how to say no!!!

[tammerisk]

how do you learn to say no!!!

i might have just signed myself up for woeking 7 days a week (will have all monday and friday off during the day but work after school)

i just can't say no

it not cause of the money i just fe3el like i need to help out everyone that comes along if i have the space is say yes

help help help

am i just nuts or what!!!!

then if can't help then i ring round and see if i can find them a space some where else!!

and feel really guilty if i can

[MissTinkerbell]

I know what you mean.

I just know that my mindees parents are going to expect me to have her 2 days during the holidays despite it being in the contract that I don't have her over the holidays and if they want me to have her they have to give me 2 weeks notice. I've had no notice but know that |I won't say no if they ask and I know that I should.

[Mollymop]

Just say "no" it's easy!!! ha

Would they say "no" if they didn't want to do something? I am sure they would prefer you to be honest about whether you want to do it or not...they won't think bad of you hunni!

I don't find it hard to say no, because I don't like being taken advantage of and get quite cross about it, so I like saying "no" most of the time! :D

[Polly2]

I can have this prob sometimes, I have learnt to say... "I need to consult my diary/check what other children I have, etc" then that buys me a bit of time to have a little think about whether I really want to do it!

[kindredspirits]

i struggled a bit at the beginning - now i am a pro at no! :thumbsup:

[Minstrel]

I also give myslef a bit of time.

I say 'can i have a think about it?'

try it once and you won't believe how liberated you feel instead of guilty! :thumbsup:

[uf353432]

ha ha this reminds me of a conversation I had last week:

Before Session with L

me: "I might give notice to L"
hubby:" yeah?"
me: "hmmmm, its only 2 hours a week, it means I can finish at 1.30 on a Friday and have some time with just the girls (my own) and have time to do some errands etc."
hubby: "sounds like a plan"

L comes for her 2 hour session and I have the following conversation with mum

mum: "how was she today?"
me: "great, lovely afternoon - we had fun"
mum: " great, how you fixed for Jan?"
me: "Jan?"
mum: "yeah, opportunity for a part time job has come up, I would need care for an extra 9-12 hours a week"
me: "ok, well I don't have the space, but we can always apply for a variation from Oftsed"
mum: "I won't take the job unless you can take her, she is so happy with you"
me: "well we will see what we can do with Ofsted then"

L and Mum goes home

hubby: "you need to practise that NO word, you were giving her notice this morning and now you are taking her for an extra 12 hours if Ofsted say yes!"
me: "yeah, hmmmmm didn't quite work that one did it loL!"



still if Ofsted say no - then thats my get out clause ha ha

[Twinkles]

Learn the next few phrases by heart....


1. I'll get back to you on that one.

2. I'll have to check my diary.

3. I'll let you know as soon as possible.

4. Let me have a think about it.

The next two are a bit of a cop out but I still use them

5. I'll ask DH and see if he has any plans

6. I'm not sure if Ofsted will allow that but I'll check :thumbsup:

[charliegee]

Learn the next few phrases by heart....


1. I'll get back to you on that one.

2. I'll have to check my diary.

3. I'll let you know as soon as possible.

4. Let me have a think about it.

The next two are a bit of a cop out but I still use them

5. I'll ask DH and see if he has any plans

6. I'm not sure if Ofsted will allow that but I'll check :thumbsup:

I like those! think I am going to have to get remembering them as well...I too find saying no really hard!

x

[angeldelight]

Learn the next few phrases by heart....


1. I'll get back to you on that one.

2. I'll have to check my diary.

3. I'll let you know as soon as possible.

4. Let me have a think about it.

The next two are a bit of a cop out but I still use them

5. I'll ask DH and see if he has any plans

6. I'm not sure if Ofsted will allow that but I'll check :thumbsup:

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

I could still kick myself sometimes for not saying no but its one of those things and sometimes its difficult when you are in a situation and put on the spot

I think some things come easier with experience so you learn to say No more

I used to work 7 days a week myself and did not like to let people down but in the end I got so tired and had no time for my family or myself so it made me stronger and more able to to say no to people

Hopefully you will get stronger too in the future

Angel xx

[mumx3]

I am going to learn those phrases as well,

I have been desperate for mindees and suddenly I have five...yes five families all interested in various combinations of days and here I am trying to fit the all in! Mad! I had managed to fit in 3 of them which meant I had a Friday off....lovely as I am knackered at the weekends and running round doing housework all weekend. I figured having a friday off would mean I could do the house work and have a nice free weekend with my own family.

Then yesterday I get another phone call someone wanting a Wednesday and a Friday. I can fit them in but do I actually want to????

Then I think if I dont anything could happen with the other mindees parents....redundancies or anything then I am back to square one panicking agaiN!

Nightmare!

[estrelas]

I'm exactly the same

But think very carefully about working 7 days, A few weeks ago I worked 4 weeks running full mon =- fri then had a three year old sat and sunday
I was knackered ended up ill, you need time for yourself or you will end up letting others down xxx

[tammerisk]

it will only be for 2 weeks then i will only be working 3 full days with poss of 3 to five after school session for the following two.

i used to work 6 days a week and it was fine

and i want to foster so i supose that is working 7 days and nights a week.

and out of them 7 days two at least i would have all day till after school to do what i wanted to do

it will just be the 6 week holiday that kills me but i usally take 2 weeks off after that so would be well deserved