Do l have mug on my head

[tara]

My friend has asked me to pick her daughter up from school on tuesday and wednesday every week and drop her of to her nans house that is 2 min away apparently.I have a minded child with me on the tuesday and have 1 being dropped of at 4pm and l could really do with out it.How can l get out of it l dont mind helping but l dont want to go out ofway every week :( l have enough to do at home they have offered to give me £5 a month but shes a friend and at times dose look adter my little one for an hour or so but shes only ever at home.I told her l cant take money but l just wish she woul;d not rely on me so she can work.I would not mind if she was comming to my house as much but every week :(

[little chickee]

if you really dont want to do it then don't. might sound a bit harsh but after years of doing things for other people that i really don't want to do( cm related and not) and getting all stressed about it i have finally learned to put myself and my family first.

Just practise saying" no - i 'm sorry but i just can't fit that in to my schedule"

The more you say it the easier it becomes!!

[charliegee]

I agree - if you don't want to do it you shouldn't feel pressurised into it (know that's easier said than done - I know I for one and hopeless at saying no!)

good advise given about saying "sorry but doesn't fit into my schedule" and offer your friend the numbers of family information services perhaps or suggest netmums (!) or gumtree - that way you'll at least be offering to help point them in the right direction etc

HTH and hope all gets sorted for you

x

[charliegee]

sorry...just re read and see it is to drop off straight after school

(when I read first time I thought it was to come to you then drop off at nans later...)

I guess it would be hard to advertise on netmums etc for just that couple of minute walk....

I would just say that you're not able to at moment with the mindees you have and the situation you work with at present

good luck hun xxx

[ajs]

if you really don't want to do it spout ofsted and insurance tell her you're not allowed to have a child who hasn't got a contract and if you do that ofsted will expect all sorts of paperwork etc she doesn't have to know whether it's true or not

[tara]

Sounds really mean of me but l am busy on the tuesday anyway.Problem is l cant fit a child seat in the middle at the back seat.Also l have helped her when her child dose need a lift but l think its a cheek that her and her husband decided between them what l was going to do :angry: and she's a friend :( im a childminder because l cant work as the hours would not fit around my children.Shes gona train to be a childminder from january but still wants to keep her new job.:angry: :angry: sorry just hate being relied on just because it suits.

[The Juggler]

just tell her you are worried you won't get back in time for your pick up or tell her you don't have room in your car. If you normally use the car, you don't want to end up walking and then be walking back on yourself if it's pouring.

I have done this before for a sibling of a mindee. Then, one day I had no children to collect from school but had to go out for the child who I wasn't even being paid for!:rolleyes:

[caz3007]

Make some excuse and dont do it if you dont want to.

I used to meet a friend at the top of her road and take her child to school, she was in my sons class and she paid me £5 per week. It then got to me having to knock on the door for the child and then I used to knock and she would say the child wasnt going to school. In the end when I had really bad sciatica and could hardly walk, I knocked and she shouted out her bedroom window that she wasnt going to school, I said enough was enough.

She did get the education peeps onto her and now has to take her every morning herself. She was onto a good thing with me, but I was going to be taken for a ride and go out of my way

[wendywu]

Sounds really mean of me but l am busy on the tuesday anyway.Problem is l cant fit a child seat in the middle at the back seat.[QUOTE]

Well i think you have just answered your own question. If you cannot fit her car seat in you cannot do it. You dont want to break the law do you. :panic:

[nannymcflea]

I'm really sorry I can't do it, it would have been lovely to help you out as you've helped me in the past BUT...

A....Your'e taking the P**S

B....I really need to be able to use my car on certain days and i cannot fit X in.

C....If you pay me, X will need to be registered with me and will take a place of full time paying child.

D....I've had enquiries of another child and really need the money.

E....I'd fall out with you and your husband for ever and never speak to you again!


Take your pick!:D

[caz3007]

I think A is the best option :) :) :)


I'm really sorry I can't do it, it would have been lovely to help you out as you've helped me in the past BUT...

A....Your'e taking the P**S

B....I really need to be able to use my car on certain days and i cannot fit X in.

C....If you pay me, X will need to be registered with me and will take a place of full time paying child.

D....I've had enquiries of another child and really need the money.

E....I'd fall out with you and your husband for ever and never speak to you again!


Take your pick!:D

[tara]

Thanks for all your support ;) gona sort this out this week.

[miffy]

Good luck - your friend sounds a tad selfish to me :rolleyes:

Why can't the nan go and pick the child up from school and leave you out of it?

Miffy xx

[LittleStar's]

Dont ever let so called friends take you for a ride, just tell her straight you can not do it.

I used to give my friend and her little boy a lift upto school every morning, it came to the point that she would be stood waiting for me by the car when i came out of my front door! Never said thanks or offered any petrol money at all!!! It really did begin to get me down!
She told me one day that he had been in her friends car when it was icy , sat in the middle and took his belt off and her friend had to put her brakes on and he fell off his seat! I used this as an excuse to get out of giving her lifts!

She has only ever spoke to me once since and that was a couple of months after when she rang me at 9pm to see if I would pop my head out of my front door to watch her front door ( her son in bed!!! ) whilst she went to the shop for cigarettes! I said NO and that was the last time she spoke to me!

Do we really need people that take us for granted???

Sorry for the big long story, just an example!

Good Luck x x x :D

[charliegee]

I think A is the best option :) :) :)

hahaha!! I thought A was the best option too!!!

seriously though I'd say taht the option about the car is a great one to go for as that way you don't give your friend the option of "have you heard anthing about your enquiry" or "I don't mind if we register properly wiht you and do the paperwork" - by saying about the car its a def no so to speak! - hahaha - or actually say it all to her!! is all good advise

hope you get it sorted hun, keep us updated with how you get on!:)

[The Juggler]

I'm really sorry I can't do it, it would have been lovely to help you out as you've helped me in the past BUT...

A....Your'e taking the P**S

B....I really need to be able to use my car on certain days and i cannot fit X in.

C....If you pay me, X will need to be registered with me and will take a place of full time paying child.

D....I've had enquiries of another child and really need the money.

E....I'd fall out with you and your husband for ever and never speak to you again!




Take your pick!:D

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: I'd love to have the guts to say A or E!

[ChocolateChip]

I would go with either the car seat option, or pretending you have another enquiry therefore if she wants the space she will have to do it all properly and pay, etc.
I see she is going to register as a cm herself, so just be careful not to give her too much 'nonsense', stick to facts as in a few months she will know whether some things are true or not and you don't want it coming back to bite you on the bum!

[newbie]

I can totally sympathise....I have a friend that is always asking me to help out with her kids and fails to see that I have 6 kids most of the time (3 mindees and 3 of my own). I have stopped helping her out now and funnily enough (not really....quite upset about it actually) she has barely called me for even a chat :(

[Straws]

Just tell her you wont be insured unless the child is on the books and would cost x amount a week , ask the nan to collect.

Straws xx

[lovemyprams]

As others have said you cannot do it because of car seat situation - just tell her that.

From personal experience I would never childmind for friends. Its too personal and sometimes they want you to work for peanuts and take you for granted! :angry:

Hope you get it sorted.