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LisaMcNally09
28-10-2009, 12:37 PM
Today is mindees 5th day with me and I think he's starting ti find his feet:rolleyes:

Today his behaviour has been terrible! He's shouting at my dd for no reason. Snatching toys off everyone. Running throughout the house. The list goes on.

Im in the process of going through the normal things but its not really working.

Im not too worried as all children have funny days but my question is do i mention to his mum about all this when she picks up???

Minstrel
28-10-2009, 12:39 PM
How old is he?

I would def mention it to mum but not in a negative way. Perhaps just ask her how they deal with it at home, say you want to continue the same methods for coninuity of care.

LisaMcNally09
28-10-2009, 12:45 PM
He's 2 and a half but definately old for his years. He has an issue with sharing but im not particularly worried about that.

Im just worried about the way he has behaviour outbursts if thats the way to explain it! He starts shaking and then does something that isnt appropriate. For example he was sat eating lunch and he just started shaking and then hit my dd (3) on her arm.

Im just wondering how i explain to mum thats all. I know if i ask her how they tackle behaviour shes gonna ask me what he's done.:panic:

Minstrel
28-10-2009, 12:50 PM
It sounds as if he is frustrated.

At that age they think and feel a lot more than they can verbalise (sp) and so it is starting to come out in a physical way.

He needs lots of repetition. Remove him from the play. Make lots of fuss of the injured. Tell mum so you are working from the same page. Acknowledge how he is feeling too. When you go back to him for an apology, i would say something like, I know you wanted that toy but we dont snatch/ we ask nicely/ we musn't hit etc etc

LisaMcNally09
28-10-2009, 12:53 PM
Ive been doing that and he nods in the right places but five minutes later does it again:)

How do i tackle mum though in a positive way??

uf353432
28-10-2009, 12:57 PM
My 2 and half year old mindee did this and I told mum that it was clear he was finally comfortable with me as he was now able to show the more demanding side of his temprement. I gave her a run down of what sort of things he had been up to and we discussed how they deal with behaviour at home.

It actually materialised that his behaviour was as a result of being extremly tired. Typically at this age they start dropping their day time naps and when they have been busy or having a growth spurt they get exhausted really quickly, which comes out in bahaviour.

madasahatter
28-10-2009, 12:58 PM
He's had a few days to settle and now he's pushing the boundaries to see how far he can go. BE FIRM!!!
I would be gentle with mum when explaining his behaviour, but be open about what negative behaviour he has been exhibiting. Tell her it's not a problem as you are well equipped to deal with it but you want to check what she does to see how your methods compare.

LisaMcNally09
28-10-2009, 01:29 PM
He's had a few days to settle and now he's pushing the boundaries to see how far he can go. BE FIRM!!!
I would be gentle with mum when explaining his behaviour, but be open about what negative behaviour he has been exhibiting. Tell her it's not a problem as you are well equipped to deal with it but you want to check what she does to see how your methods compare.

Can you give me an idea on how to broach it? What to say???:D

suzyblue
28-10-2009, 04:11 PM
I would say that he is getting frustrated and that he is hitting out/snatching etc. but dont talk about who he has hurt (especially as its our daughter) and try not to speak through gritted teeth! :D

madasahatter
28-10-2009, 04:23 PM
When she comes I would say 'Well we've not had quite so good a day today. I think he's found his feet, settled in and is now testing the boundaries a bit to see how I react. But that's ok, it's totally normal behaviour and I just need to make sure that we sing from the same hymn sheet (or similar analogy) in how we deal with it. We've had a few instances of ........ does he do this at home? What do you do when he does that? I've been doing.......(time out step/saying no etc) today'

Be confident, reassure her you can cope and that it's better if you have similar ways of dealing with unwanted behaviour so that it is less confusing for her son.

cowboy
28-10-2009, 04:39 PM
I mostly tell Mum about problems but to make it not seem like I'm nagging constantly I try to say the worst and best thing they've done that day.
eg ' I'm afraid he was biting the baby again, I used time out twice. ' then ' I was really impressed how he did the puzzle earlier- he's coming along really well'. I don't know if it's because I'm a coward but I think it might be easier for Mum to cope with after a long day at work!
And I seem to say - oh well I'm sure it's just (another) phase....'
Sorry not much use but I do sympathise, I do look after a lad with some bad behavoiural issues and unless he gets loads of exercise and fresh air we have issues. Even a long walk to the shops can help moderate his behaviour- and he was like that from 2 at least,

Good luck

Paula