do any of your mindees stop listening when parents picks up

[newandlearning]

its really odd but for the last 2 weeks of so my 3 yo mindee has started taking socks off rather than shoes on.. running around.. not listening .. making a mess... screaming.. collapsing on floor with tantrum...

tonight .. he threw art collage stuff on floor when he was picked up.. started running around instead of tidying.. and when I said come on lets get ready in front of his pick up he said 'get off me'...

does anyone else get this kinda stuff happening at home time .. its like he's picked up that I tend to take a step back and let mum deal with the behaviour at home time.. should I be taking more charge? does anyone know why this type stuff happens? and if you've experienced this or can give advice .. please do.. thanks a lot..x:)

[Merry-Minder]

My 17 month mindee does exactly the same and for the same reason - that I dont think its so much my place to disipline a child when their own parent is there to do it - and he knows it!!!!

[patevans]

its really odd but for the last 2 weeks of so my 3 yo mindee has started taking socks off rather than shoes on.. running around.. not listening .. making a mess... screaming.. collapsing on floor with tantrum...

tonight .. he threw art collage stuff on floor when he was picked up.. started running around instead of tidying.. and when I said come on lets get ready in front of his pick up he said 'get off me'...

does anyone else get this kinda stuff happening at home time .. its like he's picked up that I tend to take a step back and let mum deal with the behaviour at home time.. should I be taking more charge? does anyone know why this type stuff happens? and if you've experienced this or can give advice .. please do.. thanks a lot..x:)

The 2 year old I have is doing exactly the same and its driving me insane..arghhhh!! he has started pulling the posters and things off the walls when she is here and I do tell him off and so does she.

[Chimps Childminding]

Unfortunately this seems to happen a lot! Even the best behaved child seems to turn into a monster at pick up :angry: One of mine never ever goes up the stairs or touches anything in my lounge - until mum comes - then she runs up and down the stairs, in and out of the bedrooms and comes into the kitchen while I am talking to mum with ornaments or candles from my lounge!!!!!!!!!!!!!:angry: I have now taken to giving a word of warning before mum arrives and touch wood it seems to have worked!!!!!!!!


I am sure they just try it on to see how much they can get away with, but its soooooooo annoying!!!!!!!!!!! :angry:

[sarah707]

I have 2 that have been giving me problems so I have started a new action plan...

Calm time 10 minutes before parents come...

Remind children of how to behave...

Inform parents that since it's my house it's my rules...

Take charge when parents come to the door...

Be absolutely in charge and stop any silliness in its tracks.

So far, cross fingers, it's pretty much working... the parents weren't too impressed to start with but I explained to them that what was happening was totally unacceptable and they seem to appreciate it now that things are changing.

Then at the end of the getting ready session, heaps of praise :D

[Alibali]

I've had this with all of mine at some point, when they are going through this stage I ask parents to call me before pick up and I get the children ready and hand over at the door:) No time for carry on then. It works really well.

[mushpea]

yep most of them play up when mum/dad comes. you could ask mum to txt you when she is 10mins away and then you can get the little one ready so that when she arrives they go almost straight away or you can explain to mum that your house rules still apply when she arrives and that so there is no confusion you will still apply them.
i did this when i had a child who was hurrendous when parent came, one day he refused to get ready so i sent parent in the kitchen and said to the child that if he didnt get his shoes on i would walk him to the car without them on, he refused so i walked him outside, after two steps he asked for his shoes which he put on, the next night he didnt argue with me over his shoes but still wouldnt behave for dad so in the end i told dad that although he was here my rules still applied and I wwould still apply them, when the child realised i wasnt putting up with it and that dad would back me up on this he gave in and did as he was told.

[newandlearning]

thanks for replies ladies.. the text before pick up is something I too was thinking of.. my mum doesn't feel its appropriate to pull him by the arm when he refuses to move.. and I'm not meant to push him either.. so he then has to get picked up as he collapses in a heap otherwise.. which to be honest is what he wants.. he wants his shoes put on, his jacket put on and to be carried.. he would happily walk to the car with no shoes on as he hates wearing shoes... I could get both ready turn telly off get them waiting in hall.. I realise I've been leaving mum to sort out and he takes mikey as mum is soft.. I think there has to be less choice and more definite action...!! RRRRR... I'm feeling like a tiger now..:laughing: :cheerleader:

[nokidshere]

Nearly every child I have minded does this - from the 2 year old to the 14 year old!!!

