Difficulty Feeding Mindee

[grindal]

I have a 12 month old mindee and am having problems with him at meal times. He is not very good at feeding himself but the real problem is tea time. He is never interested in tea, although usually eats nothing after lunch12.30pm. He will put some in his mouth, take it out and drop it on the floor if he has to feed himself, and if I spoon feed him he will usually just spit the food out. Today I gave him cut up food from mum which he kept spitting out - so i pureed it and he still refused it. It makes meal times really hard as I give no attention to DS1 and 2 as all my energy goes on trying to encourage mindee to eat. This week i have tried giving DS1 and 2 tea when mindee has gone home, but it means they are eating very late. Every time I speak to mindees mum about it she says oh don't worry he likes to eat with us at home - which makes me wonder why i am bothering trying to feed him every night. Any suggestions on my next course of action - I am beginning to hate tea times with him.

[User100]

I can appreciate how stressful this must be for you. My son wouldn't let me feed him from 10 months old and I found pureeing food and putting it on toast helped as he'd just suck it off the toast. Maybe try this...

[LisaMcNally09]

Is he maybe picking up that he gets lots of attention for not eating???

I would take the emphasis off him not eating. If he doesnt want to eat then theres nothing you can do to force him. Give DS1+2 lots of attention for eating there tea and not give the mindee attention for not eating.

My mindee who doesnt eat is getting so much better now i dont make it into a big deal. He's realised i arent going to spend an hour giving him loads of attention and if he doesnt eat its him thats hungry...no one else IYSWIM. He now eats a couple of mouthfuls everyday. Not great but such an improvement.

hth

Lisa

[Twinkle]

Suggest to mum that if mindee is eating at home with them, could you just give him a little snack when your other lo's are eating.

When you direct your attention away from him to give other mindee's your attention, he may well start eating to get the attention back again :D

[youarewhatyoueat]

He's 12 months old just give him some finger food and let him get on with it, feed your own 2 and he can eat more at home, its quite normal for them to play with food at this age and some days eat loads and others none. I wouldn't worry if he's not screaming with hunger he's probably fine, chill out.

[helenlc]

My mindee who doesnt eat is getting so much better now i dont make it into a big deal. He's realised i arent going to spend an hour giving him loads of attention and if he doesnt eat its him thats hungry...no one else IYSWIM. He now eats a couple of mouthfuls everyday. Not great but such an improvement.

hth

Lisa

I do this now with my 2 yr old who is a terribly lazy eater unless she is fed!! I just put it infront of her and she has 30 minutes to eat . Her choice whether she does or not. Before, I was giving her prompts to eat every couple of minutes but I dont know.

I agree about making a fuss of your 2 - I do this as well.

[uf353432]

He's 12 months old just give him some finger food and let him get on with it, feed your own 2 and he can eat more at home, its quite normal for them to play with food at this age and some days eat loads and others none. I wouldn't worry if he's not screaming with hunger he's probably fine, chill out.

:thumbsup: yep totally agree

[little daisies]

put it in his mouth then place a bulldog clip on his lips so he cant spit it out, works every time:laughing: :laughing: :joker: :ROFL1:

[HomefromHome]

put it in his mouth then place a bulldog clip on his lips so he cant spit it out, works every time:laughing: :laughing: :joker: :ROFL1:

pmsl!!!!!!!:laughing:

[grindal]

Thanks for all the suggestions - I think one of the main probs is that mum provides his tea and it is a spoon fed meal. So the idea of letting him get on with it is not going to work. However, giving my 2 far more attention than I give mindee is a great idea - I am certainly going to start doing that.
Might even try the bulldog clip too :laughing:

[Shirlwith3]

I have a 10month old mindee who has eating problems as he would rather have a bottle than eat so when I do feed him food he will use his tongue to push it it out, I mentioned this to our local childminding inclusion adviser & she suggested putting the food into the side of his mouth which is meant to encourage him to sallow the food rather than push it out his mouth . It dose work most of the time. Mind my mindee dose have other problems which are yet to be looked into.

