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View Full Version : I've had an awful morning!



terrydoo73
18-11-2009, 11:45 AM
First at 7.00 am my hubby woke me - he was in agony with a pulled muscle on his shoulder and needed gel like yesterday - I asked him why he couldn't have just gone to the medicine cupboard as there was both gel and painkillers - "Oh I never thought of that". What is it they say about men - they are practically dying when they are ill but women just get on with it or something to that effect!

Just now I have put my 3 mindees down for a sleep although I can still hear one on the monitor crying and shouting for his mum - if he keeps on at it he will waken the other 2!

The twins (aged 19 months) arrived at 8.00 and the other little boy aged 29 months at 8.30. That was a difficulty too - his elder sister was in the car and kept insisting she was sick. Mum said she wasn't taking her to nursery but she was going to grans - I got the impression she would be with me from dinner time on so that could mean any minute now she will land with me! We (mum and I) tried not to make a big thing of it in case the little brother got wind and decided he wasn't coming to me and seemed to work.

One of the twins was just in a mood for carnage today. He never settled from the moment he arrived, destroying every toy he could possibly. His latest trick is emptying boxes of toys all over the floor and then running away laughing and he repeated this quite a few times today already. He then destroyed the pop up tent quicker than I could repair it each time, then he climbed on top of the little kitchen and fell off. He has broken a little push along duck and generally made a real nuisance of himself. Between him crying when he didn't get his own way and the little older boy whining because toys were being taken off him my head is in a real spin.

At least the other twin did help me to put all the toys back in the box again although for him it was more like a game - shows that when you continually do something and repeat it the children do start to learn!

I am trying to work the twins into 1 sleep a day although it is a long day for them - they leave me at 6 pm tonight. Yesterday they only slept for an hour at 11.30 am and by the time they went home in the evening they were so exhausted they couldn't fight with dad to get out into the yard any more.

I would just really love some techniques to settle children easily - I was thinking this morning if only I knew what to do with a child when they are in the mood for destruction and not playing then things might be easier. Anyone got any suggestions? I have tried playing with them and that lasts for all of about 2 seconds. I have tried putting physical activity type toys out like a tunnel and slide and again they find someway of destroying the actual toy itself. I have also set toys out for them to play but they just go to the rest of the toys that are not out and empty them all over the floor. Is it just their age or will they settle eventually? I dread what it would be like if I ever took them to a toddler group - I might have to end up paying to replace their toys!

sarah707
18-11-2009, 12:18 PM
Crikey it sounds like you've had a tough morning... my lot have cancelled so it's lovely and quiet here! :laughing:

The most successful ways to resolve issues like destructive behaviour are... to have consistent routines and to be consistent about your expectations.

However tired you are, if you stick to those the message will get through eventually with most children.

So when the children arrive, your routine might be to all sit down and sing a few songs, then read a book.

Then the children can choose something to play with... and you all play together.

Don't leave them alone to start with, as this is when I find the worst of issues happening... oh she's gone let's get into mischief syndrome!! :laughing:

Have a cuppa now while it's quiet! :D

little daisies
18-11-2009, 12:21 PM
put them in a cage so they cant touch anything:laughing:
i have that every day with my nephew it really gets you down after a while:(

Elena
18-11-2009, 02:11 PM
Poor you! sounds like you have a lot on - I find letting them run it off is good - garden/park play just let them go nuts outside - they'll soon get tired and want a rest as sometimes they build up excess energy.

They'll soon get into a routine - it took me just over 2 months !:)

youarewhatyoueat
18-11-2009, 02:13 PM
I would definately get out with them every morning, It may help you get into a different routine, if they have a slightly later sleep it may be better and they may sleep longer.
Toddler groups or childrens centres have very robust toys and they will learn how to behave by copying others.I would try to go out in the morning and nap on the way if need be, home for lunch and then sleep at 1ish, they may sleep longer if theyve eaten and then a quiet activity in the afternoon, or a sing/dance type session.
Stick with it, but get outside if they are getting rough, all in ones and wellies and go to the park or just splash in puddles.
I could not cope if I didn't get out every morning with 3 under 2's, its a good routine and seems to work for us, good luck.

mama2three
18-11-2009, 02:25 PM
lavender oil!
At the playgroup i worked at we put it in the playdough and as if by magic , calmer children! And calm down music too , maybe something classical?
Plus lots of manipulative play , dough etc is great for demanding littlies , it can help them work out their frustrations.
Like the others i think i would attempt to structure the sessions more , although i know this largely goes against the principles of free play.

terrydoo73
18-11-2009, 06:55 PM
And it got worse as the day went on! The twins only slept for 3/4 hour and they were awful to work with the rest of the afternoon. I could have taken the easy option and put them down again but thought no I want them into a routine of just one sleep a day and although it may take a week to get them there I am going to stick with it.