Whilst they are still in my house they are still my rules - regardless of wether the parent is here or not. Thankfully the parents are supportive and often they say "well I am going now anyway" and start to open the door - the children get ready pretty quickly when they think they are being left behind! I have one parent who goes and sits in the car if her son is really bad then I call her to say he is ready :)

[julie w]

Mine always do this and it drives me mad, especially when the parents say nothing. I have a 4 year old who starts screeching silly noises when I try to talk to her mum, whilst looking all smug at me. The mum just laughs and says they're a silly sausage or something similar. Another always asks for another drink or apple when mum comes. Yesterday it was 'i need an apple, i'm hungry' . Before I could reply mum said' ok then as long as you eat your tea'. The child took an apple, took one bite, then said 'I dont want it' Mums reply, 'put it in the bin then' . I was mad. I said it was a waste and someone else could have had that. Mum said ' oh she always does that at home.':angry:

[Curly Quavers]

I've had this with all of mine at some point, when they are going through this stage I ask parents to call me before pick up and I get the children ready and hand over at the door:) No time for carry on then. It works really well.

This is what I was going to say I find it works well.

[PixiePetal]

Yes this happens a lot :)

I have sent a child home in no shoes. Mum came to collect, all ready, then somehow shoes are off :rolleyes: Mum asked for shoes to go back on, child did the rolling on the floor floppy grizzle routine so mum said ok, if you won't put them on you can come home without :laughing: Cue grizzly child trotting after mum in no shoes - didn't do it again!

If I think there will be a problem, I have them ready by the door on time :thumbsup:

[The Juggler]

Two of mine are so bad I've threatened that if they don't behave and put shoes and coats on for mum we'll do it before she gets here and they can sit on the stairs and wait for her!:laughing: :laughing:

[madasahatter]

I've always taken the attitude that in my house the children do as I say. The parent is effectively a guest. Often parents feel embarrassed at the way their child is behaving and this can make them reluctant to take their children to task.
On a number of occasions where children start playing up on a regular basis I have said to the parent 'would you mind going to your car, I'll sort X out and bring them to you in a minute'...Parent leaves, child knows I won't stand any nonsense, gets ready and I take them outside. I'd never say something like 'look mummy has gone without you' though as that is both a lie and a bit cruel.
Mind you if I go out to toddlers etc I will nearly always say something to a child who is behaving inappropriately, always politely, calmly and firmly 'We do not push other children over here' etc then I'll usually say to their adult 'I hope you don't mind but I had to tell your child that it is wrong to push' or something similar.

[Zoomie]

Mind you if I go out to toddlers etc I will nearly always say something to a child who is behaving inappropriately, always politely, calmly and firmly 'We do not push other children over here' etc then I'll usually say to their adult 'I hope you don't mind but I had to tell your child that it is wrong to push' or something similar.

:thumbsup: this always bugs me and I haven't been minding long enough to get my head around sorting other peoples children. Thanks :)

[PixiePetal]

Mind you if I go out to toddlers etc I will nearly always say something to a child who is behaving inappropriately, always politely, calmly and firmly 'We do not push other children over here' etc then I'll usually say to their adult 'I hope you don't mind but I had to tell your child that it is wrong to push' or something similar.

Same here and it happens a little too often for my liking as parents sit and chat oblivious to their LO. Have even had to say it to some minders :rolleyes:

[sweets]

yep mine do it too! i think they have a switch on them somewhere that gets pressed into winge mode as soon as they see thier parents.

[Ripeberry]

Even my 15 month old does something similar, but he runs away from his mum when she comes through the door. He is smiling all the time, I think he wants her to chase him :D

[little daisies]

its my house so the children will do as thier told and behave till they are out of my gate i`m afraid. i have been known to put 1 or2 on the step when their parents a are there through not doing as thier told you only have to do it once and a threat of it seems to work now. if nothing is done the behaviour gets worse. some of the parents disapline is terrible and they don1t do anything:blush:

[RedDragon]

This is definitely the 1 thing that bothers me about my job - when the parents arrive to pick up the child.


Lately I have a child who will walk from the car to about 4 foot of my front door and then refuse to come in - I can see the pound signs of heat rushing out of my door as mum says "Come on, don't be silly" etc etc for about 10 mins. In the end I have said grab his hand and bring him towards me and go - she does so reluctantly but once I have got hold of his arm I bring him in, close the door and let him have a tantrum - it is now a usual occurance but parent doesn't seem to take the hint that if you bring him to my actual door I can take over - instead of this sillyness.


I have a couple of others who once parent arrives they proceed to open their book bags to show parent what they have done at school.

Another won't let parent put their shoes on and then looks at me like I am the devil when I try to do it (usually while parent is finishing their text message conversation).

[Mollymop]

Oh yes, I have this a lot ... it's probably because they think "my mum's here now, so you can't say anything to me!"