[balloon]

My mindee used to be a nightmare to feed too. After months of stressing and fretting on my part (and huge amounts of attention focussed on her for not eating for over an hour on most days at the detriment of other little mindees) I decided I could take no more and if she didn't want to eat then she didn't have to (she ate well at home). If she pushed the food around the plate or messed about I just said 'not hungry today?' after about fifteen minutes or so and took the food away and binned it. She didn't get it back no matter how much she screamed for it - I just totally ignored her. I don't suppose this would be approved by ofsted but at 18 months she was running rings around me and it simply had to stop for her own good and for the sakes of the other LOs!

Now she eats just fine, quickly and without fuss and gets lots of attention for clearing her plate ;)

My mother would say it was being cruel to be kind, the do-gooders of this world would probably say its child abuse...

[grindal]

I was far more relaxed about my own 2 eating than i am about my mindee - if DS1 and 2 did not eat I put it down to them not being hungry and just cleared the food away. I also find it difficult as I did Baby Led Weaning with my 2. Mindee will only eat very pureed food from a spoon or tiny little pieces of food that I pass to him to put in his mouth (mum provides this food for him). Conversations with mum always end with her saying dont worry he eats with us when we get home - which make me wonder why I am even bothering. I will try and stress far less about it - but not giving attention is difficult when you are spoon feeding.

[Ripeberry]

I've got a 3yr old mindee this afternoon and she is very difficult to feed, unless its yoghurt, crisps or biscuits :rolleyes: She will eat bananas but always squeezes the bottom of them and says she does not want it. Anything she eats she just nibbles and wanders off.
Mum and Dad say she is like that all the time at home, never stays in one place for long, and I've been minding her for about 7 weeks and its very true!
Today I'm doing soup (the kind that Mum says WILL make her sit down), but we'll see...supposed she will moan about it being too hot and then too cold ;)

[uf353432]

if she is giving him stuff that is pureed, you could always give him some breadsticks and or toast cut into soldiers to dip into the puree, You could spread it on toast and let him eat it. By 12 mths they should be reasonably capable of feeding themselves. I did BLW with both mine too, and normally children show themselves very clearly when they don't want a spoon to be fed - because they want to be a bit more independant.

[little chickee]

As others have said i would sit him at the table with your own kids give them all their tea, lots of praise for yours eating, minimal fuss and attention to the mindee - when your kids have finish and are ready to leave the table tell mindee that teatime is over and take him down from the table.

He will learn that if he wants his tea he has to eat at roughly the same rate as the others or he won't get.

try this for a few weeks if there is no improvment i would tell parents that as he is not eating his tea at your house you will no longer provide it but when you sit yours at the table for their tea he will sit at the table with a drink and small snack to still be included in the whole process.

[grindal]

if she is giving him stuff that is pureed, you could always give him some breadsticks and or toast cut into soldiers to dip into the puree, You could spread it on toast and let him eat it. By 12 mths they should be reasonably capable of feeding themselves. I did BLW with both mine too, and normally children show themselves very clearly when they don't want a spoon to be fed - because they want to be a bit more independant.

The toast is a good idea, but to be honest he has next to no interest in feeding himself anything - he will hold things but seems to find it quite difficult to move them upto his mouth. He will not hold a cup or beaker himslf and if I give him a drink and stop he will shout rather than pick it up himself. Mum does not seem at all worried and just says he is a lazy boy and that her daughter could feed herself by 12 months - which is not really the point. He is off next week as it is half term - maybe she can get him to be a bit more enthusiastic over half term :rolleyes:

Unfortunately Little Chickee - mum is providing tea not me, but then she feeds him at home anyway :panic:

[uf353432]

well at least you have something for your planning - working on his motor skills lol!

Hang in there xx

[little chickee]

Unfortunately Little Chickee - mum is providing tea not me, but then she feeds him at home anyway :panic:

I'm not quite understanding then why you are both feeding him - maybe he knows that he doesn't have to eat at your house because he has tea when he gets home. Maybe he just isn't hungry for his tea at yours.

It just seems he bit daft for Mum to be asking you to give him his tea when she doesnt seem bothered if he eats it or not and is happy to feed him at home.

I would suggest to her that she just waits til he gets home to have tea.