Thanks for all your replies - it helped me put things in perspective!

The eldest mindee - well I got a text from mum at midday to say she would be with me at 3.00 so at least I only had her for 2 hours but being with granny meant she really did not want to be with me!

My problem with getting them out so early in the morning is how cold and wet some mornings are but I guess if even for half an hour it might help them more. I never really know what to do in the mornings as they wander from toy to toy terribly. Usually I am trying to get my own daughter to the bus on time and clear up the breakfast mess in the kitchen!

My eldest mindee as I said is at nursery until 11.15 and as I live 6 miles from nearest toddler groups it means that takes 15 minutes to get there and most do not start until 10.30 am so hardly worth my while going out!

Can I put playdough out to this young an age? I would always be scared of them eating it!

All my children have been with me a while - the twins since February and the 2 others back since September although they were off for 2 months in the summer!

I have a question about consistency in helping the behaviour pattern - you see I have a playroom attached to my living room and was advised by my social worker to let them have as much access to as many toys as possible all of the time! I used to restrict the toys, tidy up at morning snack and put out new ones. Which is better?

I am extremely tired right now and I know the house needs a good clean but have no energy! My daughter says "are you going out tonight" and I just laughed out loud and said no way I might be going to bed but that is as far as I will be tonight!

It is hard work with twins and I do not think I will ever agree to taking on twins again! I love them to bits don't get me wrong but it is a lot of work 10 hour days! At least it is only 3 days a week!

nannymcflea
18-11-2009, 10:30 PM
And it got worse as the day went on! The twins only slept for 3/4 hour and they were awful to work with the rest of the afternoon. I could have taken the easy option and put them down again but thought no I want them into a routine of just one sleep a day and although it may take a week to get them there I am going to stick with it.

Thanks for all your replies - it helped me put things in perspective!

The eldest mindee - well I got a text from mum at midday to say she would be with me at 3.00 so at least I only had her for 2 hours but being with granny meant she really did not want to be with me!

My problem with getting them out so early in the morning is how cold and wet some mornings are but I guess if even for half an hour it might help them more. I never really know what to do in the mornings as they wander from toy to toy terribly. Usually I am trying to get my own daughter to the bus on time and clear up the breakfast mess in the kitchen!

My eldest mindee as I said is at nursery until 11.15 and as I live 6 miles from nearest toddler groups it means that takes 15 minutes to get there and most do not start until 10.30 am so hardly worth my while going out!

Can I put playdough out to this young an age? I would always be scared of them eating it!

All my children have been with me a while - the twins since February and the 2 others back since September although they were off for 2 months in the summer!

I have a question about consistency in helping the behaviour pattern - you see I have a playroom attached to my living room and was advised by my social worker to let them have as much access to as many toys as possible all of the time! I used to restrict the toys, tidy up at morning snack and put out new ones. Which is better?

I am extremely tired right now and I know the house needs a good clean but have no energy! My daughter says "are you going out tonight" and I just laughed out loud and said no way I might be going to bed but that is as far as I will be tonight!

It is hard work with twins and I do not think I will ever agree to taking on twins again! I love them to bits don't get me wrong but it is a lot of work 10 hour days! At least it is only 3 days a week!

If there are too many toys out they will not know what to play with...less is certainly more...so to speak...there is nothing wrong with rotating toys.:thumbsup:

youarewhatyoueat
19-11-2009, 08:16 AM
Have a look round for more toddler groups, it took me a lot of asking around to find ones that fit in with me, I go 12 miles to one at the childrens centre on a monday, I go straight from the school run and then leave at 11.30, home for lunch then they all go to sleep. The other on a tuesday I go 8 miles, and on a wednesday we either go to the library or a long toddle or different group depending on the weather.
The 11.15 pick up is a pain for you, that impacts on the whole day, thats one reason why I won't do them. It stops any decent length outings, unless your childrens centre does an afternoon group, ours does, worth checking out.
Is there someone you could join up with a couple of days a week, so you could do things together.
Play doh for this age group is fab, they also love gloop, trays filled with anything sensory, I have pine cones and little people in trays. Go out with baskets and fill them with anything you find.
We go out most mornings to do messy play, I live in a small house and its how I cope, I would go nuts staying home with 3 under 2,I admire anyone who does as its much harder work.
Worth contacting the group that starts at 10.30 and see if its ok to turn up early, you may find others do.