One mindee I used to care for used to stick her tongue out to me, hit my dd, shove her elbow into me, etc when Dad was here...he used to tell her off and once even slapped her hand in front of me.

She would never ever do this if her Dad wasn't there.

I have a mindee at present who is very affectionate to me and always hugs and kissses me. As soon as mum comes and mum asks mindee to give me a hug and kiss bye bye, she shakes her head and walks off!:rolleyes:

kids hey? :laughing:

[georgie456]

My 17 month mindee does exactly the same and for the same reason - that I dont think its so much my place to disipline a child when their own parent is there to do it - and he knows it!!!!

I make it very clear when I meet parents for the first time that as long as their child is in my house - regardless of whether they are there or not - I deal with any disciplining that needs doing.

It can be incredibly hard when they are sat there watching you,but soon stopped my 2yr old mindees awful behaviour when his mum collected.
It took a couple of instances of him having to be put on the "thinking cushion" (:D ) by me in front of mum for him to click that he wasn't going to get away with it!!!

[RedDragon]

I make it very clear when I meet parents for the first time that as long as their child is in my house - regardless of whether they are there or not - I deal with any disciplining that needs doing.

It can be incredibly hard when they are sat there watching you,but soon stopped my 2yr old mindees awful behaviour when his mum collected.
It took a couple of instances of him having to be put on the "thinking cushion" (:D ) by me in front of mum for him to click that he wasn't going to get away with it!!!
Thinking cushion :D can I get one for my husband please :D

[mandy moo]

Thinking cushion :D can I get one for my husband please :D

Husband and 2 boys please:laughing: :laughing:

[Daisy1956]

This happens most nights think parents like the fuss. I have tried talking to the children now I remind children that they are still in my house and my rules still applyWould like to meet them at the door but not possible at the moment.

[babs]

i have the same problem mindee kicks off when is been collected and does not want to go home, so now mum txts me when shes on way so i put coat and shoes on ready. she had problems walkin her home too as she would sit down in middle of my drive refusin to move now has brought a double buggy but lo still refuses sometimes to get in it, ive thought of everything just hopin now they will get use to goin home at the end of the day. mum even said one day last week ok u can stay here and shut the door leaving her in my house, my hubby was in hallway on computer and lo said to him mummy says i stop here ... lol didnt work she was quite happy to sit and watch him on computer when mum opened door again after puttin other daughter in buggy she still didnt want to go home. if anyone has any other ideas apart from me stickin them in buggy and walkin up and down out till she arrives...

[carebear25]

I have this with my 4yr old mindee - he completly changes when the door bell goes. But both him an him mum know that if still in my house still my rules.

Had a small incident couple of nites ago, it was my ds 2nd birthday an his aunt came round with present which he opened an wanted to play with so we got it out and when it was time for mindee to go, he played up and ended up kickin new toy (lukily not breakin it) which I was not happy about.

Mum let me tell him this, at 1st he wouldnt listen as there were a few people there at the time so I took him into the other room so just me an him an calmly told him we dont kick toys and he said sorry.

Think he was just excited for my ds but no excuse.

:)

[little chickee]

i'm having the same problem with my 5 yo mindee - as soon as his mum arrives he starts speaking in a silly voice, being cheeky , interupting when she is talking to me, wanting to show mum what he has in his schoolbag, not putting shoes and jacket on - it can take 15-20 mins to get him out the door and i've had enough.

yesterday i told him before mun arrived that there was to be no sillyness just shoes and jacket on and go - well he was deliberatly defiant - sat with his feet under him refusing to put on his shoes - i firmly told him to put on his shoes right away as my kids tea was ready and i wanted him to go home.

from now on he will be ready to be collected before mum rings the bell cos he doesnt mess about when its just me.

[SmartKids]

I find every child will try this on at some stage - it just depends for how long depending on how the parents handle it. ie softer parents the longer it lasts the firmer the shorter time it lasts. I will also speak to the child and offer them the choice of putting shoes on early and sitting in the hallway until mum/dad arrives or being very good and putting their own shoes on - in most cases the child will decide to put shoes on and do. However, if I do not remind them next time all hells let loose so have to do this approach for a few weeks.

[~Chelle~]

I find that the 3 year old that I look after always makes a grab for things that he knows he is not allowed to have!:angry: It always happens when mum picks him up, never his dad.

So I say to him "no, you are not allowed to have that are you and just because mummy is here, does not mean that you are allowed to have it". Mum always backs me up and says that it is Chelle's house and Chelle's rules.

I did have this with an ex mindee and he would always misbehave and poke his tongue out at me when mum turned up. If I told his mum that he was naughty that day and had to have thinking time, he would start crying and she would comfort him and tell him that she had sweets for him in the car! :eek: .