View Full Version : lingering parents - help !

01-03-2008, 09:58 PM
OK this is really getting on my nerves . I mind a a 4yr old and 18 mnth old from the same family . When the dad comes to pick them up he stays for 45 minutes !!!!!!! :angry: when he first arrives we have a chat about how the kids have been , collect thee kids bags together and then i would expect him to go just like the other parents do . Last thursday i tried tidying up while he was still here , not engaging in conversation with him , even other kids are collected while he's still here . He lamely tells the kids to get there shoes on but they don't take a blind bit of notice . How can i tell them to go without being offensive ??

01-03-2008, 10:03 PM
i would have the childrens coats and shoes on ready for him to pick em up, when he knocks on the door i would call the children to the door not giving him time to get right in the house, hopefully after a while he will get the message, might also say things like sorry cant chat for long got visitors coming, going out, or some other excuse.

01-03-2008, 10:05 PM
i would have the children ready, shoes and coat on. Greet him at the door with the children and do not allow them to get much further than your hall.
Allow for a 5 minute handover chat, hand him the bags and children and say firmly, well I have to get on so I shall see you tomorrow and say bye to the children.

I would also add in your newsletter that you cannot allow more than a couple of mintues chat as you still have other children in your care and your responsibility lies with caring for them. Just point out that if necessary for the parents to talk to you then you will make time for them if you can blah blah

There speaks the voice of reason - my parents can stay up to an hour!!! Sounds like i need to take my own advice

01-03-2008, 10:08 PM
I have the same problem with a parent

I have always had the children ready she does not step one foot inside my door

But I still can not get rid of her

I think you should stop him coming in and have the children ready

Do a news letter and explain that children must be collected at the door and you can not stop chatting because you can not leave the other children

Wish I could do this but my parent is the last one and she knows it

Good luck

Angel xx

01-03-2008, 10:11 PM
dont blame you for being a bit annoyed hun. its a hate one to approach i would say.

i guess ii do what the others are saying and se ehow thats goes if not write a small letter to every parent statign they can only stay a max of 15mins - change it to what you like .. and state this is for legal reasons with your insurance or soemthing... coz if soemthing did happen to children while dad there and u not technaly ( cant spell it but hope u know wot i mean) looking after them surely your insure will cover you but it wot..

i hope thta makes sense sorry if it dont.

01-03-2008, 10:13 PM
Have their coats and shoes on and bill them for any time that goes past contracted hours they will soon get the message
Bev X
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01-03-2008, 10:13 PM
thanks , all good advice . But i do like parents to come in so that non of the other kids can escape and once one of the other kids goes its just them . But i'm definately going to have the kids ready and say that i've got to go out . Hopefuly he'll get the hint . He is a bit of an odd one ! The other day he asked if i was married or ever had been and actually i was quite offended cos i thought its non of your damn buisness (maybe i was just super sensitive cos i've been single for 2 yrs) :panic:

01-03-2008, 10:16 PM
What a pain. I had one mum here for 45 mins the other day playing with my son on his wii !!!
If I know a parent is a problem I get the childrens shoes on for them and usher them to the door, hand the parent their bags and open the front door.
This one caught me offguard :rolleyes:

01-03-2008, 10:18 PM
oooh errrr, I wouldn't like that question either, you should have asked why he was asking (easier said than done I know). Cheeky so and so.
I know what you mean about closing the door and escaping children, thats why mine get invited in, just don't allow them further than the front door:D

If all else fails I would say that you would love to stop and chat but you are now finsihed/have other children to still care for and you have other committments/demands that you need to attend to.

01-03-2008, 10:21 PM
Tell you what else makes it awkawrd is that the four yr old loves to play with my daughter who normally is a school . so as soon as we get back from the school run the mindee flings her coat and shoes off and starts showing my daughter what shes been playing all afternoon and ff they go playing ! Think what i'll do nxt week is send my daughter upstairs to change out of her uniform cos its no mindees upstairs , then in that time the dad will come and hopefully i can get rid !!! it annoys my children too cos they just want to chill .

01-03-2008, 10:23 PM
[QUOTE=vik3000;71430]oooh errrr, I wouldn't like that question either, you should have asked why he was asking (easier said than done I know). Cheeky so and so.

he said his wife wondered !! :laughing: :laughing: mind you i was very evasive in my answer cos i'm quite private really . Everyones welcome to question my minding skills ect but surely we are allowed some privacy :angry:

01-03-2008, 10:27 PM
[QUOTE=vik3000;71430]oooh errrr, I wouldn't like that question either, you should have asked why he was asking (easier said than done I know). Cheeky so and so.

he said his wife wondered !! :laughing: :laughing: mind you i was very evasive in my answer cos i'm quite private really . Everyones welcome to question my minding skills ect but surely we are allowed some privacy :angry:

Privacy:D :laughing: :laughing: whats that then? Thought we had to be 100% committed faithful and laid bare for the parents to know all about us!!! :laughing:

01-03-2008, 10:30 PM
It's nice to have a good handover with parents, but they have to respect your family time as well... I have a guy who comes in to collect his daughter (fine), sits for a moment with her while she shows him her pictures etc (fine), then settles back on the chair (not fine!)