Lick'le Oakes
19-11-2009, 10:10 AM
I have no advice really but hope you have a better day today.:group hug:

terrydoo73
19-11-2009, 11:42 AM
Well I have now put the 3 down for their morning sleep - here's hoping it will be longer that 3/4 hour!! I did take them outside this morning - it was drizzling rain but they had their waterproofs on, hats, boots etc and we stayed out for a good 3/4 until the rain got heavier. I don't think this worked though - they just wandered round and round my yard (I have quite a big one), looking at everything but even though ride ons were out they never played with them - one of them tried to get into the empty rabbit hutch - the door was closed and tight but they still got it open and tried twice! I think it will have to be a toddle if I try this again - more energy to use up!

When they came in from outside and had their morning snack they just went mad - running from room to room throwing toys and screaming - it really took all my powers not to get upset and mad myself!

Afternoon group would not suit me again because of the school run - my daughter gets home at 3.40 and I sometimes (not always) have the parents on her heel at that time too. It usually takes me from 12.30 to 2.00 just to get lunch out of the way! Sometimes I wonder if it wouldnt be a good idea just to have another childminder come to me but I know they couldn't cope with my twins roughness!

Unfortunately this situation with 11.15 playgroup will not change for a few years now as the eldest mindee's little brother will go there next year and probably the twins the year after! I know it would be better not to get this age group for the future. I had assumed this particular mindee would have gone to the local playgroup which finishes at 11.30 and there is a toddler group on a Tuesday running next door to this playgroup at the same time but no the mum wanted a "principal" nursery! I off course had to point out that I would not be involved in taking or collecting her to the nursery because it would interfere with children's sleeping pattern and getting them there and back would waste nearly 1 hour in each day as well as the hassle of getting them into the car, out of the car, into the car again and out when we got home!

The nursery does run an afternoon session - from 12.45 to 3.15 pm. I could suggest she try this one next year to allow me to get out to toddlers but I run into the problem of an early school run next year - 1 child would be going in at 12.45 the next one coming out of the school at 2.00 then the first one out at 3.15 and my daughter home on the bus for 3.40!!

I think I might decide in future never to take on twins - might have to even give these 2 up if they don't settle down soon!

lou lou
19-11-2009, 02:09 PM
just wanted to let you know i have one those mornings but i seem to be having them very often these days are we mad doing childminding!!!!!

LittleAcorns
19-11-2009, 04:47 PM
I would just really love some techniques to settle children easily - I was thinking this morning if only I knew what to do with a child when they are in the mood for destruction and not playing then things might be easier. Anyone got any suggestions? I have tried playing with them and that lasts for all of about 2 seconds. I have tried putting physical activity type toys out like a tunnel and slide and again they find someway of destroying the actual toy itself. I have also set toys out for them to play but they just go to the rest of the toys that are not out and empty them all over the floor. Is it just their age or will they settle eventually? I dread what it would be like if I ever took them to a toddler group - I might have to end up paying to replace their toys!

wow what a day

from experience when they are in distruction mode, they are tired, lay them down for a nap, even if they just rest!! children can become over stimulated and be little monsters!!!

terrydoo73
20-11-2009, 03:22 PM
Well today is Friday and it is near 3.30 pm. I have managed to get through today by doing very little! I only have eldest 2 mindees today. Tried unsuccessful to get the little boy down for a sleep this morning but he wasn't having any of it - 1 hour later I just got him up and decided enough was enough. Yesterday when I told his mum I had had the same problem she informed me that he doesn't sleep the weekends for her now - duh! Am I not supposed to be told this instead of wasting my time every day??

Eldest mindee has gone through the phase this afternoon of bringing every toy imaginable and I mean everything and dumping them all behind my sofa then walking away to get more - she never actually plays with any of them. So for every toy she has dumped I dump them back into the playroom and telling her to put them away if she doesn't want to play with them, that this is the room they are to be kept in ie played in and put away in! Harsh but she is nearly 4 and she is trying my patience today really badly!

Tried the trick yesterday afternoon of restricting the twins and her to one room in the house while the other little boy slept and this was not the playroom so there was no temptation to bring loads out - they only had 3 buckets of toys and worked well. Might do this again but according to time frame ie first thing in the morning just to get them settled into my house, then afternoon if they are being too messy again.

