for doing this!

My policy has been to try and move everyone out of his way when this is happening so as not to distress the rest but I need a tactic to deal with him directly. I know it is clearly frustration that is building up inside him and he just cannot express himself in any other way.

What could I do?

[little chickee]

Instead of moving the other kids out of his way i would remove him from them - a classic time out. just pick him up firmly tell him no and pop him in the corner of the room for a minute giving him no attention.

he is quite young but with continuity he should get the message and the other kids can see that you are dealing with the inappropriate behaviour.

[Minstrel]

Instead of moving the other kids out of his way i would remove him from them - a classic time out. just pick him up firmly tell him no and pop him in the corner of the room for a minute giving him no attention.

he is quite young but with continuity he should get the message and the other kids can see that you are dealing with the inappropriate behaviour.

I agree- you may be unconciously giving him the message that when he slaps, people move out his way! so he'll keep on slapping to get toys etc all to himself.

[Pipsqueak]

Instead of moving the other kids out of his way i would remove him from them - a classic time out. just pick him up firmly tell him no and pop him in the corner of the room for a minute giving him no attention.

he is quite young but with continuity he should get the message and the other kids can see that you are dealing with the inappropriate behaviour.

agreed:thumbsup:

[Mollymop]

I agree with above. When he hits out explain that he shouldn't and sit him in timeout until he calms down. he will soon understand that he mustn't carry on hitting, even at his age x

[~Chelle~]

Instead of moving the other kids out of his way i would remove him from them - a classic time out. just pick him up firmly tell him no and pop him in the corner of the room for a minute giving him no attention.

he is quite young but with continuity he should get the message and the other kids can see that you are dealing with the inappropriate behaviour.

Totally agree :thumbsup:

[terrydoo73]

Thanks for your replies - sounds logical when you said this - how do you suggest I remove him and keep him in a time out area? He is so young and he just lies down kicking at all and sundry including me!

[westbrom44]

I would have a travel cot/playpen ready to put him in. He should soon get the message.

[terrydoo73]

OK so a travel cot it is then - would you have this up in the same room they are playing in? I have their 2 cots up in another room for them to sleep in but just wondered if it would be wise to pop this particular child in here for a day every time he hit out and would this stop him or just cause him distress? Problem is if I have the cot up in the room they are playing in everyone would try and get into it!

[AliceK]

Sorry put wrong msg here so have deleted it - sorry :blush:

[sarah707]

Some children go through this phase and it can be very upsetting, especially for other children.

If they are old / developmentally able to understand that what they are doing is wrong, they will benefit from consistent behaviour management strategies such as time out...

It must be consistent, so document what you are doing, share with parents and ask them how they will support it at home.

If they are younger you need to re-direct their play elsewhere, while minimising the damage to the other children.

A good way of spotting issues before they occur is through time sampling observations - basically shadow the child for a few sessions and see if the outbursts are linked to tiredness, hunger, a certain child etc...

When you reflect on your observations you might see links that you can avert next time by being proactive - bringing meal or sleep times forward, separating children for a while, having 2 of things that are popular etc.

Hth :D

[terrydoo73]

Thanks for your advice. I have observed both twins and have discovered that this behaviour has now started in the other twin. I caught them hitting and slapping each other without either relenting and no matter how much I tried to stop them or saying no to them they refused to stop.

I cannot say honestly that it is related to tiredness, hunger but more frustration - I think he is trying to communicate verbally and this is the only way he knows how.

When I asked mum about this behaviour she tells me she slaps him back!

The problem I am having is with my other mindees - their 2 cousins. They just keep repeating "O is hitting me".

Little O is not easily redirected to other activities - he has a short attention span with any toy at the best of times. I have been working with them over the past few weeks in restricting the toys they have - they used to have access to all my toys with the result that they pulled everything out. So now they are confined to one room with 2 boxes of toys in that room at a time. I wonder if this might be the problem - should I maybe be limiting the time or toys in that room and maybe give them freedom to move on? I was thinking if I kept them in the living room with the 2 boxes for say half an hour then allowing them into the hall where there is a tunnel for say 15 minutes and then coming back into the living room to another 2 boxes??

[sarah707]

That's a good idea... you definitely need to keep him busy by the sounds of it.

I'd just do as much as possible to find out what makes him tick... there will be something going on in his head to make this happen.

Maybe he needs to be outside - wrap him up and get him in the garden, let him be more active perhaps?

Otherwise have you tried a treasure basket? these can interest the liveliest children for lengths of time :D

[terrydoo73]

Thanks for the idea - I do have a treasure basket which is one of the boxes I have in rotation ie I bring out say a construction box with this box and the next time around bring out a music box with a block box etc!

My treasure basket contains a variety brushes mostly made out of wood so that they chew without destruction! There is also some different types of balls, some cloth made out of feathers and velvet, curry bowl made out of stainless steel to make plenty of noise, plastic bottles sealed with beads inside to rattle about - so it is basically what I would term a senses treasure basket!

I did take the 4 of my mindees out the other day for a long walk around my country lanes - about 1 mile in total and he was fair motoring, tripping and falling but getting up without too much fuss!! He just loved it being wrapped up in his overalls touching and feeling anything and everything! Pity we don't get too many dry days to enable us to get out more.