no idea what to do!!

[chewy sweets]

just had a home visit from a mum that wants me to look after her little boy 7 years old 4 evenings a week. The problem is when i opened the door i realised who she was. She is well known in my area for being abusive to her childre. Actually had some taken off her. She's told me her son has learning difficulties and his behaviour and language is terrible. Calling everyone C***TS! She wants to sign contracts on Sunday!!! I am not prepared to take this on! How do i get out of this!!! HELP!! I'm a newly registerd childminder and have never had to deal with this before. I know for a fact that if i take this child on it will put off parents and the parents that do use me will want to remove their children!!

HELP!!!:panic:

[amirose]

How awful! Do you you have children of you own? Could you go down the worried about being able to dedicate enough time attention with my own XYZ. Or say you don't feel your experienced enough?

I know where your coming from hun, nightmare when you want to say no but just don't know how!!!

[chewy sweets]

Yes i have a 18 month old.

[Tired]

Be careful what reason you give if you don't take him on. You must be inclusive and can't exclude someone just because they have learning difficulties, or because the mother uses bad language.

However, you do have to consider other children in your setting, including your own. If the boy is disruptive you do not have to keep him.

Why not do a trial 1 month contract? or sign a contract but emphasise the settling in period.

Or try a trial day, see how he gets on in the setting, and how the other children react to him.

Or if you really don't want him, perhaps you can say you are unable to do the hours she wants, or that you really need to fill the space with a full timer, or something like that.

Good luck.

[haribo]

not much advice :( what did you say to her -is she under the impression you are doing it ?

[newandlearning]

how about if you say that you only want to work 2 eves a week as you feel anymore would not give you the time you want for your own LO .. I've been told in past that saying you can't do the days wanted is a safer way of getting into an awkward situation... please let us know how you get on...xxx

[beccas]

tell her you will take him on for a trial basis of 2 weeks and if he dosent get along with the other children you will not beable to further extend the contract to a full one.. that way you have a get out clause and she already knows it also make sure you have a behaviour contract stating that if any un wated behaviour is not controllable you will have no choice but to terminate the contract.. hth

[Mouse]

The problem with using the excuse that you can only do certain days is that you run the risk of the parents saying they'll accept the days you do work. Eg. if you say you can only do 2 days & mum turns round & says that's OK, you're stuck!

I would just say something along the lines of having thought about it, you have decided you're not in a position to take on a child of that age at the moment as you want to concentrate on the pre-school children.

If you really don't want to do it, then don't even do a trial period. It's easier to say no now, than it is to terminate the contract once he's started.

[charliegee]

The problem with using the excuse that you can only do certain days is that you run the risk of the parents saying they'll accept the days you do work. Eg, if you say you can only do 2 days & mum turns round & says that's OK, you're stuck!

I would just say that having thought about it, you have decided you're not in a position to take on a child of that age at the moment as you want to concentrate on the pre-school children.

totally agree

really good advise given all round

Think that if you say something like you're not taking on at the moment, not doing x hours...is could be difficult to then take on someone else

or you could say the space has been filled? someones reserved the space?

mmmm...I agree with the above though - in saying that you are not in a position to take on a child of that age at the moment and want to concentrate on the preschoolers

good luck hun xxx

[HELEN10]

Tricky one especially if you see this lady regularly.

I would go with what mouse said and explain that as you have only been registered for five months it would be too much for you at the moment especially with your own, tell her that she would be better finding someone else rather that you taking them on and having to give notice further down the line.

Hope been of some help.

HELEN10

[The Juggler]

do you have any other after schoolers? if not, say you've thought and decided you don't think after schoolers are appropriate at the moment.

Or, be really honest. Just say, because of his use of bad language, you don't feel it's appropriate that he is around the younger children.

[mama2three]

has mum told you about his language / behaviour? if so i would say that ofsted guides you to put the needs of the preschoolers first , and after careful consideration, and taking into account what she has told you , you could not provide the care needed if you took on this child.

[LittleMissSparkles]

could you use the xcuse that you dont really want to work late in the evenings having though about it as when you do get some mindee's for the daytime it will make your working day too long .... just an idea xxx

hope you are able to tell her you dont want him x

[haribo]

you could always ask for a trial period and say its because you arent sure that you want to do after schoolers so you want to see how you cope . then if he is bad (and sometimes its surprising how they know they cant get away with it ) you can terminate .

[yummymummy]

I would just say that someone who came round earlier to see you has now said they want the space so you do not have a vacancy anymore. :thumbsup:

[Blaze]

I would just say that someone who came round earlier to see you has now said they want the space so you do not have a vacancy anymore. :thumbsup:

As above!:thumbsup:

[chels55]

I would just say that someone who came round earlier to see you has now said they want the space so you do not have a vacancy anymore. :thumbsup:

Thats what i would say :D

[PixiePetal]

I would just say that someone who came round earlier to see you has now said they want the space so you do not have a vacancy anymore. :thumbsup:


I have used that one, I make sure now I mention that others have been round - even if they haven't :blush:

[Bushpig]

I would just say that someone who came round earlier to see you has now said they want the space so you do not have a vacancy anymore. :thumbsup:

This is exactly what I have said in the past too... I don't feel I need to give a reason... it's my business, my home, my decision. I take on who I want.

[miffy]

You don't have to give any reason or explanation but it will be hard not to if you speak to the woman as she's bound to ask you. If you make up an excuse you might get found out, much better to be honest if you can - sounds as though she knows what her child is like so she shouldn't be surprised by your decision

Miffy xx