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tara
20-11-2009, 08:34 PM
I have 2 children of my own there ages are 2 and 7 then l mind a child of 18 months.On tuesday this week comming l have a boy starting with aspergers syndrome hes 9 and over the phone the mum said hes fairly good in other peoples homes.But when he came to meet me he was a bit nervous as hes just finishing with another childminder as they said he was stealing.But im now worried when he was here he asked me can l go upstairs so many times so he can go in my childrens bedrooms :angry: but im weak and afder a few times l took him up to my daughters bedroom l felt under pressure as the mother had also asked if she could go up to my daugters bedroom to say hello ( my daughter gets shy ) in my head l wanted to say no and should of but did not want to seem rude :panic: .My daughter did come down stairs we brought some games he threw some cards at my daughter. He also finished them really quickly and then wanted another one that he had seen this was making me feel :panic: He was very full on and also shouted at my 2 year old saying he dont play with toddlers.My friends child has aspergers syndrome as well but not as bad.The parents seem very soft on him ,Any advice would be great l dont want this family taking over my home when there here and l want to be able to handle this child but im feeling worried for my own children any advice would be great ?

jaja
20-11-2009, 08:38 PM
Be open and honest with the mum, he is possibly playing up becasue of the routine being change and feeling lost(like any other normal boy), hes just like any other child, your rules, your home and your business, he needs clear boundaires and so does his mum, keep things simple and to the point with both, your daughter comes first.

Take one day at a time and see how things go...

good luck xxxx

youarewhatyoueat
20-11-2009, 08:44 PM
How often will he be coming, is it worth it financially if you are already a bit unsure. Make sure you give yourself plenty of settling in time, I wouldn't offer a full contract till after xmas to see how it goes. You need to find out what he enjoys doing and be firm with some rules, I don't let children upstairs unless they have been invited by my children, that is my childrens space to do homework or just to get away.

Lou
20-11-2009, 08:53 PM
This is quite a commitment and i would make sure you have a settling in period on the contract, maybe longer than normal if you are unsure.

I cared for 2 children from one family who i am sure had some form of autsim or aspergers, but everytime i tried to talk to the parents about it, i was met with barriers up, and that they did not like to label their children! I understand that, but i wanted to get the appropriate advise/support to help them.

I had no end of problems with the children, they have severe problems that i didnt feel at all experienced or qualified to deal with.

Its a VERY long story but ended badly, the eldest child stole my sons Nintendo DS, and the parents tried to excuse her behaviour by saying it was my fault.....for variuos silly reasons....i had left it lying around.....i gave the child strwaberries that day and they think she might be allergic etc etc.

Anyway when i realised what had happened i rang them and insisted they bring it back immedietly.....it was 9pm!!!:eek: They said no they would bring it backon the childs next day with me!!!! It was friday and the child was not due until Tuesday!!!!!! NO WAY i made it quite clear they would be bringing it back right now!!!! When they arrived i took it off them on the doorstep and terminated the contract with immediate effect!!! They then made a complaint to OFSTED........again long boring story.

Please approach with caution. Im sorry if i have gone on, and i certainly dont want to scare you, and if you can give this child adequate care then go for it, but just do so with open eyesxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

sarah707
20-11-2009, 09:01 PM
A child with aspergers has very special and specific needs.

If you do not have any experience of aspergers you can find out more here -

http://www.aspergerfoundation.org.uk/

You need the full backing of your family before you move on with this child.

If you don't and things go wrong you will be alone and it will be much harder.

I have first hand experience of aspies. If you want any more advice please feel free to pm me. :D

mushpea
20-11-2009, 09:04 PM
I think it depends on you as a person and also the extent of the aspergers syndrome as it is such a wide spectrum, the child may be mild but be playing up at your house at the moment because of the change or he may be on the higher end and need a lot more support, if you are seriously thinking of taking the child on then you need to have a good chat with the parents to find out more about the child and condtion and severity of it, you may also be able to talk to the other proffesionals involved in his care to get a better picture of him and how to deal with his tantrums and manerisums, you can also talk to the parent about what is and what is not acceptable in your own home as even though he has aspergers he still needs to be treated like a 'normal' child as we always say treat children equally and it goes both ways for all things. the parent may be able to suggest stragtergies to help you deal with him and also ask if you can talk to the previous childminder for the same reasons.
my son has aspergers and can have a major temper at times but he is also a very sensitive caring and loving child who gets very emotinal over the littlest of things, yes he can be very hard work but he is also a pleasure and somtimes in some ways easier than his older sister who is 'normal' but bloomin hormonal at the moment!!!!!!!

beccas
20-11-2009, 09:05 PM
I care for a lo with aspherges i spotted it and she has a ocd habit where she will here someone go to the toliet so wants to go herself but then can continue going 10 times with in the next half hour. just be firm no one is allowed upstairs unless they use the bathroom. i let them go alone but i can hear them andif they go to any bedrooms i tell them in furture i will be escorting them to the bathroom. She also stares at nothing sometimes feels like she looking through you if i was you i would take him on but set ground rules at the begining and get him to trust you because everything is new and strange to him, and i find that kids play up to their parents.