I think he is lonely, but that is not and cannot be my problem. I have high school homework and tea time tidying to do... and me time to fit into the evening.

Goodnight and thank you, see you tomorrow! :D

02-03-2008, 12:09 PM
I have some parents that arrive long before their contracted time so when its one of those that sits on the floor and decides to read their child a story I feel I have to let them get on with it. For those that are up to their contracted time I have all their stuff by the door and have the child put their shoes on when I see their car pull up (if not before). It doesn't matter how many hints you drop about your dinner burning, having to go out/chores you've got to do next some parents just take their time.

One even comes back! Mum would let him out the front door first and open her car from my hall way, let him get his scooter to ride in the street and then come back in to talk to me! Very awkward, I had to explain in the end that I wasn't happy with him leaving my property unless she was outside with him. Don't think she really understood my pov but she's quite amenable and easy to talk to. So now I keep the key on my belt and I don't let them out til they're both ready to go. Feel like a prison warder! I just felt so awkward about the whole thing. And then the "coming back" visits started - about 5-10 mins after I thought they'd gone he'd come back & knock at the door "for a kiss goodbye" etc. Which is quite sweet but wish he'd have said goodbye properly in the first place!

02-03-2008, 12:21 PM
Ive got one who last week did not want to go he got his coat on then took them off and put them back on the peg and told his mum he wanted to stay and play bless him. He's only 2
Bev X

03-03-2008, 09:54 AM
I've got 3 like that! One of them is the first mindee I took on and of course I didn't want to risk offending her at the time. I have to say, she has gottn better but then have started to plant myself firmly in the hallway when she gets there so she goes quicker now.

Another mum just stands in my hall and lists all of her problems, from health to relationship to whatever. Drives me mad. And there's a dad who just looms around, waffling on and on whilst his son turns from a great kid to a little demon.

I'm very jealous of my time with my family and I just want them to leave! Guess I should just be grateful that they are comfortable with me looking after their little ones.

03-03-2008, 10:01 AM
I bet none of us realised that we would be debt counsellors, marriage guidance counsellors and agony aunts as a side line as well as childminders!!!!!:laughing: If I had realised this is the beginning I may well have done some night classes and then I would be able to charge professional fees!
I've had a dad who settled in for the afternoon and a mum who believe it or not used to bring a bottle of wine on a Friday evening!! She used to be really upset if we were going out! I saw it as a nuisance and it seemed as though they were putting off taking responsibility for their own children, my husband on the other hand saw it as a compliment to how happy they were with my childcare! :rolleyes:

03-03-2008, 12:12 PM
Jut get the child ready, say what they have done.. good day etc.. then walk to the door and open it! You cant gibve a bigger hint than that :)

I always edge to the hallway and then say 'right then, we'll see you on'........ whenever they are next due... works, nobody lingers in my house unless im in the mood for a chat :laughing:


03-03-2008, 09:15 PM
Right then , tomorrow is the day i put all this positive ":censored: off i'm closing now" advice into action lol. Parent is due at 3.15 , i aim to have them out of the house by half past . I'll let you all know tomorrow.......... :clapping: :laughing:

03-03-2008, 10:29 PM
I used to have a mum like this...wanted to offload all her personal problems to me every single day...very draining!!! Even when I was saying - right - Id better get on the dinners ready or whatever, shed still be there waffling on! I also used to have a dad who would stride on in in the mornings and linger and linger...in the end I had to physically block the way and tell him in a light hearted way "right - I'll take it from here or you'll be here all morning"!! In the end he took then hint!! :D

I think the key is to be firm, but in a nice way. Its so hard, isnt it, when you depend on these people for your income. You dont want to offend them,but at the same time, you want to get on with your life!! With all new parents, I lay it on the line right from the start.


04-03-2008, 09:40 AM
Parent is due at 3.15 , i aim to have them out of the house by half past
:eek: No way! 15 minutes is still way too long! Aim to have them in and out in 5 minutes. :D

04-03-2008, 06:09 PM
Wooo hooo it worked ! :clapping: Four yr old had coat and shoes on , baby was in the buggy and front room door was shut to keep the dog in lol . Dad had no choice but to stay in hall . Dad arrived at 3.20........ All gone by 3.25 :jump for joy:

04-03-2008, 06:24 PM
Well done. Hope he gets the hint. :clapping:

Annie x

05-03-2008, 07:52 AM
Brilliant! :thumbsup:

05-03-2008, 07:53 AM
Well done

Angel xx

05-03-2008, 07:56 AM
Way to go girl yippee :clapping:

Miffy xx

09-03-2008, 02:31 PM
Only just catching up with this one.

But wanted to say Well done!

Long may it continue!

09-03-2008, 02:37 PM
Well done:clapping:
Nothing worse than lingering parents
Netty xxx