Hope you all have had a good Friday and get yourself rested for another hectic week ahead!

terrydoo73
20-11-2009, 03:23 PM
wow what a day

from experience when they are in distruction mode, they are tired, lay them down for a nap, even if they just rest!! children can become over stimulated and be little monsters!!!

My problem with laying them down for a nap is they sleep in my good room and have been known to get out of the cots and walk about inspecting everything - I just have too much in that room that could be destroyed or broken - paranoid or what? I unfortunately have no other rooms in the house that they could be set down to sleep in.

terrydoo73
24-11-2009, 11:53 AM
Well a new week with my troublesome mindees particularly twins aged 1 1 /2 years. This morning tried a new tact. When they came in I had the playroom closed off and just used my living room with 2 buckets of toys. This lasted well from about 8.30 to 9.45, then we had toast and oranges and I changed the toys to a different 2 buckets. I have now put them down for a sleep after which it will be lunch time. The other 2 older mindees are now here too so I think this afternoon after lunch time I will let them use the playroom, hallway and living room and see how it goes. If I feel they are being too rowdy and not settled enough will try and restrict the area used again. I also put in a few toys for the older two while the little ones are sleeping even though they do have access to the playroom etc and that seems to be working for them as they are focusing in on specific toys which is brilliant.

I decided to stop trying to wrestle with my 2 1/2 year old for a sleep during the day. He is whining terrible and falling out with his sister but there is no point in trying to put him down in a cot as he shouts and sings the odds disturbing the twins and getting my blood pressure up. After mum said she hasn't been able to get him to sleep at the weekends I thought why should I bother.

Heres hoping the rest of the day will go as smoothly as this morning!

helenlc
24-11-2009, 01:40 PM
Fingers crossed for you!

I think the strategy you are using of minimising toys is working for them. It could just be that they were bowled over by all that you had available (be in out or in accessible storage) and just couldnt decide what to do!! If you are ever questioned on this, just explain (and maybe back up with some obs) that the children in your care were over stimulated by too much being out. They are still having the freedom to choose what they want to play with but you have just restricted what they can choose from as this suits them better.

Before I had my playroom/conservatory built, I was limited with space so would just get selected things out. Children could then point to something else if they wanted it but they had to help me tidy up the other things first. This worked well. Now I have my playroom, it is all low level accessible storage and everything comes out! I have 3 aged 2 and under and each will get something different out.

I also have one (18 mths) who has a tendency to empty a box then move in without even touching the toys in it. When I catch her doing this, I take her back over to the box and make her put the things back in. She does do it with some prompting! But she is learning that if she gets things out she has to put them back if she is not playing with them.

I used to nanny for twins but luckily they were little angels:littleangel: . I still have them now sometimes and they are 5. It comes down to the personality of the twins as opposed to the fact that its just ALL twins that are liked your two!!!

Anyway, here's hoping things calm down for you.

ChocolateChip
24-11-2009, 07:43 PM
Glad you are having a better time, seems like your new tactics are working so well done you!
If your little one won't actually sleep, can you encourage him to have 'quiet time' when the others nap, books, quiet tv or something? I did this when one of mine stopped sleeping, a few times he even fell asleep while looking at books. If he doesn't actually drop off then fine, but he understands now when to sit quietly and that he can't just tear around the house all day.

terrydoo73
24-11-2009, 08:47 PM
Thanks for all your optimism. This afternoon went okay with the twins - I restricted them again just before my daughter came home from school mainly because I knew they all were tired and that is when the most problems do occur - out of my sight as they wander about, trip, fall etc!

As regards the little boy who will not sleep - hubby said to me at dinner time that he definately looked tired today and before the day was out he was whining for his mum and that was a sure sign he was tired. I tried several times to get him up on the couch and look at books but to no effect. What eventually worked was when my daughter put on the tv for the last half an hour and he sat on the couch to watch even though it was more for the older age group. Of course the day he wants his mum she arrives well after 5 - I would hate to think how she coped with the two of them up to going to bed! At least it was only 2 hours whereas I had it for 8! His sister was also tired but she becomes a real pain when tired - goes absolutely hyper!

To be honest I got really angry today - not at myself but at my social worker who came out in August to approve me for another year. She put it down clearly on my report that I should open up my playroom to my mindees. I was angry that she should do this as it is my business, my home and my mindees - I have to do what is best for them not her! At least I can honestly say when she comes out next year - I have tried it, I work with opening it up at certain times of the day but at other times I don't because it means the children do not effectively use the equipment available.